scared!!! maybe I've made a mistake

[Cherylanne]

I was reading on another board about how lots of homeschoolers are actually behind their pss peers and that many times the pss are doing a really great job educating our kids. It was also mentioned that some homeschool curriculum isn't as advanced as some ps curriculums. The thread has me terrified now that I have not challenged my kids enough and may have lost a year of school for them. On another thread here I stated that we left ps because ds9 couldn't read well at all..(thinking dyslexia) but I thought I would give a year of one on one with him and without test pressures it would help him. I also wasn't thrilled with some of their teachers. I know we have not covered as much material as they would have in ps. And too, I know the teachers teach for the test coming up.

In all honesty he hasn't made that much progress so far here at home. But at the same time I don't know where he would be if we left him in. We plan to have him tested for LD, but maybe he would have been better off in ps where the expectations would have been higher but he would have had to leave the regular classroom for remedial help. I'm so confused now. We will also be testing at the end of March and I'm really scared.

I ask this here because I thought since Carrie has the public education background I would like her feedback and any of your experiences.

[Heidi in AK]

Cheryl Anne, I've taught in public school as well, and in Christian school. Let me share my two cents...

I think that the public schools and Christian schools do the best they can with what they have. They have waaaaay more financial resources than many HSers (which can be scary, given program cutbacks, etc.), and they try to impart as much information as possible. However, if your child has LD's or such, they are usually not able to get a lot of one-on-one time unless their special needs qualify them to have an aide assigned to them. Guess who that aide at home is? Many times, they are mainstreamed without extra time spent ensuring comprehension and mastery. That said, I do know many, many teachers who sacrifice precious time giving to students who don't understand to make sure they can help the student learn.

Keep in mind, too, that the PS can not give your child a distinctly Christian education. I think this is what I like about what I see in HOD; Carrie has woven the Bible and our knowledge of the Living God through every subject from as small as age 2. Even in the Christian school, I can not possibly give each student what s/he needs; there are too many students, too little time, and not enough of me.

I think that the distinction between HS and PS/CS is a difficult one to make, because of all the factors that must be considered. One cannot say that PS is better than HS, or vice-versa, because it depends on the state, the district, the school, the principal, the teacher, the curriculum, the ancillary resources, the homeschooling mom, the student, and the age. There are too many variables that must be taken into account.

[Carrie]

Cheryl Anne,

Heidi did a great job of answering your questions, and I know other moms will likely be along to answer too. In hoping to better understand your situation, I'm wondering if you could share with us which HOD guide you're currently using and how long you've been homeschooling? That info. will help us better address your concerns and will give us a place to start. Take heart that the Lord equips those He calls, and if you are obedient to His call He will walk with you!

Blessings,
Carrie

[mamayi]

I can completely relate to your feelings here. I struggled for a time with worry about how my children were doing in comparison to their peers in public school.
It happened mostly when we first started homeschooling and after four years they are pretty much gone.

What I did was made a list of goals for my children - educational goals as well as character and life skills - and used that to gauge their progress rather than compare them to their peers.
I referred to that list quite often to see if we were achieving those goals. I also update them yearly and it's neat to see how far they've come.
The list of goals as well as listing out the reasons we home educate give me a firm place to "run to" when my mind starts to fret about how we're doing in comparison to others.

(As a side note I also taught in Christian schools and loved it but when it came time to educate my own children I know God called our family to do it at home - and with HOD!)

I pray that God will give you peace and courage as you sort this out.
Blessings,
Andrea

[Cherylanne]

Carrie,
This is my first year to homeschool and we are not using HOD. I just came across it on another forum and really like what I saw.(been checking it out) I think one problem I've had is I just picked up used curriculum for each subject and there just seems to be no flow with it. I was completely overwhelmed with all the choices when we finally decided to homeschool late last summer.

I will add that we don't plan to homeschool for upper grades unless something changes. My plan was to have them prepared to enter jr high at a private school which uses Abeka...I hear it's more advanced than what the public schools here are doing. So that's why I really need them to stay on track which adds to my anxiety.

[Cherylanne]

Also, I'm not sure what we will do if ds9 does have a ld. The private school I want to go to has a good tutor...that I can use now, but can't afford it. The ps also uses the same remedial program. I will admit too, that I didn't want him to be labeled so early.

[Heidi in AK]

I second Andrea's experience...I'm leaving the CS because I feel called to be the one teaching my kids...

Cheryl Anne, I would encourage you to wait for the wise counsel this board offers, especially that of Carrie and Julie, and so many other ladies here.

Why do you not plan to HS in high school?
What does your hubby think?

I believe that you'll find HOD has a flow to it that really meets that desire of yours. I was attracted both by that and the open-and-go characteristic. I bet you will find so much wisdom here that will help you both address your DS's learning opportunities as well as his preparedness.

How old is he? What have you been doing to this point, and what gaps do you already see in his education? Just a few questions to allow us to support you with some thoughts...

[acts29stl]

Remember that if you have lost your peace with where God has placed you, than what you read is not the Holy Spirit speaking to you. The Holy Spirit doesn't stir up fears to get us to change our paths, but leads us as a Shepherd! I know there is so much information available on the internet, which has its ups and downs. I too, was overwhelmed with all the curriculum choices! I was homeschooled as a child and always desired to home-school my children as well, but quickly saw how "commercialized" it had all become. If you start second guessing what you feel like the Lord has told you and your family to do, it will only lead to more confusion.

HOD has been such a HUGE blessing to me and our family. It is well oraganized, clear, concise and challenging. Everything flows together and the children have loved school since day 1 I have only used this curriculum and my friend who has a masters in Early Elementary has been extremely impressed with this curriculum. She has found no weak links!!!

I will be praying for you! Ask many questions, find the best placement for your dc, and rest in God's plan for you! Homeschooling is a journey for all who undertake it. Let's enjoy the ride

[Cherylanne]

I second Andrea's experience...I'm leaving the CS because I feel called to be the one teaching my kids...

Cheryl Anne, I would encourage you to wait for the wise counsel this board offers, especially that of Carrie and Julie, and so many other ladies here.

Why do you not plan to HS in high school?
What does your hubby think?

I believe that you'll find HOD has a flow to it that really meets that desire of yours. I was attracted both by that and the open-and-go characteristic. I bet you will find so much wisdom here that will help you both address your DS's learning opportunities as well as his preparedness.

How old is he? What have you been doing to this point, and what gaps do you already see in his education? Just a few questions to allow us to support you with some thoughts...

I just couldn't do high school. I want them to have some of the opportunities that it has over what hsing would be at that age...sports, clubs, organizations, etc.
Hubby?? well he needs his own thread He was on board for this year...haven't discussed it yet.

He is 9. I have been doing a simple phonics program called Blend Phonics for about a month. It takes 4 months to go through it. I really don't know what gaps there are until they are tested. We are a little behind in math. I printed the state standards for the boys on each grade but it was too hard see exactly what I needed to do.

[blessedmomof4]

Cheryl Anne,
I would like to welcome you! I would also like to share my experience. My son, who is now a college freshman, was my homeschool "guinea pig". He, like most first kids, got the worst of my mistakes and anxieties. Looking back, I would do it all over again. Zak was an early reader, and I pushed him like crazy at first, with a "highly academic" kindergarten at age 3 and a half If I had known then what I know now, I would not have taken that approach. I wish I had Heart of Dakota for him then! Zak had a lot of trouble in the area of math, and it is not my favorite subject. But because I homeschooled, I was free to keep searching and searching until I found a program he understood. This took until grade 6. I shudder to imagine where he would have been if he had been in public school all those years. With the right program for him, he went from not understanding basic math to doing prealgebra in less than one year. I homeschooled him through grade 8, and he graduated high school with a 3.5 average. That being said, these are my son's words regarding public high school, "What a waste of four years. I could have learned that all in half the time." He wasn't being smug, he was giving an homest observation of his experience. He is doing great in his first year of college, but the results that excite me the most are his strength of character, his love for God, and his ability to think for himself. He is a fine young man and I know being taught at home at his pace and by someone who loves him and has his best interests at heart had a lot to do with that.
Homeschooling has opened up a world of opportunities for my children. My 15 year old is free to spend many hours 6 days a week preparing to be a professional dancer because she is schooled at home. My 13 year old is getting personal, focused attention for her reading difficulties, and my 11 year old gets personal, focused attention in math where she is weaker. Incidentally, both of them attended public school for a year and a half due to some changes our lives, and what happened to them was that they got weaker in their weak areas. By mid-fifth grade my youngest went backward one whole year in math which left her behind two grade levels in math, but in 6 months of coming back home she got back up to grade level. My 13 year old was failing English but now is being stretched and challenged in that area, instead of being allowed to "coast".
Now, with the years of experience behind me and HOD alongside me, I have aplan in place that will take my younger girls through high school. I believe that Godliness, individuality and character far outweigh academics, but I also believe that with HOD you can and will have it all! My girls are learning and retaining far more and far better than they ever did in public school. And the very thing you mentioned, the days flow so well because HOD is so well-orgaized and complete. You will find nothing lacking, and more than you expected! Lastly, as for sports, clubs, etc, there are so many ways to get that into your days outside of public school, and with HOD you willl have time to do those things

[tnahid]

Oh, I just loved reading these posts today! How wonderful! Thank you, Lourdes, for your encouragement. That was excellent information, and how proud you must be of your oldest son. What a blessed woman you are. My oldest has just turned 10, and he says he NEVER wants to go back to school. All I have to do is even suggest it, and he straightens up his attitude RIGHT AWAY! It's pretty funny, really.

CherylAnne,

I feel your fear and understand it fully. I still struggle with this. This is my first year back homeschooling (did it 2 years ago, and then kids went the last 2 years to Christian school). I have also seen both sides and I personally feel quite confident that your son would probably not thrive better at public school OR at Christian school. I have nothing against them. They are filled with wonderful people, but fear over this issue can paralyze us. Why do we compare ourselves to this world's standards? Who made up these standards that our children are supposed to live up to? Who says that a 2nd grader should know this by this age or that a 4th grader should know that by that age? Most likely, most of us on this board are the product of public education. What do we remember about it? Did we have a joy of learning anything? Do we remember all the facts you learned? Did it build our character or damage our self-image or influence us in a godly way? There is SO many more important things in life than learning to regurgitate facts. Fear for a homeschool mother is a constant battle I believe, but especially in those early years of homeschooling. We must fight it EVERY day and overcome it.

If your son needs extra help, I am sure the Lord will show you or lead you to a tutor or even something like Sylvan Learning Center for individual help or something like that. Another thing to consider is, does your son want to go back to school? How would he feel if you sent him back? I know that when I sent my son back 2 years ago, he didn't want to go at all. But I made him. If I could do that over again, I most assuredly would not have done it. But God's grace is so wonderful, and He is so patient with us all. Commit your ways to the Lord, and He will direct your path. He loves our children so much more than we do. Also, I don't even think we realize how many children graduate high school who can barely read on an elementary school level. It is amazing.

Also, you might want to read some of John Taylor Gatto's writings. Here's a link to some excerpts from his book. His insight and thoughts really encourage me and help to dispel fear. He was a veteran public school teacher:

http://www.homeschooloasis.com/art_john ... _gatto.htm

I say we focus on the basics of reading, writing and arithmetic, and that is the best thing we can do. I had a woman tell me once that ALL she did with her children each day was a math lesson. That is ALL she consistently did with them. I guess she would be considered an unschooler. But her oldest son had just graduated from the Air Force Academy or some really high up position. She was the sweetest more assuring woman. She said all of her children were grown now and doing very well out in the "real" world. I hope you are encouraged. We are all in this together. While we are NOT to be ANTI-public or Christian education, we are also not to live in fear or worry or anxiety. Let us continually lift it up to God for His direction. His grace is there no matter what happens, no matter what we choose. His love and grace is with us always through His Son Jesus.

[Mom2Monkeys]

I have a unique perspective on this right now. I've been homeschooling for quite a few years, and just had to enroll my kids in public school in january. This is in a coveted school district that is thought of very highly. YOU ARE GOING TO BE FINE. Trust me! My kids had to be assessed to see if perhaps they needed to be put a grade below since they were coming from homeschooling. I'll just say...no one was put a grade behind.

DD9, very young for 4th grade. We've used a few programs for her, jumped around a bit with math, and never really settled into anything long term until we found HOD. She used Beyond in 2nd grade, but we had to skip a lot and double up in the last several weeks since we were moving, had a miscarriage, got pregnant again and I was getting into morning sickness, ....blah blah blah....I felt we had to finish up "with the school year" so we missed a lot of great stuff.
We moved, started getting settled in, I was miserably pregnant having very bad heart issues and tired as could be, was reeeeaaaallly inconsistent with school , having lots of issues with my then toddler, and we barely got a few weeks of Bigger Hearts in for 3rd grade and I totally dropped it and just opted to let them read and watch educational shows for the rest of teh school year. So we picked it back up starting after the baby was here and it felt we had been doing American History forever and getting no where and had almost 3/4 of the guide still left to do, she had outgrown or become bored with the program and we switched to PHFHG half speed to change things up. It helped! But, you see here, there's no consistency and no great progression of skills.....we weren't making good progress with math. She's now only in Grade 3 Math Mammoth (similar to Singapore). During all this, I did little to nothing with my now 7yo 1st grader. I just didn't have it in me to do anything with anyone.

Now, here we are enrolling them in school, I'm in a panic thinking I've done them wrong, they're going to place super low and guess what....They both went right into grade level....DS7 is reading right on track. His math is ahead. DD9 who I thought was behind in math is actually right on track even though we're only in the grade 3 book. She's so ahead in reading skills/comprehension they just stopped the test because she was well past 4th grade level and they felt no need to test anymore. They said her number sense was incredible and that I only thought she was behind in math b/c she's so ahead in reading. We just had parent teacher conferences and my DS's teacher couldn't admit to me that she was impressed...she said plenty to insinuate that but seems like she didn't want to let on that homeschooling isn't all bad. LOL. My DD's teacher was so impressed with DD that she raved about how smart she is and how excellent homeschooling must be...in fact, she asked me what curriculum I used b/c she's been encouraged to pull her son out and wants to use what we use!!! We've not done formal writing lessons...just the narration skills and excellent reading in HOD...DD's teacher was super impressed with a report my DD wrote on big cats and said it was superb. She wanted to know how I taught her to write...I didn't! HOD has such wonderful skills woven in that it's hard to see the meat of the program until you get some time with it under your belt and can look back to see how far you've come.

If all this was achieved with all our chaos and lack of staying on track, I can assure you that public school is not advanced over homeschooling! They may do some things earlier, but that doesn't make them advanced. For example, I don't like that my 1st grader is learning about using quotation marks and other advanced grammar topics on a daily basis, when he isn't even writing to use them yet! Many things don't make sense in how they teach what they teach and when they teach it. We've had nothing but success with HOD. We can't wait to come back to it this fall! DH was fully ready to keep them in ps until now...we're on the same page now

[tnahid]

That is SUPER encouraging, Tamara. Thank you so much for sharing that! I just LOVE this board! What a tremendous blessing it is! Our Father is so faithful to us, in ALL our circumstances in which life finds us in. He is weaving His will throughout our lives in ways only He can know, for a greater purpose and it is all part of our destiny in Him. Wonderful news about your children, Tamara. Bless you!

[Heidi in AK]

Hi Cheryl Anne, as I pray for your situation, Proverbs 3:5-6 keep resonating with me. I'm sure you know it; "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths (make them straight)." I just want to encourage you to be careful to whom you entrust this situation and to protect who you allow to speak into it.

I personally want to encourage you to be open to high school. You may find you like homeschooling too much to stop.

[water2wine]

I pulled 4 kids out of ps and what I found is that what had been covered was not actually comprehended and turned into learning. My dd after 3rd grade in ps could not multiply,divide, or regroup subtraction. She is very bright. It had been covered in ps. But she had not learned it. All the while the teacher conferences just told me how bright she was. Teaching her myself she really is math minded. So covering things in ps does not always equate to learning material. I will tell you that her friends in middle school and high school at church often tell her they wish they were hsed. And she is able to converse with them about science, math and history on their level or above. I know this because she tells me this and she is a child that can be intimidated so it is very important to her that she can converse with them academically.

Sometimes "results" are appear to be skewed because in the early years we do not necessarily present subject matter in the same order as ps. Because we are not held to standardized testing like ps teachers so often are, we can teach in the order that our child learns best and the order that makes sense for our goals for our children by each child. That may mean that it seems that we are not covering things that ps is and therefore our children are not getting the better education, but in the end the proof is in the pudding. There is a reason top colleges are now preferring hsers. Hsing kids lean how to learn and they have work ethic their ps counters often lack.

Now all that being said there is something much deeper than academics. As hsers we are able to follow God's command to train our children up in the Lord. You can still do that in ps after school. But I have to tell you that I know for sure I could never compensate for the time and the way they are learning in ps away from the teachings of and about God so that they can really know Him and know His voice. And when I had my kids in ps I was diligent about teaching them His ways. But when I pulled them out of ps and taught it to them in everything, that is when I really saw them come to know Him and see Him in everything. It begins to show in how they see the world when they learn about everything through the lens of His word and Who He is. There is no academic test that counts the value of that. I think we can agree that is worth so much more. But we are lucky as hsers we can have both academic excellence and train them up in the Lord. And even more blessed is we get to decide what is academic excellence. We can choose how much of that is standardized test performing and how much of that is being prepared to live life as God is calling them to live. And even better we can ask God for help in that and actually adjust how we teach to what He shows us is His will. And these are the things I think about when I begin to feel the enemy attack me on hsing.

The right answer is what God shows you is right for who He made you and your children to be. Praying He shows you clearly so that you can have peace beyond all understanding. Remember also that those that He calls He is also faithful to equip. I know that for me personally if He calls me to homeschool, He also calls my children to be hsed and He will equip us all for His call in that.