heartofdakota.com

First I want to say how much I appreciate the ladies on this board, and Carrie for allowing us to talk about our needs as well as share about homeschooling with HOD. A while back I posted about our home situation, and I have an update that is kind of mixed news. We got an attorney who attended a mediation with us and the lender's representative. They actually said our current income is enough to allow us to enter into a modification. However, because it is an FHA loan, there is a requirement that we pay 4 months mortgage up front before they can start the modification process. Needless to say, we don't have this amount in our hand right now. Therefore, the only way to "buy time" was to agree to enter into a short sale agreement, which means we have 7 business days to list our home for sale with a realtor. This would "freeze" the foreclosure process for at least 90 days. If the bank does not get an offer on the house, and we are able to have that money at any time within the 90 days, we could still get the modification. We do not wish to leave our home.
Of course, the lender's representative and even our lawyer were looking at me weird for not wanting to seek full-time employment again. I had to agree I was willing to look for additional part-time employment, as I currently only get paid as a worship vocalist at church part time-but I feel like that is a lie, because I know my girls need me here, and I do not want anything that would keep me out of the home for more time. Besides, the reason we became late was my husband's hip surgery last year, and him losing income while he was recuperating. Even when we both were working full-time, he was the major bread-winner. Just edited to add, my husband has applied and interviewed for advancement on his state job 6 times this year, and been passed over each time. He applied and was interviewed for a better-paying job with the county, and never heard anything back. You woiuld think someone would want to advance a man with 3 bachelor's degrees and a masters...but we feel like we can't get a break. He is now planning to brush up his resume and apply for a teaching position at a Lutheran school-he was formerly a college Spanish professor, and his other degrees are in German and music.
It is frustrating-the only reason we have to pay those 4 months up front is because we are now over 12 months late on the mortgage. But if the lender had approved the modification sooner, when we applied through a non-profit advocacy organization, we would not have had to pay that, and we had the same income then as we do now! Yet they turned down the non-profit organization's proposal when we were only 6 months late. I feel like they did this on purpose to make it more difficult and get some money out of this, since the FHA does not pursue borrowers for a deficit. And now we have the added expense of a lawyer. The only thing we can see is that perhaps our tax refund this year, along with us saving as much as possible would make up that up front payment, just as long as no one makes an offer on the house first. This is a hard burden to bear during Christmas, and we have only little "stocking stuffer" gifts to give the children-there are things they need and want that we won't be able to get while trying to set aside for the house. Dan and I can't even afford to get new glasses for ourselves right now and we both need bifocals for the first time. Dan was thinking of letting the car payment fall behind a month so we can see better. We have said nothing of all this to the children all along, because we did not want them living in fear of losing their home. Dan says the best gift the children can get this Christmas is not being homeless.
It is a hard way to spend the holiday season, but all we can do is trust God, but it is hard. Thank you all for your prayers, and have a blessed Christmas season.

Gosh, I am so sorry you all are going through this at Christmas (or any time).

I am very concerned about the plan your lender came up with. A short sale typically offers the house for much less than it is worth and a buyers...even some Investors look for this type sale and jump on it. I am sure you have addressed these concerns already and I am not sure what other options you have at this time. I will be in prayer for your family as you go through this. While nothing is certain with humans, we have God that makes all things possible!

God Bless!

I have prayed and will try to lift you and your family up to the Lord. Seek his face, and keep working through Him. My husband's family faced simular problems many yrs ago @ Christmas time. It was the hardest time of his life, but it taught him how to rely on the Lord and how to live frugaly. Perhaps making up" time with a parent" cards for your children that have free activities with them as gifts. And a letter of your approval (which they will treasure). You can make it with the Lord's help.

Just now prayed for you Lourdes. I'm so sorry that you're struggling right now...and so glad that when we don't have the answers, we can know that we serve & trust GOD Who does! He has a plan for your family. And he will make that known as you seek Him.

Kathleen

I am praying for you with a heart full of compassion. God is God, even in the valleys of our lives. I don't know His plan for this situation, but I am confident that He will not leave you alone...even if it feels like it sometimes. May the Lord grant you His peace this Christmas as you find simple ways to celebrate His humble birth. May He give you creative ideas for giving to your children in unexpected and unique ways. May this be the most memorable and joyful celebration of His birth that your family has ever had! (HE can do that.)

And...as a former Spanish teacher...I have a little suggestion...if dh hasn't already tried it...or if he has any extra hours in his day. Please, don't take anything I say as a criticism, just ideas. We are in a similar boat! In the short term, could your husband tutor Spanish and/or German before or after his work day or on Saturdays? The $$ is pretty good, and the hours are set by him. I don't know what the requirements are there, but he probably meets those requirements as a former college professor. Or, he could offer evening classes for homeschooling families in music, German and/or Spanish. Although one family rarely pays well, having 5 or 6 kids in a class at $5 or more a class (basically an hour) adds up to $30 an hour....or $120 a month. It seems like a little, but every little cent helps in our home!!

Praying for the wisdom of God to be poured out on you and for His joy for you all this season. I can only imagine how difficult it is for you to struggle at this time of year.

Praying for His provision!!

When dh needed bi-focals he used cheap reading glasses from Dollar General until we got him in to the eye doctor. It wasn't ideal, but worked until we could afford better.

Praying for you now and will continue to do so.
Peace and total reliance upon Him.

Candice

Laying my hand on the screen over your post and praying for you now. Blessings.

praying

Lourdes - I am praying for you!
In Christ,
Julie

I'm praying for you as well Make sure if they do sell the house in the "short sale" market that the bank frees you (in writing) from any left over debt (shortfall) of the mortgage. Hoping that doesn't happen.

I listen to Dave Ramsey a whole bunch and in these type of situations he says to just start piling up money. Sell so much stuff the dog goes into hiding for fear he is next. I have to admit ever since we found him and started budgeting (again) my life has been so much more peaceful, and so much less stressful. But could you take a job just over the holidays? they need stockers and checkers, it won't be for long. I used to work at a nursery in the frigid months Up in NY.. it was cold but fun and It really helped stretch the budget cash. I was always grateful to get away and grateful to come home. And you do get the benefit of Mommies home Mommies home.. reaction the kiddos give Dad when he comes home. But I never worked more than 16 hours out side of the home.

Let me also encourage you. The year we had no money (school strike) and no food (had to turn back from grandma's due to a storm mom had eaten the house down) was My favorite Christmas memory. Only place open was a 7-11 so we had lots of grilled cheese sandwiches, a few presents, and a whole lot of fun just being together.

Lourdes, you have been on my heart all day. I just keep praying for you. God is able to do so much more than we could possibly ask or imagine. I don't know what He plans for you, but I know that we often have to travel through valleys that lead us closer to Him. May you find Him sufficient this Christmas!

And, I am with Tansy. We listen to Dave Ramsey....and try to apply his principles. We have sold EVERYTHING we could, except the kitchen sink - oh, and the kiddos. My mother-in-law asked if it was safe to sit down, for fear I would sell her. I told her that anything not nailed down was fair game. HA! Seriously, we are in a difficult season of life, too and I have had to take another part time job (that is a total of 3...ummm...yes, I am exhausted!!) I don't get the "Mommy's home" because kiddos are in bed when I get home...awww...but I do get to feed them something other than rice and beans (which was our staple when I was only working 2 part-time jobs:-) Dh is working 2 part-time jobs that add up to more than 40 hours until he can find a full-time job (that has been going on for over a year now). We are on the verge of making some tough decisions (like selling our house before we find ourself without one). So, I totally understand. We cancelled internet for awhile, don't have any paid tv, don't eat out, shop the food sales or about to be outdated food, have had to visit the food bank for groceries, are down to one car that is paid for (reduces insurance, gas but isn't as convenient) etc. It is difficult and sometimes discouraging, very humbling.

Anyway, I just want to assure you that you are not alone. Others have gone through this...and it is not easy. It is sooo difficult and it is so frightening at times, but remember, the God of the Universe holds you in His hand, you can take refuge in Him!

Thanks for all the prayers and suggestions. I want to stress that we actually make enough money now to be approved for a modification-but since the lender dragged their heels to determine this, now we are under the FHA requirement to have four months up front in hand before the lender can reinstate us. It is that 4 month downpayment that we don't have at the moment, but perhaps may have when taxes are filed. But they aren't willing or able to wait, and said listing the house for short sale is the only way to halt the foreclosure. The sooner we have that downpayment, the better, as we don't want to sell the house at all. As it is we have no paid TV, our tv is an ancient one, no flat-screen, only about 17 inch screen with a converter box that was given to us. We have only the computer that the online school loaned, so not ours to sell, and our laptop, which is needed as a backup-if the school computer should have an issue, the local library is not an option as they only give an hour a day and my oldest daughter alone needs 6 or more hours. So we need the internet, which is $55 a month. At least the school provides a small subsidy for that. We have a family cell phone deal with basic phones, no special features, to keep in touch with the teens for their safety, as they are often elsewhere doing their things. It's a big city we live in. My oldest is in college on grants and the next one is in ballet on scholarship, and may become a paid trainee next year. We have no valuables besides our simple wedding bands. Most of our furniture is hand-me-downs, except our 2 bookshelves in the living room and dining set which the dogs have scratched, and our mattresses that were a gift, plus one of the girls' beds. We have one car that hubby needs to get to work-he had a heart failure years ago and takes many pills daily to live-he absolutely cannot walk a mile to the nearest bus stop-he needs the car. We have 13 months left to pay on that-it is just a small 5 seater, and not new but thankfully runs well and so far has only needed minor upkeep, but already has almost 100K miles on it. We do shop the food sales/about to be expired food, and even receive a little assistance in that area. We sometimes eat out dollar menu fast food, because of being out of the house at dinner time to do our part time work at church. Believe me, I went the route of looking for other part-time work, but no one hired me. And my hubby has applied for every promotion available at the state, but they didn't promote him. And the county didn't hire him for the position he applied for. There isn't anything you are suggesting that we have not thought of. So, yes, it is humbling, when all the ideas are tapped out and all that is left is to call on the Lord, and ask for prayers. Maybe it's his will that we lose the house, rent somewhere and lose most of the pets too.

Just wanted to say, I will be praying for you. We went through a hard time when we moved across states and hubby took a new job. It was difficult but looking back on it all now, we can see God's hand all over it. We learned allot during that time and God changed a number of our priorities. I know that if you are trusting Him, that He will work out all things for your family's good. Sometimes that "good" doesn't look so good in the midst of it, but on the other side we see the full picture. Praying for a break through for you and trusting God will direct you all and give you His peace in the midst of this storm.

Edie

I just wanted to apologize to Shelly for reacting so negatively to her suggestions. I am so overwhelmed with grief after having tried so hard for so long, and the loss of our baby this year, well it just makes it harder to face any more losses. I know Shelly and many of you know just how I feel, as I see many signatures on this board that show that there are babies waiting for them in Heaven. It's been a rough road and it's very hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know that all of you ladies are Christ-following, gentle women and that is why I brought my requests before you. So I am sorry for letting my sorrows get the better of me and answering in defensiveness when everyone is just trying to help.
My small update is that my husband got an unexpected check in the mail today. It is a dividend from the auto insurance company. Because they had informed him rates were going up, he thought there wouldn't be one. It is not anything that will make a dent in the house situation, but it is enough to make our Christmas a little brighter. Again, thank you all for your prayers and encouragement, and I thank God for this little reminder that He is with us when things seem darkest.