Problems from not "keeping my eyes on my own paper"

[Happy2bMommyof3]

Hi Ladies,

I was reminded by a lady on Christian radio this morning that we moms need to "keep our eyes on our own paper" when it comes to parenting and doing our best according to the differing needs of our children and our families. I think that especially applies to those of us who homeschool and tend to wonder more about where our kids compare with others, etc. That being said, I don't think I've been "keeping my eyes on my own paper" when it comes to my son who is 5 (6 in November). I purchased Little Hearts for him (hoping to do K), and realized it was quickly over his head. He has a hard time sitting still, concentrating, etc. but he did enjoy the workbooks so I decided to put away the Manual and only do the Early Bird math, Do it carefully and 100EZ Lessons. I was thinking I would just do Little Hearts with him next year for 1st grade with the 1st grade supplements.

Well, this aside, I have a 4 year old dd who is going through the Rod and Staff Kindergarten books for her Pre-K. And he is where I made my mistake, because while my 4 year old dd is doing extremely well with the R&S, my Noah is really struggling and gets frustrated so easily now with the K books for Little Hearts. He did do well at first, but I think that things are advancing too quickly for him to keep up especially with the Earlybird math...100 EZ lessons is also now a struggle every day. I think the R&S would be perfectly suited for him right now, but I don't want to drop him down to using his little sister's books because I think he will feel like I am making him do "baby stuff". I have put myself in this dilemma by thinking he could do this level work like other kids his age, now I am not sure what do do to correct it.

If I stop the Early bird math and drop him down to the R&S, would I pick it up next year where I left off? Will he be that far behind if I do Earlybird Math when he is in 1st grade, or is it okay because Singapore is a bit advanced... What about reading?...The only comparison I really have is my oldest who was reading well in kindergarten. Should I wait on the reading with my ds, or should I just work harder with him in reading now? Does anyone have any advice? I think I know what I need to do, I just need some encouragement/ confirmation that what I am thinking is correct.

[John'smom]

God created all children differently. Even a few months can make a HUGE difference at this age. I don't know that I can tell you exactly what to do, but go with your gut and the peace that God gives you and as you say, "keep your eyes on your own paper". You ds' paper will be different than others.

My own experience:

My ds (who turned 8 in June) never read much in K. First grade, he sounded "everything" and I mean almost everything out. It was torture (for me atleast). The last half of second grade his reading really took off!!! He's defintely on grade level now and a little above. It was so discouraging to me when I'd hear others say that their second graders were reading on a fifth grade level and consuming books at a large rate. My ds would listen to me read aloud forever, but only pick a book up on his own to look at the pictures. I had to just institute reading aloud to me for 15 min. each day or he wouldn't do it on his own. We just finished the Emerging Readers, and were suppose to start DITHOR this week, but I didn't have everything copied and ready. He's asked me several times about his "reading" book and even told me he misses having a book. Yesterday, he got up early and read 4 chapters of the book of Revelation in his Bible. Now he's not consuming books like others, but this is where he's at and it's so much better than where he was before.

My dd (who turned 6 in July) started reading in K and very well at that. When she has free time, you will see her with a book. She is reading books this year (in 1st) that her bro. did not read until the last half of 2nd grade. She also reads with animation and lots of inflection and her bro still does not do this much at all. I've hardly had to do anything but teach her what the letters of the alphabet say and she started to read, whereas my son, I spent gobs of time with him.

Children are just so different. No big deal your ds may need more time, he will read. It's best that you have a son who loves to learn and that you have a good relationship with. KWIM? My advice take a little break and spend plenty of time reading aloud to him, then come back to it, but only you can know for sure. Hopefully my experience helps in knowing you're not alone. Oh, and now that my ds is 8 yrs. old, I really realize how young 5 is.

[countrymom]

Children are all so different and the beauty of homeschooling is we can teach them where they are at instead of them being boxed into age groups that are supposed to do X, Y, and Z. If your son is really struggling I think it would be of benefit to slow down and readjust. Many children are not ready to read until age 7 or 8 and math can be as variable. I would find something he can enjoy and I don't think it would be wrong to just start over with Little Hearts when he is ready. Maybe you could do Little Hands with him so he has "his own" schoolwork and doesn't feel like he is being dropped down with little sister. You could supplement it with Handwriting Without Tears and the Before Explode the Code books (there are 3) to give him a little more challenge. We are using those books right now with our youngest and they are fun, but not as in depth as TRL and the kinder handwriting book. With math I would just do the Little Hands activities and let him grow into it. We will be praying for you as you make your decision.

[Tansy]

When my eldest struggled with ez lessons I just dropped her back a few lessons in the book and set a timer for 15 min lessons. When I insisted we finish a lesson it always ended in tears. :-/ So we just took it real slow and she can read

[my3sons]

I have had to accept what pacing worked for my oldest may not work for my middle ds, and what works for my youngest ds may be different than what worked for my oldest as well as different from what worked for my middle ds. Potty training very recently taught me that. But it is a lesson I have to keep learning I guess , so know you are not alone in this!

I am wondering, could you stop it all and do LHTH with the 2 of them? Making sure ds understands this is not a demotion, but just an exciting program you want to use with the 2 of them? (Which it is, BTW !) It sounds like your dd may be about the same place as your ds. This would give them the chance to work together. Since the R & S Workbooks may be a point of contention right now, as younger dd is doing fine with them and ds may feel very sad about that, I think I'd put them aside for awhile just to clear the air. I'd just get LHTH with all of the older resource choices and enjoy that for a year. Then next year, you could start LHFHG with the 2 of them fresh. I'd get new workbooks and everything. I think the hands-on lessons for EB Math are outstanding, and this would give you the chance to systematically go through LHFHG from start to finish, partaking in all of its balance and bells and whistles! You could have ds do Thinking Skills Grade 1 at that point, if he remembers the R & S books and there's some tension about it. You can also just start 100 Easy Lessons over again, or do a different phonics program otherwise just for a totally fresh start. He still fits fine in the LHTH age range, and so does your dd. You can always begin phonics with him halfway through LHTH, same with the workbooks. What are your thoughts on this idea though? There are probably other options too!

In Christ,
Julie

[Kathleen]

I was going to say the same thing as Julie. I'd do LHTH with them. We have LOVED it here! It's just a wonderful program for that age, and my kids have had a blast with it!

I added in The Reading Lesson slowly with Allison when she was a little over 4 1/2. (We went very slowly...and didn't finish until she was 6.) The Reading Lesson is very easy to use, and I personally liked it much better than 100 EZ lessons. (So, if you're not happy with 100 EZ Lessons, I'd give it a try.) When I was using it will Alli, I'd review 2 pages and do 1 new one per day. This seemed to get us going well.

Kathleen

[Happy2bMommyof3]

Thank you ladies so much for your replies! I have decided to use the Christian Liberty Press K Phonics, readers, and Math. I know that HOD uses alot of CLP resources, and my oldest dd used CLP before we switched to HOD last year. I know the quality is good and it will be the level he needs so that he can transition into LHFHG next year. We're just going to take a week or so off to work on number and letter recognition until the CLP stuff gets here. My plan is to lay off of a "reading program" right now and just follow the phonics program...just take it slow...I feel confident now that I am doing what I need to.

Thanks again for all of the great advice!!