heartofdakota.com

Hi friends,
I am just writing to ask for some encouragement and prayer. In our state, standardized testing is required. My son has taken the test twice and excelled. He'll take it again this year, and I have no worries about him. He is advanced, an avid reader, and does well with everything. I assumed my daughter would be the same....this is where you all smile because you know no two children are alike! My daughter turned 8 in July, so she is a very young third grader or a second grader. I am not sure where to place her, she is not advanced. I placed her as a second grader with the school district, just to have some leeway in case she doesn't do well with testing. By age, she could definitely be 3rd. Anyway, she will take an 'end of 2nd grde' test on the 28th. I am just getting anxious, and I know I shouldn't, because I know it really doesn't mean much at all in the longrun. In all honesty, I want her to do well for my own pride. We all want to see our children succeed. Of course, this isn't my primary goal in life, her spiritual development and character are of primary importance. She is a special little girl! But anyway, I am driving myself a bit nuts preparing her for the test. We are doing a test prep book, and will have it completed by the test date. I am finding a lot of things in there that she does not know well. I guess in some ways I feel like I have short-changed her. The first child got so much focus and attention, so much instruction. The second child has gotten a lot less from me (when she began homeschool K, my third child was just born, so I feel the last 3 years, all her years of education, have been foggy with the third child in the mix).
I am trying to prepare her by using the test prep book, so she knows what to expect, understands the way they ask questions, how to fill in bubbles, and how to navigate questions that she doesn't understand. I just am feeling anxious over the whole thing. Feeling like, what have I been doing the last 3 years for her? Feeling like I haven't given her enough attention with schooling. Concerned that she won't do as well as her brother. Etcetera. I could just use some hugs and pats on the back.
I know from now on, I am going to borrow the What Your 3rd Grader Should Know book from the library and spend a half hour each week going through it with her. I just don't enjoy feeling behind. I never before thought I cared what the public schools were teaching, but I now wish I had cared. I am having a hard time explaining it, but I guess I just don't want huge gaps in her education and think I have maybe not taken it seriously enough.
By the way, this is NOT a reflection of HOD, as I haven't used HOD with her a whole lot. I am just talking here because I know you all will understand. And encourage me. Thank you!

lovetobehome,
I understand! I prayed for you...that God will affirm to you that you are obeying His will and following His voice. May you experince His peace and mercy today. May He grant you wisdom to know how to handle your daughter's schooling, and may He enable you to experience His grace in the matter. May the Lord stand by your dd's side as she takes the test and help her recall all the information she has studied. May He guide her and steady her, giving her His peace and surrounding her with His presence.

I know it is very difficult not to get caught up in what the ps is doing or to compare our kiddos with others...especially when they are required to be tested. Yet, you are giving your kiddos the most important thing they will need in this life: a firm foundation, rooted and grounded in God!! And that is what I love about HOD, too. It is academically challenging while keeping God at the center of it ALL!!

Blessings!

I prayed that God would give you peace

I know where you are at.. I have one in p/s and she tanked her preliminary standardized tests. Her scores were abysmal. Highest was 2nd grade 7th month. She is 11 and has 3 years of 3rd grade under her belt. Interestingly enough her therapist tested her on the Monday of the previous week. Where her reading was 7th grade word ability and 5th in comprehension. Math was 4th grade 6 month. So who is right the standardized tests? Where she had to read nonsense words to test her word reading ability? Or her therapist?? Don't stress its so not worth it.

4Hispraise wrote:lovetobehome,
I understand! I prayed for you...that God will affirm to you that you are obeying His will and following His voice. May you experince His peace and mercy today. May He grant you wisdom to know how to handle your daughter's schooling, and may He enable you to experience His grace in the matter. May the Lord stand by your dd's side as she takes the test and help her recall all the information she has studied. May He guide her and steady her, giving her His peace and surrounding her with His presence.

I know it is very difficult not to get caught up in what the ps is doing or to compare our kiddos with others...especially when they are required to be tested. Yet, you are giving your kiddos the most important thing they will need in this life: a firm foundation, rooted and grounded in God!! And that is what I love about HOD, too. It is academically challenging while keeping God at the center of it ALL!!

Blessings!

Shelly, what a beautiful prayer - I am praying it now too.

Love to be Home, I understand the guilt about each child's experience being different. I have often bemoaned that my 2nd and 3rd children (and 4th and 5th) have not received near as much read aloud time as my first one did. I also used to be sad that there were 3 years between my first two sons (I had a couple miscarriages) and thought it would have been better for them if there had been 2 years between them. But a friend reminded me that God knows what each child needs and he has placed each child in our family according to His timing and His will for their lives. He will use their place in the family for His purposes for each child.

I'm also finding out that some of the homeschool choices I made early on (with my oldest) that I thought were so perfect are not bearing the fuit now that I would have hoped for. God still uses it all!

I will test my 2nd son for the first time at the end of this school year. I'm looking forward to seeing how different his strengths and weaknesses are compared to his older brothers! Next year when I test my dd for the first time, I will be back here asking for prayers! LOL! She definitely thinks differently than they do and differently than I do, . Sometimes it helps me to remember that homeschooling is a marathon, not a sprint.

Lastly, I sympathize with what you said about your pride. I struggle with this too! Praying God will help us both.

Blessings,
Lynn

I understand this. I think we all can feel that pressure, and we all do want our dc to succeed. What is success though? I remember when my niece was graduating high school. She went to ps for high school, and another girl and she were vying for the position of first in the class. She was so stressed about it. The other girl ended up first in the class, but she abandoned her faith and began dating an atheist. I told my niece I was so proud of her - not because she was second in her class, but because her faith was intact and flourishing. I told my sister who was quite sad about this outcome for my niece that I was so proud of her, and I asked if she'd rather have had my niece be first in her class and have no faith, or have her be last in her class and have faith, spending eternity in heaven? She said the latter - my sister is a smart gal. I know we don't have to choose sometimes. Some dc have both, and that's great! However, wisdom without the Lord really isn't wisdom at all.

This really made me think about my own dc, and how I'd measure their success in life. My dh and I talked it over, and I explained that the perfectionist in me really wanted high test scores, etc. to prove academic prowess. I told him I finally came to decide that I would rather have very average dc that have God in His rightful place of first in their lives. This was a big step for me, as I've always felt pressure from my dh about homeschooling, probably more because of me than of him. I used to tell him I wanted to homeschool for our dc to have a better academic education. After several years of homeschooling, I decided there was a bigger purpose for homeschooling, and that was so God could be a vital part of our dc's day. Once I'd shared this change of thinking with my dh, a burden was really lifted. If my dc didn't score as well on a standardized test, it wouldn't mean failure on my part or on their part. It would mean we had some things academically to work on, but it wouldn't mean homeschooling was a bust. However, if my dc have no faith in God, that means I am failing, they are failing, and homeschooling is failing. This was a huge change of heart for me!, and it has done wonders for me to be able to relax and enjoy homeschooling more!

With HOD, our dc have done very well with their standardized testing, but I know my last ds may be the average Joe, or that my other dc may have lower scores in years to come. I hope I'm alright with that as long as their faith is right. HOD is strong academically, but it's also strong spiritually. It's Christ-centered. There is no better success in life than having Jesus on the throne of our hearts. So, I did pray for your dd to do well on her testing, and I also prayed for her to continue to grow in her faith and in loving the Lord. I know you already place this emphasis on Christ first in your life, lovetobehome, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm really glad you do! The fact that you realize this is a temptation to get caught up in test scores is a true testimony to how much you understand the Lord's place in your life. Thanks for sharing this, as it's something we all struggle with!

In Christ,
Julie

It's so nice to hear how much everyone struggles with this and know that we're not alone. Julie, your post really touched me. I can so relate to this part:

This really made me think about my own dc, and how I'd measure their success in life. My dh and I talked it over, and I explained that the perfectionist in me really wanted high test scores, etc. to prove academic prowess. I told him I finally came to decide that I would rather have very average dc that have God in His rightful place of first in their lives. This was a big step for me, as I've always felt pressure from my dh about homeschooling, probably more because of me than of him. I used to tell him I wanted to homeschool for our dc to have a better academic education. After several years of homeschooling, I decided there was a bigger purpose for homeschooling, and that was so God could be a vital part of our dc's day. Once I'd shared this change of thinking with my dh, a burden was really lifted. If my dc didn't score as well on a standardized test, it wouldn't mean failure on my part or on their part. It would mean we had some things academically to work on, but it wouldn't mean homeschooling was a bust. However, if my dc have no faith in God, that means I am failing, they are failing, and homeschooling is failing. This was a huge change of heart for me!, and it has done wonders for me to be able to relax and enjoy homeschooling more!

I was so academically focused to begin with and over the last couple of years, God has really dealt with me on this. HOD has been such a blessing for me since it is God-centered and academically sound. The more we progress in HOD, the more God shows me how important these lessons that He is teaching us along the way are the important ones not the academic stuff.

Like you, lovetobehome, I was worried about the tests and concerned about how it would reflect on me. I am thankful that my dc did well on their first testing last year, but I realize it's possible this won't always be the case. I pray that God will keep my heart and yours strong and our eyes focused toward Him. I prayed Shelly's beautiful prayer too. Be encouraged!

Praying for you and your dc! I really think all will be well. It is inherently more efficient to homeschool than to be in a class of more than 20 other children who only have one teacher.

I prayed for you today!
In Christ,
Julie

I just wanted to thank everyone who is posting. It has been so helpful to me. My daughter will be tested on Thursday, and I am trying so hard to keep a peace over it. The last 2 weeks I was in a panic. SHe isn't doing so well on the test prep books, and I am having to face the reality that she isn't going to test brilliantly like her big brother does. I have gone through anxiety over thinking I have taught her all the wrong things, guilt over thinking I have not taught her anything well nor spent enough time with her, and then of course the pride issue in myself....that my homeschooled child isn't going to blow the public school test out of the water (as her brother does). Lots of heart issues for me. I tried to take this weekend to reflect and to be calm. I want to go into this week without stressing either of us. I can't do anything more at this point to help her master concepts. I just have to review the things we know, and let the cards fall as they may. The WORST thing I can do is make her feel anxious about it, and I am going to try not to do that. You can all pray for me!

I am ready to have it done with, and go back to teaching the way I had planned. In the last couple weeks, I thought maybe I should keep up with what the schools are doing so I don't feel this way next year. But now I am back to where I was when I began this journey of homeschooling so many years ago. I am going to teach her using the curriculum I feel is best for us, at the pace I feel is right for her. Eventually, she will learn what she needs. It may not be the same material or pace as the schools, but that should not matter to me. I don't look to the schools as a model of excellence, LOL.

I am trying to keep perspective that God has a plan for her. God blessed me with the privilege of training her up for Him. He has equipped me to teach her what she needs, and He is guiding me. He has a purpose for her to fulfill, and it may not require her to test perfectly. If I try to take back all the control and put it on myself, I am a basket-case. If I keep my eyes fixed on Him, and training up my children to serve in whatever capacity He sees fit, then I am able to relax and enjoy this ride.
If I get all the academic stuff done, but make it drudgery in the process or ruin her self-esteem, then what have I accomplished? Of infinitely greater importance is her knowing the Lord, trusting and serving him, and also the relationships we have in our home.
Thanks so much, I appreciate the prayers and encouragement. I needed it more than you know. I am thankful, truly, for the prayers of my sisters in Christ!

How'd it go today?

Awww...so sweet to remember us!
I am just so glad the pressure is off, it is over. Everyone left happy, so that is good. I saw my daughter's scratch paper and saw a lot of mistakes. I asked her if she checked her work like I had drilled her to do, she said she checked 2 problems.
But, it is done! THANK YOU to everyone who prayed for us!

I'm glad it's over! Maybe it's a good time to get a hot cocoa or some ice cream with little sweetie? And celebrate being done with it! Testing is not my favorite thing either, nor my children's. But it does seem to get easier, especially once they understand how to manage their time within testing, and also once they can learn the art of making some educated guesses when they don't know the answer. These are definitely skills that come along much later though, so for now, I guess what will be, will be - but it's done for another year.

In Christ,
Julie

Got the results today!!! It was better than I expected! I will share details later, but I wanted to let you all be the first to know since you were praying for us! She did great in Language and Reading, fabulous. Math she was lower in, but not terrible, and I feel confident she will catch up with TT math. She had used MUS before, and I have read kids who use MUS tend to test low early on, so no surprises there. Science and Social Studies were pretty low, but I haven't taught her using HOD and I have not done anything but ancients and some science that does not relate at ALL to testing material.
More soon! Thanks so much for praying for me!

Wonderful! I am so happy to hear that all turned out well. God is good, all the time!

HOORAY! I'm so glad for you and for your dd! This is happy news.
In Christ,
Julie