heartofdakota.com

As I find my family in a season of life where we learn we have not just one child with "special needs" but two, I am so thankful for Heart of Dakota. Those of you who know me know that I am a die hard HOD fan. We never question what we will use. In fact as some of my children go beyond the "target age" we still use HOD because hands down even with beefing it up it is the best fit and the absolute best for our family. I have long known that one of my children has cerebral palsy. That is an easy one very clear cut once you go through what you need to to get a diagnosis. But now we find our very bright son who really has no issues with academics what-so-ever has manifested something we did not know was there. We are getting a "label", diagnosis of possibly bipolar. Regardless of whether this sticks or not is not the issue. I now find that what I thought was good training to help him "cope" with change and flexibility was not "good" for him. I started this year of school late because we ended the other late. I made a decision to start with the things we always missed and then roll with HOD since we know it works. We were having issues with our son and that decision was one I thought would be good for him. It turned out to be a bad one and one that ultimately was I think the straw that broke the camels back for him. I tell you this because in this what I realize is beyond our love for HOD we need HOD. HOD's programs work in a predictable pattern. Things progress in a pattern. They increase in level and difficulty in a pattern. It's predictable for a kid who needs structure and I had no idea how much my son held onto that until this year.

As I now meet with several counselors and psychologist the issue of how does is school work has been addressed over and over. Some of this questioning by those who agree with homeschooling and some by those who especially for a child with an "issue" or "special needs" favor schooling by "trained professionals". But when I tell them and show them how HOD works not one has said anything other than praises. Even those who question homeschooling have advised us not to change a thing but rather to get started back with HOD as soon as possible because that is exactly what he needs. We have apparently in HOD exactly what they would recommend in terms of order and predictability that a kid like my son needs. And unfortunately when I tell them what I did this year sort of starting with the wild cards that "never get done" they all agree that was a "trigger" for him. They also agree that my son in particular needs a challenge, he needs something engaging because he is really smart (I can say that because we adopted him and it is not my DNA that made him this way ). So in essence I have to make many changes in my home and the way I deal with my son to help him but what an incredible blessing it is that I have to make no changes in our school, none. It is absolutely perfect, it is enough and it will challenge him yet not overload him with confusion he does not need. This is huge because our goal is to help him cope with his differences without medication if possible. Who knows what the future will bring and if we find medication is necessary for him then we will walk down that path but it is great to know that what we love, what has blessed us, gives us the best chance to accomplish this goal. God had led us where we needed to be for all our children even before He showed us all the reasons why. I personally thought the way it blessed us was enough but He had more for us down the road.

So I just want to encourage people who have smart children who need to be challenged but still need structure there is nothing better than HOD. Nothing. I have never been more thankful for HOD than I am now. I have six children using HOD. I literally have just about all ranges in capability and intelligence going on with my children, from those that skipped years to those that were held back years. All are using HOD and it is perfect for all of them. And truly all of them have stories about how HOD has really helped them to grow spiritually in their walk with the Lord. Never will I question, never will I change. This is where God blesses us and I just share this in case someone is struggling with a decision because they have "special" kids. Hopefully this ramble will help someone decide. I apologize for it being sort of all over the place. I am severely lacking in sleep and sort of running on prayer these days but just wanted to share this in case it helps someone.

I enjoyed your post. I have 2 with special needs at home now and 2 more (adoption) on the way. My 9 yo who is on the autism spectrum absolutly loves HOD. He has never liked school or schoolwork before this year. My 5 yo is very bright but has ADHD and he is flying through LHFHG and also loving it. He maybe identifies a little too much with Reddy Fox though, lol.

I also Loved your post. Altho for RAD reasons My dd1 is in p/s school, I have great hopes of bringing her home next year. I've seen so much improvement though her Nuro therapy that I'm beginning to look forward to it. Your post really encouraged me. We have triggers here to One of which is sharing school time with sister.. eep!
Now go get some sleep take care of your self so you can take care of those kiddos!

Thank you for this encouragement. I just had dd tested by the psychologist at our ps because she has been having so much struggle in her reading. Although much of her reading issue could be a vision problem, she did not test strong in any area of reading, writing, or math. She was average in Letter-Word Identification, but everything else was low average, borderline, or deficient. Her math skills are worse than her reading skills. DD had CP and problems with her eyes. Even knowing there are issues because of vision, I have always known that there were areas of processing difficulties. In short, the report from the psychologist leads me to believe that she may just always be slow to learn certain things. He said her weaknesses in spatial reasoning, motor skills, and math may be related to the brain trauma. I am meeting with a reading specialist and the psychologist next week. I am also going to begin Rocket Phonics to give her multi-sensory activities which may help her reading skills. I think it will be a good while before she is in the ER books, so I needed something that would give her a variety of activities while learning to read. The math, I guess I just need to take it slow.

I, too, love how HOD builds in each guide. I think dd will also benefit from that approach. I can't imagine trying to teach her from textbooks. If the academics come slow, so be it. I know she is really taking in the Bible, and that is most important. So, I'm die hard HOD as well, and this post concerning children with special needs is exactly what I needed to hear.

rainsong wrote:He maybe identifies a little too much with Reddy Fox though, lol.

Hahahahaha! I can Identify with him quite a bit myself! And I just want to say bless you for adopting more children with special needs! My heart has been broken thinking what would have happened to my son and my daughter in an orphanage with these issues.

Just wanted to also say that I know we all do our best and make the best decisions for our children as individuals. For some children and some families there are times when ps is what is best for them. So Tansy especially I know you are a GREAT mom and ps is where God has your daughter. Wanted to make sure you all are not feeling like there is any judgment in my post. Nobody can know what is best for another family. God has really humbled and pruned me in that area lately. We all need to do what is best for our kids and support each other on what God has shown us as individuals knowing He does not send emails to us all on each others lives.

Judged ooh never by you w2w!

I'm at a cross roads tho I can see p/s and Nuro therapy has helped MY dd soooo much But is she ready to bring home? That is the question. And since she occupies huge chunks of my time when she is home h/s DD2 really helps even things out. God knew what he was doing I like NOT having a argument daily with my Little one. But God has been really showing me she might just be ready to pull at the end of this year. The 5th grade work may be over her head next year. She is already struggling in Language Arts and Math And the necessity of passing those TAKS tests may cause to much emotional junk. We'll see what God has in store for us.

I really struggled with the decision but it was the best one for that time.
Huggles
Tansy

Thanks for this post. I too have just realized that my ds with CP actually has more going on than I thought. I always thought his writing challenges were due to his tremor in his hands. I have now realized he actually has dysgraphia and does lots of letter reversals. Not your typical b for d, but he writes almost all his letters from bottom to top and this is considered a reversal. The amazing thing is he is making slow improvements and so far is not overwhelmed with school. I am sure that if we weren't using HOD that he would be extremely overwhelmed. He also is a kid that likes predictability, maybe because he can't predict which days his tremor will be the worst, but he always can count on HOD to be something he knows he can deal with. I love how it doesn't expect huge steps all at once, but goes in little steps. This alone has allowed him to be successful. Also HOD is easy for me to modify how he does the assignments. If he needs to type or dictate it is no big deal. I love that.

Lynn that is wonderful! I love how you really can custom fit easily. I saw similar things with my dd with CP as well. Copy work and dictation has really helped. Sometimes there have been great leaps and sometimes I wonder if we are ever going to get there. The methods in HOD really help.

Tansy, praying for that decision. It is hard sometimes to see where He is leading. When I pulled my dd out of ps He really had to hit me over the head to show me the direction He had for us and even then it was hard. Praying He will give you clear direction either way. And the stuff comes out either way. Praying he will help your dd be healed and cleansed from her path so that it will all be to His glory. I have had some that dealt with it younger and some older. I think in the long run as much as you can get them to deal with when they are young the better it is later down the road. My child that gave me the biggest worry early on, the one I was sure would have the biggest issues is really doing the best with teenagedom and all that because she dealt with a huge portion when she was young. In hindsight it all makes sense but who ever knows when they are waling through it. Thank God he goes with us. And thank you for knowing my heart.

W2W,

I've been wondering where you were? I'm praying for you and your family and eager to hear more of your journey.

Take care.

Praying for all of you who have "special needs" children that the Lord will guide you and give the grace that is needed in making decisions.

These posts just show what I already know to be true... God chooses carefully who He will have care for dc with special needs. As evidenced in this thread, He surely chose very wisely when He invested these dc in your care. I am praying for each of you on this thread, and I am also applauding your deep love for your dc. They are so blessed to have you for their moms! I pray for continued strength and guidance from the Lord, and I also play for HOD to continue to be a blessing and a help to you.

Love in Christ,
Julie

deltagal wrote:W2W,

I've been wondering where you were? I'm praying for you and your family and eager to hear more of your journey.

Take care.

Thank you Florence! And thanks for missing me. I am back.

water2wine,

This was a very helpful post. I appreciate the time you you took to type out your thoughts and to share them with us! Each family has a unique situation, yet together through this board we can often find someone like us who can help us in the very situation in which we find ourselves. It is such a blessing to be able to come together, uplift one another, and help one another as we seek to honor the Lord with our lives.

I will remember you and your family in prayer as the Lord equips you to mother the children that He has chosen to place in your care. He knew what He was doing when He blessed them with you!

Blessings,
Carrie

Just want to tell you that you have blessed me with this post.
You are a treasure to me!
Linda

I continue to ponder this post. W2W you've shared so many good things in there that I think are relevant for all of us. I'm struck by how structure or "lack of" can be a trigger. It's certainly a trigger for me and for my children - affecting eating, moods, quality of work, etc. The presence of structure and routine gives us tremendous freedom and enriches our day to day life. I'm going to keep pondering this.