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Hi all,

We're in the midst of a delightful conversation with our oldest about responsibility. And as part of the process, I'm trying to pull together a bullet list of "what responsibility looks like". I'm interested in knowing what YOU would include.... Here's my start:

I am being responsible when I:
*get up and begin my day independently without depending on others to wake me up
*pursue a balanced life - taking time for spiritual, mental, personal and physical endeavors
*seek ways to bless my home and family by doing extra chores, spending time with my siblings, etc.
*am intentional about completing all my school work in an excellent and timely manner and taking the initiative to do extra work in areas that are lacking
*am mindful of how my choices affect every member of my family and am appreciative of all my family does for me

Hey Ang,

Thanks for the thoughts. We too have/had guidelines, but I'm realizing that my oldest is in a different season/stage and asked me recently if we could be more specific with him. We keep saying he needs to be more responsible to earn certain priviledges and his comment most recently was, "I'm doing everything I can think of can you give me a list!" And I said, "Sure."

I would be excited IF my son asked for a list! And as far as your list goes...it looks GREAT to me. We do something similar that is based on honor...but yours is much clearer than ours. So, I have to thank YOU for the great ideas.

I LOVE your list. I think the only thing I would add is something about doing chores without being asked and showing work that needs to be evaluated and corrected. I think your list is very reasonable. My 13 year old daughter does your list pretty well just for reference. The things that I sometimes have to remind are the ones I listed. I love also the idea of painting the complete picture of what it looks like. Great job!

Great list! I'm going to print it to have on hand for timely discussions. I love that it IS very reasonable.... but I can say we are not there yet. My oldest would still rather grab a book of his own choosing to read as he waits for other things to happen even though he should know better and save it for later. (Sigh, I can't complain though.... don't we secretly love it when our kids get in "trouble" for reading? )

Thanks for sharing your thoughts about this!

ETA: I just thought of one that would be helpful here.... The oldest is responsible when he limits his freedoms for the sake of younger brothers and sisters. (For example if he's the only one up I might allow him to eat a snack in the family room when I would not otherwise - so he generally knows that's not a right he has all the time. Or, if he finishes lunch before them and wants a sweet treat, he should wait until they have finished theirs to ask or get it so as not to tempt them before they are finished....)

This is a wonderful list! One thing you could add is something about the concept of "seeing work" or "seeing what needs to be done" and doing it without being asked, without expecting to be noticed, and without wanting a reward for it. We've been talking about this concept a lot with our oldest ds, as I view it as a part of becoming more mature and of becoming a man. Rather than waiting to be told what to do, see what needs to be done, and do it. He raked the yard yesterday on his own. He's really starting to understand this concept and is beginning to like the independence/maturity it encourages.

In Christ,
Julie

SOOOO Many good thoughts here everyone. Thank you. I'm going to work a little more on my list and I'll post back...