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We started our first day in Preparing with my 4th grade son. We did English first, there was whining in the first 15 min. The lesson was picking which of two pronunciations was the correct one for a word. He is stubborn and pronounced mechanic both wasy even though I reminded him that pronunciations were phonetically. Anyway, the timer went off so it was time to move on to the next subject. He was stuck on finishing English. I had told him beforehand that we were going to use the timer and if he worked diligently even if we weren't finished we'd be done for the day and if he dawdled then he'd have it for homework.

I was so mad, I printed out the registration for our public school which starts Wed. We're thinking of putting him in ps for 5th or 6th grade anyway, this would just be early. He's a very smart boy and I think he would do fine.

But why does he challenge me and push my buttons when he wouldn't do it for anyone else?

I also said in the beginning of the morning that there would be nothing with a screen until school was finished. We're only doing half days this week too!

I'm asking God to show me what he wants me to do. I truely felt called to hs in the beginning. I still think I do but not if everyday is a battle. He hates math and English, he's pretty good about all the rest. He liked the drawing today and the shield making. English and math are not negotiable! I feel like if we can get past this seeing how far he can push me and not do his work we will be fine.

You all gave me some great advice this summer when I asked about this. I really thought the timer would be good. We didn't do math today though, we'll do it tomorrow and I will use a timer for that and see how it goes.

More. For some reason when I fill the window it gives me trouble to type more.

So, what am I supposed to do when he doesn't want to work or whines about it and plays dumb? Last year I sent him to his room and told him he could come out when he was ready to work, it worked once and other times he would stay up there for an hour and read.

I don't exactly want to punish him but I guess I need to make him sit on the couch with nothing to do. I don't want to waste my time. We should be able to start at 9am and be done by 1 or 2:00. The first day is not supposed to go bad.

It did go really well with dd though with LHFHG.

I even said to ds (calmly) "I cant' teach you if you won't let me".

Help me!

Oh! one more thing. What do you think about incentives/bribery? We had an idea that if he did English and math with no balking for 5 days I'd take him to Riteaid and he could pick out any candy he wanted. He loved the idea. Was thinking if it works I could make it longer and something bigger like going to Monkey Joes. I hate to do it when he is totally capable just doen't want to. But then again I'd love to have an incentive for a job I didn't want to do too.

I can't offer much advice, as my little guy is just in K and I haven't had to battle the tougher guides yet, but I will pray for you and your family. Have you tried starting with something he enjoys and then moving on to the harder stuff? I do this sometimes to "ease" mine into the day.

As far as enrolling him in ps, I would just pray about that and think of the reasons you chose to hs in the begining. It's a big decision, just try to stay positive.

Last year we started with our history reading first. He does want me to read to him at breakfast. I want to get English and math done early in the day though since he balks at them. Or maybe I could do 2 subjects he likes then English, then 2 other likable subjects then math.

I dont' want to feel pressure abuot putting him in ps Wed when it starts. I do'nt HAVE to put him in on the first day. I did think about ps this spring though. I could give it a week and see.

Katherine,

I have one who pushes my buttons in the same way, so I understand. It is so tough when you feel your child does not want to learn from you...we are actually there right now. However, I would really think about what ps is about, how it's different from homeschooling, and whether those are differences you want to deal with. He may LOVE ps and do great...lots of people make that decision and things go well. Just pray as a pp recommended and don't try to rush into it just so he can start the first day. I would say give Preparing...a good chance. Many times our dc do like to test us. Our days have gone really long before due to the same kinds of issues....we keep waiting here for our child to 'get' that if the work is done diligently, with the best effort from the beginning, then the day goes much more smoothly and quickly. As frustrating as it is (and believe me I've considered that 'Big Yellow Bus' quite a few times), I know for our situation ps, or private school for that matter, would not make things better....we would have to deal with the same issues, just after school and we would have less time to work on them. I will pray for you too, and you keep praying as well. Maybe you can give it a month and see where you all stand then? He is probably trying to see what you'll do...don't give up just yet. If God called you to this then He will get you through...I am standing on that promise myself. Sending supportive hugs your way....

I sent you a PM

There is HOPE but I have to go make dinner now.

kiloyd wrote:Last year we started with our history reading first. He does want me to read to him at breakfast. I want to get English and math done early in the day though since he balks at them. Or maybe I could do 2 subjects he likes then English, then 2 other likable subjects then math.

I dont' want to feel pressure abuot putting him in ps Wed when it starts. I do'nt HAVE to put him in on the first day. I did think about ps this spring though. I could give it a week and see.

I think this sounds like a good idea. Sometimes order of the day can change how things go. Maybe starting things a little slower might help as well. And this is a huge one for me. If you felt God called you to hs believe that. I would take ps off the table and just commit to take things a little slower knowing that it may take a little while to find your groove. We all hit walls and have days of frustration. I know if I had ps as an option I would have used it already. I am happy though that I took it off the table and that makes me focus on finding solution and believing with God's help there is a solution. I have to say besides my dd with learning issues my son was the hardest in the beginning to get to buy into hsing and how things were going to work. He is now the first to get going and I would say the most motivated to get things done. He still will hit a wall in math sometimes but he has learned to let me help him break it down instead of going to frustration. I think sometimes that takes time. Hang in there and pray. God is really faithful about answering how He wants me to teach my kids I find. That is always a prayer worth praying. Praying your days to come are pleasant.

I have not read the other posts. So forgive me if this has been said.

Start the day out with something fun! Something he likes. It gets him happy right off the bat.

Make drudgery subjects either after a large break or mingle them in with the subjects he likes. But don't start with a hated subject. Let him choose!

As far as the timer, it's a great idea. We use it, but I'm not bound by each minute. I'd tell him, "okay, I'll give you 3 more minutes to finish up" or tell him this before the timer goes off. Either way, give him a heads up or a few extra minutes.

Bribery...ah I mean...incentives work. My dd has to go 2 weeks or 5 days with a good attitude and she gets a prize. Dinner or movie pick, I have Littlest Pet shops she likes and they're cheap. But they have to be in a row. Same with getting 100%. She gets a game day instead of the regular bookwork.

If my dd doesn't want to do her work then she sits on the couch. Not in her room where she can play. Someplace I can see her do absolutely zero, zilch, nadda until she decides to change her behavior. Or sometimes I give her a nasty chore, like dig a tree hole is on the list, but we haven't resorted to that yet (we live in AZ. Good luck with digging. )

We don't do video games but she loves to watch her movies. Nadda. No tv till school is done and as of this minute, she has no tv till Wednesday. We prefer to watch as a family.

You can do this. You just have to know when to relax.
And by the way. We still have issues, but every year they improve.

Let me say that we had a lousy first week. We started slow though...half speed and it's gotten better.

I agree with pp--- cover it with prayer! The Lord promises to give you wisdom if you ask (see James 1:5-6, I think!) And then... start with the more "fun" stuff. I've decided that we're doing the whole left page 1st, so we get the "heart" of the program in the beginning and start the school day off right (focusing on the Lord and His word). Plus, it is just easier and more enjoyable. Then we go to the left page. I'm also using a points system to "bribe" ... to stop any complaining. A friend of mine did this, and it worked for her kiddos to have a better attitude. With this, you start them off with 10 points. Any complaint or disobedience means a lost point. They bank their points daily, and then at certain times a prize box will come out and they can "buy" prizes with their points. It does get them excited. And if they complain, you can "unemotionally" subtract a point. So I'm going to give it a try, too. It's just an idea, and we all have to find what really works for our kids.

Take care!

Our first day didn't go too well either. Actually we had struggles the first week. She thought certain things should be done like when she was in school for K. She can be very stubborn. If she would get an attitude where she refused to do her work, I sat her in a chair with nothing to do and told her to let me know when she is ready to work. I told her she is not going to waste my time acting like that, so I go away and do something else. It is hard to keep calm in those situations, but being calm and firm is important. It doesn't take long until she is ready to work. We are now into our 4th week in LHFHG and dd is doing well. We still have frustrating times, but it is mostly because of work that she struggles with.

Don't give up. Ps would have it's struggles too. If your ds would go to ps and not do well in Math and English, he could possibly be put in a remedial class. Would he be happy in that situation? Trusting the Lord will give you wisdom and direction.

(HUGS) My 9 yo boy is tough, too. He did the second day of Bigger today and our entire family started our new schedule. He had a meltdown about an hour into it. We were doing Bible and jumping jacks. Earlier, he had been wanting to slouch all the time showing that his heart wasn't right. DH was around for the meltdown and he set the boy straight. He had a much improved attitude the rest of the day. I'm so thankful that DH was there. I've had enough of struggling through school with him each year. I plan to be more tough and consistent with him than I have been in the past. We also have attitude charts for the kids. If they get a sticker, DH will praise them in the a.m., and if they don't get one, he will deal with that. DH works second shift so is gone from 2 pm-12 midnight. Our new schedule is set for the children to be free from 11 a.m.-1 p.m. and at least some of that time will be work or play with DH (Papa.) If 9 yo's daily work is not complete in the allotted school time (9-11 a.m. and 2-4 p.m.) then he is required to finish it during his free time the next day. He loves his Papa and wants to be with him so this is a great motivator for him! I'm also using the timer for some of his work. He loves learning, he just wants to be free to do what he wants to do basically.

Hang in there! If it is a true calling from God, it doesn't go away when the going gets tough! And believe me, I've been tempted to sign him up for school too, especially this year with a new Lutheran school opening 20 mins. away with free tuition!

I think you have been given some good ideas. I just wanted to give you some insight as far as the public school enrollment goes. My ds was in ps until last year and my dd came home this year as a 10th grader. The ps will not solve your problems. In fact it could be worse. Instead of trying to get him to cooperate in the morning when he is fresh and rested you will have to get him to do homework at night when he is exhausted. My ds is a very compliant boy, but when he was in ps he cried almost every night over having to do his homework. It was awful. I can't tell you how many times we had hours of crying and anger over just a page of math. It was all because he had done school all day and instead of getting to unwind all night he had to do more homework and by the time he was in 4th grade it was easily 45 minutes to an hour of work that he was expected to do.
So I agree just keep covering it in prayer.

We have been through this. I need to type at you later and don't know how to subscribe to a thread. I will be back later!

I am sorry your first day was so bad and that you find this child to be so challenging. How long have you homeschooled him? Which math program are you using? How about English?

My younger son doesn't like math...but when I introduced him to Singapore, I told him this was his "new" math and he got so excited about that that he forgot he hated math. He LOVES Singapore! LOVES IT!

My kids also know there are subjects that we just have to get through. They may not LOVE each subject, but they know their responsibility is to complete that subject with no attitude issues.

I personally think that rewarding a child for NOT complaining is counter-productive. He should be expected to not complain and he should have consequences should he decide to do so.

We started a school store to deal with bad attitudes. My kids start the week with a certain amount of money to "shop" on Fridays. They have certain rules to follow through the school day and they lose "money" when they break the rules. Really, by doing it this way, they determine the amount of their reward at the end of the school week. We have different items for different prices and the more money they have, obviously, the bigger the reward at the end of the week. In this way, they are really responsible for their actions and they suffer the consequences of their behaviors without me constantly punishing and threatening and sending them to their rooms. We put "marks" on the board and we move on. If the behavior doesn't stop, another mark goes up. Marks are money and they know it, so this speaks volumes to them.

Also, if you haven't been using HOD in the past, I would give your son some time to adjust and realize that it is FUN and not the same as maybe his last year was in homeschool. My kids love HOD and love seeing the books come out. They look so forward to their time with HOD that they will very happily finish the other stuff in order to get to the HOD stuff (by "other stuff," I mean math and english...even though it is HOD recommended, they enjoy the history, Bible, and Science the most).

Best of luck to you and keep praying. If God brought you to it, He will help you through it.

Thank you all for your replies.

We use A Beka math, but we didn't even do math today. We use the HOD recommended English, we're using English 3. He did really well with English 2 last year.

Busymama1, I really like the idea of the 10 tokens/tickets/points on Monday to shop with on Friday. I'll have to come up with prized and point value.

I do have a friend whos kids were in ps then she hs and now in ps again and they are all doing really well. My son sounds similar to hers in having meltdowns just because he doesn't want to do it and not realizing that actually doing it would take less time and energy than the meltdown.

Maybe I will sit down with ds tomorrow and list things he'd like to have to "buy" with his points. And also do what I did last year and have him pick the order of subjects. I will also write the amount of time each one should take.

I've been trying to tell him that if he gets his work done diligently and helps with chores I will have time to play with him more. My plan and prayer this year is to focus on my kids more and stay off the phone and computer!

I will put him on the couch too if he doesn't want to work and let him do nothing and not send him to his room.