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Preparing w/ 3 dc...1 can't keep up.

Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 1:21 pm
by Sue G in PA
Here is my dilemna...after only 2 days of school. Ds10 and ds12 are able to complete the work in PHFHG without any problems. They work efficiently and neatly (most of the time) and their comprehension is good. Ds9 is a different story. And I can't say this surprises me. I have to practically sit in his lap to keep him on task. So, his brothers will finish the assignment much more quickly than him and are ready to move on to the next part and get irritated when they have to wait for ds9. I've given each copies of the manual and instructed them to move on and work on other assignments independently but they don't want to do that either. What can I do? I know this is only the 2nd day, but next week I'm adding LHFHG with my ds7 and dd5 (I wanted to start one program at a time, kwim?) and will have even LESS time to spend hand-holding ds9. Any suggestions for getting him to focus an work diligently? Thanks.

Re: Preparing w/ 3 dc...1 can't keep up.

Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 1:28 pm
by GinainMD
Hi Sue. Could it be that PHFHG is too challanging for him? Has he done Beyond and Bigger already? Just an idea.

Re: Preparing w/ 3 dc...1 can't keep up.

Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 1:31 pm
by inHistiming
Well, I think if it were me, I believe I would get all of the things done that involve me as teacher first each morning. Any reading aloud, assistance with bible study or projects. This would also include going over any math, english, etc. with them. Then, I would instruct them to begin with their independent subjects (NOT OPTIONAL), knowing that I will need to be available to the youngest for help more than/longer than the older two. I understand that an older, quicker child can get irritated about having to wait...my kids never have liked doing that either. Having them move on to something else until I can work with ALL of them has helped a great deal. I've had to explain to my olders (more than a few times) that just as they need to be able to move on when they are finished, my younger child needs the time to 'get it' and must not be rushed by them. I'm sure others will be along with suggestions too, so hopefully something here will be of help. And keep in mind that once they all get used to the program things will move more quickly, even with the 'slower' child.

Re: Preparing w/ 3 dc...1 can't keep up.

Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 1:46 pm
by Sue G in PA
Thanks for those replies and suggestions. First, I don't think Preparing is TOO challenging for ds9, although it might be a challenge...does that make sense? I've been easy on him the past few years, so this year was going to be difficult for him anyway. I have 2 in LHFHG, a toddler, a 9th grader doing another program besides my 3 boys in Preparing...I just don't think I could do Bigger or Beyond...even though it might be a better fit. And, I simply cannot afford another curriculum. So, we are a bit stuck. I think I will try tweaking my schedule so that we do all Preparing stuff first thing and then I can send my other dc off to finish on their own while I work with ds9 a bit more. Ugh. Open to any and all sugestions!

Re: Preparing w/ 3 dc...1 can't keep up.

Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 2:31 pm
by Samuel'sMommy
I don't have any at that level yet, but I know there was someone on here that had 2 kids combined in a program (I'm thinking it was Preparing) and one of them was struggling so she kept one of them going at full speed and slowed the younger one down to half-speed. Would that work for you?

Re: Preparing w/ 3 dc...1 can't keep up.

Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 2:37 pm
by my3sons
I think it's very important for you to combine, as you have a large family and a lot on your plate, and I know this is an important year as you are homeschooling everyone now. :) So, first of all, I'm celebrating with you that for 2 of the 3, PHFHG is going great! :D You can (and should) feel so good about that. :) Second of all, I'm not surprised that your older dc are finishing PHFHG before your 9 yo. Those years between 9 and 12 are growing years, and a lot of growth happens. Typically what a 12 yo can do compared to what a 9 yo can do is pretty different. I think it's going to be important how this is handled, as you don't want your 9 yo feeling like he's not doing well just because he's not doing it as well or as fast as a 10 yo and 12 yo are doing it. When I think about what my ds was doing when he was 9 yo compared to what he's doing now that he's 10 yo, he's changed monumentally. :shock: So, I know it's tough not to compare and think why can't the 9 yo hang with it if the 10 yo is doing so well, but I truly do think a year can make a big difference. How does the typical day go? What is the 9 yo not finishing? Where does it seem like he gets behind? How are you handling the readings, and the independent boxes? For sure I think while the other 2 (or just your oldest) are/is doing their/his extensions and extension assignments, I'd help the 9 yo finish up what he needs to finish, making sure he doesn't feel bad about that extra time needed, as long as he's doing the best he can being 9 yo. I'll check back later, and we'll brainstorm with everyone! :D

In Christ,
Julie

Re: Preparing w/ 3 dc...1 can't keep up.

Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 4:48 pm
by water2wine
Agreeing with the advice already given but just wanted to add a bit. :D I had three in Preparing last year. Two of those three were very able to do all of the independent activities. One has cerebral palsy and is reading delayed and language challenged but quite capable of comprehending the material. I found having all three of them working together was not the way to go for us. It frustrates them and gave her an easy path when she would need to put more effort into understanding. :? I did very much like advised above, went through all the read alouds, got the quicker two going on math and saw if they had questions, then worked with the slower child letting her do the activity part after them. This way most of the time everyone got their own shot at it. If I looked and saw it would be a good one for them to do together then I had them do the activity first right after the read alouds together then went over independent work and discussed the activity or research. Working between those two ways worked well for us. It eliminated bickering and they were able to finish their day pretty easily and regularly. :D I am hoping this makes sense and is helpful. :D Hang in there sometimes it takes a few weeks to figure out how to best work things out for all of them when one needs a little extra help. :D

Re: Preparing w/ 3 dc...1 can't keep up.

Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2010 9:34 pm
by Sue G in PA
Thanks ladies. Julie, I agree that Preparing has been a success so far! :D I am thrilled actually with how well the past 2 days have gone. I knew my schedule would require tweaking and so I am not upset..just wondering how to make it all work, kwim? And, I am a bit concerned about next week when I add my 2 youngers. As it is, ds9 is proving himself capable of doing the work. He is just a bit slower and less focused (that is typical of him, btw). I do not want him to "ride the coatstrings" of his older brothers. Ds12 is already complaining that he answers most of the questions during History Readings or Bible time and that ds9 doesn't pay attention or answer any questions. That is not true b/c I address each child independently when asking questions as not to have ds12 answering everything. Perhaps I will have to work with ds9 separately. But where do I find the time? Ds12 at first wanted to do is work independently and so I made up a weekly schedule for him along with photocopies of the guide for each week (one week at a time :) ). Then, he complained when I told him he could work ind. and not have to wait for us. He is the one who does NOT want to be homeschooled anyway...something he reminds me of every.single.day. :cry: Anyway, thank you all for your suggestions. I think as the days progress we will fall into a rhythm and things will go more smoothly. We have completed MOST of our boxes each day which is a blessing. Not sure how we'll find time to do Spanish but...

Re: Preparing w/ 3 dc...1 can't keep up.

Posted: Wed Aug 25, 2010 8:28 am
by my3sons
I'm glad you're happy with the way it's going overall! :D That is worth celebrating, but also I know how that hurts a mom's heart to hear comments like your older ds is making. :( I'm sorry for that, Sue. I know others who have taken their dc out of ps and brought them home to homeschool at a later stage may be able to help you with some ideas about how to handle that part of this, but it sounds like that's adding some stress to the situation (I know you knew it would already from pp's, but still... hard to hear :( ). I do think it's important not to let the older ds make negative comments about the younger ds (even if they are true), as this is not the brother's role. You can tell I've had that conversation with our dc, can't you? :wink: I've had to pray about this myself and ask forgiveness. :( I would be in prayer about whether it's best for your oldest to just be independent, or to have him be a part of the group. I don't know what would be best there, but the Lord does. If you reflect upon the days in prayer, and come to the conclusion it would be best to have the oldest ds on his own, I'd enlist dh's help, and have a private conversation with just your oldest ds, your dh, and you to explain it to him. He does need to understand that having a poor attitude in school - whether at ps or homeschool - is not acceptable. Making disparaging comments - about school or siblings - isn't either. I know that it would be jumping the gun a bit, but your dh may want to go through the "Boyhood and Beyond" book with just your oldest ds. It is outstanding! I think it gets to a boy's heart. Here is a link to it, under the Choices: Boy Option of RTR, and if you click on it, there is a good description of it:
http://www.heartofdakota.com/rtr_hearts ... ckages.php

One practical idea for the answering questions thing would be to have a blue bead, a red bead, and a green bead (one color for each child) in your pocket. Draw one out to choose who will answer each question. After the question is answered the bead can be returned to your pocket, so some dc may answer a lot one day, and some not, but they are apt to listen well knowing they could be called upon anytime to answer, and just because they answered once, that doesn't mean they may not be called upon again (this is a CM type idea used for choosing different dc for narrations). :D HTH!

In Christ,
Julie

Re: Preparing w/ 3 dc...1 can't keep up.

Posted: Wed Aug 25, 2010 9:24 am
by Sue G in PA
Great ideas Julie. Thank you again. Today, ds10 asked permission to complete his work on his own. :o He is quite capable and so I copied the manual for him as well. I told the boys that if they proved that they could get all their work done by the end of the day that I would let them be independent...except for storytime which is done with Daddy at night and Reading about History and Bible which I like to do together in the morning. Everything else seems doable. What do you all think? That gives me time with ds9 to guide him through and take our time...adding in the youngers next week. That does mean tweaking my schedule a bit more, but that's okay. And, I love the bead idea. Terrific!