heartofdakota.com

Join me in praying that if it is God's plan for our children that my dh would be sold out on hsing. He has been agreeable for the past 4 yrs we've hs'd but is still not sold out on it.

I told him today I'd like to continue and if so I need to order curriculum soon. He said he'd think about it.

I'm going to tell him I feel called to hs and also ask what it is about public school he wants ds to have. Mabye we can compromise and I can find other things. We've only lived here for 1 yr too so it takes time to build strong friendships, especially up here in New England!

I know that only God can change his heart.

Thanks

That is so very hard! I went through a really rough time trying to convince my dh to allow me to hs. He now is mostly supportive. I'll pray for you.
Laura

Praying now.

I would start putting by a little money for hsing next year right now. If he's anything like my husband the cost of it is an issue. If you have some money already saved up maybe that would be one less thing against it. I will pray about it for this year though.

Thank you for the prayers, it means a lot! I don't know why it is that it is more often men that are skeptical about hsing.

DS's CAT scores are average and above average, he's well socialized. DH wants him to have more friends, um, he's only 9 and entering 4th grade. Not many 3rd graders have a bunch of friends they hang out with.

Praying for your husband to follow God's plan for your precious children.

As encouragement to you, I remember having that same prayer for my own husband several years ago. I can honestly say that I saw God change his heart and he is "sold out" for it now, and for following God's will for our daughter. It could only be God!!!

Heather4Him wrote:Praying for your husband to follow God's plan for your precious children.

As encouragement to you, I remember having that same prayer for my own husband several years ago. I can honestly say that I saw God change his heart and he is "sold out" for it now, and for following God's will for our daughter. It could only be God!!!

Thank you for the encouragment and prayers. I need to trust fully that God can and will change his heart if it is what God wants. Look that we've hs'd for 4 yrs! and dh was really not for it in the beginning.

Keep the prayers coming!

praying

Praying for your DH and that God would do more than you can ask, think or even imagine!

I will also pray for you and him.

I think it's a good idea to try to get to the root of why he prefers public school. I was the one who resisted homeschooling when our daughter was in preschool. Dh kept asking me to homeschool and muttering vague bad things about public school. (He teaches 2nd grade.) I finally had to say, "What? What is so bad about it?" The main answers were, it's not Christ-centered (of course, I knew that!), our daughter would not be able to learn at an advanced pace, and the other students will have more influence on our daughter than we will. During this conversation, dh also asked me to pray about it and research it for a year. (He knows me well. I love to buy books and learn about new things.) He did not want me to start and stop quickly, so he wanted me to be committed.

Anyway, all that is to say, I think if it happens at the right time and with the right demeanor a probing conversation can be very beneficial.

yes, I need a probing conversation. His reasons are mostly social. And he now wants him to have friends in town and more of them. He's only 9! and going into 4th grade! I bet if he had another close friend or two my dh would be happier. He only has one friend he hangs out with now. He's 9, he's supposed to be with family!

I need to not tell dh all my reasons and have that probing conversation to find out what he wants.

Thank you so much for the prayers

sw1ssm1ss wrote:I will also pray for you and him.

I think it's a good idea to try to get to the root of why he prefers public school. I was the one who resisted homeschooling when our daughter was in preschool. Dh kept asking me to homeschool and muttering vague bad things about public school. (He teaches 2nd grade.) I finally had to say, "What? What is so bad about it?" The main answers were, it's not Christ-centered (of course, I knew that!), our daughter would not be able to learn at an advanced pace, and the other students will have more influence on our daughter than we will. During this conversation, dh also asked me to pray about it and research it for a year. (He knows me well. I love to buy books and learn about new things.) He did not want me to start and stop quickly, so he wanted me to be committed.

Anyway, all that is to say, I think if it happens at the right time and with the right demeanor a probing conversation can be very beneficial.

I totally agree with you that a 9 year old does not need some extensive group of friends. Also, I think you posted about the friend thing a while ago and it sounded like he already has a number of opportunities to be around kids his age. Honestly, I *really* don't think a kid would make friends in public school faster than they would by doing things like sports, church, Boy Scouts, whatever. So I agree with you on that point.

I wonder how your husband's childhood was? Lots of friends? I know that I resisted homeschooling because I used to like going to school! I loved September! As an adult and a homeschooling mom, I think that I liked that school was more structured than my home. My parents were Christians and most of my childhood was great. But certain things were... uncertain. Schedule? Organization? Mom schooling me and not being on the phone? So I basically refused to be homeschooled. (My mom tried it for a year or so with me. She was more successful with my brother and sister.)

As an adult, I still have some good associations with elementary public school. I sometimes focus on those and create a vision in my mind that public school could be like that for my kids. However, there were some *serious* issues. I was in the gifted class in a *good* school in a *good* district, and yet I was bullied (not physically) by somebody the gifted teacher adored and that person's friends. I was hypersensitive and didn't figure out how to *not* cry until about 9th grade. Still hard sometimes, LOL! The stress snowballed until I often felt sick on school mornings. I stayed home and was magically better at 11 a.m. I was not faking! So my parents pulled me out of public school and homeschooled me for a while. You could actually call what my mom did unschooling, but I felt it wasn't 'real' school.

All that is to say, even with numerous bad experiences, I still wanted my kids to go to public school! Crazy! When I analyze, though, and count up good and bad experiences, I can see the truth, and I can see how we can get the goal that I see in my mind (real school! learning as a social experience! back to school shopping! ) in a homeschool setting. I also have a very social daughter and I can see ways for her to be social without being in public school.

I don't know if your dh is a numbers guy, but maybe you could have him sort of quantify how much time dh needs with 'friends'? (My dh wouldn't see a point in doing it that way, so I wouldn't ask.) Basically set a goal of "this many activities with kids his age per week" and "this many times per month to hang out casually with a friend." Then you will know what will seem enough to your dh. Also, maybe there can be benchmarks your son has to meet to get some of the social time. My daughter will drag her feet with school, but when I said she could go outside with a friend after she finished, she worked at lightspeed!

I will continue to pray.

Praying for you...I can imagine it is hard. I have one son, my almost 7 year old who was in Kindergarten last year at a Christian school and had a very fun year. He is not really thrilled that we are homeschooling this year, but I am trying to perk him up. My 9 year old son is ecstatic that we are, but the younger isn't so optimistic. I overheard him telling my uncle last weekend that he wished he could go back to school next year. That made me sad, but I understand. It is all he has really known, and he was like Teacher's pet! A top-notch student. Everyone made over him, how smart he was, etc.

Anyway, don't know really why I am saying that, but, I am praying for you with your husband. Praying for God's grace no matter what the decision, and for God's perfect will to be done in your life.

Tina

I wanted to give an update.

After talking with my best friend that knows me so well, I've realized that I would ask dh what it is about public school he thought ds would get that he wouldn't get at home. And also seriously think about hsing this year for 4th then sending him to ps for 5th.

So dh's answer was "interaction with other kids and socializing". Like AWANA, Sunday School, Cub Scouts, and sports are not interaction with other kids????? I also told him that I had thought about hsing this year and sending him for 5th or 6th grade. We didn't talk further, will talk more another day.

So, I'm thinking I can have this year ( I think dh will agree for another year of hsing) to prepare myself for sending him and for praying for more opportunities to meet others and get this interaction dh wants. I think we do plenty!

This past spring was a struggle with ds and I want to be sure I am not selfish and I do what's best for him, where he will learn the best. I don't know why he butts heads with me. he's very smart , as I've said in a different post, he's just stubborn and doesn't WANT to do work. So I can also pray about ds' and my relationship and tha I will stay firm and he will learn to do his work then he'll get playtime.

I just don't see dh as being a "all the way through hser". God can change him though.

I will update the next time we talk.

Keep yourprayers coming please!

Praying for God to touch your dh's heart!