Thinking of taking my son out of public school

Benelli · Post by **Benelli** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 9:09 am

I am new to the world of homeschooling, although I’ve thought about it on and off for a few years now. My son, who is 7 ½ and in 2nd grade, is what would be typically labeled ADHD in a public school setting. He has improved greatly with his ability to sit still in class this year, but still gets in trouble regularly at school for things related to being “wiggly” and “impulsive”. He would really enjoy being home-schooled, and I was planning to homeschool at least the oldest 2 of my children starting in the Fall. (We have 7 children, ages 4 mos. to 9 years.) I am a bit afraid of jumping in with homeschooling them all this Fall, as I will have a 4th grader, 3rd grader, 2 first graders, a Kindergartner, and a preschooler, along with the baby. We are currently praying about private Christian school vs. homeschool for this Fall. (The 2 Kindergartners and Jr. Kindergartner are currently in a local private Christian school, the 2nd and 3rd grader are currently in public school.) But, in the mean time, I have what might be a wonderful opportunity to “get my feet wet” in homeschooling.

My son’s teacher just left school on maternity leave last week, and for the remainder of the school year, the class will have a substitute teacher. School is in session through mid-June here (Virginia). Change is often hard for my son, although he seems to be doing alright with the new teacher. It has just been a couple of days though. Tonight, he asked if he could be homeschooled now because he’s tired of being “made fun of” by some kids in his class for being in trouble often. Also, his teacher who went on leave is the first one who seems to actually really like him, and his confidence this year has risen. (His Kindergarten and 1st grade teachers did not seem to really like him or work well with him, and his self-confidence the past 2 years before 2nd grade was very poor.) I’m wondering, is this maybe a good time to use the next few months to see what homeschooling is like, for both me and my son? I know it wouldn’t be the same as what life will be like teaching all 6 of them this Fall, but maybe it would at least give me some confidence. Or, even an idea of whether I feel I can do it at all?

What advice do you have for me? If I were to pull him from school, what would I actually DO with him for the remainder of the school year? I am looking closely at both My Father’s World and Heart of Dakota for the curriculum that I might use this Fall. Could I just start with one of them now? Which lends itself best to 1) teaching as many children as I have, and 2) being able to just jump in now for only a few months?

I really am excited and overwhelmed at the same time. I will be posting to both this board and the other curriculum’s board, so I can make a good choice. I really would appreciate your thoughts, as I have truly enjoyed reading all your wonderful advice for quite a while now!

God Bless!
Lisa

paliz · Post by **paliz** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 9:44 am

I don't know much about MFW but with how easy HOD is to just open and go I would think you could just jump in with it and go for the rest of the year. I can understand your delima with what to do next year. Unless VA requires it, you really don't need to do a whole for K, so it may not be as bad as you think. Also, you may (depending on their skills) be able to combine your 4th and 3rd and just tailor their LA and Math. So that would be something to think about. I'm sure others will have more to say.

water2wine · Post by **water2wine** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 9:51 am

I am short on time right now but I really wanted to reply to you. Welcome!

I have six kids and pulled my oldest four out of ps, three at the second grade level! And one of mine has special needs. She has Cerebral palsy, mild to moderate case. She is 10 does now thanks to Carries stuff later first grade reading and third grade math. I am able to read to her to be on the Bigger level. It is working wonderfully.

I will check back later but my heart just jumped out to you. I have been there and can I just tell you my one regret besides ever having them in ps was that I actually called Carrie when I pulled them all out I just felt like I could not pull HOD off for some reason. I was scared I could actually teach all my kids. I knew what she was saying really seemed right but it seemed too gentle on the one end and on the other was my fear I could not do it.

So looking back the absolutely best thing would have been to put them all in HOD. I could have had such an easier transition. This is the perfect program for large families and hitting all your kids needs and it is the most wonderful program for special needs. One other quick suggestion if math has been an issue as it was fort all my kids coming out of ps. Singapore may be OK if you start lower but we found R&S was wonderful for filling in all the holes with all the basic math they covered but did not get in ps.

Have to run but Welcome! And really look hard at HOD. I wish so much we had just gone for it in the beginning!

Tansy · Post by **Tansy** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 10:21 am

wow what a big decision!

dependin where your children place... http://www.heartofdakota.com/placing-your-child.php

Maybe you could do Little Hearts and Bigger (red book and green book) and combine your kids. I love the fact that this program is so easy to use. It really is open and go. Everything is planned out for you and all the pieces blend together well and reinforce each other.

As for what to do with him right now. is he behind in any way? maybe you could concentrate on those skills, and just review the others. Or not worry about it and start them on HOD now and toss the "School Year" out the window. The School year is logical if your a farmer, but if not... you don't have to be locked into that thinking. We do school in the summer to keep my kiddo's skills up.

As to the ADHD, Carrie's program is great for wigglers all the pieces are short and she has "get your wiggles out" stuff built right into the program. like tossing beanbags and hopping on one foot. ect.

As a side note have you tried to find out what in your child diet could be causing this? For me its Red Dye that makes me Hyper! Dairy triggers my DD into 3 hours of hopping on one foot, and Corn and Soy* causes my nephew to bounce off the walls. I know for us it tough to avoid dairy and my SIL has a terrible time avoiding soy and corn but if its a food trigger he will feel a heck of a lot better and he won't be AS distractable.
Some times it can be a parasite (*nephew can now have soy because they got rid of the parasite that was eating the soy and making him react)... Kids do eat dirt you know.

inHistiming · Post by **inHistiming** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 10:27 am

Benelli,

I think this would be an excellent time to 'test the waters'. If you feel you want to try homeschooling with just one child, to see how it goes, the HOD manuals are definitely pick up and go. I just started K with my youngest last week, because he was asking me every day to 'do school'. He's not quite 5, so we are going to go slowly to stretch LHFHG until the end of his K year next year.

I used BLHFHG last year for my daughter in first grade and she did great with it. She was a struggling reader, and she learned to read that year. Homeschooling was what did it I think, because she had one-on-one time. She and her brother were attending a private school, which we and they truly enjoyed, but I knew she couldn't get the time from her teacher that she would need to learn to read well. Pulling them out to homeschool was the best thing we could have done. God was telling us to do it, and He has rewarded us for our obedience.

Now, I only have 3 children, so I have no experience in trying to teach many children at once. However, there are several ladies that visit the boards who are using HOD with that many children. They say it is possible to use 2 and 3 programs and still have a life. I know using Beyond only took us about 2 hours to complete with one child, so by having the older children work on independent work while you work with the youngers, you could probably still have a relatively short school day. And they really do learn a LOT and enjoy learning with HOD!

Make sure you look at the placement chart on the HOD web site to see where your children might fall. That would give you a good idea about what and how many programs you might need. Carrie is very helpful, as well as all the ladies here, in making suggestions for what might work. This will also give you an idea about what it may cost you. Sometimes it seems like a lot of money to invest (although HOD is one of the MOST economical by far!) but it is so worth it, and cannot compare to what tuition in a private school would cost. We were paying about $600 a month, not to mention uniforms, for just two children. Plus, all the time you get to have with your kids; teaching them life skills, academics, God's word, playing games, etc. It's so awesome to be able to catch behaviors right away that you don't want, as well as compliment them on good ones, and to know that YOU will be the major influence, not another teacher or peers.

So, this turned out really long!

I hope some of what I had to say made sense. Good luck in your decision. I don't think you would regret homeschooling. I know some of the other ladies will be along to give you some more support and advice/suggestions before long.

Mom to 3 beautiful children.
DS 10
DD 8
DS 4.5
Wife for 12.5 years to an amazing husband!

www.trimtips.blogspot.com

netpea · Post by **netpea** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 11:15 am

check the placement chart first to see whether your 7yo should be in Beyond or Bigger. But you can start when you want. If you are going to take off the summer, you just pick up again in the Fall wherever you left off. The ladies here love to help, so just keep asking...

shera · Post by **shera** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 12:16 pm

I don't have any suggestions as far as combining children or what program in HOD to use but I would direct you to the placement chart that was linked earlier. Hang in there through the placement process that can be the hardest part. I would think and of course pray about combining the children if you think you will homeschool them all.

I can address HOD vs. MFW. I believe there are past threads asking this same question. Since your family is so large, I would seriously think whether or not you can regularly get to the library. MFW is a strong advocate of using the library. Now you can buy some of the books but you should know that up front. To me HOD is easier and more user friendly but I only used MFW K. I enjoyed K and it worked fine for me but HOD I think is really good for wiggly kids. HOD holds your hand a little bit more yet allows for tweaking within the program. For ex. HOD gives you the main point of the lesson called key ideas. With MFW you are just supposed to guess. HOD has activities to get kids moving with a purpose, such as tossing a ball while learning your memory verse. They also help to explain the verse and have the kids apply it.

If you pull him out now you can immediately start with either program as neither one is time specific. If you want to wait until the other kids are out of school, you could just do math and LA on his level. If you want to combine the kids this might be the best option that way your will be 3rd and 4th grader could be combined and be at the same point for history and science.

HTH
Sarah

susie in ms · Post by **susie in ms** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 12:24 pm

I am sorry that I only have a minute and I have not read the other post. I may be repeating so I apologize in advance.

I have only experience with the preschool version of HOD so I can't talk from experience with the other levels. I have owned (not used) MFW-K and have looked over samples of both curriculum of all the levels.

I think that you would still have the same problem with your ds getting into trouble at the privet school be cause he is wiggly. One thing that I have come to realize is that those wiggle children often turn into very successful adults if they are allowed to direct their energy. AND God made them that way-they are not defective.

My observations are that:
~as far as movement (your adhd child) HOD incorporates LOTS!!!
~as far as ease of use you will find that with MFW you will have to use the library a LOT. With HOD you will have all the books you need at your finger tips.
~HOD makes it easy to combine some children in one level where MFW does not.
~Carrie has the heart of a sevant and a love for the Lord that shines through her curriculum like no other!! (Purly my opinion, but it is there

)

Candice · Post by **Candice** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 1:19 pm

Hi Lisa,

Just wanted to welcome you

!

Candice

Kathleen · Post by **Kathleen** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 1:24 pm

Lisa,
Heading down the road to homeschooling is such a rewarding

and overwhelming choice!

But, as many of the other ladies have already said, when you are seeking wisdom from God and following Him down this road, you can't beat it!

I have been in your place looking into lots of different curriculums this year, too. (And HOD and MFW were my top choices.)

Here is why I chose HOD:
~It is Christ-centered! This is so important to my husband and me! The Bible and its wisdom is evident in every subject area as a way to evaluate everything...which is the way we want to raise them to think. (I also love that they sing and memorize God's Word.

) A little side note here...I got LHTH to use for preschool with my 3 yr old dd this year. I loved that it was totally based on the Bible. I figured I had time to cover what it didn't when we were done with it. But, it is very complete, and covers things much better than what I did with my ds, all while giving a great foundation on God's Word!
~It is user-friendly! I love my LHTH manual!! I did not use HOD this year in hsing my oldest and so wish that I had come across their program for him before this school year. I have used a combination of things for him that are not pick-up-and-go. We are eagerly planning to use Bigger this summer/fall.

~Time requirements...I've tried other curriculums that take way to much time to present.

I am loving the thorough set-up of HOD that doesn't take too much time for any one subject.

~Quality vs. Quantity Literature...I would say that I have previously thought that the more things your child can read through the better, but have changed my mind about that. I love the set up of DITHOR and storytime and history in the manuals! Reading slowly through good, living books is much better for learning.

I know other moms have mentioned the need to go to the library a lot for MFW. I live in a rural area without a good library close. I have a good friend that uses MFW and has to make regular trips an hour one way to go to the library. That does not appeal to me, but she gets it done.

Hope that helps some!
Kathleen

Kathleen · Post by **Kathleen** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 1:29 pm

One more thing...

My husband would love your user name. He loves hunting, and if money weren't an issue, thinks it would be great to have a Benelli Shotgun.

joyfulheart · Post by **joyfulheart** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 1:44 pm

I'm not going to get into the homeschool materials subject,beacuse this forum has that covered.

But I have a 2nd grader, with issues very similar to your son. He also has self esteem below the toilet level. It's like I spend all my time building him up, then he goes to school and it's BLOWN away in miliseconds. AARGH!

I have done a few things to help-- joining scouts was the best thing we could ever do for him. They work around his issues, give him goals and make sure he can accomplish them, that he has lots of praise, and a great level of support. He sees there is life outside of how he performs at his schoolwork. Also, I got the school counselor involved, asking for help with the teasing, and to raise self esteem any way possible.

Now, as far as the timing with the substitute? My first knee-jerk reaction is to yell PULL HIM OUT NOW!!! Is that the best solution? NO. I think you are right by thinking carefully and praying before doing that knee jerk reaction.

Substitutes are iffy. Sometimes you get a wonderful one that you wanna kidnap and keep in your home because you'll never find one as good as her. And other times you get something that you wonder WHY they are even around children!

There are opportunities to teach your son how to deal with people in different situations. HOWEVER, do you teach him this and sacrifice your son (and his self esteem) in the process?

And, I cant help but wonder-- is he using this as an excuse to just be homschooled BECAUSE he doen'st want to get used to a new teacher, and change is scary to him?

I'd watch him closely, talk to him about it. Explain that he IS expected to learn, have a good attitude, do lots of work (just like in school), even do reports and memorization-- all that stuff he'd be doing in school anyway. The only difference is you'll be the teacher, and he will be in a different setting.
*My son was convinced if I pulled him out, he wouldn't have any school, wouldn't have goals, wouldn't have to do anything. It's important that they understand your expectations from them.

If you plan on doing it anyway, than it's not too big a deal to do it now.

My best advice, after typing all this out (sorry!) is that you protect his self esteem as much as possible. If school is THAT bad, than you know what to do.

I pray God makes the decision clear!

blessedmomof4 · Post by **blessedmomof4** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 1:50 pm

Hi-I sent you a private message, Benelli, because I didn't want to get off-topic on the board.

Benelli · Post by **Benelli** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 3:02 pm

You ladies are so supportive and generous in sharing your time and wisdom. Thank you so much. Please, keep any and all thoughts coming, as I am pondering them carefully, fully appreciating them, and talking them through with my husband.

In response to working with the guidance counselor. Ben has been in separate "guidance" classes since 1st grade, dealing with self-esteem, making and keeping friends, etc. When it comes down to it, he is a super-friendly, loving, smart little boy who happens to be very impacted by what others think. He has asked me on several occasions before, "Why did God make me this way? Why couldn't I just be like other kids." Of course, I always tell him God has a special plan for him that his energy and "wiggliness" and inquisitiveness will be perfect for. Outside a classroom setting, people always comment on what a polite, respectful, articulate little guy he is. His trouble seems to simply be a "school setting" issue.

Anyway, HOD seems quite excellent from what I've heard and seen, especially for my large crew. We'll keep on praying, but I am about ready to go for it!

joyfulheart · Post by **joyfulheart** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 5:04 pm

Benelli wrote: "Why did God make me this way? Why couldn't I just be like other kids."

(I have a son named Ben too!)

You know what I tell my kids? God gives us these experiences to teach us. Teach us compassion, teach us that stubborn faith to persist and overcome difficult things. At some point in his life, he's going to be in a situation and be put a kid going through what he's going through RIGHT NOW. And he's going to know how they felt, he's going to know exactly the right things to say and to do to build them up and help them shine. He is going to grow up and make a difference in someone else's life. ANd this is God's way of preparing him for that wonderful gift.

One of my son's has lung disease. He tells people that he's going to use that pain and nasty stuff he goes through, to make it easier for other kids someday. He's going to make changes so they dont hurt.

My other son has LD"s. He's determined to talk to other kids with LD's and tell them theyre not stupid, that they just need to learn a different way.

It's something I try really hard to teach my kids. Everything in life is a choice. You can choose to believe those negative things, or you can choose to make something good from it, each and every day.

sorry, I don't post much. I try to keep the posts on topic (really I do!), but it hurts my heart to know a kids self esteem is hurting, and I've been there with my kids, and I hate that other kids go through that too.

Good luck!

heartofdakota.com

Thinking of taking my son out of public school

Thinking of taking my son out of public school

Wow! Thanks so much for the replies.

Re: Wow! Thanks so much for the replies.