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How do you handle ?'s
Posted: Thu May 13, 2010 7:13 am
by christina101902
Hello ,
We have kicked off LHTH and my daughter loves it; however, she has been asking why she can not go to school next year like her friends and cousins. The public school system here is well below state standards, for the last 3 years the elementary school has recieved grades of D- B-C , the middle/high F-F-D. So needless to say I am not at all happy with the idea of sending my child to a school that is struggling. The 2 private christian schools, one offers ACE program the other its own curriculum, are too expensive. But to a four year old these things dont amount to much, she thinks she will be missing out. Can anyone give me any suggestions as to how they handled questions from their little ones, to help them see that this is best ?
Thank you,
Christina
Re: How do you handle ?'s
Posted: Thu May 13, 2010 7:28 am
by Shawna
Hi! I am new to the HOD,but not to hsing. My kids are entering 9th, 6th, and 2nd grade, so we have dealt with this issue. The oldest one we started hsing in the 3rd grade, the other two have always been hsed...hence, the older one is the only one who ever questions why he has to always be home. Long story short, I just explain that #1, his daddy and I prayed long and hard about this decision.I had felt the Lord leading me a whole school year, before Dad got the nudge from Him. I think I needed that year to be soooo very sure and confident that it was God and not just me, on a whim. Sometimes parents have to go where God leads, regardless of total understanding:FAITH in action!!!! The younger two have always gone with the flow...but sometimes it comes up--we have ballet, baseball, church, neighborhood people, that always comment. My standard answer (& usually the kids are right there with me) is that the Lord let me to do it! I have never been so blessed as to help them learn all I can, and by the Grace of God, teach them our morals, standards and show them a life led by parents loving the Lord. I make it clear to the kids quite often that we are not perfect, but we are trying to live a Godly life...part of raising them, is to do so in an atmsophere that lends itself to knowing God...knowing He is the Creator--not the Big Bang....that he is a Healer, a best friend, and yes, sometimes leads us into the unknown!! I know that is not what u need to tell your 4 year old or however old the children are...but if you believe all that-and KNOW THAT YOU KNOW!!!! Then the answers for your child will flow!! You have to have confidence in the fact that God lead you to hs them and that you are doing the best you can do!!! That's all we CAN do!!! I know in my heart of hearts this is my calling...I have NO doubt!! And no, we won't teach them everything...but we will equip them in the ways of the Lord and He will fill in any gaps we make!! This isn't just about questions from your kids..but from questions of loooots of adults as well! They kinda go hand-in-hand!! Sorry if this got too long and rambly...but it's always been a big issue in our area!
Re: How do you handle ?'s
Posted: Thu May 13, 2010 9:04 am
by crlacey
For us, we just explained a few of the reasons we choose to keep her home.
We started with reading Deut. 6:5-9 and explaining that we couldn't obey that if we sent her away to school for 8 hours a day.
We then explained that because of our family situation (many military and missionaries in our family), it worked best to be able to school year round and take off to visit when family was in the area.
Our last reason was easy for her to understand and was a great reason for her to homeschool. We explained that we enjoyed our Florida (Disney) vacations in the winter (Jan-Feb) so much that we'd like to continue them, but couldn't if she was in school. That was the one she related to and accepted best when she was young. Now that she's been home for 2 years, she sees more benefits and loves being home. But it was tough when others were talking about riding the school bus.
Re: How do you handle ?'s
Posted: Thu May 13, 2010 9:52 am
by Tansy
My oldest goes to p/s and my youngest stays home...
One way I put it to her was home school has more free time. And since her sister has zero free time getting up at 6am leaving for school at 7:20am getting home at 3:30 chores from 3:30 to 4pm therapy from 4-6pm play time till dinner if chores are done (not usually) 6:30-7 dinner and bed time routine starts at 8pm... she took one look at that schedule asked her sister how much time did she get to play at school... (30min on tuesdays and thursdays) and she said "No way do I want to loose 8 hours of my day Mom!"
Re: How do you handle ?'s
Posted: Thu May 13, 2010 10:08 am
by HollyS
We've been very straightforward with why we are choosing to homeschool them. I've explained what school is like...lots of sitting around, recess for only a little part of the day, no praying or Bible stories/readings, little interaction with siblings and parents, learning at their pace instead of hers, etc. I guess some HS kids think all the PS kids do is have recess since that's what they see when they drive by a school.

I try not to make PS sound horrible, just in case they ever need to go, but I'm not going to sugar-coat it.
My oldest is a very social girl, so I make sure she spends some time around other kids. We live in a rural area, so there isn't much, but she goes to Sunday school each week, VBS in the summer, gymnastics, and as many homeschool events as we can make it to (which isn't very many). My DH is a pastor, so they also go to nursing homes and the ladies Bible study with us. These events are a big priority for us since she loves playing with other kids. My 2nd oldest isn't as social, but he's learned so much from being in social situations (he does all the same activities). I really think this has helped keep them from feeling like they are missing something.
Re: How do you handle ?'s
Posted: Thu May 13, 2010 12:14 pm
by girlboygirlboy
This has been our 6th year hsing and we had many of those questions in the begining. We explained to our children that in ps, teachers are not allowed to teach the Bible and we wanted to make sure they learned about God all throughout the day. We also just wanted to spend time with them and wanted their siblings to be their best friends because God had gifted us as a family. Once we started, and they saw the school buses coming home long after we were done with school, it just became what our family did and the questions stopped. I think it's also important to assure them, though, that they will have time to visit and make friends so at that age we did lots of playdates and activities.
Re: How do you handle ?'s
Posted: Thu May 13, 2010 12:38 pm
by mamanlait
Christina,
I'll be praying alongside others for you to have a peace about homeschooling that can only come from Him. I struggled with homeschooling...to the point of putting my poor dd in 3 different schools (all private) during her kindergarten year. The schools were excellent, high achieving ones, and yet I was still being nudged to pull her out and homeschool. I prayed for the first 4 months of her kindergarten year for God to reveal his plan for her (and me). I journaled my thoughts, concerns, and prayers. He did reveal to me his plan and comforted me. Next year will be our 4th year of hsing. I can honestly say that even during those long, hard days of being with my children full time, I have been given the blessing of feeling completely sure that what I am doing is right for my family. I don't believe this would have ever been the case if I hadn't gone through those intense months of questioning Him and praying for a resolution. I believe that with time and prayer you will know how best to respond to your children. As my reasons have changed over the years for homeschooling, so have my responses. First it was, "we are bringing you home where the kids aren't so mean to you" -- I know that wasn't very deep but dd was experiencing serious anxiety related to social interactions with peers. Now... it is, "God has entrusted you to me. I will be disobedient to Him if I don't teach you about Him as He has called me to". Obviously, and thankfully, my walk with the Lord has grown by leaps and bounds during this journey.
In His Love,
Amy
dd9 Preparing in Fall (Bigger grad

dd5.5 LHfHG in Fall (LHTH grad

Re: How do you handle ?'s
Posted: Thu May 13, 2010 4:05 pm
by Shawna
crlacey wrote:For us, we just explained a few of the reasons we choose to keep her home.
We started with reading Deut. 6:5-9 and explaining that we couldn't obey that if we sent her away to school for 8 hours a day.
We then explained that because of our family situation (many military and missionaries in our family), it worked best to be able to school year round and take off to visit when family was in the area.
Our last reason was easy for her to understand and was a great reason for her to homeschool. We explained that we enjoyed our Florida (Disney) vacations in the winter (Jan-Feb) so much that we'd like to continue them, but couldn't if she was in school. That was the one she related to and accepted best when she was young. Now that she's been home for 2 years, she sees more benefits and loves being home. But it was tough when others were talking about riding the school bus.
that's what we do too!! We have been in Oct, Nov, Dec, Jan,May...those months are so much better..the kids like that we can go then without crowds..because when the public schools are out in July, Aug and it's soooo scorching hot here, we are already on the School Wagon and can take off when we want! They do see that as a Blessing and Beneficial!! I agree with all the other posters about not being able to talk about the Lord freely at school...it's sad, but true.
Re: How do you handle ?'s
Posted: Thu May 13, 2010 4:41 pm
by Kathleen
We tell our kids that God says it's Mom & Dad's job to teach the kids he gives them to raise. So...mom & dad have to decide whether they're going to do it themselves or send them to someone else to do it. God leads each family in the way He wants them to go. And, for our family, we believe that He wants us to keep you at home to teach. We have so much more time to teach you about God and what He says in the Bible. And the other BIG perks for our family are that the kids get to see Dad when he happens to be home. There are days when he pops in and has time to play with the kids unexpectedly...or he's moving cows down to the pasture on the highway and if we throw a picnic in the truck we can come along, etc.
My oldest went to a Christian school for K and 1st. (K was only 3 days a week.) When he was in 1st grade, he knew we were planning on homeschooling, and was thrilled because he wanted time to play with his sister. He missed her when he was gone all day every day!

Now, he's Mr. Social and doesn't go anywhere without instantly making a friend. But he hasn't EVER complained about not going to school with friends. He LOVES to be at home, and every Tuesday this year while we were doing Preparing we prayed together during the Bible study...and EVERY time he thanked God that he was homeschooled so that he could be with his family and so that he could learn what is true and what God says in the Bible. (Let me tell you...that's a BIG encouragement to a mom's heart!

) And he sometimes prayed that his friends who don't get to be homeschooled would learn what was true, too. My little ones haven't ever missed it yet, but my oldest would tell them that they've got it better at home.

(And that's even with a good experience at school. The only thing he didn't like was being gone all day.)
I let my kids know that I am SOO glad that God gave them to me, and I LOVE getting to be their Mom & teacher, too.

Kathleen
Re: How do you handle ?'s
Posted: Thu May 13, 2010 6:39 pm
by Tukata
I had the very same problem with my 4 year old last fall. Her very best friend from church started at a Christian preschool and my dd of course did not understand why she couldn't go too. It was honestly a little tough at first, but then a friend gave me a great tip, that really helped! First, I agree with so many about explaining to your dd about God's plan for the family and why you are homeschooling. But, then, anytime we did something together that my dd really enjoyed, like painting, or reading, or going on a nature walk, I'd tell her, "This is homeschooling." After awhile, she really caught on. She loves "projects" (scrapbooking, cardmaking, etc.) and I always called this part of homeschooling (which it is - life skills and handicrafts!). I don't know if that will work with your dd, but it made a huge difference for mine once she understood that homeschooling would be doing things with Mommy. In fact, just the other day we were talking about my childhood and I mentioned that my mom worked outside of the home. My dd said, "You can't go to work Mommy! Then you couldn't homeschool me!"
Erin
Re: How do you handle ?'s
Posted: Fri May 14, 2010 6:14 am
by MomtoJGJE
We make sure to point out every so often when the bus comes, how long they got to play BEFORE school time after the bus comes, and then how long they get to play AFTER school before the bus comes back... because if they ever do go to school they'll be riding the bus

I also make sure to point out that you can't just get up and walk around whenever you want to at school, etc. I don't point out unnecessary bad stuff about school, but just the things that would be hard/bad for each of them... because they need to know that stuff even if they ARE going to school.
Re: How do you handle ?'s
Posted: Fri May 14, 2010 1:39 pm
by christina101902
Wow Thank you for your responses. And Guess what it worked!!!! I told her that she would have to miss out on special trips to the park with Daddy( due to his shift work that requires him to work most weekends) or out of town trips to the Zoo and Museums, and she was on board. Then I added in that God wants us to learn as much as we can from Him, and home school would do that. Icing on the cake, so now my daughter and husband are on board. Now my adult opponents are a whole nother topic, but only the opinions of God, my husband and my daughter are what truly matter. =)
Thank you all again,
Christina