heartofdakota.com

Hello to all of you wonderful mamas!
I feel a little "lost at sea" not knowing if my dd6 is up to par with reading. She is not reading fluently. She has to (painfully ) sound out any word that is not a sight word. We read & re-read a book until she is fluently reading it but by then I feel that it is only b/c she has memorized it. As we go about our day, she is always reading words on street signs & at the supermarket so she has a definite interest & is advancing.
I know that where she is is where she is, but since this question is always in my head I figured I would ask it. Can some of you tell me how your first grader is reading or should I not even care & compare? Just as a first-yr. hs mom, I always have this fear that I'm not doing it right or pushing enough.
Thanks!!

My 2 cents:

Keep working on it until she gets it! But, don't worry!

I have good friends who have homeschooled all five of their boys. The oldest is 22, then 20, then 18, almost 16, almost 9. The oldest graduated from college at 20 with a degree in accounting, had his CPA by 21 and now has a good-paying, stable accounting job. The second will graduate this May with a major in trombone performance and a minor in accounting. Next year he will work on (and probably finish) a master's degree in accounting. Then he will work on his CPA. The 18 year old (who is really the "theme" of my post) is going to West Point in June. The 16 year old and 9 year old are great too, but they're not "finished" yet.

The third-born, that I mentioned is going to West Point in June, was still having trouble identifying all of his LETTERS correctly at age 6. He wasn't a good reader until almost age 8. After that, because his Mom continued to work gently with him and he enjoyed all of the books that she read aloud to him, he became a voracious reader. Before high school, he read almost all of the G.A. Henty books that he could get his hands on. He read LOTS of biographies, lots of "good, classic, twaddle-free" literature. (However, I think, in some aspects, his parents are even "pickier" than Carrie about making sure that what he read was age-appropriate and would encourage good thoughts. They also didn't allow much, if any, fantasy-type literature.) When he hit high school, other than certain literature they had him read, they really switched gears to having read mostly non-fiction. He has read an AMAZING number of thought-provoking books. He also spent a LOT of time reading the Bible. (I can't remember off-hand how many times he read through the whole thing in high school, but it was A LOT. He also has memorized several books of the Bible: James, some of the shorter epistles, several chapters of Proverbs,etc.) Anyway, this was from someone who was at "emerging reader" level at age 8. Oh and this year, in addition taking second year Spanish and Calculus at the local community college (as a senior in high school), he also finished both Advanced Chemistry and Advanced Physics from Apologia (the SECOND year courses, not the regular ones) and got flying colors on the AP tests. He also scored really well on both the SAT and the ACT.

So, while there MAY be a problem, I would say for now, keep plugging along and read to her A LOT. We have known our friends for about 12 years. So, I can remember when Jason couldn't even read and have watched the transformation. I have also seen the "success" they have had with the way they have handled many situations. And they are definitely "less is more" homeschoolers. I don't think ANY of their kids did more than 3-4 hours per school a day until they were well into high school (and that was only because then they were doing online college classes and classes at the community college for dual credit).

My advice is don't compare. Just keep on keeping on. (And this comes from a Mom who has had a child read at 4, one at 3, and has an almost five year old who may or may not be reading well by the time they are six.)

Hi,
When my ds (who is now 9) was that age I was quite concerned. We would read "cat" in the BOB books and by the time he got to the next page he had forgotten all of the sounds AND for some reason couldn't understand that "cat" on one page is the same as "cat" on the next page. I was comparing him to his homeschool friends who had been reading for years, and hadn't even gone through phonics programs. Also, we are a reading family and are surrounded by books while the parents in these other homes only read to their kids for school... it just didn't seem right to me! He had several friends who listened to the Leap Frog letter factory DVD and knew all their sounds....not him. I'm still not so sure he could sing you the alphabet song, but my 3 year old can. I would try to get him to read road signs and labels at the grocery store... just wasn't happening. Last year when we were doing Singapore 2a math with him, I had to read all the instructions for him...he couldn't do it.
Well... when he was about 8 1/2 or so things just clicked with him and now he is off and running (some of his favorite reading material includes the rules to the game Axis and Allies)....I hadn't even taught him much advanced phonics at that point b/c it was not being retained, but he just figured it out and now we're doing more advanced phonics with him.
I did talk to a learning disability specialist (Diane Craft) at one of our homeschool conferences a few years ago and listened to a few of her talks. That helped me tremendously, mostly in understanding a little about the way the brain works and how that can affect learning and how it wasn't related to my ability as a teacher.
Now the problem we have is that we will find both of our older dc reading in bed at midnight!

I also would not worry about it. It sounds like you are doing a great job. I found all my kids caught on to reading at different rates. I think as long as you are always moving forward I would not really worry about the pace. I know we always do but six is still really young. My oldest also was a memorizer and I worried about her progress but now we are in 7th and I would say she easily reads on the 10th grade level yet she started slow. But now she has a book in her hands literally almost all the time. I think the fascination with reading they have when they memorize things actually turns out to be a good thing. Some day she will click and all at once she will take off. As long as she is not showing any obvious signs, and from what you are saying she sounds really on target for that age, I would just keep it pleasant and steady. Maybe try some easier but new books for enjoyment to give her some success. It sounds like you are doing great. And I'll tell you six kids and not one learned to read at the same rate as the other. It really is an individual thing. Hang in there you are doing great!

I have a friend whose daughter was reading fluently (chapter books) by the age of 4. The same woman's son is still not reading chapter books and he is 8. Kids are different and they learn differently. To compare them is not fair...not at all.

My first grader is a great reader. The last test we did had him reading at a 3rd grade level independently and a 4th grade level with help. He will be 7 at the end of September. However, he can't do math to save his life. He is just an "English-y type kid." My 10 year old is a math WHIZ, but struggles to read phonetically. He was taught by sight words in ps and that is a hard habit to break. He reads well enough, but just won't "sound out" words he doesn't know. I tell you all this to further explain why you can't compare kids to each other.

When it "clicks" for her, you will see amazing leaps in her abilities almost overnight. It just takes time, practice, and patience.

I will second the moms who have already answered, please, please, please try NOT to compare your dc to other children. When it finally clicks for your daughter, she will take off with reading! You may want to take a break from any intense phonics work and take a relaxed approach, maybe take her to the library and have her pick out books that interest her. I am assuming that you have gone through a phonics program with her, if not then you may want to give one of the programs HOD offers or have your daughter try out www.starfall.com. It's a free online phonics/beginning reading program which was a real boost for my daughter when she was learning to read, she still likes it!

A lot of it depends on what kind of learner she is. DD1 is not a systematic learner (I think that's the right term....) what I mean is, with reading, no amount of phonics was going to help her learn to read, she doesn't learn that way. She will go from knowing NOTHING about a subject you are working on, to knowing almost all of it overnight... like someone said before, it just clicked!

She did it with colors... at 3 she couldn't even tell you all the color names, much less come close to matching the names with the colors (any of them)... about two weeks later she knew all the colors we asked her.

With reading, she could NOT figure it out... she would try, and she could do it, but she COULDN'T... I don't know how to describe it. I could tell that it was possible for her to do it (same as the colors) but she just could not do it. We both got VERY VERY frustrated.... So I quit with reading for a while. For a couple of months I didn't even let her look at the books I was reading to them, she listened only.... Then it was amazing... a couple of months after that, in January of last year she was reading at a 1st grade level... then in July, just 6 months later, she was reading at a third-fourth grade level... This January, she could read just about ANYTHING you put in front of her.

DD2 however phonics is working... I'm not sure she'll be at Emerging reader status when she's 6, but lightbulbs are popping with every reading lesson. We are taking it slowly, just a lesson or two a week, but she's getting it.

So I'll agree with the previous ones that you cannot compare siblings, much less children from different families.

Thank you all so much for taking the time to help me. I really am not looking to compare my daughter to see who's smarter; it's just a comparison to know where I should be as a teacher, teaching her. I have no previous experience & don't really know what needs to be amped up or taken slow. I'm just figuring this all out & was more/less looking for some guidance. Again, thank you.

2plus2,

I just wanted to pop-in with a couple of questions that would help us advise you even better once we know the answers. Is your daughter currently doing a phonics program? If so, what program are you using and how long have you been underway with it?

The next question that makes a difference is how consistently would you say you're getting to phonics instruction? I ask because we've found with our own kiddos that if I dropped down below 4 days of phonics a week, the kiddos didn't progress very well and didn't retain well either. Phonics is one of those subjects that really needs to be a 5-day a week steady incremental motion forward. It remains a priority in your young kiddo's day until she is reading well. This can take varying amounts of years with different kiddos.

The next thing to ponder is where you have phonics scheduled within your day. You'll want to make sure it is at an optimum learning time for your daughter. If she's not a morning person, then perhaps late morning or after lunch is best. If she is a morning person, then first thing in the morning may go well. Also, make sure to have phonics be first after a break (like first in the morning, or first after recess, or first after lunch). This will help ensure that your daughter can give it her full attention and that she is not already tired out from other academics done just prior to phonics.

It also helps if phonics is done at a similar time every day when few to no distractions are going on around her. So, make sure you have as quiet a place as possible.
Another helpful tip is to set the timer and keep the lesson to 15-20 minutes or less.

One last thing to check would be whether or not you have had your daughter's eyes tested. If she hasn't been tested within the last year that would be another thing to double check just to make sure her vision is not giving her any problems.

If you get a chance to pop back in and share a bit more that would be great!

Blessings,
Carrie

Hi -- I am not doing a phonics program with her. We worked through 100 EZ Lessons & now I just sit & have her read to me daily. She also does reading exercises on the computer with Time4Learning. What do you recommend as a continuing phonics program? I am willing to try whatever!
I do usually start our day with reading, to get it out of the way, since it's always difficult for us. We end the day reading in bed together too, which is normally less strict & more fun, where I give her the word right away, if she is stumbling, & she really likes that.
I feel terrible that she dreads reading, when I have had a love for reading from an early age & remember living at the library! I also don't like that she feels that she's not good at reading, as she's told me many times. I know these early years set the tone for her confidence level & I feel like I'm not fostering too great a start. My son, 5, has just picked up reading on his own from listening in & it is so frustrating to her to see him reading with ease.
Thanks for any insight!!

Oh, that definitely helps then. I would start a phonics program with her. My 6 year old is a great reader (3rd-4th grade level), but we are still doing phonics...and we will continue phonics through 2nd grade (we use R&S). My older son learned to read in ps without phonics and that is where his struggles are coming from now. I definitely think going through phonics with her will help tremendously.

Thanks Rebecca -- what is R&S?

Rod & Staff

I agree with the pp. Don't worry, be consistant with phonics instruction, and even when it seems as if they don't need phonics see it through to the 2nd or 3rd grade. While I was trying to decide on a phonics program to purchase, my second daughter taught herself to read. I thought maybe phonics would be a waste but I noticed that every once in a while she would see a word she hasn't seen before and didn't have the skills to decode it on her own. Once I told her the word, she knows it every time but I won't always be available. So I went ahead with phonics. My first daughter was much slower to learn and is still at a lower reading level. In her case for a while we even had to review phonics on the weekends because two days off was enough for her to forget some of what she had already learned. I didn't introduce new sounds, blends, digraphs, etc on the weekend, only review. Don't know if any of that helps. Gina

Hey all -- just another question. I have been looking into what to order for phonics -- checked out what HOD recommends & also Rod and Staff. It all looks very much to me like the 100 Easy Lessons which I've already completed with dd. Is that not a phonics program? I feel that if I start one of these phonics programs with her, she will be wondering why we are starting over. We were checking out all the demo pgs. together & she said is this for the twins? (i have 3 yr old twins) Don't get me wrong - if you all think that back to the beginning is what I need to do, I will take the advice of experience but I am just confused. thanks again for your time & efforts towards me.