Need some encouragement

[Kristen]

Hi Everyone,
I haven't been on the board in a while - so much has been happening and I've been trying to limit my computer time.
Once I started reading posts, I remembered how encouraging everyone is and got some good ideas from other posts too. I just wanted to run this by you. I'll try to keep it short.
I started Preparing this year with my two older boys (10 in April and just turned 8 in Dec.) We finished Beyond last year (after 2 years of working on it because of a new baby.) I was going to start this year with Bigger and then I figured it might be too easy and I guess, looking back now, probably feeling like I had to "make up" for that extra year doing Beyond. Now I'm realizing this was probably not a good choice.
Throw into the mix that in Aug. we found out we're expecting baby number 4 in April! I felt like I was just getting back on track so to speak from having our third, who's now 2. So I've been feeling overwhelmed a lot along with all the usual pregnancy stuff. Thank God, everything has been healthy so far.
So I started out the school year gung-ho and determined not to let this pregnancy slow me down. I was working so hard to fit everything into our day, even if it took us until 4:00 or later to finish. And I was totally wiped out. Then I decided to just forget the page schedule, only keeping English and Math everyday and doing history, science, etc. as we can. Now, it seems to take us a week to do a page and we're not even doing all the stuff. I feel like I have no time to do anything "fun" with the boys, especially my 2 y.o. who ends up watching way too many DVDs. Although he gets lots of playtime with his brothers too. I know I need a good schedule, but we got so out of whack at Christmas-time and I'm getting more tired again as I get closer to my due date.
I just feel so discouraged lately, wondering if my life is ever going to get back to "normal" - whatever that is I don't have much of the joy I had when I started homeschooling. I read another post that got me thinking I should just switch to Bigger because the boys are probably not really ready for Preparing (esp. my 8 y.o) and I should not try to push it. I feel like I've skipped around so much over these few years with switching math and now English (I'm trying Easy Grammar - one workbook page a day) because I found R&S to require too much time from me. The boys were always waiting for me and then getting distracted while waiting. I figured they needed some more independent work. I just couldn't do it all. I'm worried that if I switch again to Bigger I'll really feel behind - even though I know the beauty of HOD is that there are no grade levels. I need to remember that. I could just keep their math and English where they are now.
In fact, here's an example... it just took my 9 y.o. 3 hours, yes 3 hours!! to complete a one page review, yes review!! in Singapore 3A - including correcting any errors. UGH! My husband sat down with him last night to help with math and we both figure a lot of it is due to distraction. Although I'm thinking he needs some review of multiplication facts - he's not so solid in that since we switched programs this year. Anyway.....
Help!
Kristen

[pjsullivan]

hi! i am not a faithful user of HOD,yet! but i just wanted to put your mind at ease. i have been homeschooling for 6 years now. The last 4 years i have been in and out of hospitals and treatment and my kids have had to weeks , months were they were not doing much of anything. This ytear, i hope to make it without needing hospitilazatioin. We have tried several curriculums during this time as well-searching for a program that was "planned" for me. I stumbled upon HOD recently and am considering using it faithful in the last four months of school this year. Anyway, like i said my kids have been off and on curriculums and have even had a neighbor homeschool them for several months. In all the chaos and confusion my kids did fine both academically and emotionally-not that i encourage being away from the kids LOL-They are all on or above their grade levels!! They even went to school this Fall as i was still hospitalized. I think that we learned from this experience that the public school is inferior to just about any type of homeschooling experience! My kids did a lot of reading on their own and learned tremendous amount. Han in there and know that if it takes you 1 week to do one day, that is o.k.!!!!! It is a huge adjustment when you add a new baby or two the mix

[blessedmomof4]

Hi Kristen,
Regarding the math, I was wondering if you had givien your son Singapore Math placement tests before beginning 3A since you said you switched from something else? Proper placement can do a lot to alleviate frustration for both child and mom. Singapore Math can run from one to two grade levels higher than other programs. I thought my 10 year old fifth grader would be ready to start with at least 4A or 3B, but after giving her the placement tests found she needed to start at 3A, and could even use some review near the end of 2B. Remember, it's your school, and you can work with your child at whatever level and pace he works best.

[water2wine]

I have no real advice. I just wanted to say hang in there. There are storms in life and I think in fact as hsers we can count on having them since I beleive all of us here are doing it out of a call from the Lord. Just know that when God called you to it He knew about all the storms and there will also be a period of calm to come too. They are learning. All kids have bumps in their learning even in the best of times. Saying a prayer for your family.

[inHistiming]

Kristen,

I can so relate to the feeling of wanting to get back to 'normal'! Since 2005 our family has moved 5 times, and we added a baby last March. It can be tough and I have often wondered how I am going to get it all done. It can be frustrating, I worry over the kids' progress (or lack of progress), etc. We have done our best amidst everything to at least stay caught up with English and Math. That way I know they are at least progressing there and the other things are not quite as important...

As you know, pregnancy can be a stressful time, especially when you're homeschooling other little ones and trying to keep up a home and what-not. Can you try to 'do school' during the time that you have the most energy during the day? If that works out to be during the littlest one's nap it may be even better..do you have some activities for him to work on while your schooling the others? He could sit at the table and color, play with play-doh, look at books.....I'm sure you've probably tried all of that. I guess the main thing, as difficult as it is, is to relax and get as much done as possible knowing that God has put you in this 'season' and it will not last forever. I have to remind myself of that constantly...we just heard that we have another move, sooner than expected, and I am not handling it very well. However, I do still know God has His hand in all of it and that is what encourages me.

When you get a moment, or several, check out the link below. It is a thread about scheduling that might be a help and encouragement as well.

viewtopic.php?f=6&t=2093&st=0&sk=t&sd=a ... +schedules

[mamayi]

Hi Kristen,
Just want you to know that you are not alone! There just seems to be so much to do and such a limited supply of time and energy.
May I encourage you with the words of Scripture that tell us that when we are weakest God is strongest.
I just had my fourth child in September and so the end of last school year and the beginning of this one have been less than "ideal."
I had to re-evaluate what an 'ideal' day was and realize that God knew just what each day needed to hold and He would accomplish it.
Times like these also help us revisit our reasons for homeschooling in the first place. As your children see you deal with the varied situations that life presents they are learning tons!
I am new to posting on these boards but have been encouraged by them for many months. The ladies here have a lot of great advice.
Many blessings to you,
Andrea

[my3sons]

Kristen - First, I've prayed for you, and second, I do believe that this can be fixed in a pretty easy way. I think a fresh start is what is needed - we all need that sometimes! Could you please take a moment to check out the placement chart and tell a bit about your dc with the first page of the placement chart in mind? If you could also look at each child individually and share which HOD program you think they'd fit in individually, that would be a huge help. I know you'd like to combine, and we'll still suggest options with that in mind, but the individual placements will still help us give a better overall placement anyway, even for combining.

Everyone needs encouragement, and you have come to the right place. One piece of advice I've gotten that has helped me is not to worry about history cycles or finishing "x" amount of guides - but instead to spend time on proper placement. This is the key to a happier, more stress-free year. This doesn't mean you can't move ahead more quickly or slowly if need be after initial placement, but what we need to figure out is THIS YEAR for you hon'! So, you can move forward with a happy start! Here's a link to the chart, and we'll all check back for your response:
http://www.heartofdakota.com/placing-your-child.php

In Christ,
Julie

[Kristen]

Thanks, all of you, for your heartfelt replies. I am feeling better today since I took a step back to evaluate. I know - and have to keep reminding myself - that when I'm spending time with God, things go much smoother. When I do that I realize the important things about how I'm raising my family and why I'm doing this in the first place (like one of you mentioned.) When my attitude is good, everything runs smoother as well. I have to remember that it doesn't matter if my kids know their times tables if all they remember is mom yelling or in a bad mood. I don't want to pass that legacy on to my children.
I think I have those other voices in my head, like my extended family, who is not very supportive of HSing. Even when my last son was born they thought I should send the older boys to school and now are asking with the fourth, "how are you going to do it all?" UGH! I know I am not living to please them but it can be a struggle.
Anyway, back to the placement. Thanks, Julie, for helping with that. I've realized that a lot of the stuff in Preparing is just too hard for them (or me) so we skip it. I don't want to "waste" a program and not get much out of it. It's probably because we're not in the right one. I'll try to tell you about their placement in the easiest way.
Like I said, we did Beyond over two years and then skipped Bigger this year and we all seem to miss the American History, and the dictation and copywork are just too much for them in Preparing. Even the memory verses seem too long. Forget about the writing.

DS age 8 (just turned 8 in Dec.): He places in Bigger for everything on the first page.
Reading: He just became an emerging reader. He just got excited about reading books himself. He takes out books at the library that are those level 2 chapter books - mostly on animals and/or sports. I sit with him while he reads to help with any hard words and to sort of "monitor" the progress.
Writing: His printing is very messy. He writes large and sometimes reverses letters and/or numbers. Sometimes I just have him copy the alphabet and numbers on handwriting paper. I don't think he's even ready for cursive. Maybe actually places in Beyond for this?
Grammar: Oh, now that I think about it, he may be closer to Beyond for this too. He was working in R&S level 3 this year, which he is doing o.k. with. He can identify nouns, verbs, subject, predicates, some diagramming. Again though, I hesitated with too much of the writing stuff out because it was so hard for him. I just recently (a couple weeks ago) switched both boys to Easy Grammar workbooks because I figured they could just do most of it on their own and it would help me out. Probably not the best choice. Also, this was the first year I started R&S for them so when they were in Beyond they didn't do everything "by the book" anyway. Oh, I feel so off-track. I don't think I started at the right place. I just started where I thought they "should" be. Like for this guy, I worked on phonics with him and then jumped into R&S 3.
Math: He is doing well with Singapore 2A this year. He likes it and doesn't dilly-dally with it. He actually knows some multiplication that his older brother has trouble with. Not sure how that happened! So I think he would still be in Bigger for this too and right on with his math. Last year I tried them both with one Singapore workbook in an easy level, what I thought would be review just to try it - I think I did Level 1A with him.
His attitude is good overall for schoolwork. Although he is my more active one, he likes to check things off his list and get them done so he can have free time. Both boys get distracted easily and feed off each other in that regard.

DS age 9 (10 in April): He also places in Bigger for everything except his age (he could be in either) and his reading. He is the boy who can learn independently and has been his whole life. He will get interested in something and read and learn all he can about it. Right now he is into model railroading and is working on a set in our basement. He reads adult "how-to" books on the subject and taught himself about wiring, modeling, painting, etc. My husband likes to do it with him too (he's crafty and handy.) If left to his own devices, he would find things to do and always has some kind of project or invention he is working on. He is more prone to dilly-dally on schoolwork, say it's boring, whine, stall, whatever.
Reading: Preparing or maybe CTC? - not sure what "able to use DITHOR reading level 4/5" means exactly. He can definitely read at a 4/5 grade level, maybe higher. The problem is finding things he likes. I recently tried "Sign of the Beaver" - adventure, suspense. He had no interest, but read some. Took so long, we renewed it more times than I can count over a span of 2-3 months maybe. Never finished the book. He might actually need a little easier level but it is so hard to find books that are interesting for boys and don't contain questionable subject matter at the library. I couldn't afford the boys interest set before, but might be able to now depending on what else I have to get. At least I have Preparing for whenever we need it.
Writing: Started cursive this year but haven't done much lately. Not ready for the cursive copywork in Preparing. Have to admit, I haven't even tried the dictation with him. He can print well and has no trouble, just doesn't really like to. Wants the shortest sentence possible. He has somewhat of a hard time being creative and thinking hypothetically. Very black and white.
Grammar: He was working on R&S 4 this year before I switched to Easy Grammar. Seems to do well with it. Understands parts of speech - so far just nouns, verbs, subject, predicates, prepositions.
Math: o.k. another "short-cut" taken on my part. Didn't do the entire placement test for Singapore - took so long and was so painful, also couldn't get all the pictures to print at the time - that I just looked at the pages and content online and placed him where I thought he would be. He started 3A this year, which has been o.k. but he isn't solid in multiplication so division has been really hard for him (he just started it.) I'm thinking of going back to 2B and then after that pick up on 3A. Last year he tried Singapore, level 1B I think, to try it and get a review.

Thanks, Julie, and anyone else who has been patient enough to read this whole thing! I know I've taken some "short-cuts" and see how it doesn't help in the long run. I guess when I skip things because it seems like too much, it probably is. Thanks for helping me get the right placement and move forward from there.

Kristen

[my3sons]

Thanks so much for telling us about your sons, Kirsten! That helps so much, and I think that they both place well in BHFHG, which will be a wonderful follow-up to Beyond, and fits their age levels just fine. Bigger Hearts was just excellent training and preparation for my ds to be able to do PHFHG, and I think that Bigger Hearts is the missing link for your ds's. Plus, I'm just glad you get to do it! It's an awesome program.

For your younger ds, I would do R & S English 2, mainly orally though still requiring some writing. I have 3 sons, and I think boys just don't want to write so much in general, so here's how we do it at our house (just arrow down to my post at this link): viewtopic.php?f=6&t=4659&p=34269#p34269

For your younger ds's reading, I'd do the Emerging Reader's Set schedule and comprehension questions (which can be found in Bigger Heart's Appendix). That is just an awesome set and a great bridge between phonics and longer chapter books. For his math, wherever he is in Singapore 2A, I'd just find that page in the Math box plans in the BIgger Heart's guide and put a sticky note there to mark where he's at with his math. I'd start at that point doing the hands-on math activities in the math box of Bigger Hearts, moving the sticky note ahead each day as you complete the plans. The hands-on lessons are short, fun, will be excellent for helping him retain the math better, and will make it clearer in his mind why he's doing the steps he's doing to solve the problems. For handwriting, I'd get him "A Reason for Handwriting A" (or some comparable handwriting) and have him do a page or two each day. Instead of him filling the entire line with the letters though, I'd have him do 3 GREAT letters, and let him know if he does this he doesn't need to do the whole rest of the line. For the words, he could do several for those. The idea is less done better. Make sure he understands you want neat letters/words and that 3 is enough as long as they're neat - otherwise, he can do the whole line of them. If he has not done Spelling List 2 in Beyond, I'd definitely do that with him in Bigger Hearts, along with the plans for the spelling in the LA Box. Even if he has done Spelling List 2, I might have him run through them one more time and then start dictation the following year when his writing skills are more mature. I think he'll be set nicely with this plan!

For your older ds, it sounds like he's doing well with R & S English 4, so I'd keep going with that, but go to doing it half-speed, every other day, and doing it more orally as I described earlier with that other link. This will lessen his writing for this subject so he can handle the writing better the rest of his school day. For reading, I'd do DITHOR Level 4/5 with him, and get the boy interest books. My ds is LOVING that set! I think your ds would too. Here's a link to that:
http://www.heartofdakota.com/drawn-into-optional4-5.php
For his math, you could just put a sticky note at the start of Singapore 2B's plans in the Bigger Hearts guide and start there with him, moving his sticky ahead each day as you complete a lesson. Again, I think it's important to do the hands-on lessons in the Bigger Hearts guide as you go. Halfway through the year, when you finish 2B with him, you can just get the 3A Textbook and 3A Workbook at that time, and follow the schedule for that in Bigger Hearts Appendix (there are no longer hands-on lessons planned for 3A on up). For cursive, I'd encourage you to give Cheerful Cursive a try. It's fun, it's short, and that 1 year was enough cursive instruction for my ds to be able to do the cursive in PHFHG. My ds is a typical boy, so if it worked for him, I'm sure it would work for your ds too. For his spelling, I'd definitely start Dictation Level 2, following the directions noted for it before the first passage in the Appendix. This will do wonders for his spelling and writing over time and is an important skill to develop. If you want, you could get him the Extension Package. He is right on the bubble agewise for that, so I would only get it if he would love to read those extra books and would do so independently. You don't need another thing to do.

We have 3 sons, so I know sometimes it's a lot of activity to deal with! One thing you may want to consider that has helped my ds's is for them to sit at different tables when doing their independent work. I float between them and they can concentrate better (and also not be a bother to each other ). Another thing that has helped is to have a scheduled 30 minute playtime for each of the with our toddler. So, while one of them plays away from us with the toddler, I can do 30 minutes alone with the other one - usually this is a good time to do math, grammar, and anything else they'd have separately. When the 30 minutes is up, they switch, and the toddler plays with the other one while I do school with the other one. This has worked great at our house! There are some super toddler ideas here on this thread:
viewtopic.php?f=5&t=198&p=33557
viewtopic.php?f=6&t=4987&p=36744#p36744
If you don't have a loose schedule for your toddler, you probably will want one, as this makes a HUGE difference in how schooling goes with the olders (at least it does at our house!). My toddler's basic schedule looks like this:
breakfast, 30-40 minute video, play with oldest brother (30-40 minutes), play with middle brother (30-40 minutes), have snack and juice at kitchen table (15 minutes), do LHTH half-speed with me (15-20 minutes), play out (15 minutes), watch 30 minute video with middle ds, play out on main floor until lunch

By lunch, I'm done homeschooling everyone, which brings me to one other thought I'd had, since you have boys as I do, I think it's a HUGE deal for boys to be done with school in a timely fashion. When starting BHFHG, I'd tell them that they can be done with this quite quickly if they move along and spend the right amount of time on boxes of plans. Here are the suggested amounts of times for BHFHG's boxes:
viewtopic.php?f=12&t=702
I'd set a timer for each box, and let the boys know you are all working toward finishing each box by the time the timer rings. You can let them know that it may take a bit to learn the guide, but that this is the amount of time each box is supposed to take, and if they can get busy doing that, they will be done with school in time for lunch, and have their afternoons free. This is also important for us as moms to have a moving along at a fairly quick speed kind of plan in mind. When the timer rings, finish it up quickly and move on - do whatever you have to do to do that. Usually, if all you do is homeschool from breakfast to lunch (no picking up the phone - a tough one for me , no cooking, no laundry, no dilly-dallying for the boys between things, etc.), you can definitely finish by lunch, which makes the rest of the day free for all of those other things you need to do, and they'd like to do.

I hope this helps, but I just want to encourage you that I am confident you can do this and enjoy it along the way! Homeschooling is very important, but it need not take your entire day to be successful. We LOVED doing Bigger Hearts, but we were always done in about 3 hours, so we could love the rest of our day as well. Also, please don't listen to your in-laws about homeschooling if they are negative. I know that's hurtful - believe me, I understand. But, when you hear them "whispering" in your ear as you were saying, just listen with your other ear to God, because He's saying He's proud of you for choosing to homeschool your dc to know Him! O.k., now this got LONG! Sorry, I was just hoping to help as much as possible. Please pop back and share any thoughts you have about this, or any further questions too.

In Christ,
Julie

[trustinghim]

Just popping in to say Thanks Julie...all these ideas are fantastic!!! We all really appreciate all the time and love you put into supporting us on our homeschool journey's. You are making a huge difference in our homes for now, and Eternity!!!

[my3sons]

Just popping in to say Thanks Julie...all these ideas are fantastic!!! We all really appreciate all the time and love you put into supporting us on our homeschool journey's. You are making a huge difference in our homes for now, and Eternity!!!

Needed to hear that today - thanks! You encouraged me today.
Love in Christ,
Julie

[Kristen]

Thank you so much, Julie! What a blessing to get all this detailed information specifically for my boys. You really have a heart for helping homeschoolers!
I've printed out the suggestions and am going to digest it and go over what I need to get. This sounds more like the way things should be. I think the organized playtimes for my little guy will help too.
I'll check back and let you know how things are going.
Thanks again,
Kristen

[Kristen]

I have two more questions as I go through my list of things I need to get.... Julie, you said my oldest (9) could start with DITHOR level 4/5. While he can read at that level, I think the comprehension and interest may not be there yet. I was looking closer at some of the books on the lists (level 4/5 vs. level 3) and the level 3 seem more his speed. Also, the Sign of the Beaver is on the 4/5 list, which is the one that we tried and was very hard for him. Actually he just told me yesterday that the books his younger brother is reading are good for him (about a 2nd gr. level). But I know they are a little too easy. He also has not had any experience with analyzing literature, i.e., characters, plot, genre, etc. So, I'm thinking of starting him with DITHOR level 2/3. Would that be o.k.? I'm afraid to tweak too much because that's when I get into trouble. But once again, I don't want to push and end up backtracking later.
Secondly, I need to get the Emerging Readers for the younger (8) for his independent reading, and also either the classic or boys interest set that comes with Bigger for read-alouds, right? Then the DITHOR level 3 would be for my older's independent reading. Just trying to get this all straight.
I'm finding a lot of books through my library so that will help a lot with costs!
Thanks!
Kristen

[my3sons]

I have two more questions as I go through my list of things I need to get.... Julie, you said my oldest (9) could start with DITHOR level 4/5. While he can read at that level, I think the comprehension and interest may not be there yet. I was looking closer at some of the books on the lists (level 4/5 vs. level 3) and the level 3 seem more his speed. Also, the Sign of the Beaver is on the 4/5 list, which is the one that we tried and was very hard for him. Actually he just told me yesterday that the books his younger brother is reading are good for him (about a 2nd gr. level). But I know they are a little too easy. He also has not had any experience with analyzing literature, i.e., characters, plot, genre, etc. So, I'm thinking of starting him with DITHOR level 2/3. Would that be o.k.? I'm afraid to tweak too much because that's when I get into trouble. But once again, I don't want to push and end up backtracking later.
Secondly, I need to get the Emerging Readers for the younger (8) for his independent reading, and also either the classic or boys interest set that comes with Bigger for read-alouds, right? Then the DITHOR level 3 would be for my older's independent reading. Just trying to get this all straight.
I'm finding a lot of books through my library so that will help a lot with costs!
Thanks!
Kristen

You are doing an awesome job of fine-tuning your placement, and I would always error on the side of starting easier with DITHOR rather than harder, as it is a rich program. So, I whole-heartedly agree that it would be wise to start your oldest in Level 2/3, using the Level 3 Book Pack. I also agree the Emerging Readers sound like a super fit or your 8 yo, and yes, you would want to choose either the classic or boy interest sets that come with Bigger Hearts for Storytime read alouds.

One other way you could help with costs is to just order the books you'd need for the first third or half of the year, and then order the books later. We can give you a list of the books you'd need for the first 1/3 or 1/2 of the year if that's helpful. The only reason I say this is we tried a stint with the library and had a tough time with it. This was due to many things though - our library was in another town, the books were hard to get or return on time, there were big late fees, we actually had to pay to join (long story), some of the books (especially the Christian ones I really wanted for sure) weren't available, etc.

Anyway, because of all this it didn't work for us and ended up costing us about the same money as it would have just to own the books. However, other ladies do an awesome job of getting to the library, have fabulous libraries just down the road, return things on time, etc., and the library works great for them. You'll probably know which camp you fall in, but I just wanted to mention this as a caution because the kiss of death for homeschooling happily is often not having the books on hand when you need them for how long you need them. Just something to ponder - but otherwise, you are totally set! I can't wait for you to begin, and I think you have a super plan in place!

In Christ,
Julie

[Carrie]

Kristen,

The ladies are doing a terrific job of encouraging you and of talking through options with you! I agree that this board is so encouraging and the ladies are so gracious with their time in helping talk through each specific situation. If you have other questions, as you fine-tune your placement, let us know. I think you'll find Bigger Hearts to be a better fit all the way around.

Blessings,
Carrie