heartofdakota.com

Hi Ladies,
I figured I could use some prayer and advice from you all...this group is such a blessing
Our oldest daughter has had a difficult year following a family trial which shook her faith and left her extremely worried that something would happen to either me or my husband. We've prayed with her and for her, memorized scripture, sought wise counsel, read books etc. but it was getting so that she didn't even want to be down the street or dropped at an activity, things that were previously not a problem for her.
We were surprised this summer that it seemed that the Lord was leading us to put her in school for a year. I hope we heard Him right on this! It has actually been quite helpful in many ways and we are so very thankful to have had the option of this particular Christian school.
But, it is a "traditional" school and she is beginning to be bogged down by homework, lifeless textbooks, tests galore, focus on grades. She is doing well academically and socially, but she comes home exhausted and is beginning to dislike learning.
We've had remarkable peace about having her in school the past 5 weeks, but all of a sudden both dh and I are both thinking that it might be time to pull her out prematurely, or consider some sort of a part-time option. If only we knew for sure what would be the best for this sweet daughter of ours.
I'd like to ask for prayer, and also if anyone has any insight about transitioning in and out of different school situations i'd love to hear. Or any advice about helping children who are prone to worrying/fear.
I write this humbly, knowing that a year or 2 ago I might have felt judgemental about a family who made the same choices. I've realized that perhaps I was entrusting my dc to homeschooling more than I was entrusting them to the Lord, and that has been a good learning process. But we still are quite commited to homeschooling our dc, and have felt God's calling to do so until further notice. So, if we keep dd in school for the whole year that means a real bouncing back and forth between the classroom/textbook approach and the homeschooling/CM approach.
Thanks for reading this rambling post.
Blessings,

First I offer you my prayer. All of us want God's absolute best for our kids and I know that is the question you are trying to answer. Then all I have to offer is my BTDT sort of experience because I am a mom that started out hsing and put them back into ps. My reasons were different. I had picked the worst, the most time consuming and the most tedious curriculum for preschool I know of to use and I was discouraged feeling like I was running from child to child not getting anything done. Second I had 4 from age 5-3 from the start and 6-4 by the time I was convinced I could not do it. Third I had a lot of people telling me the "best" thing I could do for my child was ps. The reasons were there were too many too young, one with special needs and they were adopted so therefore they needed the "socialization" and environment to help them get over some of their social issues from having been adopted. So there was a little post traumatic stress disorder type stuff on our end. We went with ps for a couple of years and I ended up pulling them out mid year. Finally I got angry enough with some of the stuff I saw to overcome my fears.

So from all that I offer you this advice. Pray very hard and know that God is a God that calls sometimes and then equips for the call. Know that scripture does not call us to have the ps system fix our family issues whatever they are. That is our job no matter where we put them so therefore He equips you for that also. Pray very hard about how God wants you to teach your child. It is a prayer I know He is faithful to answer. Then trust that answer. I firmly believe that God does not change His mind. I think He corrects our path and leads us in different directions but He does not change His mind. So if your heart is to homeschool I believe that is for a reason unless He shows you otherwise. It is not a natural heart to be honest. I mean who in their right mind gives up all their time to teach their children when someone else will do it for free. It's unnatural, it's super natural, it's a call. God is always faithful to answer what is His call for you! Ask Him then believe the answer.

That's the best I can do. Hopefully something helps! Praying for your decision.

My best advice is to seek outside counseling for her. I have OCD, and as part of that, I have severe anxiety. Sometimes, it gets so bad that it can be debilitating. Thrusting me into a social situation when I feel this way (or making me drive a car when I fear I am going to have a wreck, etc) is not the best course of action. If she were my dd, I would pull her back out of school and get her in with a counselor who can maybe help her work through these feelings as an unbiased party.

When I was a kid, I was terrified I would lose my grandparents early (and oddly enough, I did ). I struggled with fear over their deaths daily and it bothered me so very much. I wish my mom had known to get help for me. I think that, having the fear, and then having it happen compounded my anxiety, ocd, and brought on the hypochondria from which I now suffer.

Hugs and prayers to you and your dd right now.

I'm praying for you, too. I don't have any advice for you, but just wanted you to know that I'm asking God right now to make his will for your family clear to you.

Kathleen

water2wine wrote: I mean who in their right mind gives up all their time to teach their children when someone else will do it for free. It's unnatural, it's super natural, it's a call.

W2W, I love your straightforwardness! This is priceless advice !

Well, this is a decision to weigh carefully, and I can tell you and your dh love your dd so very much and are doing just that. I am praying for clarity for you. It is wonderful to hear you and your dh are both seeking God's wisdom about this. I think that He will make clear what it is you should do. My first inclination would be to bring her back home and homeschool her - all academics and social issues aside - mainly because the Lord is ever present in your homeschooling in your home where He may not be as present in the school she's attending. I have come to believe that we can socialize our dc as a family, but it has taken years and years of thinking this over, and lots of reading of helpful books, for me to come to this conclusion for our family. I know not everyone has this vision of socialization, but I'm just saying it is very possible to socialize our dc ourselves, and help them through any issues they are having as best we can. Seeking Christian counsel for things that need more help than we know how to provide can be very helpful too. So, whatever you decide, you have our full support, love, and prayer - God will certainly reveal His will to you and will advise you better than any of us can.

In Christ,
Julie

Thank you all for your wonderful wisdom and prayers. I'll update when the plan is more definite

I'm so thankful for God's answering prayer on this matter and clearly leading us to bring oldest dd back home this week I've been praying through James 1:5,6 alot.

I know there are many more "urgent" things to pray for these days, but if you think to pray for my meeting with the teacher and principal today I'd really appreciate it. The teacher is a personal friend and a wonderful person (and teacher), and the principal is an amazing Christian woman as well. I want to communicate our decision graciously, but without room for wavering or other opinions.

Thanks again!

I just prayed for you as you go through this meeting. I know sometimes it is tough to communicate why we're homeschooling without others feeling hurt and confused. I pray it goes well, but if it doesn't, that is alright. I know you are a kind-hearted and gracious person, and I know you will approach this meeting that way. You are your dd's advocate, and you know what is best for her - especially because you've consulted God first. It sounds like these ladies are Christians, so hopefully they can help you honor God's leading. No matter how it all goes, you are about to embark on an adventure with your oldest dd! That's pretty exciting!

In Christ,
Julie

Julie,
Thanks for your prayer and encouragement...I read it yesterday 5 minutes before leaving for the meeting. What a nice "boost" before a tricky meeting. All went as well as could be expected, and I look forward to having oldest re-join our homeschool in a little over a week.
Blessings,

I'm glad it went well overall, and now, let the fun begin! I bet it is a relief to have that over, and I wish you every blessing as you begin homeschooling.

In Christ,
Julie

I'm sorry I am just seeing this now. I know how those meetings go. I am glad yours seemed to go as well as expected. When I was pulling my children out I got a lot of opposition and in fact the principal told me " You are not qualified to teach your child." I do have a special needs child and that was what she was referring to. As you can imagine I assured her of my education and qualification to be able to teach a second grader. I will say that the principal was soon after fired. So she was not the best. But just so you realize their job is to keep them in school, not so much to help you out. It sounds like it went wonderful for you but if they said anything negative to you keep that in mind.

I am excited about your decision. I think it will be one that you will never look back on with regret! Congratulations! And welcome to HOD! You're going to love it!