Poll! Help me decide what non-HOD activity to cut out

[lovetobehome]

I am the WORST at making decisions. I need your help, please!
I have always homeschooled...my oldest is DS 9.5, then DD 7, an d DS 2. I have always stayed close to home, but this year we decided to use a homeschool co-op, because my kids get few opportunities to be with friends, and we have no family nearby. And, we thought it would be a good time to get them used to co-op since we want to use it as they get older...this way they can enter while they are sitll young and before the stakes get higher and the workload increases.

There are 2 co-ops, and I couldn't decide which one to do, so I signed up for both. (first I signed up for the academic one, and at the last minute added the fun one because it offered a gym class, and I thought that would be better than swimming lessons or something). Also, I wanted to get a feel for both. Now I feel overwhelmed because I am out of the house more than I like to be, and my routine for getting school done is so whacked now. Even with the co-ops, I like to get done what *I* have planned for them, and I like to get in 5 days of everything. Here is what we have going:
DS 9.5 has scouts one night a week, just a couple other boys in his group, they are nice, but he doesnt see them outside of scouts---they are all in PS or Catholic school.
DD7 has ballet, a homeschool ballet class that is fabulous and we will never give up, meets 11-12 on wednesdays, right in the middle of our day but we have done it for a couple years and I won't give this up.
Co-op 1 meets on tuesdays, it is a very well-organized, structured, and academically rigorous co-op. I feel like this will serve us very well as the years go on, because the classes here are better than what I would teach at home and for any subject they do at this co-op, I would not feel any need to teach that same subject at home. So, he has a chemistry class, and I feel like it is so good that I would give up our science at home...in short, it takes a burden off of me. Many moms use this as their primary schoolwork...they get their assignments and meet once a week, but it is enough that it can count as a full week of work (they have work to do at home). My son enjoys it a lot, especially the science experiments, my daughter could take or leave it (but she only has one class here, another dance class-it was the only option for the time my son was in chemistry. I think she would probably like this co-op more next time when I sign her up for other things, too). I feel like, long-term, this is the one we will choose, because the classes are sooo good, the instructors are awesome, and everything is just top-notch here. But, we don't really have friends at this co-op....yet anyway. We have been there twice so far.This one is 15 minutes from my home.
Co-op 2 is a fun co-op, meets on fridays. The classes are fun, the goal of most of the moms here is to get their kids having fun with others, while learning classroom etiquette. My kids love it, and we have several friends who are in this co-op....nice for my son, especially, since he doens't get much boy time and daddy travels a lot. HE gets gym and a fun storywriting class. My daughter has a geography and storytime class. I don't feel that these classes replace what I would teach at home; they are more for fun. So, in short, it doesn't relieve any of my teaching...and it never will...it is primarily social for us. This one is 30 minutes from my home.

I don't want to be out 3 days a week. Maybe I will adjust, but I really don't even WANT to adjust. I like to be home (hence my name on here). But should I suck it up for my kids and do it, or will they live without both? Will they resent me for taking away their fun time if I quit the friday one? Vote in my poll, and help me out! THANKS!!

Adding some more info here...the classes at the academic one really ARE that much better than what I would do at home. That is why we originally decided on that co-op. Because it would take away from some of what I was supposed to teach (in truth, I just never even DID science, I never got around to it, and when I did, it was just reading nature books....totally different then this chemistry and physics and all that they do here). I can easily justify the time away from home for the academic one.
I should have also mentioned that we are very involved with our church, we go to services every saturday and sunday, and very often during the week, too. If there is a morning service, we ditch school and make church the priority. My son is an altar boy there, and has other friends there who are altar boys, so he gets a little structured time with boys there. And, they are in sunday school each week, and his class is all boys...he and all the other altar boys. My daughter's class is a mix of girls and boys, and I teach it half of the time.
I am inclined to drop the 'fun' co-op. But I am feeling guilty about taking away something fun....
Also, I feel like whichever one we decide on will need to be for the long haul...otherwise, I know they will get attachd to one and then it will be harder to leave their friends there....so I don't want to do one now, and switch to the other down the line...

[jewel7123]

Hmm....that is a tough one. So let me make sure I understand. Are you doing all the stuff in your avatar PLUS an HOD program? If so, I don't see how they possibly need more from an acedemic co-op. That seems like a pretty full workload already.

Let me just give you my opinion as a formally homeschooled child myself! My Mom never really got involved with a co-op or homeschool group. She did when we were young, but dropped it when we got a bit older. So, I never really got any social interaction and that was the ONLY thing I can say that I felt was missing as a teenager. You know how teenagers are.....they feel like they are the only homeschooled teenager in the world and they have no friends and no life, lol. Or maybe that was just me. Anyway, if it were me I would drop the academic co-op, especially at the ages they are now. When they get to be teenagers and in the higher grades I would feel the acedemic co-op might become more important.

I personally am in two local homeschool groups for the primary purpose of socializing and making friends. I don't really need their academic classes right now and don't feel I will for many years until my kids get in the higher grades. But that's just me. We are also doing homeschool ballet.....(I have all girls! )

P.S.- Good to see you over here.....I'm the one that bought some of your stuff on the WTM board! )

[water2wine]

Ok I got rid of your academic co-op because it sounds like more work and to me it is not as much needed as the fun social co-op. HOD science is easy and I find it easy to add to if I want more. And the funny things is I say this having a minor in Chemistry which I absolutely love. Still seems like if something happens you really have to be there where if something comes up you can miss the fun one and not have issues. To me outside the house academic adds more stress. Anyway that is the reason I picked it. 15 min more of a drive but just easy stuff to add to your life. And I love that it is on Friday. Gives you the three day weekend feel. Anyway that was my reason.

I can tell you this, you have a lot more energy than I do. I can tell by all the things you do. So really only you can decide what is best for you. I would put it up to prayer and ask God for an answer. Maybe He will do it through this post. I hope you find peace on it. I know sometimes deciding can be nerve wracking.

[Kathleen]

It sounds like you really want to keep the academic co-op, and if you think that is the way God is leading your family you should definitely follow His leading.

I however voted for you to ditch it. Personally I am totally content with HOD and feel that it covers everything that my kids need! We are part of a homeschool group in our small rural county. We get together at a park or gym just to play and chat. Now, most of our kids are young. THere are a few 10 and 11 yos, and then a huge group of 8 and 9 yo boys and younger ones. We usually have about 30 kids there. As moms in our group, we feel that we're covering the academics we want to at home, and just want to get together for fun.

I think it's definitely hard to balance how much you're home vs. gone. I like to get out some, but I don't function well when we're running too much. I know that I do well with 1 trip to town besides Sundays for church. There are so many wonderful things that you're saying no to when you say yes to running here and there. Time for your kids to be creative and have big hunks of time to play together. Time to walk through the woods or pasture. TIme to make mud pies and have tea parties. Time to take kittens and puppies on wagon rides. This summer my oldest played baseball and we had to travel up to an hour to the games (some only 15 min), but we really talked about the pros and cons to playing. It's a great sport to learn and enjoy. Teamwork. But, we could have just enjoyed being home and hanging out as a family outside. "Rough hikes" in the woods. Bike rides. I'm not sure which choice we'll make next year.

I totally understand your dilema, and I'm praying right now for clarity for you as you think through your options and what is most important for you to say "Yes" to.

Kathleen

[sarathan]

Ooooh, this sounds like a tough decision! I'm actually in a similar situation this year.... I signed up for two co-ops. One is more academic and one is more "fun". I'm definitely feeling over-scheduled so I totally feel your pain with that. I'm gonna try and stick it out this year with both co-ops but I plan on dropping the academic one next year. My reasoning is that my boys are still very young and I'd rather they have more "fun" at this age. I can tell by your post that you feel inclined to drop the "fun" co-op. If that is what God is leading you to do then there's your answer. However I voted that you drop the academic one only because that's what I plan on doing. I agree with what the pp said about feeling content with HOD covering all the bases. I feel this is all kids really need and everything else is just icing on the cake!

Do your kids have a say at all? Which one would they prefer?

[funkmomma71]

Whew!! I want to take a nap after reading your post!! I don't know how you do it all. I get exhausted just thinking about taking my kiddos for more than one outside activity a week. I think that kids need time to be kids and have FUN, so if it was me I would ditch the academic co-op, but that's me not you... though it doesn't seem as if your are using HOD, so I wonder if maybe you were considering using HOD, that would help you be consistent with science. Ultimately, like all your decisions, this one needs to be brought before the Lord, He will make it clear to you what you should do. Blessings.

[lovetobehome]

Wow, I am so surprised at everyone voting for the social one! How interesting! I wanted to say that we WILL be coming back to HOD as soon as my books arrive, we will be using Preparing. Right now, we are using a bunch of other stuff.
Your responses give me a lot of food for thought. And the thing I love best is that you all reminded me that I need to pray about this and ask for clarity.
We were happy last year doing no co-op...but I do think my kids really love it. My daughter wants to do the friday one; my son sayhs he really enjoys both. I might do both for the semester, if I can possibly do it, since I already paid for both for this fall semester. The academic one required payment for the entire year. But I would like to decide on just one of them for the spring, and know NOW where we are going then---I feel like that will help me have peace knowing what is to come and that this crazy schedule is just for 8 more sessions.
I really, really love this group here, thank you all so much, and please, keep the thoughts coming! I asked my hubby for a mental health day today; he travels a LOT, and I rarely get a chance to be without the kids. Today I plan to go to the library or somewhere quiet and pray and plan and work on some things that have to get done (I teach sunday school and it begins tomorrow and I have to prepare for that, and also I made a silly commitment to make 156 advent calendar ornaments, then I have a potluck tonight, company tomorrow, my hubby's 40th bday party to plan, the list goes on...). Ugh. In August, all these things seemed like such a nice idea...before school began it seemed I had so much time! Now I am wondering what in the world was I thinking!

[ncmomof5]

I had a similar decision to make this summer. Last year I was involved in an academic co op that met 2 full days a week - I'm talking 9:30 - 3:00. My kids loved the social interaction, and my 11 yo dd was getting some good academic stuff, but it was just too much. I also have an almost 10 yo ds, 8 yo ds, 5 yo ds, and a 21 month dd. The younger ones really needed time to be at home working on the basics. I really didn't get enough math done with my 8 yo ds last year because of this co op.

I agonized over whether to drop this co op (it's also 35 minutes from home), but finally felt led to stay home. I, too, am a homebody, and being out too much wears on me. I looked at a co op that meets on Fridays for fun, but decided against it for this semester. I may decide to try it for the next semester. I do want them to have "fun" and be social, but I want to make sure that we can enjoy HOMEschooling, as well.

I, too, voted for the Friday one - my day of choice for a co op. Most of all, pray and ask for God's wisdom. He'll give you peace about which one to keep/drop, etc. I know you want what's best for your kids, and not just for you, but you have to remember that you have limitations, too. HTH

In His love,
RuthAnn

[DHT1999]

Personally, I would drop the academic co-op. I think a HOD program with a bit extra (at home) here or there (not because it's needed but just because there are some things we really love and want to do... like Greek) provides a very full & rich education. I could see doing an academic co-op in high school but I wouldn't consider it necessary for the ages of your children. This is the first year that I've decided to become more involved with our co-ops. I have really limited our involvement in previous years and will continue to do so, but I am adding more for us this year. I had signed my oldest son up for an IEW writing class but it happened to fall at the same time as our PE/Wellness Classes. I decided to drop the IEW, which was painful because I know it would be helpful. But, we don't really have any family for the children to play with and we go to a very small church with just a few children who come regularly. I decided I'd rather him have a fun time to be with other children in a relaxed environment and that the writing with HOD is plenty.

I've decided to limit our involvement in any kind of regular class (something that we have to do every week) to just one thing. That way, I don't mind going on a field trip every once in awhile... things like going to the symphony, nature walks with our group, we just took all the kids to a farm.

So, I voted to drop the academic co-op but really only you can decide what you need to do! I do think HOD is plenty, especially for such young children.

[my3sons]

I'd drop the academic co-op as well. If you are doing all of HOD, you don't need it - and the science is planned in a way that you will get it done (in fact your dc will be the active ones in the science instead of watching you do experiments, etc.).

I think there are seasons for things, based on different needs we have at the time. For 3 years, I hauled my dc to a Coffee Break Bible study that I led (in a city 25 minutes from our home). I taught the class, found care for the dc at church (in fact I trained 4 ladies to teach LHTH to them ), and did a whole bunch of other things I won't list here. It expanded from a group of 5 ladies to 4 groups of ladies - about 55 ladies in total. I had enjoyed it previously, but at that point, it was not a joy for me anymore. I agonized over that decision - as I'm sure you are as well. I handed it over to someone else, and I was sooooooo happy to be back home again. I hadn't realized how tense I'd become about it all.

A similar thing happened for us when my ds played baseball. It started out being 2 in town games a week for 6 weeks (t-ball). The next year, it was more often, had practices, but still in town. The third year, it was going to be a bunch of practices, out of town games, and pretty much the whole summer. Plus, we'd be having my second ds starting t-ball, so we'd be carting the kids to different diamonds in different towns. My dh travels pretty much all of the time, so I wasn't sure how I'd manage being in two places at once without carpooling. We agonized over that decision, but took our kids out of baseball. We've NEVER regretted it. We changed our philosophy to save money and spend it on things we can do at home - an outdoor above ground pool from Walmart on clearance, old little 3 wheelers for each of our dc to ride with my dh, sleds, etc. I toss the baseball around with my ds and he plays it with his cousins now and then. The kids are happy, and I am soooo much less stressed.

I guess I'd reflect on your things carefully. Really, there are NO activities that can't be nixed, and believe me, any activity really can be dropped (it's amazing how things just move on without us when we do quit). So, which ones are really adding stress? It sounds like you're keeping the ballet for your dd, so I'd keep the social co-op for your ds. Beyond that, I'd start dropping things like crazy. I wouldn't wait for a new year either - might as well make the change now and start enjoying it. I know you may have different needs right now, but that's what I'd do. Keep praying about it - it is such an incredible blessing to wake up and be able to stay home to homeschool. It makes the day go so smoothly, and for us, I've found that "norm" to be a huge relief.

In Christ,
Julie

[lmercon]

I also voted to drop the academic co-op and that was BEFORE I read all the responses. HOD is a very full program that will meet the academic needs of kids. If your ds likes science experiments, I suggest you get him a chemistry kit to tinker around with at home. Your kids are still young. I know you want something more rigorous than you feel you can do at home, but I don't think they need that now. Once they are junior or senior high age, that might be a worthwhile endeavor. I would keep the Friday co-op because it does allow the kids some social time with others. My ds goes to a home school gym class, and he loves it! I do know what you mean when it comes to running around and schedules that are hard to keep, but I feel that because I have taken on the responsibility of their education, I have to realize that my life is going to be more hectic than if they went to school all day. I only have two children and they are four years apart. I want them to have outside activities and experiences beyond what I can provide within my four walls. My dd goes to ballet and my ds attends a home school gym class and choir each week. He also has regular play dates every Friday.
Just my measly 2 cents!
Laura

[Tree House Academy]

I think you have academics...errr...more than covered. I would drop the academic co-op.

[jenntracy]

Ditch the academic. Do the fun one. it doesn't sound like a lot of work and the kids get to have fun with friends.

We are actually doing a co-op this year . just 8 weeks 1 day a week. i am in charge of Science. mostly younger but some older too. The co-op is the first one for almost all of us in the co-op, so even that is a learning process.

Anyway, so far it is fun, but 8 weeks is enough for this family. i have to make sure my kids are ready for their little "reports" and my subject.
we do cub scouts and ballet as well and my son does get to see some of those boys outside of scouts.

We need to be at home and not running around and it is just enough for us to meet some new friends and learn how to get along with others in group setting and learn to be comfortable speaking or demonstrating in front of people (no matter how short the report is, my kids are almost 6yrs, 4.5 yrs and 19 months).

Keep it simple . if you get overwhelmed it isn't going to be fun anymore and learning and getting together with others should be

Jenn D.

[lovetobehome]

Well...I have read the responses, and I am so pleased to see the agreement here, it really caused me to think about it differently! We have yet to start HOD, but I am thinking you all are right...we will do the HOD science at home because we DO like it...when I tried HOD before, that was one of my favorite parts, the science notebooking. And as I have thhought more and prayed more today, I realize I am once again elevating the academics above all else. When I looked at the academic classes my son would be likely to get next year, it would be a science, IEW writing, math quiz, and history. I would not do their history because we have religious differences that affect how we look at things. I don't see a need for the math quiz, and I am comfortable teaching writing at home. And you are all right; the more rigorous science can wait until he is older. I don't think I need the academic co-op.
BUT...after some soul-searching, a discussion with my pastor, and my husband, we all separately came to the same conclusion....my husband said a few nights ago that he thinks I should continue with both for the semester. Today, while spending quiet time thinking of it all, I decided the same thing. When I took all the pros/cons to my priest,I expected him to advise me to drop one...but he said he thought it was important for me and as a witness to my children, to keep my commitments. This goes along with my curriculum hopping problem, too, so I can see the wisdom here. I have paid for and committed to the fun co-op only for a 10 week session (2 down, 8 to go!). I had to commit to the academic one for the whole year, but it is only one class that we signed up for, so not quite so consuming time-wise. So, for this semester, I will keep my commitment to both. Come December, I will not renew my participation in the fun one, but I will be committed to the academic one for the spring term. After that, I will either drop both, or try just the fun one on fridays for next year. But I don't have to decide that yet!Until then, I will adjust my expectations of how much we get done in a week at home...since Preparing is a 4 day week, this should help.
I think, spiritually, at this time there is wisdom for me in doing what I signed up for, keeping the commitment even if it is tough. My inclination was to find a way out, but I am satisfied with this outcome for now. It will also encourage me to really think before I commit next time!
I thank you ALL, each and every one of you added something fresh for me to consider, and I feel I have changed my tune from thinking I needed a co-op, to thinking maybe we don't need one at all. And if we do, not to place the higest value here on academics...always a temptation for me! Now, the work is just to adjust to a lighter week at home, and we will enjoy what we have committed to, and be content with that for this season. I am working at contentment in all circumstances!

[water2wine]

I am glad you found a path that brings you peace. Sometimes it is not where we end up as much as how we seek Him in the process. I hope both your classes will be blessed time for you.