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Ok you know that subject line was not designed for me I can never get my words out concisely.

What I was thinking is I am just noticing a trend every where with trials, frustration and overload in hsing in general. Maybe it is because it is a time when everyone is just starting but it seems like more to me. I see it all over on hsing boards everywhere and I am hearing it from friends using all kinds of curriculum. So I thought we could maybe have a thread with things not necessarily related to HOD but to hsing in general that just really made a difference for your family while using HOD. All the major breakthrough things that others may not have thought of but might be blessed to hear them. It can be simple or complex in thought but all of it is in the spirit of what I know to be the truth HOD is the best thing out there period! Even so the enemy can still have his way with us if we allow it and life can just be tough. Let's admit it I am blessed to hs my six and have a perfect fit for us hsing is even at it's best work and this is a journey God takes us on that is not always just about learning for our kids. I often find it involves God's pruning of myself that I think is at least what a big part of it is about beyond educating my kids. And I find myself on my knees often asking if He could prune a little gentler.

So in the spirit to encouragement and lifting each other up would you share your general tips for sanity, peace or anything else that has really been a life saver for you in hsing !Also in the spirit of being encouraging, I know some of you ladies have the gift of organization and some are very detailed but lets try to make it something that even the organizationally challenged, like myself can do. I think this could be helpful to us all. We all need to be lifted up and the Lord calls us to it as believers lift each other up and hsers I think really need that because as Christians I believe we are working against the plan of the enemy. I know it is Carrie and Mike's vision for this board that we do encourage each other in love so I am hoping this off topic thing will be OK. If not I am open to correction.

I will be back with mine, feel free to start. And please share don't leave me hanging by myself.

A few thoughts come to mind. I'll add more as things come to me.

* Train kids early that they can play by themselves, and don't feel guilty about it. They don't need an adult playmate all day, every day.
* Establish mandatory quiet time in bedrooms (or at least away from Mom) every day.
* Train early that Mom warns/reminds one time and then there is a stiff consequence. That "always telling" nagging habit I fall into frequently is so destructive to the proper training of children and to my sanity.
* Start the day as early as you can possibly handle.
* Start your day before the kids are up. Give yourself some quiet time to wake up, sort your thoughts, and sturdy yourself for the coming demands of the day.
* Know when to reach out for help. Don't fall into the super-homeschool-mom trap.
* Allow yourself to take days off.
* Utilize baby sitters.

I'll keep thinking.
Laura

Things that have been huge for me. Mine will be different than others and hopefully we will get a good mix of types of things that will be good for all. Sorry I do not have the gift of conciseness. Skip mine if you find that annoying I just can't help it.

1. To make a list of my hsing goals spiritually for my children and hold those higher than academic goals trusting that if I keep that order God will take care of the academics. This was hard for me because I am a bit of an obsessed over academics (in truth it is an insecurity rather than a perfectionist thing).

2. To ask God specifically how to teach each child. And by that I mean I do not really cater to learning styles I mean God showing me what He wants and how He wants it. I have found that God has shown me things I never would have come up with on my own to get us over humps or comments during my teaching that I know are not my own yet come out of my mouth none-the less. This has been huge in our Bible time, huge for character issues and huge for my child with special needs.


3. To know that I do not have to keep looking or questioning. If God spoke He meant it and I can trust it. He knows all my short comings and He can cover them as long as I am in His will.

4. To let go of my expectations of my children and ask God to show me His expectations. I have found in prayer they are actually different.


5. To realize while my personal Bible reading and devotion is key to every piece of sanity I have and having a good day teaching with my kids BUT I can’t accomplish it in the morning so I do it at night and pray that the Lord will carry it over to the next day even as I sleep. This works for me. If I need a lift I do a quick prayer of praises or turn on some Christian music, sometimes loudly.

6. To know that when life hits and trials come I need to run to Him and pray scripture for strength and sometimes admit to Him I am weak which is hard for me. Probably why He needs to cause things to get me properly on my knees. I see that now and so I am keeping my posture on my knees despite my circumstances. I have pride issues there. Fretting never solves it, prayer always does. Something I try to remember.

7. I confess I am not perfect so I look at ideas people have and ask the Lord is this really for me. If it makes me feel bad about who I am then I am certain it is not and so I take my eyes elsewhere. We almost always compare our weakness to the illusion of the strength in others.

8. To be happy for other people when they find something great that blesses them in hsing in terms of a product but to immediately thank God for what I have on my shelf and know if He wanted it for me He would have told me. I have learned the grass is never greener it just spends more money and takes up space in my shelf that later causes me guilt because it was never used and not what the Lord wanted for me. So now I praise God for their happiness and praise Him for my peace trusting that He will make what is needed known to me personally and for me that will not be by grass analysis. IFYKWIM. This is a very freeing thing I have found.

9. To realize when I get to Heaven and give an account of what I taught the children God entrusted me with there will not be a history cycle test or state standard test to pass but He will ask I believe in essence was knowing Him THE focus. So my decision is each year that Bible and knowing The Lord are my unit study. HOD thankfully partners with me on that.

10. Oh wait I do have ten this one is new! But it has been huge! My dh works late and a lot. So my kids stay up late or else they would never see him during the week. You can adjust your time but at 7:30 the house gets picked up and jamies go on and teeth are brushed faces washed. At 8:00 it is quite time until dad comes home we do it all in the same general area so it actually stays quiet and I do Bible study they do either personal Bible, reading or drawing, nothing that requires anything of me. Voices are whispers and minimal. They can play quiet games as long as there is no bickering but if you bicker your fate is bedtime. This has been a huge blessing to us all. Dh usually gets home anywhere from 9:30-10:30 just to give you an idea of the amount of quite time we are talking about.

What an encouragement, water2wine! Thanks for the post.

The Lord has taught me SO much during the last couple of years since we started homeschooling! Mostly he's been shaping ME , just like you said, w2w. That can be tough! I've had to learn to be much more flexible. My idea of how things would work and reality seemed to be quite a ways apart, and I could either flip out and be very unpleasant to be around since the schedule didn't go my way...or I could yield to the Holy Spirit, adjust, and take another run at the demands of the day. I'd say I've done a fair share of both of those options. My husband's schedule is truly 100% unpredictable with the dairy farm, and that contributed greatly to lack of schedule-following for us. But, after the Lord working on me for a couple years, some very worthwhile communication and cooperation, we have a great plan in place now that I wouldn't have appreciated nearly this much 3 years ago!

My sanity savers:

*My quiet time (Afternoon in the spring/summer/fall. Morning in the winter. Find a time and stick to it!)
*I run 3-4 miles a day, weather permitting. (It has to be really muddy or cold to keep me in!)
*I mow the lawn (3 hours where I can't hear anyone else - and can think uninterrupted)
*We start our day with a hug.
*Follow a routine (unless the Lord is using a lack of one to shape you . It seriously does take away the need for you to use mental/emotional energy to decide what everyone needs to be doing constantly.
*Talk to another adult occasionally
*Look at character/sin issues in your kids' lives as a chance to point them to the Savior. I need to be reminded of this opportunity rather than see it as a inconvenience.
*I've changed my expectation for how neat my house is. Clutter drives me batty, so I keep that down. But, we're here all day every day, and I'm totally ok with it looking like it.
*Communicate and make a plan with your husband!

In teaching:

*Alternating boxes that are "inspirational" (history, poetry, Bible, storytime, music) with those that are "disciplinary" (one right answer things - math, English,...) I hope those are the right words. It's helping our flow this year!
*Momentum - Keep the day moving from box to box. We don't rush, but I don't elaborate on the boxes either. We do what's there and enjoy it fully, and move right along.
*I don't add anything but music practice to our normal days. HOD is enough and we enjoy it just as it is!

Kathleen

I just wrte a VERY LENGTHY response here, pouring out my struggle...but I lost it! I will try again tomorrow, off to bed now. I can't wait to read more responses, and reread the ones already here!

Ok, you said tips for peace and sanity...so here goes.

This isn't specifically related to the HOD curriculum, but homeschooling in general. We have always had a problem getting started in the morning, especially getting dressed. I have one daughter that is so picky about what she wears and it used to drive me crazy. This year I decided to put the girls in uniforms. I let them pick out the style and they chose white tops and navy blue skirts. Problem SOLVED!!! It saves so much time in our morning routine, and they just look so nice. I honestly think this puts them in the "mindset" to do school. Plus, as an added bonus, they love changing into play clothes after they finish school for the day.

With five kids running around, sometimes it's necessary to have a 10 minute clean up. I am not a neat freak, and it's easy to let the house go, but I'm finding a messy house just makes me crazy. We're working on that that year. Ten minutes can do wonders to any room.

We recently added recess. That's a big hit!!!

For me personally, I always feel my best when I shower and get ready for the day before the kids get up.

I have this mindset every single day, and this is really key for me, especially with a 2 year old, -- and that is to expect interruptions. As I write this, I just have to praise the Lord, because I think he's given me more patience this year than I"ve ever had. We start our school day at 9 a.m. I'm doing LHTH with my four year old, Beyond with my first graders, and Beyond left/Bigger right/DITHOR with my second grader. So we do the left side in the mornings, and the right side in the afternoons. With an hour for lunch, a half hour of recess, and all the interruptions, we don't finish until 3 p.m. It isnt' constant school by any means, that that's the general timeframe of our day.

An attitude of thankfulness always helps. From the Psalms, "This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it." (reference escapes me)

I am so THANKFUL I can homeschool my children. I am so thankfor for HOD.

Blessings,

Joy

water2wine wrote:
9. To realize when I get to Heaven and give an account of what I taught the children God entrusted me with there will not be a history cycle test or state standard test to pass but He will ask I believe in essence was knowing Him THE focus. So my decision is each year that Bible and knowing The Lord are my unit study. HOD thankfully partners with me on that.

W2W, I agree!!!

Ok, I am back to write a little more, because I want some accountability and some help! I have made a bad habit of curriculum-hopping. I have bought and tried everything, it has given me the ability to really help others when they have questions about what a curriculum is like, that is the only positive thing I can say about it. I know this is very destructive...for me. Nevermind the academics being switched around all the time. The real danger is in my never being content, always seeking something else, constantly researching instead of focusing on what is in front of me (namely, my children! And my Lord!). I spend way too much time switching things. I am sure part of it is an insecurity....uncertain if I am doing a 'good eough' job preparing my children. If I read or hear a criticism of a curriculum I am using, it sends me into a frantic search for something else. This is ridiculous, and I know that in my head, but it has become a bad habit!
My tip here would be for us to NOT switch curriculum. I hope I can follow this, I need prayer and accountability! But I think it creates undue stress, worrying, and a lot of wasted energy. It takes our focus off of our children and off of the Lord.
I started using HOD a year or so ago, and I know the Lord affirmed to me that HOD was the choice for us. I will save that story for another time. But, I became restless and switched and have tried several other things since then. I am back to HOD, and I really hope I can be obedient this time and stay here. It is hard for me to stick with anything, but I feel convicted that I must.
I know I am not the only one with this problem, so I thought I would mention this again here in the hopes of encouraging someone else, and also in the hopes that you will pray for me and help remind me of this when I get tempted to focus on the books instead of on my children and what God has called me to....
More in a bit! Off to eat breakfast, my son made me pancakes!

I am loving reading these responses. We all go through similar things and I am learning some ideas and getting encouragement, yeah! Can't wait to see what others reply!

lovetobehome I want to thank you especially for sharing your heart. Your post brought tears to my eyes. I have been there in a huge way. And you are right it is common. I went through a long period of praying for contentment. This was before God lead me to HOD. I think part of what God taught me was that I really did not know what contentment looked like in a lot of areas of life. I think it can go alongside in hsing that the planning can be more I will say empowering in a way than the doing . When you plan it is "working" It is "good" and you are "successful". When you then do and it is not God directed other thoughts, other voices can take His place and then you can feel discontent. But do you know what I figured out. It is far more "empowering" to say "Lord I am turning it all over to you. I can't do it on my own. I can't be confident in my own ways or even my own choices or even abilities, the task is too big. So I am turning it over to you and I will pray for contentment from you and admit you are the only true source." Do you know what I am happy as a clam. If I have a bad day it is not what I am using I know that because I clearly heard God in my choices and He is faithful and He does not waver. So knowing that I can simply pray to Him for solutions and He will show me things, great and wonderful things I could never know on my own. It may be something He makes me realize or a great idea from a mind that works differently than mine. I am in complete awe of His faithfulness and how much He has blessed my entire family with HOD and allowing myself to look to the true source of contentment and answers. The task is too big on our own. So I want you to know I will pray for you. I know first hand what a battle this can be.

But there is another huge thing and I just say it this way for me, "You have to bring contentment to the party or else nobody is going to dance." And I think that is learned for a lot of people myself included. I think contentment has to be your dance partner and God has to be your music and composer then no matter what happens you are set. If the storms come, if words hit harshly , if your kids have character issues , if you find yourself having character issues , if life takes over and you get off track...it all can still work. And one very freeing realization is that if I ask God, listen, then obey and have an attitude of contentment not only will He make contentment real for me but the actual results are in His hands!

KEEP POSTING I am loving your insights ladies!

Thanks so much for sharing ladies!

These are great tips and I hope more of you will share.

Lovetobehome, I totally understand about "always looking for something better"! I have also dabbled in HOD in the past and am back! One of the things that really drew me back here is the support that Carrie and Julie offer. You just can't find the kind of guidance they offer on other boards. I am so thankful that I have internet access so that I can ask them questions when I am wondering about something!

This is such a great thread! Thanks Mommyintraining, for starting it. Although at this moment I do not have much to add to it, it has been a huge encouragement to me as I start my hs'ing day today on a rainy Monday (at least here in MI). I really was encouraged by Water2wine's point about making God's expectations for our children our expectations. Also lovetobehome hit on a big one for me and that is contentment with all areas of life including hs'ing. That is a huge struggle for me. Well, my kids are stirring and I better wake them up for the day. Thanks all of you. I have really enjoyed and been uplifted by your comments.

This is a great topic! Let me say first that my oldest is the first one to wake up (usually 6 am sharp), so it's hard to get up before him. That being said, since noone is up, he turns on tv and it's sometimes hard to get the tv turned off after that (little 3 yr old bro. wants to watch too!).

I could relate to the post about jumping to other curriculums. It really messed our hs up, especially with phonics because it seems like all programs are completely different. Then I read that a particular curriculum was "advanced" and I was very familiar with it, so I paid out a bunch of money to buy it and found out compared to our public school, the curriculum I'm using is behind a couple of years (in our ps you start algebra in 7th grade unless you are a slow learner in math). Ugghhhhh!!!

Sanity for me?? I have to laugh at that one but really helps is having the weeks curriculum plans planned out on Sunday as well as dinner menus planned out. If I don't have dinner menus planned out, we'll end up eating out too much and feel yucky about it afterwards.

Keep on top of laundry daily (with a few days to the exception) and do 2 loads a day in the early morning, so I can hang the laundry out to dry and get it dried and put away for dh comes home. Other wise, I feel guilty about not getting my "work" done and my loving husband will help put it away (which he is totally fine with but I feel guilty).

My boys and I rest in the afternoon for about 1 1/2 hrs to 2 hrs. Then it's play time.

We have regular bedtime routines, unless it's scout/church night. We read different books but we include, Goodnight Moon, every night for my little one.

I'm really enjoying this but I'm off to grade math.

Hugs,
Pam

playschool wrote:This is such a great thread! Thanks Mommyintraining, for starting it.

We have Water2Wine to thank for starting it, I just wanted to bump it up . I agree, it is a great thread !

This is such a wonderful topic - thanks w2w for starting it! All of life is about learning what is most important, what works best for our own particular family putting unhealthy comparisons aside, and what to let go of to make things go more smoothly. I have learned these things one step at a time, and as we read each other's lists - I think that's important to remember - we didn't magically wake up knowing and understanding all of these things. Instead, it's probably taken years - even decades - to figure them out, and I bet in another few years/decades we'll have more insight to add to these lists. Here are my best tips for PEACE and SANITY - and I will add JOY to the list because that is something I am striving for in life as well.

*Think of homeschooling as a job, a high calling, and my most important thing to accomplish in a day. Share my faith at every opportunity with my dc (and dh).
*Have a quiet time with God sometime during the day. I try in the morning, but if I miss that, I don't go to bed without having done it. I make reading the Bible a part of this time as well as prayer. Also, when my relationship with God isn't right, nothing is right. If God is with me, who can be against me? When He is by my side, I am not alone.
*Stop answering the phone, being on the computer, having the t.v. on, etc. during homeschooling time.
*Limit my dc's social events. Our family is responsible for socializing my dc - we can be social together and have fun with this.
*Plan a schedule for each of the dc and stick to it. School is like my dc's job right now - and it is meant to be completed in a timely fashion, while still enjoyed.
*Know my needs - right now, I need one night away from home each week. I usually go out to eat with my sister one night a week, and we often watch a movie after that. I also need an errand afternoon since my dh does not run errands and is often traveling overnight on business. I have hired a homeschool teenager to watch the dc one afternoon each week. I get groceries and put all of my appointments during this time (haircut, dentist, doctor, chiropractor, etc.).
*Keep dating my dh - I try for twice a month, but it's usually once a month. This helps us stay in touch and be a couple dating again rather than just "mom" and "dad".
*Organize my home so it is conducive to homeschooling and our needs right now.
*Take time off in the summer for big projects and for training for the dc for things outside of school (i.e chores, routines, character issues, etc.).
*Have a simple breakfast/lunch menu that rotates.
*Have dc have an early bedtime. We've always done this - we start at 7:30 PM, talk a bit together, pray, I put toddler to bed, and then the older dc enjoy quiet time in their rooms until 9 PM (which they've grown to love). This is key for me. My dh is often gone, and this time gives me my sanity. If my dh is home, it's time for him to unwind too - and also time for us to catch up with each other.
*Pick a few close Christian friends and choose them carefully. Who I surround myself directly impacts how I behave. I only have a few friends I am close with, and they are wise ladies that lead me back to God in times of trouble. They don't allow me to be a complainer - they help me fix problems in a Godly way.
*Don't get caught up in gossiping about others or complaining - this means on the phone, on the computer, in person, etc. I think this is a tough one for most women. I have to make a concentrated effort to change the subject when someone is gossiping, and also make a concentrated effort NOT to complain and gossip myself. This only brings me and others down, and it is a sin. We all think someone else has the better life sometimes - the better house, the better husband, better kids, a better figure, a better relationship with God, a better God-given purpose in life, - oh this comparison stuff is destructive and it is NOT from God. When I choose to be positive, life looks better to me, and life IS better. No one has a perfect life, so it makes sense to quit wishing for someone else's life and make the very best of mine. This gives me PEACE and contentment and JOY.
*Take time to look nice. This means doing my hair, putting on some makeup from time to time, and wearing flattering clothes that fit. When I'm "put together', I feel more "put together", and my dh appreciates this too.

Thanks for starting this thread, and I have enjoyed what has been shared here so much already, and I am looking forward to all of the wise words still to come I'm sure!

In Christ,
Julie