Is this normal???

[cdrx4]

I am having issues with my ds who is 9 and doing Bigger. I took him out of pcs ( private christian school) and this is our first year homeschooling. He is a straight A student and was asked to be in the gifted program at that...however, with our homeschooling efforts has come hardships. He does not want to do ANYTHING (subject wise) with out me. He is almost like working with a blank slate....I dont know if its a focus issue I know he knows his work but he he takes so much time to do something. Most of the work we have done is review from the year prior and he doesnt remember it....I dont know maybe its me and my teachings. But when he left school at the end of the year last year he was a bright child and now he is down on himself, no confidence in anything he does and I fear I am hurting him....He doesnt want to go back to school we have already had that discussion, but I dont know how to get him motivated! This work in Bigger is not "bigger than he is" , he can do this work!!
Whew.....I feel as though an anchor has just been lifted off of me...thanks for being an ear!!
Please pray that my son will find his grove and confidence in himself. It saddens me to hear him say all the time that he cannot do it, he is just not good at it, or he is just not smart enough, when he really is, he just needs to find that confidence!

[water2wine]

Well I think it can be normal coming out of a structured school environment. I took four out mine out of ps and I was shocked at how much they had been taught but did not actually know. It was a struggle to not only get school done but to figure out where the homes were in what they had actually learned and what they forgot or just never learned. The teaching is different. There is not that one on one that customizes it to the child even in a smaller setting. What I found is that in the beginning we had to really slow it down and let them re learn some things. I had to go back a step in math and LA and just let that be OK. I also had to really deal with my own expectations. I wish we had found HOD first but unfortunately we did not. I would suggest slowing Bigger down a bit maybe doing it at half paced. Look at where you have him at LA and math and see if it really fits his current knowledge throwing out what he had been taught previously and go from there. After I got a good fit for current level on LA and Math (and let them know grade means nothing because hsing is often ahead of even private) I would focus on that at full speed at the new level but slow down the rest of the program to half paced. That I think will help bring the confidence back. And I am going to be honest when you pull your child out of school it can a good chunk of time into an easy groove. I would give it at least six months. Don't worry about being on level or one speed. Just help to build the confidence back. This can be true even for a child that is what the school would call "gifted".

So yes I would say it can be very normal. HOD is a perfect spot for you becasue you can customize. If you have him in the program as written LA and Math that he is getting are far different than probably what he has ever seen. You might drop back a little and let him adjust. I hope that helps a bit. BTDT and it is worth it. Just hang in there. I never in a million years thought my kids would be where they are now from where they were when I pulled them out.

[my3sons]

I think this is normal when coming out of ps. In ps, he probably was a "star" - I'm sure the teachers loved him because he was a straight "A" student and could be counted on to complete his work. This kind of ranking can be a confidence booster for dc, and can sometimes become like caffeine - they need it to feel like they are doing well. I remember feeling like that when I went to college. From the time I'd begun school to the end of high school, I'd been an "A" student and hadn't had to work all that hard to be one. When I got to college, I was surrounded by people that got straight A's, and I had to work a whole lot harder than some of them to get A's. I also was no longer talented enough to play in the band, play competitive sports, or sing in the best choir. This deflated my confidence for awhile. I wonder if your ds is having to work a little harder in school this year than he's used to, and also if he doesn't have the rest of the kids in the class to compare himself to and see he's doing better than most of them? This habit of comparing can take a long time to fix, but it is a worthwhile one to work on. The fact is we are all fearfully and wonderfully made in the Lord's image. Your ds will continue to see that this year under your loving guidance.

I think I'd slow it down and do it half-speed for a few weeks or even a month, and work on boosting his confidence by being very encouraging. Perhaps get him some special stickers (since he's probably used to that), and give him lots of hugs, hang his work on the fridge, show daddy it when he gets home - all of this will work to replace the positive reinforcement he was receiving for his work in school. If you slow it down to half-speed, I'd make it a positive thing - like, "I saw some HOD families like to take school half-speed at first to really enjoy it together and savor the time with their dc. I really liked that idea and want to have fun doing it with you that way", as opposed to, "Since this has been a struggle for you, we have to drop it back to half-speed until you catch up." NOT that you would say it the latter way, but I've found if I don't pick my words for a change such as this carefully, I can mess up my dc's attitude about it before we've even started. Don't worry too much about this - it's just going to take him some time to adjust to homeschooling. That doesn't mean homeschooling isn't great - it's just sort of like he's got a new job, and that takes some time to get used to. Sometimes I hated old jobs, but would almost go back to them in lieu of starting a new job just because starting a new job is scary - it's the unknown of it, the unfamiliarity of it. That's probably what your ds is feeling, but it won't last forever. Soon, he'll be loving his new job and thanking God he doesn't have to go back to the old one! I hope something here helps!

In Christ,
Julie

[Carrie]

The ladies have already given you pearls of wisdom that hopefully will help on your homeschool journey! Most moms who take their kiddos out of a public or Christian school setting share that it takes 6 months to a year to "decompress" while their kiddos figure out what their new school life at home looks like and where they fit. So, be encouraged that you are not alone.

I agree that it would be so worthwhile to take a good look at what is taking so long in his day. Here's a list of time guidelines for Bigger Hearts that will help you gauge this: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=4517
And another link: viewtopic.php?f=12&t=702

Then, check his math and language arts placements to see if he is in the right fit there. Normally, we'd recommend that a third grader do Rod and Staff English 2 and a fourth grader do Rod and Staff English 3. For math, if you are using Singapore, you may wish to give the placement test linked here to make sure he is placed correctly there. Typically even mathy kiddos back up a semester or a year when switching to Singapore math: http://www.singaporemath.com/Placement_Test_s/86.htm

Then, it would likely be a good idea to shift Bigger Hearts back to doing left side one day and right side the next day for a month or so, easing up to full-speed as he finds his groove.

Another thing that helps motivate my boys is having scheduled breaks during the day to blow off some steam. So, you may wish to schedule a long morning recess (we often do 45 min.), a computer break (where he can do an educational game), a lunch where you read aloud to him while he eats (we typically do the storytime box of our plans then and with Bigger Hearts we did the hymn singing together right before lunch). Or, he could have a snack break in the morning if that fits in with your family's rules on that... anything that shows him that being home has its perks and is much less rigid than school.

You also may wish to check to see whether you are hovering over him. I know that when I first began to homeschool my oldest son (after teaching in the public school classroom for 11 years ), I caught myself hovering over my son thinking his work was taking forever! So, it may help you to give the assignment, get him started, set the timer near him so he's accountable and go do something else for a bit. Check back after 5-7 min. to see if he needs anything, but make it a point not to stand over him.

Hopefully, something in here will help!

Blessings,
Carrie