Question about possible ADHD daughter........

[christyg]

Hi ladies! We finished our first week of LHFHG today (we are going to try to do a 4-day week and school year around). I would say that we had a pretty smooth week, when we got past the nerves .

I have a question for all of you who have children who have been diagnosed ADHD. I have a very sweet and very bright almost 6 year old (Sept 1st) daughter who I suspect might have this. We have another son who will turn 4 in Oct. They are literally like night and day! She is my shy one, but at the same time my most dramatic and he is my social bug and the very relaxed one. Anyway, there have been several times over the last couple of years that I kind of thought to myself "she must be ADD". But, I always just pushed that thought out of my mind and chalked it up to her age and the fact that she has always done better on a routine. I couldn't even tell you the times that we have made excuses for her behavior like "she just didn't get a nap today" or "we've been off our routine".

Anyway, it didn't hit me that this was a real possibility until this week that she may actually have this. As we went through the lessons each day, she had a really hard time focusing and paying attention. I mean, I would start to read the first sentence in her history book, and she would already be pointing at something else on the page or trying to flip past that page. And, with every box we started, she would be asking about what we were going to be doing next. She also can't sit still.

I looked on our pediatrician's website and they had a couple of lengthy explanations along with some of the symptoms. My husband and I talked about it last night. We agreed that she had a definite majority of the symptoms. It actually made me feel a little better because if this is indeed what she has, I can now understand why we have had problems with her in the past and why some of the discipline we have tried doesn't always work with her. Honestly, I don't know if I should even take her to the doctor about it, because I do not want to have to medicate her, and I also don't want any labels put on her. I would rather try behavior changes. I just wanted to get some opinions on it.

Also, since this is our first week with HOD, is this the right type of curriculum for us if she indeed has this, and if so, how should I schedule things during the day for her with it? Should I alter some of the activities and add in others? Should I break up the blocks and not do them all at once? Even with the problems that I noticed, I still think that we had a pretty good week. I am just worried about her retaining the info. She was very sweet about it, she just had a hard time. I did keep the distractions down, no TV or no music. I even had my son to go play in another room where she wouldn't be distracted by him.

This has actually made me feel even more sure that we have made the right decision to homeschool her because she would probably be having problems in public school with it. Sorry for the long post, any help from you ladies would be so appreciated! Thanks!

Christy

[zookeeperof3monkeys]

Hi Christy,
The public school wanted to diagnose my son as add/adhd. I refused to let him be tested. I don't like labeling children, with my son's personality he'd use it as a crutch for the rest of his life. The two main things that have made a huge change in my son's behavior is diet and routine.

I borrowed from the library this book, The ADD nutrition solution : a drug-free thirty-day plan by Marcia Zimmerman. Basically, you find out what your child's trigger's are and then avoid them. It's worked well for us, a lot of kids have trouble with red food coloring, my son has trouble with caramel coloring ( think Coke and Pepsi) There are many books out there about this, that is just the book that I personally used. I also found this website to be very helpful, http://www.healthcentral.com/adhd/educa ... ldren.html

Making and sticking to a routine has been crucial for my child, and hard for me as I am a fly by the seat of my pants person. HOD has been great for my wiggly son. He loves Bible time, doing sit ups and push ups. I took that a step further and several times throughout the day, I'll have him run three laps around the inside of the house, or do 20 jumping jack's....the 2 yr old cheers him on.. My son call's it " Drill Sgt.Mommy Time." I do break up the boxes, we usually do two boxes, then take a "Drill Sgt. Mommy" break.

We also ALWAYS take a recess for 30-45 mins, in the winter we take recess at the YMCA. HOD is absolutely the best curriculum for wiggly kids, ask me how I know! Of course there are many great things about HOD as you know, but I desperately needed something to get the wiggles out and this works very well for us.

I hope that helped to give you some ideas. If I can help in any way, please let me know.

[sharonb]

I don't have children diagnosed with ADHD, but dh and I agree that if our 6-year-old were going to public school, his teacher would probably want to test him! With him, sugar definitely has an impact! He rarely sits still in his chair to do his work. He is usually standing on the chair leaning over the table. As long as he is actually doing his work, I don't care.

And one more thing- my Grandma is buying us a mini-trampoline that has a handle on it for Christmas. I plan to let the children use it to get their wiggles out periodically during our school days!

In my opinion, if you aren't wanting to medicate (we certainly aren't), then testing shouldn't be done. Try changes in diet and routine first.

[gotpeace91]

My oldest ds had a teacher who wanted him tested for ADHD and we refused. I found the book
Ritalin Is Not The Answer: A Drug-Free, Practical Program for Children Diagnosed with ADD or ADHD and this helped. You can search this book on Amazon and find many more on the same subject. I think that you will find that reading books written by people who have the same viewpoint about drugs as you to be very helpful. Depending on the severity of the symptoms each family has to follow the course that they feel is best.

Leah

[striving2Bprov31]

Hello, there!

Our son fits the mold very well for ADD--just one of the reasons we decided hschooling was best for him. It has been!! The classroom setting became overwhelming for him to manage. As soon as we brought him home he began taking a 180 degree turn for the better, and we've never looked back!

You mentioned taking her in for a possible diagnosis. What we learned through our research, as well as our own experience, TOO MANY doctors just jump to the diagnosis of adhd if it seems like an obvious choice. What I learned is that there are about a dozen other conditions that a child can have that mimic the symptoms of adhd--hearing problems(that go unnoticed), vision problems, and the list goes on. If you take her in for evaluation (which definitely has its place) be very cautious and careful in choosing whose advice and diagnosis you heed. Be wary of professionals who jump to a diagnosis after an evaluation that is quick or not very thorough---or an evaluation made where the other possible conditions are not considered. Also, look out for a doctor who begins talking about medication in the first several visits.

About medication, our son's symptoms have been able to be completely controlled by his environment. We were informed of the side effects of medicating children--stunted growth, weight loss, and many others. The idea of doing that broke our hearts, so our son has never been on medication and is doing great. In fact, as a testimony, after bringing him home for school, putting a solid schedule in place, balancing work and play, and creating an environment he can thrive in, he became symptom free after about 2-3weeks. Everything improved-academics and behavior.

The website www.christianadhd.com is an AWESOME resource for any mental health issues.
Hope this helps!!

Praying God's wisdom for you,

Liz
dh of 11yrs.
dd9, ds7, ds3, ds7months

[krismoose]

My dh and I have had this conversation about our ds since he was 2.5. We feel blessed that we had made the decision to homeschool prior to noticing some of his issues, as he would definitely have trouble learning in public school (I used to work a speech therapist in the ps system.) We have started LHFHG and our experience so far has been that he really benefits from the intentionally short lessons, some of which already have large motor activities built in. I agree with the comments about a schedule...develop one and make it the rule rather than the exception...we've found that after getting a solid routine down for several weeks, "off-days" aren't nearly as crazy as they used to be, probably because they're less common now. You certainly could break up the boxes more if you need to, just be consistent. I've found in work in schools as well as at home now, keeping a consistent order of events is more important than when we start/stop.

The other thing that we found in our extensive research about discipline, is that many, many Christian parents of kids with ADD/ADHD comment that discipline "doesn't work." If you read your proverbs regarding children, you will see it is very clear that we are called to be consistent, regardless of what methods your family uses. What struck me the most about reading many people's comments (elsewhere) is that they seemed to imply that the Bible applied to other people's children, but not their own. God did not say it would be easy, but He does promise to hear our prayers and never leave us or forsake us. This really strengthened us to go to the Word about this issue.

We have spoken about our concerns with our pediatrician, mainly because we want him to have a good picture of our ds, but we were clear that we didn't want to pursue any outside intervention at this point. The book Why ADHD Doesn't Mean Disaster by Swannberg was good to read because it was from a Christian, meds-aren't the-only-answer perspective. The book No Mind Left Behind by Cox is useful for understanding what makes certain situations harder for those with weak attention/executive control skills, regardless of diagnosis, and how you can adjust the environment and demands to meet you child's needs. I hope some of this helps...be encouraged that God knows what's going on with your family and will give you peace and confidence when you take your concerns to the cross

[spidermansmum]

My son has aspergers and ADHD- its not true ADHD more a part of the Aspergers.He CAN concentrate for a long time on something of his choosing,the trouble with Aspergers is directing them out of their obsessiveness.Our reading lessons were particularly difficult because it was directed attention away from what he was naturally engrossed in.We found short lessons in HOD helped alot.Its easy to see ADHD or Aspergers as a negative,a mistake .*I *dont believe God makes mistakes,so *I *am left with God designed my son to have Aspergers and Adhd,He has a plan for my child.I am *choosing* to see this as a blessing.Now last year my DH bought some camping solar lights.He took them to the youth camp where it passed away the days while everyone had a go at getting these solar lights to work.He came back from camp and put them in the garden convinced they were unworkable.Within minutes my Aspie had figured out how to get them working.Inside if you took it apart - on the underside was a switch.The switch was black like the rest of the underside.My point is maybe 'For such a time as this' we are going to need the people who see life very differently .With that in mind ,my task is not to normalise my son or to ignore how he has been created.My job as a parent is to find each childs strengths and work with that.I think ADHD and Aspergers call for some different tools as far as disciplining and raising my son that I needed to find with his four siblings.Im not letting things slide,I am realistic about what I should expect from him and look at the child as a whole,as God created him to be .

[christyg]

Thanks ladies for all of the good advice. I think that we have decided to hold off on taking her to the doctor. We definitely don't want to medicate her if at all possible. I am definitely going to pick up some books and read up on other ways to help this. She is not out of control, just a little tough sometimes to deal with. We have always been on a pretty good routine, you know, same time up every morning, same bedtime every night, same meal times, etc. I think that I just need to structure some more activities to get some of the energy out during the day. Also, she still needs a short nap everyday, but doesn't want one, so I need to help her with some down time. She loses it around 7:00 in the evening when she hasn't had some rest.

In what order do you think I need to do the boxes in LHFHG? Should I do the storytime first? We have been doing everything just like it is written in the book............how many of you "tweak" what's in the guide? She is having more trouble with the storytime and the history reading. She has always loved being read to, and actually "reads" a lot of books to her little brother. Is she just retaining the other books because they have a lot of pictures or because its something that she picked out? We did 4 days of the Reddy Fox book this week and she couldn't even tell me his name by the end of the week. This is just so unlike her. She isn't having any problems with the workbook stuff and she loves the Reading Lesson, which she is just flying through.

Thanks so much again!
Christy

[spidermansmum]

- If your struggling with the read alouds I would aim for a time when you can keep it distraction free and give your undivided attention [We struggled with the reading lesson- we chose breakfast time because Daddy could entertain the toddler there was very little noise or distractions going on]
I also made a little stuffed animal for him to act out what was happening in the story.I stopped often and had him answer a question like what happens next .I also photocopied some of the pictures from the book so he could colour as he listened.

[Tansy]

As I child i was miss wiggle distractible, ect. I did have dyslexia and short term memory loss but in todays society I would have been labeled ADD.

My Mom found nuts to be helpful in calming me down and no red dye... environmental things can effect your child.
I think the ladies here have given you great advice. Most Adhd can be controlled/avoided/ compensated for with out meds if you can find the trigger.

Happy hunting.
Tansy

[gotpeace91]

My son has aspergers and ADHD- its not true ADHD more a part of the Aspergers.He CAN concentrate for a long time on something of his choosing,the trouble with Aspergers is directing them out of their obsessiveness.Our reading lessons were particularly difficult because it was directed attention away from what he was naturally engrossed in.We found short lessons in HOD helped alot.Its easy to see ADHD or Aspergers as a negative,a mistake .*I *dont believe God makes mistakes,so *I *am left with God designed my son to have Aspergers and Adhd,He has a plan for my child.I am *choosing* to see this as a blessing.Now last year my DH bought some camping solar lights.He took them to the youth camp where it passed away the days while everyone had a go at getting these solar lights to work.He came back from camp and put them in the garden convinced they were unworkable.Within minutes my Aspie had figured out how to get them working.Inside if you took it apart - on the underside was a switch.The switch was black like the rest of the underside.My point is maybe 'For such a time as this' we are going to need the people who see life very differently .With that in mind ,my task is not to normalise my son or to ignore how he has been created.My job as a parent is to find each childs strengths and work with that.I think ADHD and Aspergers call for some different tools as far as disciplining and raising my son that I needed to find with his four siblings.Im not letting things slide,I am realistic about what I should expect from him and look at the child as a whole,as God created him to be .

That was a great story, Sam! I love your attitude!

Leah

[gotpeace91]

I think that I just need to structure some more activities to get some of the energy out during the day. Also, she still needs a short nap everyday, but doesn't want one, so I need to help her with some down time. She loses it around 7:00 in the evening when she hasn't had some rest.

In what order do you think I need to do the boxes in LHFHG?

I think you have some great ideas here, Christy. Maybe you could try a good rousing game of whiffle ball, kickball, or playing on the trampoline or something to get her worn out before you do storytime. I like Sam's idea of creating coloring pages to go with the story. I have found that my ds is paying attention the most when his hands are busy with something. I think this is what actually helps him listen.

Leah

[my3sons]

What good advice the ladies have given here, Christy! I agree medicating is very rarely the answer, which means working on forming new habits and learning new skills will be a more proactive way to handle your precious bundle of energy.

I had difficulty with my ds remembering Reddy Fox at first too, and it took him a bit to listen attentively to the history readings too. In my ds's case, he had not yet learned to listen to books with fewer pictures yet. This was a skill he needed time to grow into. After about a month or more, he began to love the Thorton Burgess books, and he also would run to get the history books ready for me. He continued to get better at this skill and retain more information as the year went by. Here's an excerpt from a past post I had...
...my ds actually said, "Why is Reddy Fox wearing a dress?" while looking at a picture of Granny Fox. I told him that was Granny Fox, and he said, "You're kidding. There are TWO foxes - I didn't know that." Granny Fox is a big part of that story, so I was less than thrilled he'd forgotten her.

We'd missed some days due to doctor's appointments, and I think that added to the above confusion, but I just wanted to encourage you that it took Riley some time to develop this habit of listening. Now, the Thorton Burgess books are some of his favorites - in fact, he wants to have them to read on his own in his room now. I have also often referred to my little Riley (lovingly ) as my "little rocket ready to launch", and he still has a hard time sitting still for any length of time. But, he has learned to love listening to books with few pictures - not always sitting still - but always with an attentive ear amidst the wiggles. HTH!

In Christ,
Julie

[Carrie]

Christy,

The moms have done a terrific job of sharing their wise ideas and experiences with you. I just wanted to chime in on the last part of your questions about Reddy Fox by linking you to a past thread on this board that will really help. Make sure to read the thread through to the end, as Dorla came back months later and posted an update:
viewtopic.php?f=6&t=126

Blessings,
Carrie