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I just got a call from the dr. that my son has autism. She had thought at the first visit it was PDD-NOS, but after further evaluation it is autistic disorder I am really bummed out here. It is a step up with the autism and I guess I just wasn't prepared for it. I had been doing all this research on PDD-NOS, which is less server than autism. UGG! Now how do I do LHFHG with him? I was planning on doing it at half-pace with him, but worry now if I will be able to do all he needs. I don't even know where to start! The darn school has questioned me so much this past year with my older children and homeschooling I am now questioning if I can do this with my son who is autistic! I should not let this doubt bother me because in my heart I still feel that homeschooling is the best thing, but the dr. also recommended that I have him go to ps for the first two years and then home school if I still feel like we want to. I don't want to send him at all! But like before wonder if I can do this now and if I will be doing him a disservice by not sending him? I was planning on having him go to speech therapy and OT as our insurance will cover that, but I have no idea how to handle the special ed. and all their special ways they work with kids. I never went to college. I am kind of freaking out here. Can I really do this? I have an older child ,who is 9, with a learning disability in reading and writing, one that 7 and is doing just fine with school, then my son, almost 6, who is autistic, a four year old, two year old and a 3 1/2 month old. How do I home school all of them and give them the time and attention they need but still care for the others to and have some time for myself? Oh I just don't know! Any one else have an autistic child? I should mention he has high functioning autism and each kid is different no two are the same each makes it harder for me in research because not one method will work for all kids with autism. So I really don't wow where to start. Sorry if I seem all over the place but I am trying to nurse one ,get the others to do their chores and type at the same time and forget what I am doing sometimes!

Sheila mom to six amazing kids!

spidermansmum's son is autistic I believe. So I really hope she'll chime in. They just did LHFHG this past year. I am sorry for the diagnosis not being what you expected. (((hugs))))

yayadaisy wrote: I should mention he has high functioning autism and each kid is different no two are the same each makes it harder for me in research because not one method will work for all kids with autism.

Take a deep breath! Just as a mom with a special needs child that took on the ps system and I mean literally my picture is probably still a dart board in the teachers lounge, I have found that my daughters needs are best met at home. In general what you have said really says it all. With 8 plus kids to deal with they do not have the time to decipher how your child learns best in the ps setting. Now if your child needs OT and Speech go for it. Private care is the best you will get and your insurance covers it. In ps what we found is either your child is mainstreamed with help now and then having the special ed teacher in the classes and there are not enough of them to have it work this way or they are stuck in a class with 8 other special needs children all with different needs. They do not have the resources or the time to customize something for your child's specific needs. I really want to encourage you that if you can get to the emotional state where you can be confident that God gave you the children He meant to when He called you to homeschool and so therefore He will equip you and carry you through, then proceed as planned. The only difference is now you have knowledge that can help. Beyond that it is a lot of trial and error with core subjects where they stumble like math and LA, prayer, and determination. One day you will look back and see that you have progressed and I promise you short of being completely irresponsible it will be much farther than they ever could in ps. If your child were not high functioning then perhaps a special ed school would be best but if we are talking a kid that will be placed in ps and receive special ed on the side then it is my belief that almost always with a called to hs parent who is willing to pray and try to find what works they are going to do better.

Just let me share that I started out with two toddlers and two babies that all grew to be preschool, K and 1st grade level, one of which has Cerebral Palsy. I was hsing them and my dd with special needs was learning. But people were criticizing and so I gave in and sent them to ps. I won't go into the long story but the bottom line is by the end of second grade my dd with CP still did not read. I did everything they told me to do at home and even asked for more. Eventually there were some issues, huge issues and I pulled my daughter out for a month as a protest while I fought for her but having no intention of hsing just wanting to fix what was wrong. Meanwhile I threw away everything the special ed teacher said and knowing nothing at all I tried to teach her to read. Within a month she was actually reading like she never had, not anything complicated but still more than she ever had. Don't be fooled to think they can do better than you and don't believe that you need a degree to teach your kids nor a special ed degree to teach a special needs kid. I know absolutely nothing formal about teaching a child with special needs all I know is my child and how to pray. You can do it too!

Anyway that is my BTDT pep talk. Hope it is OK I am so straight forward on this. It is one of my passion buttons because I know how easily it is to be led off God's call by people who tell you that you can't or should not. Don't listen to them and don't doubt yourself or what God can do through you. When you find OT and Speech people and I would think you also might get PT as well interview them and make sure that they know you hs and they need to be supportive of that. As far as HOD goes go at the pace you think is best require of him what challenges but does not frustrate and focus heavy on whatever his issues are as far as learning delays or focus issues. Make sure he gets the core things writing, reading and math and HOD is your ace in the hole to cover the rest. Just let him enjoy that. As far as giving your kids enough attention subtract 9 hours from your day you have now to that add about 2-3 hours of homework because with a special needs kid and six in general it will be that eventually and then ask yourself what kind of quality time you spend and attention you can give your child then add to that the frustration of having no idea what was taught in school and what they are wanting from the dittos they send home and see what quality time you have left. If you feel in your heart that hsing is the way to go that is your call from God. Don't let fear stop you! Rest in Him! The One Who calls is also faithful to equip.

Hope this helps and does not further stress you out. That is not my intent. Just want to encourage you!

Hi Sheila,

I don't really have any suggestions, but I just wanted you to know that I have prayed you and your family and that God will give you His Wisdom and Understanding with all of this.

Take a deep breath.

Move forward as you were planning too. Remember that it is a diagnosis and that does not change who your son is. Your son is your son. He will learn best from the person who knows him the best. If you felt that LHFHG at half speed was best for him before the diagnosis it is still the best way for you to move forward with him. Yes, add in any therapies that his Dr recommends. I also believe that you will get better services through private. As the therapist will focus on just your son for an hour at a time and be able to meet his needs and move him forward as he is ready. It will take time to balance out your schedule, but I think that is true for each homeschool mom especially as we add more kids to our school day and/ or to our homes.

Praying for you.

Hi- Nathan has aspergers - which is basically he is on the autistic spectrum.He is six now and we finished LHFHG about a month ago.We start Beyond in August.
Firstly I know some of what your feeling .I had a lovely friend ,who reminded me Nathan was the same Nathan he had been before the assesment and he would still be our Nathan.We [DH and I]both shed a few tears.Its okay- give yourself time to adjust.A few months on I can say that the diagnosis has been helpful.Its like someone switching a lightbulb on in a dark room.Before we struggled to understand him and how to help him move through certain things.The diagnosis doesnt mean we excuse or ignore things- it just means we understand why its happening and better understand how to help him progress .

I wont tell you what to do with PS but ....Nathan went to PS for one term and it was a disaster.He became so distressed we homeschooled even though we schooled the older ones.He really struggled with lots of things.Things like being told to "wash your hands in the toilet "and then getting to miss playtime because he did!He struggled with directed focus.Alot of aspergers kids show tendancies of ADHD- its not ADHD in its true form but an inability to have their attention directed to something and hold it there.Its not true ADHD because they can focus on something they are intrested in really well.Nathan is like this.He needs lots of support and encouragement.With aspergers - the kids dont pick up the social cues the rest of us learn automatically- that is real disadvantage in school.I want Nathans social interactions to continue to be positive,not that I will or even would want to sheild him from all negativity,but he finds the whole thing so stressful .After the saturday club at church- we schedule in some downtime.I cant imagine him coping with 7 hours 5 days a week.

You asked if it can be done.It can .Its a challenge some days.Its hard some days.Today infact Nathan had a melt down and cried for an hour.About half way through I sat down and shed a few tears of my own.But I dont believe God makes mistakes.He created Nathan[ Exodus 4 v11 who makes the deaf ,the mute and blind- is it not I the Lord?] So God chose Nathan to bless us.And while my first sentances might not seem like a blessing,it is.I have learnt so much and God has a special plan for Nathan.I need to look at what that special calling is and direct him towards that.I believe God wants me to protect Nathans faith and nurture it and thats best done by homeschooling.Only you know where God is calling and guiding you.

Now to the practical issues.For Nathan that meant a rigid schedule.He did not cope well with spontanious learning.We have a visual timetable.A visual timetable is just a few small squares with a picture showing an activity,so we have a a picture od a face and a book for reading,a selection of numbers for Math,playtimes,lunchtimes ,Tv time.....You get the idea.I have a string going across the mantle piece and we peg the cards on.
The ADHD tendancies require patience to nth degree,way and beyond what I have naturally.Its persistance.Reading looked liked this
Nathan> T H E .....his mind wandered,he might ask why superman flew....
Me > Nathan- what do the letters THE say,can you remember?
Nathan> Because I like supermans cape...
Me> Nathan can you remember what sound TH make ?
Nathan> The cat s ..a...t ..is daddy working late tonight
Me> what does CAT say?......You get the idea.In order to do reading especially we needed zero distractions- We found breakfast when Daddy could help deal with the toddler worked best for us-you might find something else.Particularly aspergers children respond well to when ..Then...worked well.
We found that we needed to gradually build up to
Ive gotta make a juice Il be back

] We found that we needed to gradually build up the school day ,we started with just a few boxes- that we knew Nathan would enjoy doing [Art Science/Bible story] and graduall,very gradually built up to including all the boxes in the Guide.IWhen we start Beyond we are starting at Half speed and will gradually get all the boxes in the guide into our day.It needed to be in the same order each day so he knew what to expect[ we use the visual timetable] Its been suggested by the ED psych - that Nathan would also find a timer helpful,so he could see when a lesson was ending.


So I hope I havent put you off with my honesty -I have had some wonderful days-The first time Nathan read a whole senence without getting distracted.The picture he did of heaven.The time he went to the american musuem and had the guides marvelling at his knowledge.Most of all beacuse he said one day I would be famous for being the best homeschooler in the world[ not likely ] and its all wothwhile .

Your family will be in my prayers- God Bless
Sam

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. It means a lot to me. I love this board just as much as I love HOD! I was kind of freaking out there and still am very overwhelmed, but you ladies have such good advice. I love my son no matter what and I really wouldn't want him any other way. It is some what of a relief to know now becasue it does help explain some of the things he does. I now can research on how to best help him. He has autism but we can work with that. He has his own way of doing things and is a joy to me and my husband. God has blessed us so much with each of our children. I am feeling all the prayers you all have said since posting this. I have this sense of peace about it that I did not have before. I can do this!!!!! I am intending on still homeschooling and hope you ladies will not get tired of me asking question throughout the school year. Love all the little bits of advice you have given me so far. I don't know how to qoute what someone else has typed, but liked the idea's of what a lot of you ladies have said. My mind is now racing with idea's on how to teach school and I am not so stressed. Thank you all so much.

Sheila mom to six wonderful kids!

water2wine, I think my picture is also used as a dart board at the local school, too. We used the public schools day-rehab center for early childhood.

The only diagnoses my son has are OCD and Developmental Delays, but I know lots of folks who are fairly convinced he has autism, but they want to hold off a diagnosis.

When I thought of homeschooling vs. sending to school, the way I looked at it was it was either Mama ensuring he got all he needed vs. the public school special ed system. We've BTDT and he fell through the cracks big time. Even though he's down to only 3 hours a week of therapy, this morning's school session let me know that he would be overlooked and discouraged in the school system. Home is where he needs to be.

AboveRubiesMama wrote:water2wine, I think my picture is also used as a dart board at the local school, too. We used the public schools day-rehab center for early childhood.

Hahaha! Good to know I am not alone!

Just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you. Also, my husband teaches children with severe Autism. If you want to talk with him via email about public school and the advantages/disadvantages, he would be happy to. I will send you his email in a private message.

We also have a son with special needs. SO he could talk to you from a few angles.



My best to you.

Shelia,

God bless you. I am praying for you as you try to sort all this out. My ds has OCD and like a PP said we suspect other learning disabilties as well. I know for myself finally having a diagnosis was at least helpful in that I knew what to study up on. What I really wanted to share with you is that I just returned from a workshop on homeschooling your special needs child. It was put on by Doug and Patsy Arnold. If you are from Texas you may have read some of the articles Patsy writes each month for Texas Homeschool coalition. Doug and Patsy are the founders of Texas special kids, Inc. They have a wonderful web sight that is full of all kinds of infromation about homeschooling your special needs child. Their son Joel (12 yrs old I think) is autistic. They are very open to answering emails and letters. I met them at the Arlington convention and they were very helpful. I know they will be at the Woodlands Bookfair later this summer. I think you might benifit greatly from getting in touch with them.

Praying for you,

Durea

I use to work in a pediatric outpatient occupational therapy clinic before staying home with my daughter. My suggestion would be to ask your son's therapists. They should have suggestions and be able to assist you in setting up your schooling to be of the most benefit to your son. We worked with several families who were homeschooling their children with great success. A schedule using pictures might help or using some version of the workbox system as far as transitioning easily between activities.

Sheila,

I'll be praying for you and your family as you navigate through this. There is a website I've come across in the past that may be of interest to you.

http://homepage.mac.com/crysnrob/index.html

His name is Robert and he is autistic. I believe he has Aspergers, but I might be wrong. Anyway, I haven't read it recently, but when I have, it has provided amazing insight into how he thinks. He once told a story of an experience he had in high school. It was fascinating and heartbreaking at the same time.

When my son was 3, we went through a series of tests on advice from our dr. to see if he was on the spectrum. Turns out they were not comfortable labeling him, but I do remember all the emotions we went through during that time. You are right, regardless, he is your boy, he is perfect how God made him, and you want to know best how to help him grow in the way God desires for him to.

I'm sure you have heard of the workbox system. The author of that book designed it to work for her son, who is autistic. It may be worth checking out.

God's peace on you and your family.

I just want to encourage you to go ahead and homeschool him as planned. I have 2 at home with special needs (mmr, FAS, apraxia, dysarthia....) and a 6 yo with cerebral palsy who will be joining us in a couple months. Having structure/schedule make sthings easier for me, and writing out goals is a biggie,because it can prove to all those doubting that your child is learning, pick a couple for each subject (include social skills) and write them down and then date when achieved. For example I wanted my 8 yo child who is mmr/apraxia to learn to use the telephone, so we got the phone number of one of his friends and within a week he was able to make a proper phone call, so that is noted in our records. Also (at least where I live) private therapies are far superior to ps ones, my 6 yo will be getting that in addition to pubvlic school because they are that much better, so I would tend to believe he would be better off in private OT?ST etc.
God Bless!