God always has a plan doesn't He; He finds a way to make it happen. My first experience with 'homeschoolers' was with a dear friend while my husband was still in college. We met her and her husband through our church, and they only had one 7 month old daughter at the time. She's one of those crafty, has her children at home, strong women in the Lord that I so admire! They had already decided to homeschool. It was totally foreign to me, but I admired her determination and her planning ahead. Today, they have 4 children, all birthed at home, all homeschooled, and all taking on their parents Christian values as well as their talents!
Time went on, and we moved to Florida after my husband graduated from college. By then, we had one 18-month old and I became pregnant very soon afer the move. I got involved in our new church, taking bible studies and volunteering in the childcare for studies, services, etc. In one of the studies I distinctly remember one of the women, as we went around the room introducing ourselves, saying she homeschooled her children. She was sitting next to me, and I looked at her and said, "I could never do that." I believed this because our little boy, to me, seemed strong willed and I didn't think I could handle trying to teach him, nor did I think he would listen! She replied that it is definitely a calling from the Lord.
Anyway, time again went on and we had our 3rd child in 2003. My oldest son had attended pre-k for 2 years at the school through our church. I LOVED the school and the teachers; it was my goal to teach there one day. (I've always been drawn to little kids, babies, and watching them learn new things.) However, we had decided that we could not afford to send them to the Christian school, especially with the new baby, etc. So, we enrolled DS in ps K. I really liked his teacher but it was difficult for me every day. I left the school, after dropping him off each day, crying. I was used to walking him in to the classroom, and the ps did not allow this. After the first week or two, the school decided to add another K class because ALL FIVE were too full. Of course my son was one of the ones to be moved and I was not impressed with the teacher. I spent a little time volunteering and observed lots of yelling and too much redirecting, not much teaching. My son had already learned the alphabet and how to write his name, etc. He was stagnating starting at the beginning. But, what else were we going to do? Then, my husband's grandfather in Alabama became ill and was admitted to the hospital. Over the period of a month, he was put on and taken off of the ventilator 3 times. After he was put back on it the second time I decided to stay in town while hubby went back home to work. I visited Grandpa 2 times each day, along with the other family members. Anyway, when we had decided to stay we also decided to pull DS out of school. He would have failed if he missed 9 days in one semester, and he had already missed 5 due to this illness. Things went well; I taught him to read. However, with a 6 month old and a 3.5 year old I felt I didn't have enough time to do this and ended up putting our son back in the private school by January. He excelled there, and went through 1st grade. I volunteered every week in his class and absolutely loved his teacher.
The summer after my son's 1st grade year, my husband was offered a field assignment in Virginia and we jumped at the chance to go. We decided that we would homeschool, because although we had a 'verbal' commitment that we would be there at least 3 months, hubby's contract only said 2 months. We had been in VA about a month when I decided, again, that I couldn't hack it and put them in the ps. My poor children, they've been so resilient! Fortunately, the principal went to our church and was a Christian. I was excited about that.
Well, after living in VA for six weeks, finding a church we liked, and settling the kids in school, we found out we would be going back to FL at the end of November. We spent exactly 8 weeks there-we enjoyed touring DC but would not have moved the whole family had we known it would turn out that way. I called the private school in FL to find out if they had openings. Wouldn't you know they had 1 in each class! Also, I was offered a job by the prinicple there. Before moving to VA I was supposed to work in the Pre-K as an assistant-the person who took my place had just left so they wanted me to fill in that same spot. I said yes b/c it was my dream! I was also asked to work in the after care program w/ 3rd and 4th graders. I agreed to do this as well. Can you tell I'm a 'Yes' person?
So, in December of 2005, I started working and my littlest son was in childcare from 8:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. every week day. Although I only did the pre-k class 2 days a week, I had begun taking college course too and had to have him out of the house to do my work-or so I thought. Well, I don't think I need to tell any of you that that year was a very difficult one. My son (little one)had sleep issues for the rest of the year. I actually called a family meeting in February of that year to ask my husband and kids what they thought we should do. I wanted to quit working; however, I also wanted to "let my yes be yes" as it says in the Bible. I wanted to honor my commitment for myself and for the kids at the school because they had already had to adjust to one new teacher. Anyway, we decided as a family to stick it out, but I promised them that I would NOT do after care the next year (my older kids were in school from 8:30-6:00 too) no matter what. I was determined to be off by 3:00. So, when the time came to let the principal know if we would return the next year, I said yes but I had to be off by 3:00. I was offered a pre-k teaching position and was so psyched because this was my dream, remember? And I would be off by noon so could continue with my college classes. Well, in about April (2006)we had learned about my daughter's vision problem. We took her in and got glasses and began vision therapy, at home and in the Dr's office. When school ended the teacher passed her to first grade and we registered the kids, plus "little one" for the next year.
I continued taking classes at the college over the summer (5, what was I thinking?!), while the kids spent their days at the daycare my littlest son had been attending. We struggled with various issues, not to mention financial ones due to the expense of childcare and my classes! I ended up having to take the kids out of childcare, and keep them home with me. I was taking online classes, so this worked okay- I had a friend I paid to keep them when I needed to take a test-but it was so hard. I didn't get to spend much time with my kids, and the youngest STILL had sleep issues. I spent an hour or more trying to get him to sleep each night. Okay...we had been planning a week's vacation in GA for that June. I was able to get ahead a bit because I had already dropped my math class because it was too much with the other classes I had, but I still had to take my work with me on vacation. I got to spend time inside working in the mornings while my husband took the kids on hikes- not my best moments I can tell you. I did spend a lot of time with them relaxing though. The cabin we went to is owned by my inlaws and is right on the Toccoa River-it's called Toccoa Pearl, you can go to
www.toccoapearl.com if you want to stay there! Anyway, it wa so peaceful and we were all so relaxed, it really got me thinking about what I was doing with my life. We had also visited a close friend of mine in TN who is a wonderful encourager. She and I had talked long and hard about what I wanted. All during this, I felt I was being called by the Lord to make some drastic changes. I began to think about what it would be like the next year, during Christmas and Easter, watching my little 3 yr. olds perform for their parents, and being so proud, while my own son performed right next door and I wasn't there. I also thought about how my daughter would fair in a first grade class, in which I knew she would be behind in her reading. I had volunteered in both 1st grade classes so I knew what was required. I recalled those verses in Deuteronomy that talk about teaching your children, "when you lie down, when you wake up, as you walk along the road" and I knew I would not be able to do that if I was spending so much time with other people's children. It's Deuteronomy 6:5-9. So, I talked to my husband. He was not interested because we had tried this twice, and he said no. I was at a loss about what to do. I prayed, we fought, and I prayed some more. I finally approached him again. I promised that I would not quit, that I thought this was God calling me to do this, and he reluctantly agreed to allow me to try "one more time."
We pulled all three kids out and I told the principal I couldn't take the job after all-she wasn't happy but wanted me to do what God was directing me to do. That's when I started looking for curriculum. I settled on HOD for my daughter, and used something else with my son. Once we made the decision I had such peace. There were some really hard times, and there have been this year too. I've wanted to quit. But, I made that promise. My husband spent 6 months in Maryland that year and it was tough. We missed him terribly and had such joyous reunions when he came to visit every two weeks. I came to rely on God even more because I had no one else. If I had relied on Him first from the beginning I may not have had to go through all of those difficulties, who knows?
But it taught me that He keeps His promises! He will carry me when I cannot walk another step. He will give me the answers I need if I will only ask. His plan, in His timing, is always best.
I'm so glad that I've finally realized that. I still struggle with this daily-I have NOT arrived. But I always have a peace and a joy that only comes from Him. And I want to teach my kids to rely on Him from a young age so they can have that peace and joy much sooner than I did. We still pray each year to make sure this is still God' plan for us. My husband is confident now that I will stick with it if I say I will. And God gives me strength each day. So now, you all know exactly why my user name is inHistiming. It's a constant reminder that doing things in my own strength leads to difficulties, pain, and heartache. His way is narrow but filled with joy. I praise God for His blessings and pray that He will continue to bless my family. May He do the same for all of you on your journeys!
~He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy.~
Job 8:21 (NIV)
That should have been my first and final clue!!! My mistake. 
His self-esteem was completely shot down w/in 2 months! I don't think he will ever be the same. He has started to do better but he's not the same boy that he was. 
But I do see things starting to change. Also, my own understanding of them and how they learn, plus what type of structure I need for teaching, is making a big difference. I also like having all the dc home, even if they are driving me NUTS, I still don't want them to go all day. 
