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I am getting lots of plans worked out for this pregnancy that has made it to 9w1d as of today. Much farther than any of those that miscarried and the morning sickness...whew! It's all day and kickin' my rear-- those hormones much be high! Found my doctor, getting a doula picked out, picked the hospital, working out insurance details, etc. But, today I noticed that I'm having some changes in some things that are just TMI to share and I just have this off feeling something is wrong. As of tonight, I am having on and off "tingle" in my lower abdomen that I am afraid might be contractions and being the natural birth/long-time-TTC mom with midwife friends, I know how to check cervical "info" and mine is slightly open. I am hoping that due to my history of having a LEEP procedure done (where they removed some early cancer from my cervix) will be enough to get a cerclage so long as the baby is still fine and I am NOT having contractions. Unfortunately, I think I am though. I will call my doctor in the morning and try to get in asap. Between now and then, please pray for our unborn baby. And beyond that, please pray for my children's hearts-- they will be broken. We have been given time to enjoy this pregnancy-- others I m/c soon after a positive test. I am thankful for that time, but it is bittersweet b/c we have all had time to let it sink in and bond, start sorting through maternity clothes and baby stuff to save together, etc. And me...I so want this baby and I don't know how to get through yet another loss. I don't know how dh will react, he doesn't seem to be affected as much as I am, but men can seem that way. I think he was nervous but quite thrilled with the idea and hopeful for a girl. Things like this will harden him and make him lean towards not wanting to get pregnant again in order to avoid this hurt again-- for me. I'll update as soon as I know something.

PS-- I am in our new home by myself still with 2 of my 3 kids. My dh and middle child are in our old town until dh finishes the semester and will be home late Friday. I'm not sure what I'll do with my children I have when I go to the doc as taking the 2yo with me is going to be a challenge even with the oldest to help. Please pray for that to work out as well...

Tamara, I will pray for you and your family! I would help you out with the little one if I lived near you.
Maybe, you could get the kids a special treat and or print out some really cool activity pages or something to ease things up a bit.
I use to keep a grab bag for my son when he was younger that was only for special times like appointments or etc. that helped out tremendously! That way, it was something new to keep him occupied.
Just thought I'd give you some ideas and let you know that I was praying!
Tina

Praying for you Tamara!!!

In Christ Alone,

Praying for you Tamara. I am hoping you are just feeling braxton hicks. Yes they can start this early. Take care of yourself and let us know what the Doctor says.

Oh Tamara...my heart and my prayers are going out to you now...

I feel that I do not really have the words to say...but know my prayers are with you,

I hope this passage of God's beautiful word will be a comfort to you now:

"But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him,
on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,

to deliver them from death
and keep them alive in famine.

We wait in hope for the LORD;
he is our help and our shield.

In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.

May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD,
even as we put our hope in you.

Psalm 33:18-24

Please know that I am praying for you now, and will continue to pray for you throughout this time.

Love and Prayers
Deb

Tamara,

My heart goes out to you. I'm praying for you right now, and I understand the swing of emotion as you think things will be ok...and then wonder if they're not. I'm praying that God blesses you with supernaturally cooperative kids to go to the Dr. with, too. I've been there as well...and had God answer that prayer for me. The choice of turning them loose on the farm or taking them with me... As tempting as the farm option sounded, it really wasn't a wise idea. I'm sure it's so hard being in a new place and not having a chance to get to know anyone yet.

Love in Christ,
Kathleen

Thanks for your encouraging words. My faith and hope remains strong, as well as my knowledge that God is in control and it's all planned out. He has a plan for me and for this baby. I hope it includes my getting to hold her/him in my arms but if not, I'll be hurt but know it's all part of that plan.

I am starting to have some aches and "pressure" I guess you could say. So, my mind is battling with knowing the most likely thing that's going on.

I do believe in miracles, I do I do I do. Come to think of it, I bled heavily with my now 2yo and they said I m/c him then there he was 2 weeks later! Hmm...I'm hopeful. But sleepy and need to try to get in touch with dh again.

Tamara,
I'm praying for you - praying that God will give you an early appt. time, that the dr./ultrasound tech will have both understanding and wisdom, and that your dc will be calm and mindful, and that most of all your new precious life is still well and safe, that God both strengthens and softens your dh. Amen.

Praying ((((Tamara))))!

Praying!!!!

Tamara,
I'm sorry you are going through this alone. I will keep you in my thoughts. As for your children, take coloring books, snacks, stop at the dollar store and let them pick new toys to take and play with.

Tamara - I will pray for a miracle for you. I hope all is still well with your baby and I wish you didn't have to go through this "alone". Praying peace for you sister.

My heart is so heavy for you.
We are praying for a miracle!

~Linda

Praying for you!

Call on Him as I know you are, and He will answer. He will hold you in His hands! I am too tired to write out all the details, as I am still recovering... but know He will carry you! I have had quite a few difficult weeks since my surgery and God has been so awesome. I am praying for you and the baby, and the rest of your family as well. As I recover I will be writing to share my wonderful story of His awesome love... in the meantime, I will keep praying for you and complete care and comfort only He can bring! HUGS!!!