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Hi, I have 2 kids, one 7yo doing Beyond and a 5yo doing MFWK, (she will move into Little hearts at the end of MFWK). My problem is that the 7yo absolutely cannot focus on any of his own work if the 5yo is doing something different. He MUST see and participate in anything she does.

This means I can't have them working separately on math at the same time or writing or anything else. It's driving me to distraction. I've tried having him be the teacher for some of her activities and letting him do her stuff too, but then he gets frustrated when she is done before him.

He also won't sit quietly and let her answer the questions. If she is not in the room when he does his work, he thinks that it is not fair that she should be working too. Not to mention that I get a bit grumpy if I have to do them both separately, because I have other responsibilities too.

I don't mean to complain and I genuinely want to make this work for all of us and have my 7yo enjoy our school time but I don't know what I should try next.

I know there are seasoned moms out there with more than two kids, how do you make it work? do any of you have a kid like mine? what worked with him or her?

Hmmm I do not know how much help I will be but I will take a stab at it. I have six. Sometimes my younger two really feel they have to be in on everything and they are not capable of doing all the big kids work then they get frustrated. So what I have done is clearly defined the "their" stuff and together stuff. I have let them know what they "system" is going to be for us so they have clearly defined boundaries and I provide activities for them when I need to have the other working and the young guys want to participate. So for instance, they love to be a part of the Big kids History and Bible. Something they can get but obviously they have their own. I do let them color and listen in though as long as they do not disturb.

You have it in reverse though. But I think maybe the principle of defining what they can and need to not be a part of is the same. So if they big kid had something that was "theirs" alone for that time that could be done without your help maybe that would satisfy them. Maybe your older child is a real hands on learner? Or else maybe it is just a training issue where it might just take a little time to establish with your kids what will work for you all. I think really spelling out for them what is their time and together time may really help and then if you have the wiggly type giving them something that is tactile while you work with the other child may help. Maybe also doing shorter times together at first with breaks will help as well.

This sounds like something though that is just normal working out getting kids in sink with each other stuff. It may just take a little time to work through it. When I first took my oldest four out of public school we really took some time to learn how to do school. It was frustrating in the beginning but now we really have hit our groove and days are easy and really productive. Hang in there. It is worth it! Not sure if that helps or even makes sense but I hope it does.

my #1 and #2 are this way-except #2 is way better at math and rubs it in. So then #1 gets angry and the punches start...ever have those days???
So we got ds #1 a desk, where he sits to do all his work. He's still with us, but alone, if that makes sense. the desk is actually part of the living room/kitchen area, so he's not separate from where we are. It keeps his on task and keeps his brother out of his hair.

I actually make sure they have separate curriculums; but they are older, too.

one stays in the living room playing/TV/computer/video gaming while the other one is doing their work

i also do the older one in the morning and the younger one in the afternoon

HTH!

You could be describing 2 of my children, only they're reversed, with the younger son wanting to be glued to the side of my older one. My younger son wants to do EVERYTHING with my oldest son, and he often loves to shout out answers to discussion questions I am doing with my oldest child. He even wants to "help" my oldest son out by watching him do his computer time. AGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

I wasn't sure what to do about this, because at first, I thought how neat it was that he wanted to be right with big brother. The shine wore off though, by month two, I was going nuts. So, I decided that they both had certain things that had to be separate, and other things that could be together.

For younger son, I read history and Storytime separate from older son. Older son appreciates having it quiet while he does his more independent things.

Younger son listens in on older's Storytime read-aloud, sings along with the Hymn, does his art the same time older son does, and listens to older son's audio tapes.

I go off somewhere secluded with older son to do his history reading and his Bible study time. Our discussions have become so much better since we've begun doing this, and he likes having me all to himself for those times.

I don't let younger son stand and watch older son's computer anymore (yes, I confess, I gave in to this for awhile - but really, what an annoyance to big brother and a total waste of time for younger one). I also put in time for them to play together outside and inside with and without their other little baby brother within the "school day"; meals are together, educational games are together - I mean, really, they have enough time together!

I have not budged on the separate things now, and I also have continued to reiterate that they're different ages and their school will be different amounts of time and work, and that's just the way it is. They are seeming to get this now, and I get less of the "clinginess" now.

Although yet this morning, younger brother asked to watch older brother's computer again... well, we have made progress... honestly!

Lee Ann,

The moms are giving you such tried and true advice! Keep it coming ladies.

I'll just tell you that we started out combining our kiddos as much as possible and as they got older, we realized the older one was overshadowing my second born. It was time to separate them .... and I mean separate.

We used to have table time where we all worked together at the table for the opening hour of the day (on similar subjects) but individual assignments. This did not work for us very well, as my older always wanted to do and see the younger's work and (heaven help us) even correct him continually. So, we separated.

Now, my 3 school-age kiddos are either all together for together time that works well in a group (like hymns, read-alouds for storytime, poetry, lunch, music, art projects, recess, and any group extras I add in)... or they are all in different rooms assigned to them on their schedule. Every 30 minutes or less my kiddos rotate through the various rooms or study spots in our house, so they are always moving from place to place. This is also based on the task they're doing (kitchen for science; living room for couch-time reading etc.). Their schedules are set-up so that they can't see what the other one is doing and this helps them stay on schedule too.

For me, I found that my boys are more distractable than my sisters and I ever were. They are so easy to get off task and of course they want to participate in whatever fun thing the other one is doing. But, some parts of the day just need to be separate at our house to get done. The boys are actually happier doing their own thing now, when they are not within sight of another child doing something else.

I know this sounds terribly structured, but it has worked wonders for my boys. The movement between subjects is great for bodies that need motion. The change of scenery from room-to-room also does them good. I do most of my teaching from the "command center" in our morning room or our kitchen, so whenever I am formally teaching the kiddos are assigned to go one of those places. Once in awhile their room placements will overlap if someone is running behind on their schedule, but that always reminds me of why I scheduled it the way I did it in the first place (because there is much dawdling and listening in with what the other kiddos are doing then).

In my old public school days, we used to run three groups for reading lessons.... assigning one group an independent task, one group to meet with me, and one group a semi-independent task that I would start them on and then go work with the group waiting to meet with me. That is a bit how we look at movement in our house.

I also make sure my boys still have a morning recess (even as old as they are) around 11:30 where they all play together. So, separate time in interspersed with together time. Our day goes, separate, together, separate, together, separate, together. Well you get the idea!

I hope this helps a little in your thinking. I know everyone has to find what works best for them and your situation may vary incredibly from mine! But, I do my best thinking when I hear from others about what they do. Then, I can sort through options of what would be best for my family! So, I'm hoping you might find something in here that may work for you.

Blessings,
Carrie

Ok now that I see Carrie's post actually I guess I did not mention that I have two large tables in rooms that can't see each other and a two desks also in those rooms. Plus another table available. I do separate for some things because I have a day dreamer and two that distract the others. They are all in the same program though for HOD just work separate for Math and LA. Some times I change out who needs to go where depending on what is going on with them. It is not what Carrie does because hers sounds way more organized but maybe that is why I am buying her program.

Thanks Ladies! You've given me some good ideas to ponder. I'm going to think a bit and see how to blend your ideas into something that will work for my 7yo.

THANKS,

Ladies,

I was just thinking how fun it is to get a glimpse into other mom's school days. I was also struck by how many similar ideas were resonating through each of our posts!

That being said, if you ask each of us the same question on a different year, you would probably get some very different answers!

Homeschooling is so fluid that the teaching situation changes from year-to-year based on who needs what, how many children are being schooled, what ages they all are, and what other outside wrinkles are added to the year.

We'll pray that you'll find some answers about what will work best for your family, LeeAnn.

Blessings,
Carrie