Frustrated - schedules, 2 yr old ds (long sorry)

[anointedhsmom]

Well I should have made this post a long time ago but I just never did My 2 year old DS is a handful to say the least. It's affecting our ability to get school done without too much stress so this has to stop. I am in the process of trying to make a schedule and I have been looking at the schedule thread. That thread has helped but I am still struggling with my ds 2. He is 2.5 actually and appears to be ahead and is most definitely ahead in language abilities. He's been talking since he was 8 months old. He talks like a 3 or 4 year old now. People comment on it all the time when we are in public. He knows some of his letter names just because we talked about them with his bath letters. I have done nothing focused with him at all and he can count to 10 and usually only misses one number maybe if at all. I know I don't want to start him on LHTH yet so I am thinking of doing Letter of the Weeks Preparatory and Before Five in a Row with him. I was thinking of alternating weeks of Prep and BFIAR. If next year I started LHTH he would be 3.5 and I would probably do that slow like maybe only 3 days a week and keeping Rowing the other days until we get to LHFHG and then stick totally with HOD from that point on. All that just so you will know what my plans are right now with ds2. ds9 is doing Bigger.

I have had Manager's of Their Homes (MOTH) for years and I make these beautiful schedules on paper but have never worked one for more than week if that Because of that my boys are just out of control at the house. Neither one of them can manage their time well at all when left to themselves. Of course I do know that ds2 needs much more structure than ds9. I have just been lazy and self centered plain and simple. I have got to get on track NOW. It's simply not acceptable any longer for this to continue.

In scheduling I am having trouble with ds2. He doesn't have very many toys that keep him engaged anymore. He bores quickly with your normal 2 yr old toys. I think because he might be gifted on some level. The problem is that if we try to get him toys that are geared to older children he's not always physically capable of handling them. He seems to be on age level with his physical dexterity but I would like to slowly start introducing him to more small motor activities. What toys do your 2yr olds play with? I really need some fresh ideas for toys and activities for this little boy. He loves books and we read a lot and that is why I got BFIAR for him.

Ok I read back over this and it seems to ramble without a clear point. I am sorry about that. I'm not sure what else I can say though. I need to get our days organized and give ds2 some serious structure. I am at a loss of how to give him age appropriate toys and activities. ds9 just naturally gets structure with his school.

Can anyone sympathize? Ideas? I am feeling lost right now.

[mamaloves4]

Hi there!

I can really sympathize!!! I have a ds who just turned 4 and he can be a handful along with everyone else and a dd2 (not quite) and she is not interested in two year old toys either!. I don't have all the answers, but will share with you what we do and maybe you can find some encouragement and help. First and foremost, my time with the Lord needs to happen, plus I need a few moments alone in the morning so my rule is that 'you may use the bathroom, but you must stay in your room until 7:45' my little guy loves to come down and get library books to take back upstairs to his room, and there are days that he wants to argue his way into staying up. I usually ignore what is going on upstairs unless it sounds like someone is really needs me. This year I am using LHTH 2-3 days a week, last year I took 10-15 minutes to read to him--just us--in the chair before beginning school work with the others. Now I know my little guy doesn't match the age of your ds, but he is an active, bright, advanced little guy. Keeping him productively occupied has been our most successful venture. He has playtime alone in his room for 45-50 min., then a time with oldest sis who is 9, then a time with next oldest sis who is almost 7. We have found that to be a good schedule. I also put together some preschool activities in a bag (it is from a book by the similar name) which he enjoys and can only do during 'school', we also have some Lauri toys that they love, and a shelf of games that work to play alone or with big sis'.

I, too, have Managers of the Home and I like what they talk about, but cannot implement it their way soooo I have adjusted it to my way of scheduling. There is something about seeing our days in timed boxes that make me run the opposite way---so I make a list of what who needs to be doing when and keep it moving. That does require disipline on my part because my dd7 is a dawdler and needs to be kept moving--so I have to pay attention to where she is. My oldest dd9, likes me with her, but I am trying to wean her off of needing me by her side. What I usually do is get her started with her work and then say--I will be over here making a bed or something like that.

Here is an example:
dd9: does 3 boxes of PHFHG and math while dd7 plays with ds4 and dd2 (this takes about 45m)
then
dd7: does 2 boxes of Beyond and math while dd9 plays with the two younger kids (about 45m)
then
dd9: does 3-4 boxes plus LA in preparing while dd7 does handwriting, while the two younger kids have individual play times
then:
dd7 does 1 box Beyond and phonics (she is going half speed through it) while dd9 does book basket time and math facts review and anything she can do independently.

One thing I learned from MOTH is that if I get off in what should be happening , then I just jump in where I can and not try and go back to the beginning of the day even if it is 10am. (I have no idea if that makes any sense--sorry)

anyway, I have rambled and rambled---but my heart goes out to you feeling lost--I have felt that way sooo many times and please know that you are not alone. You have a great big wide circle of other homeschooling moms out there who face the same thing, but most importantly you have the smartest, most gracious helper--the Lord!! I am praying right now that he would wrap his arms around you and whisper reassurances into your heart and a plan into your head!

May Christ pour his blessings on you,
Jessica

[anointedhsmom]

Jessica,

I appreciate you taking the time to comment. I worked on a schedule for us tonight and I made some head way. I have a skeleton in place that will work for me for the next week or two and then maybe by that time I can get away from the kids long enough to get the specifics down. Right now it takes me hours to get anything done because the boys are just left to themselves and it makes much more work for me in the long run. I am going to just do what I have planned and excuse my self from the rest of it until I can get more specific things on paper. I need to work on chores for older ds and think up some more activities for ds2 until Christmas. We just do not have a bit of extra money for me to buy toys right now for him. He has outgrown all his other toys and is bored with them but I have some good ideas I think to keep him occupied. We will see over the next week how it goes.

I still could use any ideas for my ds2 if anyone else wants to comment. I don't know why this little guy has been so hard to schedule.

Well I'm off to bed so I can get up on time and get started with what needs to be done. Thanks again Jessica!

[Mom2Monkeys]

My 2yo ds is so much like yours. He talks up a storm, knows all of his letters and can ID all upper case and many lower case, knows many of the sounds, and he's counting to 11 on his own. I did not teach him these things...at least I never directly did anyway. He too, is an absolute terror to our school day and our peace at home. He's out of control and certainly has taken control of this house. My others two are pretty difficult now as well and its just getting worse. I tried MOTH and failed horribly...its TOO scheduled and if I got a few minutes off track, I just felt lost and like I messed up the whole day. Life happens and I needed room/time for that to be allowed. I've not been one to get into books like the one I'm about to mention, but WOW! Our kids have changed in a day, I have been calm and happy and I AM IN CONTROL of this house....not the kids anymore! I feel like a new person and the kids are even happier...yes, it works on all ages, so I hope you can read it and benefit from it too. It's called "Have a New Kid by Friday" by Kevin Leman. I'd say its more like have a new YOU by the end of the book...THEN you get the new kids as an added bonus. I plan to make our schedule AFTER I get and maintain the control...that lets me really learn this new way of parenting and get good at it before I try to overwhelm myself with a new plan for our day. So, structure the kids, then structure our day. Oh, and my dh has commented on how impressed he is with my mood, my calmness with the kids, and how effective this easy method has been. They really respond to it so well! I honestly haven't yelled even once at them in 2 days...yelling used to be what seemed to be an all day, everyday thing. Our house in becoming a happy home.

This great book...It's one of those things that I just want to share with everyone...kinda like I do with HOD.

[Rebecca]

Paige,
I have been wanting to respond to this thread too...
My parent's have been visiting us from PA! They are leaving tomorrow-

So- I will reply soon!
You are not alone!
I pray that the Lord undergirds and strengthens you as you begin your new schedule. A day of trial with the schedule is not a day to give up!
Do not be surprised if it is rough.

I am sorry I was not able to post some practical ideas sooner.
Blessings,
Rebecca

[Jessi]

If you don't mind me asking...what toys do you allow ds2 to play with right now? If he enjoys older toys what does he seem more drawn to?

If he likes cars you could save food boxes like macaroni and juice bottle lids and straws. Punch holes in the boxes and let him try to push the straws through the box and attach wheels (the juice lids) to them and he can wheel them around. It makes it a little more involved and should keep him busier longer. Oh btw- you'll need to drill holes in the juice lids. I hope that all made sense. Even if he doesn't like cars but likes to build and create you could use the same things and let him build cities or houses or other structures. You wouldn't have to spend more money than you usually do for groceries.

My 2 year old ds loves skateboards and star wars. He also like Thomas and backhoes. He is a typical boy. One thing i do is have a special box of toys just for him with all his favorites in it. I also put all of our toys in small tubs by category. Vehicles and trains in a box, tools in a box, food in a box, etc. Then I only allow two boxes out at a time. There are sometimes days where he doesn't play with several boxes because he is in a train kick or something. That might help to keep his toys feeling new and exciting if he is limited to them. When I used to leave them out for whoever and whenever, they got bored quickly. Now I see more imagination at work. Of course if he or the other kids ask for something specific I get it out.

Another idea I have is to grab a bunch of blankets and build a fort over chairs and your ironing board (trust me, the ironing board is GREAT because they can stand up in the fort without difficulty and put in some toys, a bowl of teddy grahams or whatever, lots of books and flashlights and it ought to keep him entertained for at least a little while.

My son is not advanced verbally but he is very physical and tries to dominate my time. If he is wanting to be where we are doing school, I let him sit with us and while dd4 is working I'll modify her work for him to do. He likes that.

Just a thought, if he loves books...have books on tape. If your ds2 is an avid book reader maybe you could read some of his favorites and record them, then teach him how to turn the pages when he hears the specific sound. With his advanced verbal skills that should be easier for him to understand. Then he could be listening to books while you are working with your son. You could get an old style recorder or you could just record with a microphone through your computer if you have one and burn a cd.

I don't know if I have helped. As for scheduling...I am awful at it. So I won't even venture an opinion there.

[inHistiming]

Some things my ds (5) enjoys that could work with a 2 yo:

-homemade play-doh...many recipes can be found online...use cookie cutters plastic knives for playing with it

-a tub of water (like one of those hospital dishpans) and some toys...animals, cups, funnel, straws, etc...need to have it within eyesight obviously to make sure he's safe and not making too much of a mess

-alphabet flash cards or matching games...

-tub (dishpan again) with sand, dry corn, oatmeal, cornmeal, shredded paper, or beans, etc. to play with using measuring cups and spoons, toy cars and trucks, toy animals

-pictures cut out of magazines and some stick glue...let him glue til his heart's content...could also use stickers to place on paper as long as he likes...I've had my little one use them to 'trace' his name or letters, numbers...

-let him help you make lunch...my son LOVES this, and now can make (and prefers to) his own lunch, with a bit of help...a 2 yo can get things out of the fridge and put them back for mom, get a paper plate if it's low, hand you the bread, etc.

Just a few ideas...hopefully some of them were helpful.





-

[Carrie]

Paige,

I can empathize with you, as my own 2 year old has suddenly decided to let his little voice be heard! He has descended into the "No" phase with a vengence and is exercising his little will like crazy!

I don't know if you have gotten a chance to see my schedule on the scheduling thread but that may help you. One idea from Managers of Their Homes that I really liked and used was the Mommy Tape or CD. I recorded myself reading short Bible stories, nursery rhymes, counting, saying the names of family members, singing short little songs like "Jesus Loves Me" etc. to last 1/2 hour. I said my little one's name over and over all throughout the tape, like I was talking to him. I played it every day while my little one had time in his room with his toys (we do that time in his crib for safety reasons).

Another wonderful thing that is well worth doing is to clear out a lower cabinet in your kitchen and stock it with just your 2 year old's toys. I only allow my 2 year old to have one toy at a time out of the cupboard. Many days he just spends a lot of time taking out one toy, scattering it on the floor, picking it up, putting it away, and getting out another one. We did put child protectors on the cupboard doors, which he CAN open, but it slows him down and keeps him from just unloading the cabinet. We try to put toys in the cabinet that have many pieces and storage boxes WITH LIDS. This keeps him busy for at least 30 minutes every morning, again in the afternoon, and in the evening. It is the first thing he heads for when he comes downstairs, as he knows it is his. We also have a playroom with his toys, but he only ever wants what is in the cabinet.

Some examples of inexpensive things to place in the cabinet that you may already have on hand would be a bucket of cars, a lidded container with macaroni noodles and a measuring cup, play food that he can cut or put together, a can of tennis balls with a lid, a container with a tweezers and small objects to pick up with the tweezers (like small pieces of yarn), a Cheerio book if you have one (where kiddos put the Cheerios on the openings in each page, if no Cheerio book make your own using coloring book pages and drawing circles where your kiddo should place the Cheerios (and then eat them), a container with trains and a track in it, a magnadoodle, anything he can pound like a ball pounder, an empty egg carton with a big button or other object in each slot (make sure they're not a choking hazard though), colored cups with a small container of legos chosen to be the same color as the cups (sort the colored legos into the matching cup), a lidded tub filled with stuffed toys, a container of megablocks, possibly some tractors or other vehicles, etc.

Last, I've found that if I schedule some time to be one-on-one for 10-15 min. with my little one, early on or mid-way through the morning, then he is more willing to go play on his own. Even reading a book or singing a couple of songs with him will give him that one on one time.

Hope this will get your creative juices flowing. The moms on the board have done such a great job of giving you ideas. It is a blessing that we can pool our thoughts to come up with things that will hopefully be of some help!

Blessings,
Carrie

[Kathleen]

Paige,

I can totally sympathize with you, too! My 2 yo little guy went from being his pleasant little self...even potty trained - to a temper-tantrum throwing (patience-building for mom ) very unhappy camper most days. Now, I know that we're dealing with teeth...which I hope come soon! We returned to diapers for a while, and I spend a lot of time intervening in arguements lately. It seems that ALL of my kids decided that they're not sure what attitudes and behaviors are acceptable. I know I (like other moms here) am thankful for the privilege of parenting all day - even though there are days I'm pulling my hair out! I know that these trying seasons would come even if I didn't get all day to address them, and may be harder to deal with. I also know that having a 2 yo to "reschedule" my day won't be a long-lived season, and try to enjoy him (and still accomplish the other needed things).

I know I've noticed in my life recently when I've crowded out my time with the Lord, my attitude really shows it in dealing with my kids. I'm not saying that's your problem, but I know it affects me. And, I'm not even saying that reading my Bible and praying is a "quick fix" for a smooth day, as I'm wanting to pursue a relationship with the Lord to honor Him because of Who He is...not just what He can do for me. But, when I seek Him first I notice that my attitude and outlook on the day is much better.

I understand about your little guy not wanting to play with toys, too. Both of my boys are this way...especially my oldest. He still does not play with toys - he plays with people. Now, he has grown to be able to come up with things to do my himself, but given the choice, he will ALWAYS choose to do something with some one else rather than alone. My 3 love to play together! While I do school with my 8 yo, I have the younger 2 who are always together. I'm sure it's much harder to do with only 1 younger one. Garret loves to play outside, too. I send them out everyday - as long as the wind can't actually blow them over and it's not raining AND cold. (Just raining OR cold...and out they go! ) They love to play with kittens. Sometimes the favorite kitty, "Sally", comes in to watch them color.

Ok...I feel like my brain is rambling. I'm probably not much help to you, but I can sympathize! If I have any more ideas, I'll let you know.
Kathleen

[Lori_in_Austin]

Hi Paige,

My heart goes out to you, because I think we have all been there especially every time we have a two year old in the house…. I think you have gotten some good replies and I have really appreciated reading them, since I too have a two year old ds. I hesitate to add my own reply, because I feel kind of “un-qualified” but I will let you know some of the things I do, or try to do, at our house. In addition, I am going to pray that you will receive some clarity from the HS.

Okay, so here it goes.

I like to use the word “routine” rather than “schedule”. Schedule inherently implies to me that a specific event or activity should happen at a specific time of day. But “routine” implies to me that a series of activities happen in the same order even if they do not always happen at the exact same time. Exact time would be ideal, but for me, “life happens.”

For a “routine” example:
dc may not come out of their rooms before 7:00am (working to 7:30am)
wake up, get dressed, eat, family worship at the breakfast table (most often includes our LHFHG left page) (great when ds2.5 has food in his mouth…), brush teeth, clean table, do dishes. I take a very short “break” from children to gather our lessons... then ds5 does math for 20-30 minutes while ds2.5 plays in playroom in adjacent room (open, no walls—which can distract us…), then ds5 takes a 30-45 minute break while ds2.5 has 15-20 minute “blanket time” which is his own personal “learning time” with mommy on a blanket on the living room floor (great place for our BFIAR activity, a puzzle, LHTH activity, music, or a game ). Then mommy takes a very short “breather”. Then it is time for ds5 to do Reading/Phonics lesson for 20-30 minutes while ds2.5 plays in his room down the hall with the door shut.
(variation: IF ds2.5 is able to sit with us and color without distracting, we try. He is loud and makes lots of noise just to hear himself so this often does not work. As soon as I have had enough of his distracting us, he knows he must leave the table to a place with boundaries like his room with the door shut for the rest of the 20 minute lesson of ds5. He is growing into this “room time” so it is a work in progress. He does pretty well, but it is something we have worked on from “day one”.

So if I now go back and attach a time to these activities, my “routine” then becomes a “schedule”. I do have times that I attach to my routine activities, but the goal is to do basically the same activities in the same order. I allow myself some flexibility: like 30 or 45 minutes leeway, but there are, what I call, “hard breaks” like lunch. Lunch must happen at 11:30a or 12N so that my ds2.5 can go down for his nap at 12:30-1:00pm (the pre-nap routine is another good one-on-one time with mommy for 20-30 minutes before nap time). We are alone together in his room in our special chair and do our read-aloud from BFIAR or LHTH activities. Then he goes down for nap. It has always been this way and I guard this time every day so there is not much resistance -- yet . Eventually, as he gets older, nap time turns into rest time which becomes afternoon room time when he is older. When I come out of ds2.5’s room after putting him down for his nap, I then take a short breather for myself. Then around 1:30pm or 2:00pm, I do another short lesson time with ds5. Then he has a break and around 3:30pm he must observe his own room-time for 60-90 minutes. He is able to come out of his room for bathroom. If he comes out for other reasons, I add 15 minutes. There is a real clock in his room in addition to a “dummy” clock that shows the time which his room-time ends. When the two clocks match, he can come out. As it turns out, this has been a great way to learn the clock !

I am so sorry if this rambles and is confusing. I have not used MOTH, but I have it on my shelf ! I will tell you that my husband and I took a wonderful in-depth parenting class at our church that gave me most of these ideas. Like any diet or exercise plan, I may not have agreed with one hundred percent or followed one-hundred percent of the suggested “diet”, but we did get a lot of very practical tips to apply to specific everyday situations. The name of the parenting class was Growing Kids God’s Way and the secular version is the Parent-Wise series by titles such as ToddlerWise, PreSchool Wise, and ChildWise. I hesitate to even mention them because they receive a lot of criticism, but I will tell you that while I may not have agreed with one hundred percent of what was in the books, I found them to offer some very practical suggestions on specific behaviors my children were having. There is a separate parenting ministry which also has some material with other practical tips by Joey & Carla Link related to GKGW. The great thing is that there are books out there by many different authors written through the ages to fit each family's unique and special needs so please understand I am not asserting that these GKGW books would help every family, but that they helped me with mine.

There are a lot of other good parenting books out there, but the hard part is having the time to read them once you find them. I have several others in my home library waiting in “queue” to be read. Anyway, I hope this helps someone who might come across it.

[anointedhsmom]

Ladies,

Thank you so much for your time and advice. I think I have finally reached the end of my rope and I am now doing something about it. I even set my alarm yesterday and today but still didn't get up. In my defense I was kept up all night by said 2 year old. Don't know what's going on with him at night. Anyway I have a framework schedule and has allowed up to get more school done today. I still need to work on some things with 2 year old so I do feel there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I very very much appreciate all of the suggestions and I know I can use several of them. I just needed some ideas outside of situation to help me.

Thanks so much!

Lori: The 2 year old was babywised from birth and that's the one thing this kid does well is sleep LOL. I just haven't been diligent about using the GKGW principles in a long time.

Mom2Monkeys: I order the book you recommended and got it today. I have heard a lot of good things about that book so I got it at a decent price on amazon. For parenting stuff I also really love National Center for Biblical Parenting. Great stuff and books too. I am armed. I have no excuses. I just have to JUST DO IT. I think I've had enough and will do it. Thanks.

[Rebecca]

Dear Paige,
You have gotten some great advice- so great- I printed some out!

I do with my two year old- the same as these other gracious ladies.

I have found that each of my children are so unique. My current two year old loves cars and trucks- more than any other so far! In fact- this little one was strolled through Wal-Mart recently- spied the riding cars hanging overhead and proclaimed in a growly voice," I WANT those cars. I WANT to RIDE in them.."

So- his favorite activity is to play with dump trucks and cornmeal at the table. He also likes to use Do-A-Dot paints. Fill in shapes and letters with stickers. "Practice" writing his name, read and sing songs with me- play at our train table, etc.

I don't really have any more practical advice than what has already been offered on this thread-

I pray the Lord blesses you as you start a new schedule. Remember to make it realistic for who YOU are and God's call for you!
In Christ,
Rebecca

[Carrie]

Ladies,

The wealth of wonderful ideas and tips is this thread is amazing. I am struck once again by how blessed we are to have one another on the board to uplift, empathize, and encourage each other on our HOD homeschool journey. Have I told you lately that you're amazing Christ-filled ladies?

Blessings,
Carrie