heartofdakota.com

NOTE: I brought this old thread back up for two reasons:

1- We have new faces and I wanted to see where they fit.

2- Next Thursday I am giving the Betty/Olive workshop at our convention and it helps to hear your Betty/Olive stories. Also, I am putting some of these into a book that I will be working on over the next couple of years, SOOOOO if you have good stories that really illustrate your Bettyness or your Olive. Please share them!

I was asked on another thread to post information about Betty's and Olives. Since many of us keep referring to these names We had a HUGE discussion on the "Homeschool Reviews" board and actually that was how HOD started getting discussed. Betty's started coming out of the woodwork to talk about HOD being the perfect curriculum for both personalities.

This is a long post. I broke it up thru several smaller posts.

It's hard to fully translate through writing because in the workshop we use stories to illustrate. There will be a CD available after the FPEA conference.

I found it easier to put it all out there at once.

I think Betty's will love HOD because it is put together in an organized and easy to understand format. I think Olives will love HOD because it adds creativity with a purpose. It's not just busy to BE busy and it's simple and laid out.

Know that neither personality is better or worse, right or wrong. We actually are Better Together. Most of us are married to our opposites. My husband grounds me and I give him wings. Together we make a GREAT team and I praise the Lord for bringing us together all those years ago.

Let me tell where this is coming from and the purpose behind it. My girlfriend and I are speaking in the leaders forum at the FPEA convention in Orlando this May. In my excitement and passion over this topic I started talking about it on homeschool reviews and it just exploded. We moms get excited about understanding who we are! The workshop is called....,


Accepting who "I" am as a Homeschooler!

Do you ever get caught up in noticing your friend's strengths and your weaknesses? Do you find yourself being tossed like waves in a storm when choosing curriculum? Do you see how something works so PERFECTLY for your best friend and then you buy it and try it and it's a dud in your home? Do you watch your friend with amazement as she plugs into activities, involves herself in co-ops, while maintaining a sense of JOY and yet you can't find time to run to the grocery store? Come to this workshop to better understand who YOU are, so that you can embrace your strengths, strengthen your weaknesses and find your curriculum GROOVE! Our prayer is that you will walk away encouraged and inspired being who God made you to be!

The background:

In the beginning of my homeschool journey I find myself striving to become what I admired, more than who God had made ME to be. (as a homeschooler, a parent, a wife)

Finally, a couple of years ago I started putting in writing observations I had made among my own personal friends. Those who were similiar and those who were different. What I gained from each relationship and what I struggled with. I found a PASSION and began polling moms locally and cyberly. Thus, the workshop was born!

One thing I had found to be an enigma through the whole process was that I was this creative, relational personality, but I did better with a more traditional approach in my homeschooling. I found my analytical, problem solving Olives were able to do Unit studies? I wanted unit study/lit based, but could not be consistent. Then as I researched I realized I COULD have that, but I would need a program that was scheduled out in an easy to follow format because as a Betty I struggle breaking things down into bite size doable portions.

So here was the quote that started everything...,

A friend gave me a quote from Mary Pride. (Loosely paraphrased)

"One of the biggest mistakes homeschoolers make is thinking that Betty Bohemian should use unit studies and Olive Organized should use traditional. NO, says Mary..., Betty needs structure to keep her on task, but has the creativity to spice up and add to a basic framework. On the Other hand, Olive needs help with creativity, but has the self discipline to stay on task."

The problem with Mary's quote was that it sucked me in and ended? I wanted to know WHO this Betty Bohemian was? Why couldn't I do these big FUN programs without feeling overwhelmed?

So let me give you the litmus test. I am almost positive I know who Carrie is just from reading her posts, but I'm curious to see if I'm right?

Litmus Test:

1- WHEN YOU ARE TRYING TO MAKE A DECISION DO YOU PULL "IN" AND QUIETLY CONTEMPLATE BEFORE DISCUSSING "OR" DO YOU NEED TO TALK IT OUT/TYPE IT OUT and THEN pull in to think?

2- DO YOU ERR ON THE SIDE OF RELATIONSHIPS OR RESPONSIBILITY? (A GOOD WAY TO KNOW THIS. WHEN ASKED TO PARTICIPATE IN AN OUTSIDE ACTIVITY/EVENT IS YOUR "FIRST" REACTION NORMALLY "SURE!" OR DO YOU FEEL A SENSE OF HESITANCY that turns into a "NO" more than a "YES"?)

Remember, you are not ALWAYS going to respond a certain way, so the question is what would more define how you think and respond? I find many Olives struggle labeling themselves and want to be a "Balanced Buella". The truth is we are either one or the other. As there are only 2 hemisphere's to the brain.

You can be a Betty and still able to organize and you can be an Olive and have strong relational skills. If your not sure study the two questions above.

Do you process by talking first and then thinking or vice versa?

Do you hesitate when activites come along and you feel like someone is needing a decision or do you jump? (within reason, we all hesitate occassionally)

Betty's

Characteristics of a Betty

a) Relational
b) Processing through conversation
c) Needs to be creative/ Must have wiggle room
d) Simplicity ='s Consistency w/ daily routine type tasks
e) Thrives in both giving and getting words of affirmation


Strengths

a) Encouragers
b) Excitement Builders
c) Empathetic
d) Emotional
e) Forgives and Forgets easily
f) Visionaries
g) Others Centered
h) Tend to see the glass half FULL
i) DOERS


Weaknesses

a) High expectations for others to be relational and affirming
b) Sensitive
c) Struggles being excited/content with routine
d) Struggles w/ self-discipline
e) Too quick to say Yes
f) Struggles with details
g) Can be naive


As a Betty I realized through this process that I am never going to be as quiet and thoughtful as my Olive friends. Our personality is simply the prism thru which we view the world and which the world views us.

OLIVES (most of my closest friends are Olives)

Characteristics of an Olive

a) Informational
b) Craves quiet, order and routine
c) Internalizes and ponders to figure things out
d) Likes to stick to a plan
e) Enjoys imparting knowledge and Insight


Strengths

a) Self Confident
b) Takes responsibility and commitments seriously
c) Loyal
d) Practical
e) Generally academic and capable
f) Good Listeners- Give good honest feedback
g) Purposeful/Diligent
h) Logical/ Analytical
i) THINKERS

Weaknesses

a) Not naturally in tune with others feelings (may appear insensitive at times)
b) May tend to respond to conflict with logic and reason rather than desired emotional support
c) Not naturally good at expressing feelings and emotions
d) Can be prideful and think their way is the right way, the only way
e) Can lean towards sarcasm when feeling uncomfortable
f) Judgemental
g) Too quick to say NO

Last one!

Neither is right or wrong, neither is better. It's learning to embrace who God made US and to walk in that. To see our weaknesses and to allow those to be the vehicle that gets us TO God, because his strength is made perfect in our weakness.

I am sure that Betty's using HOD take and tweak, but because of the easy to understand layout, the deep yet simple assingments Betty's can be consistent and Olives can be creative!

Closing observations:

Betty's have an easier time seeing the strengths of Olives. Because an Olives strength is responsibility that must mean to HER that Betty's are irresponsible.

Betty's tend to have a large resource of friends and thrive on those relationships, whereas an Olive has a smaller core group whom she is committed to for LIFE!

Betty's tend to become MORE talkative when an exciting new change or event happens in their life, whereas Olives tend to pull "IN" and become quieter.

Betty's tend to be more consistent when they keep routine type things simple. They fizzle and become INconsistent when they pack too much into their schedule.

Routine is DEATH to a Betty, but a TREASURE to an Olive- Betty's love coming up w/ plans, Olives love the sense of success when a plan is routinely being carried out.

When I read Mary's explanation on the types of HSers a while back I could see why I what I had tried before for my little ones had not worked and why LHFG was such a huge hit for us. Reading it again makes me so excited about starting BHFG with the rest of my kids. Carrie does what I really feel like other publishers miss, and that is work with different styles of teachers not just different learning styles for the students. Mary actually made me realize that with her awesome explanation that she gives here and that sold me on continuing with HOD for my younger kids. It also really got it straight in my head why it really works so well for us.


I have asked other publishers questions about adding things or making substitutions (that is my Betty way) and gotten very kind of stern answers about how the writer picked the perfect book to use and you really needed to use it to get "their" program. I love that Carrie's attitude is really about trying to make it work for who we our are and what you desire to teach your children. I recently just got a great solution from her that I know I would not gotten any place else. It was specific for my family and that is what a program really needs to be able to do I think. And now I am very excited to be starting BHFG too. We can't wait!

I am such a Betty, and my husband is a total Olive! I wonder if I should have been left-handed, too. When I was 2 I got my left thumb smashed in a door, and therefore was forced to use my right hand at a critical age-I notice that except for writing, I do a lot of things left-handed (and my writing is atrocious), which would also explain being right-brained, like my oldest son (who is a lefty) and my brother (who is also a lefty) and my brother-in-law(lefty!)
Lourdes

lol I'm finding this post very funny:
I'm so excited where will I fall an Olive or a Betty.. *reads with anticipation*.. OO I'm just like an Olive *I read on*... and I'm just like a Betty! No wait i must be a Olive I do that, No wait now I'm a Betty again... *at this point I start laughing*...

Man it happened again!!! It must be because I'm fairly ambidextrous I actually do make consistant use of both sides of my brain. I can eat with chopsticks with my right or left hand. People who are ambidextrous actually have a hard time making up their minds, because neither the logical or relational part of their brain is dominate.
I figured it out I'm
Ursula The Undecided.

And Still Carries stuff works great. ROFL

This is fun to read, and makes a lot of sense! I am a Betty... I bet a lot of Betty's respond to this post first - just because of our nature to do so. I do have a few shades of Olive; I do like "routine", but maybe that's because I like to keep routine things simple (more like Betty). I also just have a small core group of friends, like Olive, but I am very social with the few I have (like Betty). My husband and best friend are Olives, and I can see your description fits them well.

I do think HOD fits both Betty's and Olive's well... case in point, my best friend uses HOD too, and as I said, she's as much of an Olive as I am a Betty! Neat thread, Mary!

Thanks Mary! I really appreciate you taking the time to post all of that info....and THIS time I'm going to print it out!

I am such an Olive it is not even funny...but I am working on my weakness! I know I'm not always right....I just THINK I am !!

I have almost all the Betty characteristics as well, but I think they are tinted with an "olive" color....if that makes sense...

Melanie

Hi Mary!

This is a fun topic. I saw your first post over at HSR, and I thought, "I am 100% Olive!" However, since then, I have noticed some Betty tendancies... If I'm honest with myself, I have to admit that I do process through conversation, and then ponder. (But isn't that just part of being a WOMAN?! ) I've also had to admit that I can be quite impulsive with some decisions, which I often times regret later. (i.e. buying used curriculum for next year which I now have to resell so I can do Preparing Hearts... Why did I have to buy it so soon? What's the hurry anyway, right? ) But for the most part, when I read your list of Olive strengths and weaknesses, I felt like you were talking about me!

thanks, what a fun post!

i'm much more of a Betty, with Olive tendancies

I am a textbook Olive! I like order, structure and I can't stand clutter. I am an introvert and have no problem saying "no". I am working on being more sensitive and relational. I love HOD because I don't have to be creative, an area where I am lacking.

Gina

I loved reading through your feedback. I was wondering if it was all Betty's using HOD, but I now see it's split, smack dab down the middle. Btw, marypoppins...., You sound like a beautiful Olive Organized with some wonderful Betty qualities

OK fine, then I'm a Betty. I hate routines and am the world's most disorganized person. And yet my mother thinks I am so organized. Thank goodness she lives 5 hours away and will never "Pop In" on me. I couldn't handle her dissappointment to discover I am no more organized than she is.

While I absolutely love Five In A Row unit studies and we sometimes do them in addition to HOD. I am not organized enough to get it all done, which is why I love Carrie's lesson plans. The daily plans lay it all out for me so I don't have to figure out a daily plan.

THANK YOU CARRIE!!!!