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My DS12's penmanship has taken a real turn for the worse over the past several months. He used to have beautiful handwriting. He told me today that it is because he has to write more in quantity and more quickly so it doesn't take too long .... but it IS HARD for me to read. He also has a VERY light hand which makes it even harder to read at times. He feels self conscious about his writing especially when neatness and legibility count (as in note booking). He is also overwhelmed by drawing assignments and more so than I expected. He is in Unit 2 of RTR and today's science notebook assignment was to sketch, color and label a small solar system from a page in the astronomy text. It was VERY hard for him and he was paralyzed and upset by it. He couldn't figure out how to start or how to NOT make it wonky and messy. He hated that his circles weren't circles and that he was having difficulty figuring out where to write/place things on the paper. I didn't know what to do and he was basically unable to handle it. So, I told him that I would draw the small circle for the sun so he'd have a place to work from and I'd draw the ellipses (the orbits). Of course, *I* am no artist either and they weren't so pretty BUT they gave him a framework to get the planets drawn and labeled. I also told him that if/when he feels overwhelmed by an assignment like that he should ask for help and ask me to come alongside him to figure out how to do the work rather than having such an attitude . The interaction DID rock my boat a little though ...

I know I can't just say "just do it" because it is clear to me that certain drawing assignments overwhelm him and tempt him to speak disrespectfully or feel angry (due to frustration and even a bit of panic). So, how do I come alongside and help him know how to tackle trickier and more difficult drawing or sketching assignments? ANYTHING with fine motor skills are hard for him and always have been. He is doing fine with the history notebook and I'm being gracious with little mistakes and encouraging him along. He feels so concerned about his spelling mistakes or not fitting the text neatly or any number of little things. I keep telling him to do this best and that none of us can be perfect .

Have you thought about having him tested to see if his hand strength is where it should be and possibly do physical therapy. My son who is 8 did a year of OT and it was great! His hands were SO weak he could barely hold a pencil. Now, he writes with the best of them. And even though his hands strength was poor, he also lacked the dexterity to cut with scissors, trace lines accurately and draw. It was tough! My son also has Auditory Processing Disorder so he doesn't understand things like you and I would. So I do regularly sit with him and help him start a process of drawing something. I know my son is a lot younger but I ALWAYS praise what he does. His older sister is an Artist and her work looks amazing - much better than anyone in this family. She also goes out of her way to complement him. He does take his time and it can take a little bit longer for the box than others. But basically he just sits next to me and I jump in and help when he needs it. (I have scrap piece of paper and I start drawing something and then he mimics me with how we draw it.) Because of his APD I will probably have to do more hand holding with him than my girls, but that is okay. Also - because this is new to your son, it may take some time for him to get used to doing these activities. The first couple of months is probably the hardest. And my son even this year had some unrealistic expectations of how things should look. He has since relaxed a bit. But his work is improving so much! It still looks no where near what his older sister would come up with but I can tell what it is and that is good enough for him and for me:-)

Katrina, I have a ds who struggles immensely in this area as well. Working with our doctor, we have learned too balance his GABA and to be careful about letting him eat anything with msg. The msg is disguised in many foods under many names, however removing it has made such a difference in his ability to cope and chill out. He can actually accept that his work doesn't have to be"perfect" and he focuses so much better now. He is my highly sensitive child, and sleep and diet make such a difference for him. This may be a part of your puzzle too .

I think I might get an OT assessment just to make sure nothing else is going on with his hand strength. As a pediatric physical therapist I always tell people that if they notice a decrease in ability it is always good to get it checked out. If he were 8 or 9 I wouldn't worry about it, but at 12 he should have the endurance to do the writing in RTR. The notebooking assignments sounds like he has some visual processing issues going on. That can cause extreme frustration because he truly can't picture how it needs to go. I think it is fine for you to give him a few guidemarks or gridlines or even draw him an example to look off of. I would slowly pull back how much help you give him. The other suggestion I have is to let him type one assignment a day. That still works on fine motor skills. You could also get something like theraputty to work on his hand strength.

Katrina,

A couple of things jumped out at me in your post that I thought I'd respond to in the hopes you will be encouraged. First of all, I noticed that your son is in the opening two-three weeks of a new guide. This means that the amount of writing has gone up, along with much of the guide being new. Together this does have a learning curve that can take some time to conquer.

I'll share that for ALL three of older my sons, I noticed that as the written volume increased their legibility decreased. This is truly because of the reason your son already shared... with more to write and less time to do it within, something has to give and neatness is the thing that goes with boys. Also, it is more tiring to push hard on the paper, so it isn't uncommon for kiddos to conserve their strength by writing more lightly when they know they will be writing alot! And, when you are writing alot, then anything else having to be done on paper (especially things with a blank page staring back at you like in the drawing lessons) feels like just one more thing for an already weary hand.

Couple this with the fact that your son is 12 and for boys that is when puberty begins setting in (as we have seen with all three of our oldest sons - and we are going through it now with our current 12 year old), and you have an emotional roller coaster on your hands.

So, here are a few tips that we have found to help our boys through this stage (which goes on for about 3 years unfortunately). But, it does wane in the third year.

First, be less critical about the penmanship. I know this flies directly in the face of what Charlotte Mason would say, as she would expect less done better, but there is a time where work that is assigned just must get done. This is that time. So, I would back off on the "making everything excessively neat goal" and remember that this is a boy with volatile emotions with whom you are working. I have to remind myself of this daily with my own 12 year old boy!

Second, I would encourage him to trace as needed for drawing assignments. If he's drawing the solar system, use coins to trace around to make those perfect circles. Anytime there is a potential to trace around something or use a ruler for a sketching page, utilize that tool. This will save him much angst. We've allowed tracing around bottoms of glasses, plates, buttons, etc. to make circles for our kiddos sometimes too!

Third, switch to using pencil on the pages if you are using pen. It will be lighter writing on the page, but as long as my boys can read it back to me, I allow light writing. It is easier to erase and redo for a child who desires a clean copy and for whom frustration rises when things are spelled incorrectly or written incorrectly. Pen, on the other hand flows more easily on the page but it is harder to fix when there is an error. Ticonderoga pencils help here as they are stronger.

Fourth, I do have my kiddos read their work to me, and allow them to correct any mishaps as they read their work aloud. This is a quick fix and a quick way to correct errors without riddling their page with my marks. At this stage in their life, my marks seem to upset them. So, let them make their own changes with you by their side guiding. If they can't read it, they correct it.

Fifth, if he'd rather type sometimes allow that... as long as it doesn't lengthen his day or the assignment. Sometimes typing is a benefit and other times it is quicker just to write something.

Sixth, now that you know that drawing and lab type assignments where he draws are a stumbling block, when those assignments come up take a few moments to talk about where things go on the page and make a couple light pencil guide marks our outlines to get him started. Once he can see a plan, he'll go forward more confidently. Knowing a child's areas of weakness and being there before intense frustration sets in helps so much.

Anyway, hopefully these ideas will help. We have our own 12 year old who also struggles with light writing, messy penmanship, difficulty with the blank page, a tougher time with spelling than my other boys, and a quick rise to frustration level right now too. He is a lefty who had to be a righty, due to an accident with his fingers on his left hand when he was young. These are the things we are doing to help him, and the mood has improved. Plus, he is still gaining, even if it isn't always pretty! As I look back over how far he has come, I stand continually amazed! I just try to remind myself to compare my boys to where they used to be rather than to each other, as they are each so different.

I have also noticed with my older sons that the writing does improve again in later high school as they start to care more about being legible. So, remember you have years of ahead of you with which to tackle these concerns. My motto is to try to pick your battles during this stage!

Blessings,
Carrie

Thank you, Carrie, for your response. I have been following this thread with nothing to add as our oldest is newly 13 and has always struggled somewhat in this area (terrible printing, nice cursive but hates to use it as well as some executive functioning issues - do what when? put what where?). I think much of what you have written I will be able to put into practice in the coming year as he continues to be stretched (no pun intended) by HOD and puberty.

Blessings,