Need help for a child who hates history...

[Holmesclan8]

My 10yo dd is in week 5 of HOD Preparing. At first she seemed to like it, but now she complains about it:( She said it is babyish, hates the copywork and does not care for the poetry. I had Mystery of History on hand, and thought we would try that. We got 2 weeks in and she said she hated that. We had a BJU textbook as well, and after the first chapter, she hated that! UGH I am starting to see a pattern here. She says she hates something, and mommy switches. We are getting nowhere!

I personally LOVE HOD and my 7yo is loving Beyond... well, he can do without the poetry, but I think it is good for him. I feel like maybe this could be a character issue? I don't want her to hate her school work, but I am starting to wonder if I am being manipulated by my own daughter. She tends to say that either something is too babyish or too hard... I cannot find a middle ground for this child at all!! I have CTC on hand already, and I have thought about just starting her on that. I think it will feel a bit more "grown up" to her. I KNOW the complaints will come, but when they do, should I just ignore it and expect her to do the work anyway. Like I said, I love HOD and everything Carrie has put together. I absolutely love the balance.. I have read through about 1/2 of CTC and I have learned so much!! I just LOVE LOVE LOVE it.

I truly want to use HOD all the way through... What should I do here?!

[LynnH]

Honestly yes it sounds like you are being manipulated and this is more of a character issue. Sometimes dc go through a time of complaining and whining about things to see how much control they can have over things. I think this is the time we need to not give in to those complaints and I discuss with dc about what the bible says about doing everything without complaining. I draw a pretty firm line when it comes to complaining and whining. My ds who has some learning struggles is allowed to tell me something is challenging or hard, but I don't allow him to tell me he hates something. That is a negative attitude that will just continue to feed on itself and soon they are not content with anything. My opinion is you should look with honest eyes where she places on the placement chart. If it is Preparing then jump back into Preparing and hold firm as far as what kind of attitude is allowed. If it is CTC then you could go there, but know it is a very challenging guide and tell her up front and that you expect her to give best effort with everything and not complain about it.

[Nealewill]

TOUGH IT OUT!!!!!

I also agree with Lynn, I think you are being manipulated too. I also think your dd just might not like doing she doesn't like. That is life LOL. I have used a lot of stuff - not because kids didn't like it but because I didn't like it. I found HOD, and my kids do actually like it as a whole but each has gone through something they didn't like. They just had to preserver! That is pretty much our motto in this house! In our house, we don't really let the kids complain about school because they are always going to have to learn something they might not like. If it is hard, they are allowed to ask for help but in general, they have learned that they need to do what is given them and not complain or I have the ability to make them way more miserable than they were before they started complaining LOL.

I also agree with Lynn that I would check the placement chart. If Preparing is too easy, then I would have her complete CTC. I do wonder though if some of it is her just getting used to the way HOD teaches as well though. I will say, CTC is quite a leap in difficulty than Preparing so I wouldn't put in CTC unless she places there. It is a bit more writing and a lot more reading. But it is wonderful and fascinating. My dd is loving it.

[Rice]

We go through this at different times with our children, too. My DD is doing a brain training program (from Dianne Craft) this year because she's more than 2 grades behind in reading level. She drew a line in the sand one day a few weeks ago and refused to do it. Truthfully, it is incredibly boring and repetitive but that is the point; repetition of the exercises is what is to bring results. I explained our reasons for choosing this program then stated what we expected of her (she WILL do it at least until after Chritstmas; and as long as we deem necessary without complaining) and moved on to do other work where I could see her. She stood (I would not let her sit, as she was supposed to be standing to do the exercise) in the living room for about 1/2 hour or more but finally said she was ready to carry on. She has not complained about it since.

Another thing I've done at other times is to explain that it is their "job" to do their school work and learn all they can to the best of their ability. It is Dad's job to do XYZ and my job to care for them and their Dad, teach them and be responsible for the house and it's their job to obey their parents and do their chores and school work. There is no negotiation allowed. If something is too difficult, boring, etc. they are allowed (after showing obedience by doing the work and finding a time outside school time to approach me) to come and request a change of books/subject matter, etc. if done in a respectful way, but otherwise they will follow the course chosen by us as set out by Carrie (and I've even explained her qualifications and work that has gone into it).

Blessings as you work it out and consider what steps to take next,

[MelInKansas]

Once they get to this level school is hard work and there are likely to be complaints at some point. Most of us would rather sit and do what we want rather than buckle down and do hard work. But we have to do the work in order to learn and grow, and this is an important character building time for her, it seems.

Perhaps when she first complained she was just airing her feelings. There are still good and bad ways to do this. But now that you've switched things a few times, all to find that she doesn't like those other options any better, it may have turned into a "I'm going to keep complaining until I get my way," sort of an attitude. It'd be hard to say. Again, surely there are things she doesn't like about it, but we can't always avoid doing everything we don't like.

My guess is now that you've gone through a few different things you've seen 1) what seems to work with her and 2) what level she should be at. Was Preparing really too easy? I don't think her complaint of "babyish" is a good indicator for that. The placement chart, plus your own experience with the parts of Preparing you already did, should tell you whether or not she was well placed in it. If not, figure out where she places and do that. You say you'd like to do HOD all the way through, if that's really what you think is best, then you are the mom and your decision should weigh a lot more than her opinion.

Have a heart to heart with her, and then explain that this is what school is going to be, at least until X time, and what you expect from her in doing it. LynnH's thought is right on track as far as I would say too. If something is hard, or they don't understand that is fine to express. I do even let my daughter say "I don't want to do this." Her most common complaint about school work is that she's tired and she doesn't want to do it (this is always during the same subjects, the ones she doesn't like). I don't mind her telling me that, even if it sounds a bit whiny on the first expression of that feeling. She's expressing how she feels. If it turns into belligerence, refusal, or causes continuing struggle in my trying to work with her to help her get it done, that's when it becomes a discipline issue to me. We talk about how we often have to do things we don't want to do. We often have to do something even when we are tired and don't feel like it. How it honors God, and it makes life so much easier to just go ahead and get it done with minimal distraction and complaining. Then we can move on to things we would rather do. If we are still struggling we stop and pray. I won't say this always turns things around, and sometimes I have to give her some time to get over her frustration before we can move on. But generally that seems to help.

[my3sons]

As long as dd is not overloaded with other things in her day (i.e. a ton of activities, extra subjects, extra work), and as long as she is just responsible for PHFHG's planned workload, which should amount to about 3 to 3 1/2 total hours of work a day, I totally agree with the wise advice shared here. This amount of time and work allows for much free time in the day for a 10 yo still, and is very appropriate for her age.

As far as history not being her favorite thing, I think back to my schooling, and I can't think of 1 person who loved every single part of it, can you? I did like school, but certainly not all of it, and certainly not all of the time. It is not feasible that our dc will 'love' or even 'like' every single part of their school, and once they learn that by complaining we will skip things or keep changing things, the complaining only increases. They actually begin to think that their education is such an unimportant thing that they at 10 yo (or whatever the age may be) can just randomly pick and choose at whim what they do and don't have to do. This is not the case, and for a good reason. There are standards to be met, specific skills to be learned, and important work that must be done. Once your dd has this shift in thinking, she will realize that her work in school is very important work that will impact the success of her future, both in school and in life. So, this is a good conversation to have now!

So, dear fellow mom, take real comfort in knowing this is not your role as the teacher - to make dd love every part of her learning. You have a higher calling. Your role is to fully educate your child, giving her the tools she needs to be successful, and often times, that means helping our dc do that which is hardest, because frankly it is often what they are the worst at doing (we all tend to dislike areas of expertise that are not natural giftings ). So, good news! You are in the driver's seat here, and you as the homeschool mom have the most knowledge about what your dc need to learn. You know HOD is awesome, you researched it, you've read the books, and you are enjoying looking ahead yourself! You made a good choice - academically and Biblically. So, I would just square my shoulders, roll up my sleeves, and move forward with purpose and with joy that is unaltered by dc's current feeling of the day. And, I'd also let dd know that her 'job' this year is to do what is in her guide, that this is what is expected academically for a person of her age, and that it is important work she will learn to take great joy in doing well as she matures. HTH!!!

In Christ,
Julie