First, I just want to you know that I am praying for you for freedom from the enemy. He is the one who brings guilt and makes us feel like a failure. And I am glad that sharing your story is hopefully helping to bring some freedom, healing and hope.
When you wrote your post yesterday, I hadn't had the time to reply and the first thing I thought of was the guides RestoRef, Preparing and then either Little Hearts or Beyond. I think the cursive thing will not be an issue. To me, I would put it up to you decided whether or not you teach your oldest cursive. I think it is nice to know but necessary?? I leave that to you. For your kids in Preparing though, I would purchase cheerful cursive and have them do one lesson per day. This way when they get to CTC, they can start writing things in cursive. As for math - the level you chose doesn't dictate the math. That is all up to you. Are you planning on continuing on with the current math program that you are using? If not, I highly recommend Singapore. But if you don't have the time to teach it and you are stressed already, there may be other math programs already out there specific for this purpose you have. I am sure that you are not the first person who has a child behind and I would think there are some programs available that will help. I know with Singapore, it teaches many things in a different order. So you may check the placement chart and see where your oldest lines up. The good news is that if he is at level 4 or 5, you could probably cover one and half levels (3 student books) each year and then he would be on track for algebra by the time he is 15. But that would include doing math over the summer possibly. Or he could double up on his lessons (but not sure how you feel about that). If he is struggling with a concept, then doubling up is not good. If is he totally understanding, then doing 2 lessons would be fine. And with Singapore, the lessons are short. So he would only spend 20-30 minutes of his time doing his portion of the calculations.
As for grammar, I love R&S! I think if your oldest is behind, I would start him in R&S 3 and plan to do the whole book that year. Some stuff may seem easy but this is where they start with diagraming. I have not used R&S 4 yet but my oldest dd starts that this year and the stuff is more complicated than R&S 3. By starting in 3, you will know that your child is growing and understanding and each level will build upon a solid foundation. I would then just do a R&S book each year with that child until he graduates. R&S is a very solid program. HOD only goes through level 8. If you finish at least level 7 by the time he graduates, your oldest will have more grammar instruction than most kids in school! As for the other kids, you could start them in grammar when they have grammar in their level. For the children doing Preparing, they would also complete level 3 R&S. I am not sure of the age of the kids in Beyond but you could have them do the grammar already included in the Beyond level or start them in R&S 2. However, by the time they reach Bigger, they could just complete R&S 2 that year.
As for spelling, HOD has studied dictation and I would go with their plans for spelling. This is going to help you move fast through your day and studied dictation is a great way to practice spelling.
The writing programs in each of the HOD levels are great as well because they are multi grade programs. So you oldest doing R2R would still learn a ton in the that writing program.
The last few things I wanted to mention is that by your oldest doing R2R alone, he is going to get the opportunity to grow significantly at his pace. One of my FAVORITE things about HOD is it is actually extremely easy to run multiple levels. I am running 3 guides next year and my teacher time will not be more than 4 hours per day. I know you have 6 kids so you will probably have an extra hour in there teaching math at multiple levels and listening to kids read. But honestly, if you use the products that HOD recommends, your teaching time is kept at a minimum and the kids learn a ton! In addition, with R2R, you will only spend about 1 hour a day teaching your oldest. Obviously, you will need to get him to a grove. So you may want to go slow for the first month or so to help him get used those the program. But other than that, I think he will feel very accomplished and eager to work hard on his day. My oldest did Preparing last year and that was the first time she had independence. It was a total win in this home! Also, the books are absolutely fascinating and my kids are HUNGRY to read them. With Preparing, you will probably be spending about 1.5 hours a day teaching. As for Beyond, you will probably spend about 1.5 hours a day with this program as well. So 4 hours a day teaching! Who can beat that
??? And the kids learn a ton LOL! It is wonderful.
As for what to get - For R2R, you would want to get the Economy package for history. You would need to decide if you wanted to do the Shakespeare study. I think your son would like the study if you can afford to add it, but if not, he will still receive an excellent education without it. For science, you would choose either Option 1 or Option 2 based on the books you have read in the past. On a side note, I love every book written by John Hudson Tiner so if you haven't read the books for option 1, that would be my pick. There is study in here for Boys as well. You could decide if this is something you want to add or not. I know that a portion of it does give "the talk" but I think is much more than that. It is just a strong devotional for boys in general. You can add the option of getting the CD to help in memory work. If money is very tight, this might be something I would not purchase but my kids learn well by audio so I personally am glad to have this resource. You will need the writing program and need the manual and student book combo. And for grammar, I would go with R&S 3. If you do this, in total I would buy 1 teacher book and 2 student book. This way your 3 oldest could share the 2 student books. For math, I would consider Singapore. It is a very affordable program and does a great job in teaching to understand the concepts. Now to the story packages. These aren't required but they are my children's favorite part of our day. For you oldest, I would probably skip the basic package and have him complete the extension package alone. The story time books aren't necessary, but especially for you oldest it will definitely extend the learning. And if you choose to teach this child cursive, I would add in a student cursive workbook for him. I really like Cheerful cursive. It makes learning cursive a breeze.
For Preparing, you will need to purchase the economy package for the history portion. Then you will need to purchase the science add on - this was my dd's favorite part of last year. You will also need math. I would consider switching the younger kids to Singapore as well if you feel comfortable. Then I would do R&S 3 with these kids as well. So that is why in R2R, I would purchase 2 student books. This way your two younger kids could go through the lessons at the same time. The Lead me to the Rock CD was fantastic and I highly recommend it. But again, if money is tight and you can't afford it, I would cut it. You will need the deluxe package as well (#8 in the catalog) because this ties to the independent history study portion of the program. Then you have to decide if you are come to the extension pack (#9 in catalog) or the basic package (#7 in catalog). These are the readaloud story time books or the independent story time books. These books are my children's favorite part of their day but again, if you money is tight, they aren't required. Lovely yes, but not required. I also would add in a student cursive workbook for each of these children.
As for Beyond, hopefully this is a little bit more clear. You will need the economy package, the basic package items, and math. Spelling is included as is grammar lessons in the teacher manuals. As for story time, the units are based on genre. You could easily use the library to pick your books and many listed in the packages are also available at the library.
The last thing I haven't mentioned is reading in general for your kids. If your younger kids don't know how to read yet, HOD recommends either The Reading Lesson or Reading Made Easy. If your kids do know how to read, you will need to know what level they are reading at. If they are solidifying phonics, they will need the emerging readers. All of those books are available at the library. That will help save some money. If your children are reading well, they will need to being DITHOR. You will need a teacher's manual and then a student workbook for each child in the program. I would do DITHOR for the child in R2R and the children in Preparing. The great news is that even though HOD has book packs (many of which I have purchased), you can actually use any books you want for the program. So you can get these reading books from the library too. This will also help cut down on costs. In addition, using DITHOR, you will only cover about 5 books per year. So the student books are set up for all 9 genres of literature. The student books are meant to last for 2 years. Finally, at the end of each book your child reads this year, you would complete a project. Since this is your first year using the program, purchasing only one of the Book Projects to Send Home books would be fine. I would probably purchase the Level 4. I am not sure what level your kids read at, but the student workbook is based on their reading level. You would want to look that the different book packs and see what level your child reads at. My guess is that the children in Preparing could either complete level 2/3 or 4/5. Level 4/5 has more writing activities than Level 2/3. Your oldest would probably do best in Level 4/5 this year just to get into the groove of the program.
The one thing that is really nice about doing the levels you chose is that you can easily modify Rev2Rev and MTMM for high school in future years. In addition, you are not doing any guides back to back. This way things seem more fresh to the younger kids for when the older children go through the high guides. And finally, I think if money is really tight, I would pray to God for him to find a way for you to afford it. I know HOD does do payment plans. And for me - I have seen magnificent fruit in my children from using this curriculum. I started last year and had to buy 2 levels. This year, I had to buy 3. To me, it has been worth every penny. My kids have learned SO much and they love what they are learning. They have been begging for a few weeks now to start school back up and I have finally agreed. They all love the hands on activities and the books. I love the volume of learning and their retention from it. This program has blessed my family immeasurably! For me - I work from home and had to find something that would fit my family, grow my kids, be something we could actually get done, and encourage a strong Godly relationship and Biblical foundation. HOD is just that. So again, I will pray for you that the Lord make a path for you to make this purchase.
I'mjust going to give the run-down of where each kid places across the chart, so maybe that can help others help me.