Are We Starting too Young?

[thebridalshoppe]

New here and needing support. New to homeschooling, too. We started LHFHG last fall with our then 5 1/2 yo son. Using The Reading Lesson for phonics and McRuffy Math with a little Life of Fred, too. We've been loosely structured over the last 8 mths. Once we get going with school in the morning he loves the read-alouds and does great with comprehension and same for the Bible lessons. But he balks with math lessons, phonics and writing. He has a general negative attitude about "school." I know he sees it as pulling him away from what he wants to be doing. He usually likes the math too once I get him focused and doing it. And for the phonics stuff I have tried incorporating physical activities (he has sensory issues) which seems to help but can be so time consuming. I love LHFHG and it seems age appropriate for him, at least seems to understand and comprehend it on an academic level. Yet I've recently read a book called A Thomas Jefferson Education and I thought it has some great points about different "Phases of Learning." My take is that the Core Phase (birth -8) is for learning through life with lots of exploring with parent-mentors close by to answer all the questions. That they are actually learning a lot by playing and that their natural curiosity leads them to what they need to learn during this phase. And it also says that Core Phase is an excellent time for a lot of read-alouds and quality and classic picture books. I really love all of this and it makes my heart say, "Yes!" They say that the next phase after Core, "Love of Learning," is when they usually start wanting to read on their own. It also says that some kids will want to start reading at a younger age that's ok too if they show the natural curiosity. Before reading about Thomas Jefferson Education and Core Phase I just figured our son just has a selfish attitude and that he needs to learn to do things he doesn't want to do sometimes, like phonics, math lessons and writing practice. I always try to make it fun, too much sometimes! And I try to have a positive attitude. My personality lends to be more passive and I know he can manipulate me and try to control every situation (he also has sensory issues.) So I've learned a lot in the last year about parenting, enabling, entitlement, structure, sensory processing, attitudes, etc. Now I am reading about Core Phase and now wonder if maybe he's just too young for this type of structured learning? When doing LHFHG I've tried breaking it up by doing one the learning through history section at one time and then the Basics section at a different time. I've tried breaking up the Basics with play in between. I've tried doing half speed. But he just seems to resist the basics (except literature, which he loves) however I try to do it. I usually do all of the read-aloud parts while he is playing with blocks or something like that. I guess the resistance comes out when I need to pull him away from his activities. So, I guess what I'm wondering is, how much of this is attitude that needs to be disciplined, sensory issues, or just that he is a little boy and he's just now ready for the structure? I disliked school (public) as a kid and never appreciated learning until I was an adult. I am afraid of turning him off to learning in the way that I experienced. If anyone could offer advice on how they would handle this situation, I would be greatly appreciative! Sorry this is so long. Oh, by the way, we also have a 3 year old son who is always wanting to model after his big brother Thanks so much for any advice you can offer!

[pjdobro]

I know there are others that can offer better insight than I can, but I'll try to give you a few thoughts.

First and foremost I would diligently seek God on this issue and see how He leads you. Every child is different and sometimes it's difficult to distinguish whether it is just developmental or a control issue which is at the heart of the situation. I don't think I can answer that question since every child is really different on when they are ready to begin a more formal education. I will say though that boys are typically less ready at a younger age to do anything school-like. Little boys tend to like to be active and discover things on their own. One of the wonderful things about the HOD curriculum is that it does take that into consideration and incorporates things like the hand plays, rhymes with motion, and other things like that in the younger guides. That's one of the things that I loved the many years that I've been using HOD is how developmentally appropriate it is.

LHFHG is a great guide and I realize that the recommendation starts at age 5, but I think that would be for a child age 5 who is really ready to start doing school. We did that guide with my children as a first grade guide starting when they were 6 yrs 3 months and I thought it was just right for them then. Even starting at 6, for my ds, the writing was still challenging and not his favorite thing.

I have two children doing the guides together, twins, one boy and one girl. That's been interesting and I can offer a little insight based on that. My dd was eager to start doing things school related like reading, my ds wasn't. Reading was difficult for him, and I think probably the only thing that motivated him to want to read was the fact that he had a sister that was reading. Writing was neither of my dc's favorite activity, but my dd wanted to write because she wanted to express herself. He didn't want to express himself that way so he wasn't keen on writing. They are a little less than typical though in that she is my more active child so she was the one that had a more difficult time sitting through lessons.

One thing that was important at that age was to keep the lessons short. I know that is one of the things that Charlotte Mason believed in, short lessons to match the attention span of the child. The idea is that they have to give their full attention for that short period of time and then be able to move onto something else. I would recommend really sticking to this and make sure that his lessons are short and that you require him to be fully attentive during the lesson. If necessary set a timer and let him know that the lesson will only be so long and if he gives his full attention during the lesson he can go do something else afterwards. I think it is important that dc learn to give their full attention to the lesson when they are young. It really pays off in the later years. It's also important for them to know what to expect, like how long is this going to take away from what they really want to be doing. It can be difficult to go from the realm of free play to having a structure. The child can see that as imposing on his time and none of us like that. So setting some expectations for him ahead of time and letting him know somewhat of a schedule helps also.

I'm not trying to say that I think you have to force him to do lessons. You do want to preserve that love of learning. It could be that he just isn't ready yet for a more formal study of phonics and writing. If so, he isn't ready for LHFHG quite yet and that's ok. Maybe he would do better doing LHTH with just some of the fun K workbooks like the fine motor skills thrown in. I know there are quite a few people who have used LHTH for kindergarten then used LHFHG for first grade. Many of my friends kept their ds from starting public school kindergarten until they were 6. If I had sent my son to a public kindergarten, I wouldn't have sent him until he was 6. His preschool teacher told me that he just wasn't ready. It wasn't that he wasn't ready academically, he just wasn't ready developmentally.

I don't know if any of that is helpful. I know that it's tough. Parenting is tough and trying to figure out what is best for each of our dc is tough. Sometimes what works for one dc doesn't work with the other. We're all individuals created with our own unique personalities and gifts. Fortunately we have a Heavenly Father who knows us and our children intimately, understands, and will guide us. May God grant you wisdom as you seek Him.

[chillin'inandover]

I will be praying for your household. My daughter had many issues when young requiring special services. When she was k age she did LHTH with k resources like handwriting and phonics. It was a short day, but perfect fit. She had plenty of time to explore and play with her short day. As she matured she was able to handle more and more. She just finished. 2nd grade and is in unit/week 5 of Bigger. She is breezing through each day and states it is so much fun to do school. Although she is a girl (most are known to like school) she completes her day quickly, thoroughly, carefully, and enthusiastically. She is in the middle of guide's age range and is taking 2.25 hours (45 minutes less than suggested time). She schools 4 days a week and was doing preschool program in k. She took required annually testing for the first time and is in the highest category/scoring for each area tested. That just shows how when ready they will learn. It is ok to slow down or even school 4 days at this age. Next thing you know he will be ready.
Completing school slowly and at her pace when she was ready to learn has allowed her to thrive. Each child has been uniquely created by our loving Lord. God desires each person to know His Word so the reading will happen. It is a balance to knowing when it is a heart issue or a will issue when dealing with behaviors of resistance to school. Praying for wisdom to know. I love how HOD has so many opportunities to focus in the heart of our children. Are you taking a summer break. Kids really mature and grow like grass over the summer. We need that refreshment too!

[thebridalshoppe]

Thanks so much for your encouragement! I feel so peaceful about slowing down after reading both of your suggestions. I think that is an answer to prayer. And thank you for your prayers! I had already decided to take a couple weeks off from school but it's been so much less stressful that I think we'll keep it up for the rest of the summer. Still doing lots of read alouds and great story books and focusing on outside play and family activities. I now feel more confident I will know when he is ready for more structured learning