7th Grader Doesn't Want to Homeschool

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amypinva
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Aug 07, 2013 6:54 pm

7th Grader Doesn't Want to Homeschool

Post by amypinva » Wed Aug 07, 2013 7:24 pm

I would appreciate any advice or encouragement to help the transition from private Christian school to homeschooling my daughter this year. She will be in 7th grade and is very upset that we have decided to home-school her. It's a long story (private school closed, public school not an option). I am very excited about the HOD curriculum and will be using Revival to Revolution. But I am definitely worried about her missing her friends, being lonely, and comparing myself to her many different teachers who previously made her subjects so exciting. I have her signed up for an outside writing class, Community Bible Study, and she's on a basketball team so she's not going to be completely isolated. Still, has anyone ever home-schooled just one child or have advice for making this transition? Thank you so much!

raceNzanesmom
Posts: 502
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2010 1:06 pm

Re: 7th Grader Doesn't Want to Homeschool

Post by raceNzanesmom » Thu Aug 08, 2013 1:13 am

Our oldest came home starting in 7th grade after being in public school K-6. Your having outside activities should help, at least a bit. Try to ease into it, validate her feelings best you can, pray with her and for her, and keep the lines of communication open. ((hugs)) I'll be praying.
~Angie
Helpmeet to James for twenty six years
Mom to Race, 23- homeschool grad and Zane, 12- RTR

8arrows
Posts: 965
Joined: Tue Aug 26, 2008 4:49 pm

Re: 7th Grader Doesn't Want to Homeschool

Post by 8arrows » Thu Aug 08, 2013 8:33 am

You have great curriculum and some outside activites--that is a great start. Praying with her is a great idea! What does she really like to do? Eat out? Ride bikes? I would schedule some Mom and me time to do that each week. Have things to look forward to. Julie (on this board) has hot chocolate time with her boys individually as she has their individual time. Make some "get-together" dates with friends from the school she has attended in the past. Something special each day to look forward to (no matter how small) makes a huge difference with my children.
Melissa, wife to Jim for 28 years
3 graduated, 2 using US 2, 8th grade dd using Missions to Marvels
Isaiah 40:11 ...He gently leads those that have young.

chillin'inandover
Posts: 151
Joined: Thu Jul 25, 2013 9:05 am

Re: 7th Grader Doesn't Want to Homeschool

Post by chillin'inandover » Thu Aug 08, 2013 2:43 pm

Amypinva,
As I read this I am so excited for you as you begin this adventure that will bless you and your daughter. I lost my mom in February so I am thinking of all the missed opportunities I must now face. I so wanted time with my mom growing up, but your daughter will get that chance. I graduated 2 daughters, I ask them if they regret homeschooling and missed opportunities to hang with friends. They have both thanked me for homeschooling them and allowing them to pursuit their passions which would not be as likely in the regular ps. Both are confident and prepared in their journey. They are thankful they didn't have to deal with the issues at high school full time as they took some classes at the high school. They could remove themselves from the hectic pace and develop relationships, first with Jesus and then parents and then siblings and then friends. These relationships have been the anchor during the tumultuous teenage years.
Oh, our life has not been easy but it has been blessed beyond comprehension. Praying that you and your family's cup overflows with blessings as you take this step. May you receive what you need for the tough days to press on and not become discouraged. In Him.
Tammy
Wife of 32 years
Mom to 4
DD 29 Technical Manager FA, Playwright, Producer, Lighting Designer
DD 28 Master in TESL, Lead ELL teacher 3rd grade
DD 19 AAS welding
DD 16 , WH
Home Educator since 2000 HOD LHTH-US2

cjbaby
Posts: 22
Joined: Sat Jan 12, 2013 7:40 am

Re: 7th Grader Doesn't Want to Homeschool

Post by cjbaby » Fri Aug 09, 2013 9:22 am

Another helpful hint: Contact your local school board to get a list of local homeschool groups. We have an awesome group here. We have a homeschool group for 4-H, Girl Scouts, Book Club, and more. It will really help your daughter transition better if you can locate homeschoolers in her own age range.
Christina

DD 7 years old
LHTH, LHFHG, currently using Beyond
DS due in October

raindrops
Posts: 303
Joined: Sun Apr 22, 2012 9:51 am

Re: 7th Grader Doesn't Want to Homeschool

Post by raindrops » Fri Aug 09, 2013 10:06 am

I would be surprised if your family was the only one who is choosing homeschooling since the private Christian school is closing..? None of your dd's friends' families have chosen this route? What are they doing?

You likely already have a homeschool group near you too. 4H and co-op and more!
9 yr old boy in Preparing
6 yr old girl loving all things LHFHG

psreit
Posts: 1034
Joined: Wed Feb 10, 2010 7:17 am
Location: Pennsyvania

Re: 7th Grader Doesn't Want to Homeschool

Post by psreit » Sun Aug 11, 2013 11:50 am

Our son came home in 7th grade. He didn't have a problem socially by doing that. I will say, having a daughter coming home at that age, have outside activities for her. My son played basketball and went to co-ops and on field trips, but I know he would have been content staying home and reading books. But, my girls were different. They needed that social network. If I would have homeschooled from the beginning, it may have been different. I would have had 3 together. Now with my youngest, since she is the only one homeschooling, she definitely needs those outside resources. As other pp's have said, see if there is a homeschool group in your area. If your daughter can make friends among other homeschoolers, I think she will enjoy homeschooling. Also, take time to do things together, like Bible study, baking, crafts, etc. If the two of you have a close relationship, she will not be as quick to feel she's being deprived of friends. She will be content to be home with you. My youngest loves to do things with me. if let to herself, she is usually not doing things that are very constructive. She's younger than your daughter and has some attention problems, so she needs more instruction, but being by herself adds to her discontent. She loves being with other kids. You've chosen a wonderful curriculum. Enjoy your year. :D
I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth. III John 4
Pam
dh 33 yrs
ds29 church planter in MA
dd27 SAH mom
dd26
dd 12
3 dgs(5,2, & born 6/15) & 2 dgd(3 & born 2/15)

my3sons
Posts: 10702
Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2007 7:08 pm
Location: South Dakota

Re: 7th Grader Doesn't Want to Homeschool

Post by my3sons » Sun Aug 11, 2013 8:20 pm

These ladies are so encouraging - they have already given such good advice and insight! :D We just finished 7th grade with my ds, and we had a really good year. HOD was incredibly helpful not only academically, but also in a faith-building, and relationship-building (between my ds and me) way. :D We clipped along with our homeschooling, but when it came to Biblical worldview discussions or devotions or Bible Study type things, we took our sweet time. :)

I think it is helpful to remember that most 7th graders are a bundle of emotions as they tackle their changing emotions, bodies, faith, and maturity. No matter what your dd was doing this year for 7th grade, it's a somewhat awkward, gawky, insecure time for most teenagers. This probably isn't so uplifting to hear, I know, but I just wanted to mention this so you can go into this year knowing you don't need to attribute every up and down to your homeschooling her. :wink:

I learned a lot about my ds during these times, and he learned a lot about me. This is the time to share feelings, stories, insights, temptations, successes, lessons learned, how to deal with disappointments, how to choose who to have relationships with, etc. - and these are the real lessons of life. I am so thankful that my ds and I had that time together last year, and I am thankful looking ahead for it this year too. It is an effort to hang on to our dc's hearts and minds through these somewhat turbulent years. HOD has really helped me do that, with Christ at the center at the helm. :D

It helped me to have a meeting time in the middle of my ds's day, about halfway or 2/3 of the way through his independent work time. We would meet and have hot cocoa or hot tea (or coffee for me) and go through what he had initialed he'd finished in his guide. I'd follow up with him on each box, asking whatever questions were in the box, looking at what he had finished, helping him edit whatever needed to be fixed, etc. This was a positive time to encourage him. Then, I did the bulk of my teaching boxes with him. I made sure during our more private discussions (i.e. Biblical Worldview) that we were completely alone and able to really discuss things with no one in earshot. What a blessing you will be able to do this with your dd! :D

I also let my ds choose his schedule, within my parameters. He likes being more in control of his day, though he is not completely. I let him start his day earlier, because he wanted to. I let him be up with my dh before he leaves for work, as this was important to him. I let him stay up later at night as well.

It helped to make some special times with him. I found a cheap movie night with popcorn to take him to. I bump the volleyball around with him - though this may be coming to an end as it HURT. :wink: I take him out for Dairy Queen sometimes. We eat out together once and awhile. If he is excited about watching a certain movie or playing a certain board game, I set up time for him to do that with his cousins at our house. I also try to stop everything and talk with him when he comes to talk to me. Usually, he has something on his mind he wants to share. I also limit his media capabilities and time. I don't want that to come between us or be a bad habit.

These things have all seemed to help, but I will have to keep figuring this out as we go - I know for sure I don't have it all figured out and probably never will. I just thought I'd share a few things that are currently working with our soon to be eighth grader. You'll be the best person in the world to teach your dd this year. Of that I am certain. Things may not go perfectly, but you'll be together, using a fantastic Christian curriculum together, making memories together, working through this difficult time in your dd's life together - and that is still an incredible blessing even on the most difficult of days. We'll go through it together, ok? Taking one step each day, with the Lord leading. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." :D You are on the brink of making a real difference in your dd's life, of really knowing her better than you probably ever have, and of making an impact on her that is sure to be an anchor for her the rest of her life. Mother and daughter together with Christ in the midst - what could be better? God will surely bless you in this endeavor. I am excited for this year for you and for your dd. Be sure to share it with us here! :D :D :D

In Christ,
Julie
Enjoyed LHTH to USII
Currently using USI
Wife to Rich for 28 years
Mother to 3 sons, ages 23, 20, and 16
Sister to Carrie

my3sons
Posts: 10702
Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2007 7:08 pm
Location: South Dakota

Re: 7th Grader Doesn't Want to Homeschool

Post by my3sons » Sun Aug 11, 2013 8:21 pm

These ladies are so encouraging - they have already given such good advice and insight! :D We just finished 7th grade with my ds, and we had a really good year. HOD was incredibly helpful not only academically, but also in a faith-building, and relationship-building (between my ds and me) way. :D We clipped along with our homeschooling, but when it came to Biblical worldview discussions or devotions or Bible Study type things, we took our sweet time. :)

I think it is helpful to remember that most 7th graders are a bundle of emotions as they tackle their changing emotions, bodies, faith, and maturity. No matter what your dd was doing this year for 7th grade, it's a somewhat awkward, gawky, insecure time for most teenagers. This probably isn't so uplifting to hear, I know, but I just wanted to mention this so you can go into this year knowing you don't need to attribute every up and down to your homeschooling her. :wink:

I learned a lot about my ds during these times, and he learned a lot about me. This is the time to share feelings, stories, insights, temptations, successes, lessons learned, how to deal with disappointments, how to choose who to have relationships with, etc. - and these are the real lessons of life. I am so thankful that my ds and I had that time together last year, and I am thankful looking ahead for it this year too. It is an effort to hang on to our dc's hearts and minds through these somewhat turbulent years. HOD has really helped me do that, with Christ at the center and at the helm. :D

It helped me to have a meeting time in the middle of my ds's day, about halfway or 2/3 of the way through his independent work time. We would meet and have hot cocoa or hot tea (or coffee for me) and go through what he had initialed he'd finished in his guide. I'd follow up with him on each box, asking whatever questions were in the box, looking at what he had finished, helping him edit whatever needed to be fixed, etc. This was a positive time to encourage him. Then, I did the bulk of my teaching boxes with him. I made sure during our more private discussions (i.e. Biblical Worldview) that we were completely alone and able to really discuss things with no one in earshot. What a blessing you will be able to do this with your dd! :D

I also let my ds choose his schedule, within my parameters. He likes being more in control of his day, though he is not completely. I let him start his day earlier, because he wanted to. I let him be up with my dh before he leaves for work, as this was important to him. I let him stay up later at night as well.

It helped to make some special times with him. I found a cheap movie night with popcorn to take him to. I bump the volleyball around with him - though this may be coming to an end as it HURT. :wink: I take him out for Dairy Queen sometimes. We eat out together once and awhile. If he is excited about watching a certain movie or playing a certain board game, I set up time for him to do that with his cousins at our house. I also try to stop everything and talk with him when he comes to talk to me. Usually, he has something on his mind he wants to share. I also limit his media capabilities and time. I don't want that to come between us or be a bad habit.

These things have all seemed to help, but I will have to keep figuring this out as we go - I know for sure I don't have it all figured out and probably never will. I just thought I'd share a few things that are currently working with our soon to be eighth grader. You'll be the best person in the world to teach your dd this year. Of that I am certain. Things may not go perfectly, but you'll be together, using a fantastic Christian curriculum together, making memories together, working through this changing time in your dd's life together - and that is still an incredible blessing even on the most difficult of days. We'll go through it together, ok? Taking one step each day, with the Lord leading. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." :D You are on the brink of making a real difference in your dd's life, of really knowing her better than you probably ever have, and of making an impact on her that is sure to be an anchor for her the rest of her life. Mother and daughter together with Christ in the midst - what could be better? God will surely bless you in this endeavor. I am excited for this year for you and for your dd. Be sure to share it with us here! :D :D :D

In Christ,
Julie
Enjoyed LHTH to USII
Currently using USI
Wife to Rich for 28 years
Mother to 3 sons, ages 23, 20, and 16
Sister to Carrie

amypinva
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Aug 07, 2013 6:54 pm

Re: 7th Grader Doesn't Want to Homeschool

Post by amypinva » Tue Aug 13, 2013 7:18 am

I want to thank all of you lovely ladies who responded with such wonderful advice and encouragement. I have felt God leading me to home-school my 7th grader and know it's the right thing to do. Self-doubt and her tears over missing her friends at school really did a number on my confidence. But between the wonderful RTR curriculum and hearing about your own experiences I am more excited than ever. I know it will be different and will take awhile to figure out our schedule. I am so looking forward to this time that we'll have together. Thank you again to all of you for taking the time to put your reflections in writing for me -- and for your prayers! I am so blessed by you!

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