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Hello all! I just wanted to give a heads up to any adoptive families who are reading The Year of Miss Agnes as we are for Bigger. On page 10 you will find this conversation:

"This is Bertha," I said. "Bertha Nickoli. She's really Bertha John, but Jake and Annie adopted her from her real mother, Sally John, because Sally had too many kids already. Sally lives at Alakaket."
The new teacher looked at Bertha. "I know your real mother," she said.

As a family, we have been careful not to use the terminology "real mother/father" with our children, and the adoptive community would generally agree, since there is nothing "unreal" about adoptive parents. Instead, we use "birthmother" or "first mother" or "mother who birthed you," as all of these are accurate. I admit to being a bit taken aback when I came across "real mother" in the book, but my daughter is old enough for a good discussion about the topic at this point. We had a good talk about it and I am not unhappy that we did, but it was definitely not what I was expecting this morning as we sat down to do DITHOR! Granted, some of the best discussions are unplanned, but it is sometimes nice to know that something like this is coming before it sneaks up on you. I thought I'd share in case there are any other adoptive families getting ready to read this book. (Many adoptive families I know would be highly offended at this terminology, but I realize that my daughters are going to encounter it at some point, and we need to address it with them so they will be prepared.)

Blessings,
Erica

Erica,

I can see where this was a good opportunity for a discussion with your children about this type of terminology. It sounds like you took an opportune moment and did a wonderful job of discussing something that will definitely come up in most kiddos' lives at some point in time (and is especially meaningful to your family). As a parent, I find that there are many such unplanned moments that I must seize with my kiddos to talk about something that is personal for our family and important to me. I am always glad later for those discussions, as they prepare my kiddos in how to respond if they encounter a similar situation later.

While we do try to minimize things that take you unaware with HOD, there will still be things in the curriculum that you will want to discuss with your children or omit. Every family is different, and this is why it is so good that books like these are scheduled as read-alouds for you to preview as you read so you can choose what to say.

The Year of Miss Agnes is definitely set in a rough town in Alaska, back in time before words were chosen with care for speaking about children's families. The children in the story have had little education, and Miss Agnes is definitely a less polished sort of teacher than we'd find in any school system today. The time and setting in which the story takes place is definitely reflected in the way the characters speak and act, as you'll see throughout the story. When you take into consideration the story's rough setting, earlier historical time period, and the lack of education of the characters, the quote you shared above makes a bit more sense in that context. I share this to give just a bit more perspective on the book for our board readers. I know my own boys learned a lot about how privileged they are in their living conditions and education after hearing the Year of Miss Agnes. It is a glimpse into a far different time and place.

Blessings,
Carrie