A heck of a mess we're in....how do I straighten this out?

[alydar]

Our intentions started off really good this past summer. DS8 started Bigger. A few weeks later DD6 started Beyond. Took a week or so to find the right routine but we did finally. But we were also dealing with lots of travel at the time due to my MIL being terminally ill. So that put a glitch in things. She passed away last summer and of course we put off other responsibilities during that time. We did ok up to about Thanksgiving and that seems to be when it all went downhill. DS was having problems with the history part of Bigger and really, it was a constant struggle to get him engaged in any part of school. So I stopped HOD and just did a few FIAR titles (plus math, reading, LA for DS, and copywork or cursive) to get everyone relaxed and chilled out. When starting back I entertained the idea of combining both kids into Beyond a.) to see if that helped DS feel less stressed and perhaps get him more engaged and b.) I was looking ahead to the next step and the idea of doing both Bigger and Preparing at the same time seemed overwhelming. I thought keeping them together for content and then placing each in their own skills level would simplify life.

Then the whole house got "it". Whatever has been going around and keeping people sick for weeks at a time decided to set up camp in my house. That was pretty much the whole month of December and we didn't get any school done. So here we are in January. To ease back into to school life I did a couple more FIAR books plus their math, reading, LA for DS, and copywork or cursive. And we've plugged on along with the storytime books (1 from Beyond and 1 from Bigger) we had started a few months ago but haven't done the activities associated with them.

So I'm wondering what I should do here.

a.) Combine both into Beyond and beef up where I can for DS since he's been-there-done-that and then move both into Bigger (ds will just repeat the first 9 units and then all will be fresh and new)? My fear about combining is that once we hit Bigger DD may have to go 1/2 speed and the idea of one full speed and one 1/2 speed in the same guide seems more complicated than two guides.

b.) Keep each child in their own program, work til they are completed, and just work out the Bigger and Preparing thing when it happens?

I'm hoping the rest of this new year isn't nearly as crazy as the last bit of last year was. And I'm hoping we can find our groove again. thanks

Just editing to add: Both kids place solidly in their respective guides. It's just seems DS was stressed about the work in Bigger and therefore wasn't gaining anything from it. But he does have the ability to do the work.

[mom23]

How far are you into Beyond, and does your youngest handle that workload and the required skills without modification? I would think that if your dd is fine in Beyond that she'll be prepared to handle Bigger alright. The guides really prepare for the next one very well and they can gain a lot of skills in a couple months' time. If you've got a good chunk of it left and your ds is working well at that level I think you'd be fine to keep them combined. However, if you're late into Beyond (like only 4 or 5 weeks left) and are able to tell that she's not ready to go into Bigger you might be best served to keep them seperate. If you decide to do that-consider half speed with one or both children for a while to ease you back in. If you're able to bump your DS up to full speed with Bigger, that's going to build you some distance between your two guides for the future (Bigger/Preparing). In fact, an entire year of Bigger at half speed and Preparing at full might be doable, and then you could finish out the last half of the Bigger guide with your dd at full speed so that she was prepared for Preparing .

Another consideration-the personality of your children. Does your ds work better with a challenge or when there's plenty of easily handled material? I have one child who needs the challenge. She was placed in a guide below her actual placement for a while, and it was disaster! She quit trying to do anything, felt bored and completely unmotivated, we started seeing more than the normal behavior and attitude issues. We decided to skip a large portion of a guide and bump her up to her proper placement and it made all the difference in the world! Her younger brother is completely opposite. He is really easily discouraged if things are too challenging to him. When there is a lot of easy material it builds up his confidence and he's able to work on something else that may not come easily to him right away. Do your children work well together or do they work better if they have their own special thing and can work at their own pace without someone else doing the same thing?

*ETA- Don't be too hard on yourself. You've had a lot going on!! Sometimes God brings along those seasons of life when our kids will have opportunity to learn things that can't be taught in a book. The season for book time will roll around again and they will be fine! Have some grace as you get started again, it may take a while to get your feet back under you, but things will get easier.

[Tansy]

I've had years that look like this, it's so hard but don't beat your self up Life Happens.
When I took a deep breath and asked God to order my steps things started falling into place.
Be encouraged you are still doing something even to its not as much as you wanted. You will find a solution

[momtofive]

I'm very sorry for your loss! It can be so tough to lose a loved one.

We've gone through our rough patches, too, where it seems like everything is going wrong. It's not wrong to just stop and try to regroup sometimes. My thoughts would be, to bump both kids down to half speed to give you the slower schedule that you need right now, and then just add in more as you think they're ready. As time goes on, you'll get a feel for whether or not it would be better to combine or not. Seeing how you mentioned that they each fit squarely in their guides, I'd give it a little more time before I made any changes. Maybe just taking a little more time and committing this to prayer will help give you clarity and peace about what to do.

Just a few thoughts. Hope things start looking up again, soon!

[julsoliveira]

I'm going to tell you a secret...Today is January 18, 2013. We technically started our school year in June 2012. As of today, we just finished Unit 7 of PHFHG, and Unit 5 of Bigger. UNIT 5!! We had quite a few summer/fall setbacks ourselves, but I knew that once the weather went south, we'd be stuck inside and get caught up. My plan is to school through the summer. I can't complain. Somethings we did to ourselves, and others were out of our control. But i'm of the mindset that once you start something, you see it through to completion. So, here we are. Now, to be fair, we are on track with Math and reading because we kept that up. We just weren't getting our language arts,history, and science done. And even worse, when we're in a crunch, we skip the bible study But there are days when a win= clean underwear and dishes, so we are pulling together and getting our bums in gear to finish strong

I agree with going half speed for a bit. It makes it possible to get back into the groove of thing and work out the bumps, while being able to put your foot down about school time, on your terms. I hope you're able to find a routine that works well for everyone

[laurapella]

I think going 1/2 speed would definitely help you get into the groove. We are doing Preparing this year with my DS10 and Bigger at 1/2 speed with my DS7. It is definitely doable with one at 1/2 speed. My plan is to let my DS7 do Bigger at 1/2 speed this entire year and then work up to full speed next year so that he is almost in 4th grade by the time we get to Preparing. If your kids are both well placed, and you had a groove going earlier, I don't think your dc would be best served by combining. However, sometimes the best is what you can manage to actually get done. Do not give up!!! Just keep doing what you can, when you can.

[Carrie]

alydar,

I'm so sorry for your loss and for the stress you've been under with the sickness going round. I had to smile, because we had "it" too (ours being the influenza that has lasted a month as well for the 6 of us), so I can understand that part of what you're sharing.

In pondering where your children are, I am wondering how far into Beyond you are right now? Like Mom23 mentioned that will make a big difference in our advice. So, if you get a chance to pop back and share what unit you're on for Beyond that would be great.

On a sidenote, since both your 6 and 8 year old fall into the age range of Beyond, it is possible that you could combine them in Beyond (and borrow the right side of Bigger for your 8 year old, since you already own that guide). If your 6 year old is doing alright in Beyond, then she would likely move well into Bigger and they could just keep on going as a pair. Also, since your oldest son had a bit of a tough start in Bigger (possibly due to circumstances at the time as much as anything), it wouldn't hurt to combine him in Beyond with his younger sibling to build his confidence back up. Much depends on how he would perceive that kind of a move and on how well the two would work together. What are your thoughts?

Blessings,
Carrie

[alydar]

Thank you all for the encouragement and the support! I just love this group of wonderful ladies!!

Carrie - We left off on Unit 6 Day 3 in Beyond with DD and in Bigger we stopped in Unit 9. When I did combine them for a very, very brief bit of time back in the fall DS seemed almost relieved. I'm not sure if it was due to the lessened course load or because he was familier with it and therefore thought it wouldn't be as hard the 2nd time around. As far as them working together I have mixed feelings. They are highly competitive with each other and feelings get hurt easily when one "out shines" or gets the answer in first before the other. And then I think it might be good for them to learn how to function in such situations, too. Life isn't always going to be your cup o' tea and they need to know how to deal with it. And yet they always want in on what the other is doing. So I'm torn about that aspect.

I'd be glad to offer any more information that would be helpful. You all are always so helpful to me!

[Carrie]

Whitney,

I think in all honesty from what you've shared so far, I would give combining your two in Beyond a try. I would just start where you left off and have both kiddos work together to do the left side of the Beyond guide each day and the Beyond Storytime. For your older child, I would continue on from the point where you were on Bigger's right side for the 3R's (with the exception of Storytime) and move forward with either spelling/dictation from Bigger, Cheerful Cursive or Italic D, English 2 from Bigger, whatever math you are using with your older child, and DITHR 2/3 or the Emerging Reader's Set.

As far as the science goes in Bigger, you could either combine your oldest with your 6 year old and do Beyond's science with both, or you could continue having your older child do the science in Bigger (separately from his sister while she does Beyond's science) to give them one more thing that is separate.

I think this would be a good plan to maximize materials you already own, meet both of your kiddos' needs, take a bit of stress off of your son, and possibly get you feeling more like you can handle your day-to-day without fearing what is to come workload-wise. I'd work to try this scenario for at least 9 weeks to see what you think and to keep you from wondering daily whether you should make a switch to uncombining. It would also give you a real look at working out any snags. I wouldn't share with the kiddos that you're just trying this to see how it goes, or they may continually be asserting their opinions daily too (making you wonder what truly is best). Instead, just get underway sharing that this is the new plan. In your mind know that you will evaluate again after 9 weeks. With your oldest only being 8, you have some wiggle room to try combining. If it works, it could truly be a wonderful thing for years to come!

Blessings,
Carrie

[alydar]

Carrie,

It is so very helpful to have another's opinion of a situation when the whole thing has become nothing but a blur and a can't-see-the-forest-for-the-trees issue for me. It's difficult at times when you're so close to the problem you can't find your way out. That's what things have felt like for a while.

I can really see how your suggestion could work. Combining would lessen the number of tasks to be completed each day by me (less stress ), perhaps boost DS's confidence (he struggles so much with narration and discussion), and help both of them learn to work as a "group". And it's one less guide to be running. DS3 right now is just a school-when-the-mood-hits fellow but soon he and I will be starting a more purposeful approach to school with LHTH as he nears 4 yo. So that's possible another positive to this choice.

DS8 does so well with all the skills areas in Bigger though. Grammer (r&s 2), dictation, and math (cle) are great. His actual reading ability is wonderful - DITHOR is a bit more of a challenge for him as he finds it difficult to "dig" into the material to answer the questions or do the student book. However, he HATES the physical act of writing so when he has to copy a verse, do vocab. words, or write for science or history I hear the moaning and complaining start and I get shoddy work. He's an excellent sketcher and at the beginning of Bigger I was getting some nice notebooking pages but closer to when we stopped his efforts weren't quite as good and he did just enough to say he did it. Now that I type all this out I'm wondering if I'm dealing with a course load problem or a heart issue. And the other big issue we were having was his ability to narrate. I understand that this is a skill that takes years of practice and you have mentored me before on this. I was getting in between him and the material by trying to help him understand it better. But honestly, he offers nothing in the way of narration. When I did the follow-up activites I might as well have been asking the chair to provide the narration or answers. That's about what I got from him.

Perhaps another idea for us might be to go 1/2 speed in Bigger? Maybe by splitting it up we could take a bit more time with the more difficult areas? Keep on with skills everyday of course. Maybe? I'd love your thoughts on this idea, too.

[Carrie]

Whitney,

Thanks so much for sharing a bit more about your oldest son. That really helps make things quite a bit clearer. From what you've shared, I would really lean toward combining your two kiddos in the areas of Beyond which I mentioned in my previous post. The reason for this is that it sounds like your son could use some extra time to grow into the writing and narrating skills required in Bigger on up. Otherwise, if you continued on with full-speed Bigger you may find yourself modifying the writing or find your son is rushing to get through the required writing or producing fairly sub-par work in the notebooking for history and science.

While half-speed Bigger is definitely a possibility, as you look at your kiddos long-term, doing half-speed with your oldest son (while your daughter does full-speed Beyond) would actually mean that over time they will get ever closer together, so at that point it makes more sense to just combine them for the long haul (since they'd actually end up less than half of a guide apart or even closer over time).

Another benefit of combining the pair in Beyond for the left side and storytime is that you will have more time to devote to working on the writing/reading skills in DITHR and the other 3 R's with your son. This will be important as you move forward with your son. Giving him more time to grow into the skills of narrating and writing will be good too. Last, I think that being with his sister may prod him to give better narrations and work a bit harder. Often a little one coming up on an older one can have that effect!

When narrating with a pair of children, you may wish to put two different colored legos or beads in your pocket and assign a color to each child. Then, whichever color lego/bead gets pulled out... that child narrates. This is a technique CM used, and it works well (as the kiddos never know who might be called upon to narrate). Also, CM allowed students to add at the very end of the narration session a few additional narration sentences of their own if desired (even the narrating child was allowed to add more later to his/her own narration as the other kiddos shared).

As far as the science goes, I would probably lean toward keeping your son doing the science from Bigger, if you want him to keep going with notebooking and higher level science skills. Then, you would just borrow the science from the next guide every year after that.

Blessings,
Carrie

[my3sons]

Alydar - we got a "bit" of "it" here too! But, not the whole "it" like many of you have gotten! So sorry to hear that - "it" is nasty. I am praying for good health for you and your family in the days and months ahead. I just wanted to say after reading through all of this, I think Carrie summed it up very nicely in her last post, and I agree with it whole-heartedly. I think that would be a very good plan for both dc, and I also think you would enjoy it (the plan, that is ) very much too! HTH!

In Christ,
Julie

[alydar]

Thank you Julie!

Well, after reading and re-reading and re-reading and thinking about what you all have said I think we're going to go the combined route. I think both kids will do well in Beyond and I've found ways to beef it up a bit for DS and throw in an extra here or there to make it feel a little different the 2nd time around. And that should give him a little growing room so he can tackle Bigger's content when we get to it.

I really appreciate everyone who took the time to read and consider our situation and offer thoughts and advice. My heartfelt thanks to you all!

[alydar]

Well, there may be a slight change in plans....

I had a good talk with DS today about where we are at in school and that we need to get back to our normal routine. I asked how he felt about going back into Beyond. He said he did not want to do Beyond again and that he liked doing "his school" better (translation = Bigger). I gently reminded him of the increased work but he said he didn't mind since I've made adjustments anyway to the amount of writing he does i.e. he does R&S all orally, we do 50/50 written/oral for DITHOR, and he's never complained about writing dictation - go figure! But I would require him to write his vocab, bible verse, and science. He agreed. So I'm willing to give it a fair chance for a few weeks to see how he does. Maybe this break has allowed enough growing time for him to feel more comfortable with the guide. We shall see.