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I don't know if this is o.k. to put on this board so go ahead and take it off, Carrie, if it is not.

I would like to know what you homeschooling moms out there do for your down time, not including time with the Lord. How much time do you take and how often do you do something just for you?

I wake up earlier than the kids and get my work out in, get showered and dressed, eat breakfast and do devotions with my husband before he leaves for work and then I play around on the computer until my kids come down the stairs usually by 7:15 or so. I usually get a little me time when my 2 boys nap from 1-3 PM. While they nap I do LHTH with my 2 girls and then usually send them out to play. I usually have my 2nd cup of coffee and play around on my phone or read the Bible while I watch them. Once my kids go to bed for the night (around 8 or 8:30) I take 30 mins in a bubble bath while my husband plays a game on his Xbox. We then get back together and make "us time" a priority which involves us reading 4 or 5 chapters in the Bible together, playing cards, board games, talking ,ect. I find that if I desperately need extra alone time I speak with my husband about it (though he can usually tell when I'm at the end of my rope LOL) and he takes over with the kids for a while so I can go in our room and just relax or sometimes cleaning is relaxing for me and being able to do it in peace is wonderful LOL. My husband and I never get dates or get to do anything together alone so I actually find I crave "us time" more than "me time" now days

In the morning before breakfast I make sure I have a chance to drink a cup of coffee with no kids with me. If they are awake, they go upstairs. They either watch tv or do whatever... basically I really don't care

Sometime after lunch I go take a bath. I either have a book to read or I play games on the ipod.

In general I get about an hour a day of JUST ME TIME. We also get the kids to bed early so that we can have time without kids, but dh is also there so it's not completely ME time. I also do random chores before morning at that time, like laundry or wiping down counters or loading the dishwasher. But that only takes about 15 minutes out of a couple of hours.

My ME TIME doesn't involve chores, except maybe putting up laundry while my bath water is running.

Oh, and I cannot reliably wake up before kids do... so that is out at this point in time. And occasionally, about once a month, dh takes the older kids away and lets me have some time with no one in the house (except a sleeping Penelope)

I hope you get some good answers here, Sara.
I get zero time for myself and I pay for it dearly. If there is any way you can work in what you need, do it. Hopefully you'll get a lot of good ideas and sorry I'm not much help!!

If I wake before the girls, they will wake early. However, this week I've been able to get up an hour or so before them. I'll get myself ready, enjoy a light breakfast with some tea/coffee/hot apple cider, and either get in whatever research I need or read my Bible. I am enjoying the Bible, going through it chronologically this year, and have been making an effort to have that come first. We also start school a little later in the morning (one dd has a sleep disorder so I let her sleep 'til she naturally wakes). If I can get the girls doing their piano while one or another is eating breakfast, I can also take that time for either Bible reading or that computer research.

I knit.like.no.one's.business. That prolly says enough. That is my ME time. When we are done with school, and I have nothing pressing, I'll work on a knitting project. Or, after dinner when it's down time/after the kids are in bed, I'll knit. I listen to t.v. I rarely watch it. I have a spinning wheel and spin yarn, and am getting more into prepping the wool myself (starting with the stinky fleece right off the sheep's back!). Spinning/wool prep is a rare treat that I have to work to find the time for, but it's there when I can take advantage of it. Right now 99% of our Christmas gifts are all homemade. The majority (use to be all) of my knits, and for the last two years I was able to pull dh into it and he did projects with the girls in his woodshop. What I'd love to do is have all my gift gifts to be from fleece I've prepped, dyed, spun into yarn and knit. All our family sweaters and slippers and socks, too. So, yeah, I have a productive obsession going on here. The majority of my things are for gifts, not for me (I rarely knit for myself but am trying to remedy that). Even so, I benefit from the knit therapy. That's worth it's weight in gold. What is soooooooooo cool though is that when we read about all the "homespun" clothing, they know exactly what it is and how it's made! One day, that will be us making all that!

I also try to make time to meet a friend every so often. I use to meet a friend at Panera for breakfast on Saturday about 2x month. Or if a friend couldn't come to atleast get myself and dh a take out breakfast from there. I no longer do that, and miss it. Perhaps once a month I am able to meet a friend for a tea. I can't have gluten or sulphur-sulphites, so that limits things and sorta takes away the 'hunger' for this type of activity.

The girls also have a weekly gym class for 2 hours. I could take them 3x week, but once a week is what works. During that time I will run to a store, or go grab a coffee, or a few other moms and I will hit the library and chat. Even if us moms decide to stay on the bench at the noisy gym, we get to chat and read while our kids are busy being entertained and exercised by someone else.

I consider during their piano lessons or art class to be a me time as well. I am dropping them off at art and have an hour to do what I want. Most times I like to sit in the car and read. Sometimes I will hit a health food or grocery store. Piano lessons are 1 1/2 hours total, and I read or knit. The girls are swapping out every 1/2 hour so they are around, but still it's a downtime I can take without guilt or pressure. That equals ME time in my mind.

Having the extracurricular classes for the girls has allowed me more time to myself. I take it as that anyway. By doing stuff during these outside class times, it does take away the craving to do things while at home. I've been using that time to teach the girls more crafting, or get the house in better shape.

I should add that dh is an avid woodworker. He doesn't have time to do as much as he use to, but he's finding his way back into that. Since we're both crafty, we understand the need one another has for that 'me' time and try to make sure one another gets it. We try to work in more 'us' time as well. If 'us' isn't happy, 'me' isn't happy either.

It works differently for every family - but here is ours.

First I make sure I get up before them, it's worth it even if I am tired.
I make all my children have a rest time in the afternoon, & I try to rest as well. Normally I am tired and they are not.
However they are trained to stay in their room, and we are working on staying in their bed - even though they do not have to sleep.

Next, two evenings a week my husband takes the children for 'Daddy Time' (an hour or two), leaving me with 'Mommy Time'.
We've worked out that 1 night would be cleaning projects, etc. and the other night doing what I want, even leaving the house most of the time.

Last, but not least, we have a date night once or twice a month. Occasionally we go out, but more often it's put the children to bed 1/2 hour early and spending that
half hour just the two of us.

These things all help me out, and I can tell a difference if I have that time, or if I don't. By doing this I am a better wife & mother.

It this gives you any ideas - great! If not, no big deal.

For this year, I have decided to take a Wednesday night sabbatical. For the last nine years I have either helped in Awana, or done nursery for the Awana workers - every. single. Wednesday. This year I'm taking Wednesday evenings for just me and God. I has been wonderful. DH takes the four girls to church, and I have the house to myself. I choose a Bible study to do for myself, so I sit, have hot chocolate, play some soft instrumental worship music and do my study. I don't know how it will work next year, but this has been great for me after a very difficult year last year.

Also, I get up at 5:15 every morning to travel to a friend's home who has circuit training equipment in her basement. We do our workout together and chat, then I come home and run on the treadmill five days a week. This is new since October because my goal for this year is to lose some weight. It isn't ideal because there are some nights I don't get myself to bed on time and am VERY tired. But it is what it is and it's the only time I have available.

Blessings.

Another spin on this is doing things that you have been neglecting for yourself. That is where I started. By this I mean health and self-improvement things. Are there doctor appointments you haven't scheduled for yourself that you are overdue for? Are there things that you need and haven't been buying?

For me it was doing a diet to lose the weight I'd packed on 2 years prior, and couldn't shake no matter what. I had some issues, that once I lost the weight, manifested themselves more and brought out other issues. Our Osteopath diagnosed/treated me for "Adrenal Fatique." Fixing this was a life saver for me. Then it was doing all the dr. appts for me that I've let slide. Going to dentist, general OB, etc. The next year I went for a new hearing aid (mine had died 12 years prior). Then, last year, I got new glasses. I also got a new woman's specialist dr who is more inline with the natural approach to health that we like to take. Oh, and snow boots! I lived in Michigan for over 17 years before I bought myself some snow boots! What was I thinking! As a family, we also see a chiro every two weeks. I have had chronic back issues for 4+ years, that are just in the last year getting under control.

All of these things I had let slide for myself way too long. Knowing I was taking care of myself filled that part of my tank that was needing refueling.

I love this thread; thanks for starting it and for all these great ideas!

My girls are 7, 5, and 3. My youngest still NEEDS to nap, but I have found it beneficial for my older two to have "quiet time" at the same time as my youngest...beneficial for both my girls and myself! For 1 1/2 - 2 hours and honestly, I just try to relax. I may have something urgent that needs done, but I have a cup of tea, study my Bible, read a book, scrapbook. My husband encouraged this because he knows how stressful life can be. I also try to keep perspective. I'm currently reading a book called The Mission of Motherhood. It is really helping me find perspective on those days when I'm feeling overwhelmed and frustrated.

I run. And as long as I can stay decently in shape, they can't catch me. Seriously, my exercise time is my chance to mentally recharge. Depending on the season, I am able to break free in the morning before school (like if it's light out and over 30* by 6:30), otherwise I wait until the little boys are napping mid-afternoon. My 4 miles down our dirt road is the BEST! When it's too muddy or cold, I'll exercise inside, but doing a workout video while jumping over 5 kids and warning them that the will get kicked if they get too close just isn't the same!

We're having a trying year here with my husband's health issues, and getting any time to myself besides my run is not happening. I'll have to look for some ideas here as I look to the future. I know that I am running on empty this year and fully relying on God's strength as we move from day to day. But, I know that for the long term, it's important for us mom's to not burn ourselves out. That doesn't do anyone any favors! I'm so thankful that His strength is made perfect in our weakness!!

Kathleen

I have managed to train my children to eat breakfast by themselves, this gives me an hour and a half to read, pray, check in Facebook, clear any emails in the mornings. Being fully awake before I enter into the whole school thing is goooood...

We start school at 9am. I have decreed my schooling hours are from 9-12
12 is lunch which I prepare while the kids finish up anything they are working on.
1pm -1:30 is recess so "ME Time!" I get to check FB/emails and play around on my computer, plan a blog post, or call my mom.
1:30- 2 I do a final check on school, clear up dictation etc. Typically Little Miss Sunshine is done with school and she goes off and reads plays by herself or has a play date she can walk to.
From 2-4 I'm "available to Help" I might be doing house hold chores or Hobbying as I keep an eye on Sweet Potato taking her own sweet time with school.
3 days a week between 2-4 is when I go walking 1-3 miles depending on my energy level.
From 4-5 I'm doing dinner prep and I'm no longer "available"
From 5-6 its either a Mad rush to finish dinner, or a tying up Sweet Potato's loose ends.
We eat Dinner as a family most evenings We have many ministry meetings in the evenings. So each night is different.
But when I can from 7-9 My hubby lets me off of kid duty and I have free time once my chores are done.
from 9-11 I may have the evening to myself if Hubby has a huge work load or we may spend it together talking and doing married couple things.
Often I suffer from Insomnia so 11-2am is also "me time" I surf the web, blog, pray or read novels I know the ending of so I drop off to sleep.

oh and Thursdays I spend at the ministry in the mornings so none of this applys to Thursdays Thursdays are crazy!

I read a parenting book called Love is Not Enough (written for adoptive parents at their wits end).
it had an illustration like this one
http://sliceofmidlife.files.wordpress.c ... azzled.jpg
The caption read "Do you want to be parented by a parent that looks like this?"
Since I looked like that I took her advice. I pulled my kids out of "stuff" Girl Scouts, Gymnastics and Ballet. Started saying no to play dates that interrupted the flow of school. Decided not to join the co-op and retrenched myself. I lowered my expectations for me and simplified my life. Focused on my special kiddo and found JOY!

Man I see a blog post right here LOL! In so doing I now have TIME more time than ever before, and time is such a precious commodity.

I am really glad I started this post! Thank you for all the insights.

Just a week and half ago I unloaded a bunch of life-killers for me. On top of homeschooling my four children I was also working at our church 10+ hours a week as the secretary, in charge of and teaching Sunday School, getting communion and the candles ready for church service each week, helping with confirmation, and the do anything else that isn't getting done lady! Whose fault was it...mine! I love the Lord so deeply that I want to help others in their walk, especially children. I am also a perfectionist and when something isn't getting done I step in to do it like I am some kind of super hero (in my own mind). Actually, I don't think nearly that highly of myself, not even close. So, after talking to dh I quit my job as secretary and am no longer helping with confirmation. I may step down as Sunday School leader as well.

This past week all I have been doing for myself is sleeping. Catching up on the z's missing from my alphabet. I feel more relaxed but also a little lost with all the extra free time. Eventually I am going to do some exercising and scrapbooking but I need some time to pray and rest in the Lord's grace.

In this season of our lives we are major givers of ourselves. We are taking the time to raise our children. Despite what the world says, this is a hard job and God wants parents to do this not the schools or the village. BUT...we also need to take care of ourselves and fill OUR TANKS with a little me time so that we can fill up our family's tank with all the love and affection that they need. I posed the original post because I needed to remind myself this very thing.

Okay, honesty time - I struggled with the You Time for a couple of years and after reading an article I came to the conclusion that I was making a bit of an idol of "Me Time" in that I wanted a Calgon moment. (Calgon, take me away... kwim?) and I was looking at all of the work before me (school, home, kids, etc.) as infringements on "My Time." I was being horrible. I read this article in 2008 and it changed my perspective. I bookmarked it so I could reread it from time to time as a reminder.
http://www.thehomeschoolmagazine-digita ... b4ug7#pg35

I don't know where I got the idea that I deserved this chunk of time. Chunk is the key word. Instead of relishing the 10 minutes I have here and there to check an hs board, facebook, have some tea, etc., I would be resentful that it was ONLY 10 minutes. When I turned my thinking around and found myself to be THANKFUL for those 10 minutes, I found a lot more little snippets of "me time" to be found in my day. My interruptions (kids) were no longer interrupting my time, they were allowing me to have some when they were in their rooms or outside or playing happily together for a few minutes. So I think perspective is key, and good management of time is another.

That said, I now also run. I get 3-4 miles in 5 days a week. That gives me 30-40 minutes. It gives me exercise and mental time to think through my day and obligations and to pray - I love talking to God while running. HOWEVER, my two oldest kids (12 and 14) now want to run with me! So a couple times a week I have company and I am once again on the clock, but I love it.

So yes, we need to have some time to get our heads cleared, have some down time, and take care of ourselves. But, we must not fall into a false thinking that that time should be some large chunk. We need to embrace the small windows of blessing we get as well and use them profitably instead of resentful that it isn't more.

arstephia-I couldn't have said it better myself!! Years ago it was an idol in my life for sure. Over the last 6 years or so the Lord showed me just what you said.

Unfortunately now, I've hit a personal snag where I could use some "extra" help with my kids, as opposed to the small bits of time that I normally enjoy. But, when I get through everything that is going on right now, i won't *feel* as needy as I am right now.
Thank you for making this point!!