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Need help with imagery writing from unit 8 , day 2.

My son wrote this, it looks nice, but it is not really imagery I'm having such a hard time to come up with metaphors , first because englishis my third language, then I am a right brainer

How can I advice him? Should I make him rewrite this section?

I am not sure how to post an image here,so I will link the pic
http://pinterest.com/pin/560768591071386935/

It might not be imagery exactly but I think he did a wonderful job painting a picture. I can't say that I recall what the assignment was. If was just to have the reader imagine the scene, I think he did a great job. If he was supposed to use similes and metaphors then perhaps it needs a bit more but is a great start.

It was a poem by Stevenson, Looking glass river. He had to write a paragraph using imagery about the desert. Instead, he wrote the way a public school assignment would be,such as "you are in a desert, describe what you see" . After he completed the job, we did look up imagery examples online , so now he understands it was not exactly what hewrote , but honestly this would be a very hard task for myself

I have good news - actually, he did a beautiful job of using imagery, and he did exactly what he was supposed to do! According to the plans, "imagery means using words that paint a picture or an image in the reader's mind." The plans suggest students use imagery to describe the desert by using phrases such as blazing sun, scorching heat, sand dunes, cactus country, poisonous fangs and sharp stingers, saguaro cactus giants with sharp spines, chilly night air, and predators stalking their prey.

Your ds did a lovely job of using imagery by painting a picture or an image in the reader's mind by choosing these phrases...
... sun is scorching my head
... hawks are sipping... fruit juice... from a saguaro cactus
... lizard scuttling under a rock
... kingsnake strikes and gobbles up a kangaroo rat
... honeyant scrambling in its hole

I think your ds's writing is wonderful, and not at all scripted sounding such as ps writing can sound! The lesson does not ask him to use metaphors or similes, so he met all of the writing requirements laid out for this lesson. I'd give him a big hug and let him know he did a good job of using imagery in his desert paragraph! Reading it makes ME want to visit his desert - well, all except for the snake and the kangaroo rat bit. Good job ds, and good job to you as the Mom!

In Christ,
Julie