Preparing very iindependent?

[witheagerhands]

Lovely people of HOD!
I am in need of guidance and support. I have 4 children, 5 come late October.
My oldest, DD is 2months shy of 12yo and is placed in Preparing with Extensions and in DITHOR 6/7/8.
DD2 is 8.5yo and in Beyond, and just now starting to read.
DS is a new 6yo and is in LHFHG.
DD3 is a wild a raucous 3yo and on paper is in LHTH.

One consistent word I have read is how valuable working with my Preparing student through the Bible Study and History components is. I *want* to, but I am struggling to the point of consistent failure on getting to everyone -- and we are all behind. This group was tremendous in helping me place my children, and I feel good about where they are....but.....
DD1 in Preparing is where she is mostly because this is our first year in HOD and learning the ropes of how it all goes, and that CTC is so much more intense and independent...something that she is not really for. I am beginning to wonder if it might have been ok, but to work at 1/2 speed (not sure how that works with CTC). At any rate, we are in Preparing now and don't have the financial means to change, but that is neither here nor there. I think it's good for her to get used to the boxes and format and how dictation works and so forth -- but so much of it has that "T". As much as I like the idea of doing the T things with her, does anyone out there let their children do most or all of the Preparing boxes on their own, checking in and such as needed?
I don't want to be a bad parent, but I KNOW she prefers doing the work on her own, and the work is easy enough she can. I am having a hard time letting go and letting her do it alone, in part because I am just a control freak, and also because we don't touch base enough! I feel like I have no idea what she's doing, and then I read about how relationships are enriched and all that and I feel bad....
help!

[netpea]

On busy days, I will let my dd read the history reading and storytime reading by herself. Later I will ask her the questions or do any followup from the boxes. I don't like to do it because then I missed part of the reading but we sometimes are away from home a good deal of the day and then its necessary. She does the history project box with little guidance from me. I have to supervise any written work as she hates to write and will sometimes try to do the minimum instead of doing her best.

When my son was homeschooled, he often did his grammar lesson on his own and I checked his work.

You know your child and what she is capable of but perhaps you could employ a technique I've hear others on here do. You have a meeting with her first in the morning and go over the work, do the teacher parts of math and grammar, go over the poetry and give direction for the parts you want her to work alone on. Then you meet up with her later to go over her work and ask the followup questions.

[my3sons]

Netpea had some really great ideas! We have to keep in mind that dd is 12 yo, and I think that upping the independence in PHFHG is a very good, age appropriate thing to do as she is able. PHFHG is an excellent guide, and if she placed there at the start, then that was where she was well placed to begin, and I think that was and still is a good placement. However, it sounds like dd has made some good progress and is ready for more independence. I would give it to her with no guilt on your part.

Let's look at the "T" boxes in PHFHG and how they can be made more independent for dd, as well as what you can do for your "meeting time" to enjoy interacting with her, doing follow-ups, and checking her work/progress...

Reading about History: She can read it herself. This is very age appropriate. Charlotte Mason advocated having 9-10 yo dc read their own books as this deepens their comprehension and retention. Meeting time: You skim and read key idea to know what it was about and do follow-ups in box. Days 1 and 2 - ask follow-up questions, Day 3 - hear oral narration, Day 4 - help her do written narration

Storytime: She can read it herself, or have her read half the assigned pages and come to you to read the last half of the pages to her. Meeting time: Do discussion questions in box.

Bible Study: She can find the verse, highlight it, study it, sing it along with the CD, prepare for the discussion with you by looking over the questions, and copy the verse in her Common Place Book independently. Meeting time: Daily have her recite her verse(s), Days 1 and 2 - ask discussion questions, Day 4 - check her Common Place Book copywork.

Poetry: Do all in Meeting Time. Keep "teacher-directed."

Now let's look at the "S" semi-independent boxes...
History Project: Have her read the directions and see if she has any questions. Help get out supplies if she needs that assistance. Let her do the rest independently. Check project in Meeting Time.

Rotating History box:
Research - Go over rules for Internet use and be near her (as in the same room) as she researches, but let her do this fairly independently, provided you've taught her how to skim, click, stay on suggested page/cite, etc. Meeting Time: Ask her the research questions.
Vocabulary - Do your part of helping her find in text, read sentence each word is in, and guess at each word's meaning. Finish the rest independently. Check cards in Meeting Time.
Geography - Have her do all she can on her own. Meeting Time: ask questions, have her point to locations mentioned.
Timeline - She can do this independently. Have her show you cards in Meeting TIme.

Language Arts box:
Dictation - study on own. You do rest with her.
DITHOR - read pages on own and do only teacher-directed parts of plans with her in Meeting Time.
R & S English - she can read it on her own as you do. I'd sit by her side as she does this to help her out as this cuts down on coming back to help and reteach or fix things later, but you can have her do 2/3 of it orally, and 1/3 on markerboard.

Math:
I'd teach the lesson and stay near for independent part for same reasons as mentioned for grammar.

I'd plan 1 or 2 meeting times in your day, and have this be the only block(s) of time devoted to working alongside dd. This is very age appropriate, and with the above meeting time activities, you will have a very good handle on every aspect of her work.

Your first Meeting Time could look something like this...
Dictation, R & S English, Math, Poetry

Then, she could have an independent block of work time.

Your second Meeting Time could look something like this...
Your parts for Bible Study, Reading about History, Rotating box, Storytime, and DITHOR. Give intro to History Project.

Then, she could have a second independent block of work time for History Project and anything left, probably DITHOR and possibly Rotating History box. Those are just some ideas to consider, but I do think it is absolutely just fine for 12 yo dd to take on more independence now, and in fact it is more than just fine - it is a GREAT idea the two of you will both love! I also think the meeting time will streamline your work with her and minimize interruptions so she has some real time to work successfully independently, as well as some appropriate time for interaction/teaching/follow-ups with you. We clip along with our meeting times at our house, but we enjoy it as we do. HTH!

In Christ,
Julie

[deltagal]

So many good thoughts in this thread. Something that has helped me immensely with my 3rd child (11 yo) in Preparing is that I've trained him to recognize that the "T" means we need to talk or spend some sort of de-briefing time together on the box. He does the work, if he can, independently, but then waits until we have some time together on it before he checks it off as finished. In his case he has a master list of his work to do and he (by his design) crosses it out half-way with a hi-lighter until we have met on it. The only boxes that he tends to completely wait for me on are Storytime, Bible and Grammar and when he has a writing assignment in Poetry and History. However, on REALLY tight days - if I give him permission - he will go ahead and complete those, as well.

[MomtoJGJE]

My DD in Preparing is just 9, but she retains the info so much better when she reads it herself. So I have absolutely no issues having her read her history herself. I give her the choice over the storytime, and quite frankly sometimes we just don't get to that.... well, at least in the day that it's scheduled. Sometimes we spend a good portion of a Saturday or if she needs a rest time during the day catching up on storytime Sometimes I read it at night, but I prefer to not do that since I have 4 more coming up after her.

Anyway, (I was interrupted for a while in the middle of that paragraph ) basically, I have made Preparing where it can be either teacher or independent. If we are running behind I'll do it as T (because it takes me about half the time to read it) but if it's a normal day, then we both prefer for her to read her history and me to follow up with the questions. I'll also read the key ideas to her so that it's a boost to what she read and remembers.

[witheagerhands]

Ladies, if you were here I would hug you all! I really, truly want HOD to work for us, but I am literally out of breath at the thought of running so many guides (I do believe my children are where they need to be), and not being able, in my own flesh, to let go and let them work on their own. This sin of control has such a hold on me, which is NOT helpful at the tail end of a fifth pregnancy. Having folks here who have walked this path, who are real and will speak honestly about what can be done, even if it means --GASP!-- not doing *exactly* what the books says means so much. I am the one who feels like every workbook page needs to be done, to get money's worth (sigh) or if it's there, we just have to do it!!! I know that Carrie doesn't intend for us to be slaves to the guides, but I "just want to do it right!"
I need to re-read this thread and just sit with it, considering everything you ladies have shared and honestly, just take it to prayer (which I should have done a while ago, amen?)
HTank you ladies!
Sally

[Carrie]

Sally,

What terrific advice you've received from these wise ladies. Certainly with the age of your child in mind, you can and should move your child toward as much independence as possible with Preparing, while still keeping your finger on the pulse of what the child is doing each day. I agree with Charlotte Mason's wise assessment that a child the age of 9 on up who can read his/her own material should. So, this would mean that your child can read any of the material in Preparing Hearts that she can handle.

This shift for a desire for more maturity comes as our child grow. They actually prefer to do their work more on their own, which is a part of growing up. Taking responsibility for one's own education should definitely be encouraged! The ideas mentioned of how to check up on your child work well.

I agree that it is wise to have your child do as much of each box as she can, even reading through discussion questions and thinking how she will answer them ahead of time or finding everything on the globe ahead of time, so she is prepared to share with you.

A second alternative would be to return as much of Preparing as you have unused and purchase CTC if you feel that would be a better fit overall. This is also a possibility, however it's important to remember that your child will likely need some training in CTC and need a slower start. If you'd plan to be at half-speed CTC for much of the year to make it work for her, then it would actually be more rigorous to do Preparing at full-speed. So, this is something to weigh.

One other thought I had is that it may be possible to either combine your next two in line in one guide (either LHFHG or Beyond), or if you feel they are well-placed to drop the LHFHG child to half-speed for this year. That can be as easy as doing the left side of LHFHG one day and the right side of LHFHG the next. This would drop your daily time with LHFHG to 45 min. instead of 90 min., leaving you an additional 45 min. each day to work with your older kiddos. Then, the following year, you could bump your LHFHG child up to full-speed, when your CTC child will be more independent.

Blessings,
Carrie