LHFHG for gifted 1st grader...not enough?

[amysue277]

Hi all,
I thought I would get opinions on if you all think LHFHG is meaty enough for a 1st grader who seems to be gifted. Putting him in Beyond is not an option (other than him doing the right side) as I NEED to combine my kids if I have any hope in continuing to homeschool.

I must admit, I am very overwhelmed at the moment homeschooling my K and pre-K, and we are only doing the right side of LHFHG with some supplementing. I am pregnant with number 5, due in March which makes 5 kids age six and under. I think I can probably only handle doing LHFHG, but worry that it will not be enough for him. I used to be a public school teacher and just can't shake the feeling that I should be doing more. And yet, I will not have the time or energy to do too much more! I feel confused and defeated in this journey.

Hence, I'm strongly considering public school. Any thoughts?

Amy

[psreit]

First of all, if you believe the Lord wants you to homeschool, don't give up. He will give you what you need to do it.
Second, even if your 5yo is gifted, I believe LHFHG would still be enough for him. That guide is considered for up to 7 years old. Your ds would surely not be left behind by doing LHFHG. I wouldn't worry about that.
It sounds like your main concern is trying to homeschool with all the little ones. I am sure it is overwhelming. As I am not in that situation, I can't give you advice on that. I'm sure there are others here who can identify with you and may be able to help you come up with a routine for homeschooling and caring for other little ones.

[happyhome]

When we started homeschooling, advice we were given was to post the reasons up where we could refer back to them on a bad day. Education is one of those reasons, but others are to have a stronger family, more influence over our children and to provide them with a Christian education. I have six kids, two older- who we didn't start homeschooling until they were 6th and 4th grade, and 4 younger who have always been homeschooled. We live in the what I consider to be one of the best public school systems in the nation. However, I feel my younger kids have recieved a better education for life, that they are closer, more aware of Scripture, and have more "life skills" as a result of homeschooling. It has been hard and stressful- we have had whole days in rows of not really doing school, of sick kids, diapers, tantrums, potty training- I now have only 2 under 5- it gets easier every day:) Your stage of life is very hard. But your 1st grader will always be gifted, even if there are skills here and there they don't have that peers have- it isn't difficult for a smart kid to catch up- in fact they probably will naturally. My current 4th grader is very gifted. Last year for 3rd grade she did Beyond combined with her sister. Her end of the year testing showed her reading at a 11 grade level, her other language arts at between 8-9th grade and other subjects about the same. That is not because of me- it is her inner drive and desire to learn and devour books. Would I want to push her harder?

Not to mention you know as a teacher that when kids go to school they will need lunches, rides to the school or bus, you will fill you should volunteer at school functions, they will need to be dressed in clean, matching clothes everyday, and they will need a poster board, shoe box, etc. at the drop of a hat. These things can be just as stressful as homeschooling-imo.

I agree with the prior post, if God wants you to continue, then don't worry- you are enough. It has to be a calling from Him.

[hs.mama07]

Oh my, this is a favorite topic of mine...sorry if a get a bit, um, well, passionate And I'll say a prayer for you too 'cause gosh, I have two boys and the idea of 4 and being pg...whew!!

(Oh, and I think my oldest is gifted as well...and my big brother is profoundly gifted, which is why I’m rather passionate about the topic

Remember that enrichment programs were made for the classroom. At school, gifted children have to go at the same pace as their peers unless there is an enrichment program. But at home, your child can go as fast or slow as he wants without you having to add any additional curriculum. He can do extra pages if something is easy and he’s excited to move forward, or he can stay on a topic for a week and read about it on the internet or with library books (going in-depth).

Plus, in a classroom, once a gifted child finishes his work he has no choice but to just sit in his desk...hence the need for enrichment. But at home, when he finishes his school work, he has a whole enriching world before him. Siblings for interaction, a mom with a sleepy brain full of knowledge (not to mention a life growing inside...now that's science public school can't offer, lol), outdoors if you have a yard or a park nearby, a kitchen with real-life science and math applications, and the most important thing for a gifted child, in my opinion...freedom and time. The structure and schedules of school leave little room for a gifted child to get bored and then to use a random cardboard box to alleviate that boredom. Let him be a part of your day, your cooking and cleaning...talk with him about how his siblings bodies’ are growing, how the soap is able to get the poop off the couch, and why the milk smells so bad when you find a lost sippy cup under the bed. Provide a variety of good toys—educational ones and props for imaginative play and creative expression. In my opinion, the home is a wonderful place for a gifted child!

And, something else I've discovered. Preschool and kindergarten are very new in terms of history (the first K was in the 1800's but it still wasn't required even when my mom was in school 60 yrs ago). What this means is that some of the greatest minds in history, if they weren’t homeschooled, didn't even start school until 1st grade, at age 6 or 7...at which time they started learning the letter A and the number 1. And yet, these minds created and invented things that we still use and enjoy today. I'm sure God has great plans for your little guy too and if you think you're supposed to homeschool, I have no doubt God will bless your efforts!

[bethelmommy]

As long as you are continuing the 3 R's at his level, I think you'll be fine. We are using LHFHG this year for ds 1st grade and dd (still technically pre-k ) and it has worked out wonderfully. We started at the end of January and it will take us until May of next year to finish because we are expecting our #4 to arrive in the next couple weeks. Between breaks and general pregnancy blahs, we have not gotten as far as I would have liked in the guide. With the newborn and post c-section recovery, I anticipate another few weeks off in October. However, when the days are rough, I just try to get the 3 R's in with ds and then some non- LHFHG fun reading and call it a day. Ds has started the ER series and will be ready for math and spelling in Beyond when we start back after the baby is born. Both dc have had fun repeating LHFHG activities in their free time and each have their own interests they like to pursue on our light school days. I am OK with this for this season of life and have decided not to stress about what they could potentially be doing. Both are well placed in the HOD guide, both are excited about the baby and are having fun playing with their toddler brother. That is success for us as a homeschooling family this year. We'll tackle next year when we get there .

This overwhelming, chaotic time with young children really is a short season in the grand scheme of things. Homeschooling is an absolute calling for us as a family and combining my oldest two so far has been the best fit for them and for our family as a whole. Just take one day at a time and do what you feel led to do for now. God will make it clear if you need to go in another direction. And at least for me, I have to remember that I am extremely emotional during pregnancy and it is way too easy for me to worry about a lot of what ifs . So, it is even more important for me during this time to rely on God's guidance and not let myself be overwhelmed by fears and worries that are magnified by pregnancy. I didn't mean to write so much, but I hope something I shared helps . I pray you come to a peaceful decision.

[countrymom]

I fully agree with rootzfam and I have seen that kind of a plan work for us, as we have a very bright child as well. Our boys are 7 1/2 and almost 6 and we do HOD (LHFHG 1/2 speed and Bigger), but the main portion of their day is exploration, play, and plenty of fresh air. Dh was just commenting last night how complex older son's building has become. He designs his next "structure" and uses blocks, lincoln logs, legos, whatever he can find to build it. One of us is always home with them and we include them in our life. The questions and learning are nonstop. To make your life easier and make sure school does not become a burden, I think I would not do anything yet with the 4 yr old. My oldest did not do LHTH because we had not found HOD yet, and he began at LHFHG level and did fine. Since your oldest is still 5, I would not rush or worry. I would just do LHFHG with him and leave it at that. You don't want him progressing on to the other guides too early, and your 4 yr old would be too young to progress on with him. My bright child works the younger end of the guides with no problem, but I have purposely slowed him down along the way to make sure we don't hit Preparing too soon. Leave it in the Lord's hands, let your children run and play, and enjoy this very busy time of your life. Edited to add: we have used "reading time" to enrich our boys learning. This is not related to school and I choose good books from the library to read to them. I use the extra lists from HOD that I won't actually use in the guide (there are 3 lists when you get to Beyond and Bigger, boys, girls, and classic). I found my boys were ready to listen to some of those books by age 4 1/2. I also check out books that I see on other living books curriculum sites, which also eliminates any curriculum junkie syndromes . Their world is so expanded simply by spending some time each day reading to them. They learn so much from books. I know with little ones that is hard, but you could do 15 minute increments here and there. It is still easier than actually doing schoolwork and you can do it with a little more "chaos" going on around you.

[jacynamommy]

Hi Amy,
I feel I can relate closely to you, because I have 5 children myself. Our little guy, Silas, is 7 months old now, and our oldest is 8 (almost 9). Mine are a bit more spread out than yours and I am oftentimes overwhelmed by how demanding being a full-time mom and teacher to 5 little ones is, so I know you must feel that demand even more than I do! I am probably going to reiterate a few things others said, but I think they're important. First of all, be confident of why you're doing what you're doing and list those out. Use that to come back to when you feel like giving up. Pray, pray, pray for your school day. Prayer makes all the difference in the world! Also, I think LHGFH is great for your 5 year old. At times I thought it was a bit "easy" with my son who was advanced for his age, but I am glad I stuck with it. At that young age, you don't want to overwhelm him. Let him do his work and then let him do what he enjoys and learn what he enjoys...let him use that imagination and build (my son at 8 still builds with Legos for hours a day...and the things he comes up with amaze me), let him play outside and explore, let him research (with you) things that he really is interested in (bugs, volcanoes, dinosaurs, etc.), and find good books for him to read or you to read to him. All of those things will foster learning in him and also give him a real thirst and desire to learn more! I would also consider backing off on schoolwork with your pre-k child. You will be amazed how much they learn by just being nearby when the older ones are doing school. At least take a break from it until you get more into a routine with your older one or have more energy to focus on both of them. I have a daughter that just turned 5 although she would not have made the public school cutoff for K. I am waiting until next month to "officially" start HOD with her, because I wanted a good 6-8 weeks under my belt with the older 2 and new work with them. I am confident she is not lacking anything and know it will be best for all of us to wait to start her until we're good and ready. Hang in there, I commend you for what you're doing, because I know it is a tough, demanding job!

[mrsrandolph]

You can do math, reading, and spelling at your child's level. So LHFHG should be fine. : )

[amysue277]

I want to thank everyone who has taken a moment to chime in on my situation. As I ponder your thoughtful responses, a few things come to mind that may need clarification or further explanation.

-My son is 5 now, but will be 6.5 when we "offically" do LHFHG (meaning, the left side combined with his newly turned 5 year old brother). He will continue to do the right side of Beyond.

-What I currently do with my 4 year old is very minimal. We use workboxes and I put 3-4 "fun" games, puzzles, activities in there for him. Mostly, he loves that he gets his own time with me and truly feels like he is getting smarter like his brother. I think we both cherish this time. He also participates in doing a daily calendar, weather chart, reading from "Leading Little Ones to God" and listening to the Thornton Burgess books. If he waddles away, I'm fine with it as long as he doesn't disrupt. I know he's just 4, and I don't require much of him. I have been pleasantly surprised at how much of the Burgess books he is comprehending though.

-As I try to clarify my situation (as I could go on forever!) I think it boils down to two main questions that maybe someone can help me analyze.

1. I feel called to homeschool. It's in my blood. I have been preparing for years now, dreaming, reading, etc. However, at that time, I never imagined I'd have this many dear children so close together. And I had no idea how hard the task would be. Yes, I have my reasons posted but it all honesty, them seem a little less important now if that's even possible. I guess just being happy is trumping them...(background: my brother committed suicide and so I am extremely conscious of the word "happy" and want to make sure that my family is living live happily and joyfully.

So...my question is, how do I know if and when I should give it up? Ouch! I hate using that language but when do I know when I just can not do it? Maybe I can DO it, but perhaps not well. I feel honestly like I have not been the greatest wife (yes, hormonal for most of the past 5 years!), being overwhelmed, cranky, negative. My husband does not deserve that. I do not want to look back at these years and remember a cranky mama, or worse, have my kids remember a cranky mama. Some days are wonderful-I see the fruit of my rewards. But honestly, most days I have a less than perfect attitude about it all, and that yellow school bus is calling out to me! However, I strongly believe I can do all things through Christ who strenghthens me, but I feel like perhaps I've hit a point where I need to wise up and realize that I cannot do EVERYthing. Maybe I cannot be a good mother to these 5 precious people, keep the house, cook, AND be their teacher? How do I know when enough is enough or when this just isn't for me? Yes, I have prayed immensely on the subject and don't feel led any which way.

2. How do I know if I'm giving my child what he needs? I do understand all that I can give...love, hugs, cuddling, so much more than the public school in some ways. And yet I can't help but wonder if he would get more (art, music, crafts) than I can give. I anticipate not being able to give a whole lot next year. My own well-meaning mother said to me 'I just think it's impossible to continue homeschooling". I don't have a huge support network, mostly friends and family who think I've gone a little nuts.

So...there is a bit more to chew on. Having said all of that, I LOVE HOD and think it's perfect for my crazy situation. And yes, perhaps I am hormonal, emotional and everything in between. I go from being super excited to being super bummed out about it all. I just want to make sure it's enough, that it's a POSITIVE experience for our family. Again, thank you for your time and thoughts.
,
Amy

[my3sons]

Oh Amy, I wish I could give you a big hug! I think anyone would feel hormonal, exhausted, and stressed with having 5 dc in about 5 years. I know I would!!! You are not off feeling that way, by any means!!! Often times "well-meaning" family and friends can cause us to get off course with God's purpose for our lives. If you feel called to homeschool, you should do it. I am so very, very sorry about your brother, and I can see why a "happy home" is one of your main goals. I can also see why you are asking the questions you are asking.

I would love for you to try something. I think you should just do LHFHG 3-4 days a week with only your gifted 5 yo ds, and you can start half-speed. I'd not worry about the 4 yo yet. The gifted child will probably take off and soar on his own, and your second child can be combined in LHTH with your third child a year down the road. This thread comes to mind...
Carrie … said that most of the time when you are beginning HOD with young kids, it's easier to place the oldest exactly where he or she belongs and try to combine younger children. Here is the link to that thread.
viewtopic.php?f=6&t=6155

Focusing on older ds will help you get him started off on the right foot. It is very freeing to know you don't have to wait for younger child to join him. Simply getting started will help you see you can do this! HOD makes it easy on us mamas to teach - everything open and go - geared toward the right ages. I really think starting LHFHG (even half-speed) with oldest ds now would alleviate some of your fears about the years to come and about meeting his needs.

I also have to say this with the utmost respect and love - I really do think you need some support. I know I do, and I only have 3 dc (though I do work from my home too). So, I have to ask, is there someone who can help you out an afternoon or two each week? Dh? Mom? Neighbor? Another homeschooled older gal? I just think this is imperative as you have many little ones. Try to think outside of the box here.

Your question How do I know if and when I should give it up? ... I would not "give up". I would continue to pray, pray, pray about it, as I know you have been doing, and as long as you feel that homeschooling is part of you fulfilling God's purpose, I'd make it happen. BUT, I'd be realistic and work out the details for making this work.

How do I know if I'm giving my child what he needs? HOD sets age appropriate standards. This is such a relief to me! As long as you are doing a complete, age appropriate HOD guide with your dc, you are (academically), giving your child what he needs. HOD guides have helped me lead my dc spiritually as well, which I am oh so thankful for. As far as other needs your child has, showing you love him each day to the best of your ability goes much, much further than sending them to ps could go for filling your child's "love tank."

Love in Christ,
Julie

[netpea]

<hugs> I would suggest a homeschooling group or bible study group might help for emotional support for you. As for physical help, well, I don't really know where to find that myself. My in-laws passed away and my parents are not local. I have no one able to assist me and can't afford to hire help. I did have a woman from church come and help me clean out my basement and sunporch but I am still having to find a better way to keep up with housework and yardwork. Maybe Flylady or some other household organizer would help you there? also there is a calendar system called Managers of Their Homes that many find helpful.

It became abundantly clear last year that I wasn't able to meet the needs of my sixth grader anymore. He was rebelling against the workload and had no friends. It took putting him in PS for him to realize that the workload was appropriate. He had gotten it into his head that we were trying to turn him into a superkid and that school would be easier (surprise, it wasn't). He is making friends and learning how to be responsible fir his assignments now. For him it was the right decision. He needed to find out for himself what was expected of kids his age and needed to have someone other than me as his schoolmaster.

My middle child is thriving on homeschooling. She is my go getter. She makes friends easily and loves to read. I do sometimes feel guilty that the 2yo needs so much of my time but my middle child is clearly doing well at home.

I think you need to take a step back and remember that if God called you to homeschooling, He will equip you to see it through. I like Julie's advice to focus only on your 5yo right now. Just get that one child moving down the path and then consider how to combine the others. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step right?

Sorry, I am not trying to hijack your thread but I say all this to let you know that the journey ahead will not always be smooth sailing but if you are called to homeschooling then God will give you what you need.

[Carrie]

Amy,

The ladies have done an amazing job of giving you advice and helping you talk through your situation. I am so glad for the wise Christian counsel of the ladies on this board!

From reading through this thread, and pondering the thoughts you've shared, I sense a lingering worry that you are not doing enough "school" with your oldest child. I feel that you are concerned that he is school-aged now and not doing enough.

If this is so, then I do think it would be a good idea to look at your school-aged child as an indvidual and not worry about your next little person in line. If your oldest son seems ready for LHFHG, then by all means I would just start that little person with it rather than waiting for a combination of kiddos in the future that may not really be fruitful in the long run.

First-born kiddos are often born ready to run. They are programmed to lead! Second born kiddos often are overshadowed or lost in the shadow of the leadership of the oldest child. This is not always true, as it wasn't true for me with my older sister, but it can be true in so many cases as with my own two oldest sons. So, I share this to release you from the plan that you must combine your older two and to give you a chance to ponder just getting going with teaching your oldest on his own.

Rather than planning everything out for all of your little ones now, just take one step of faith with your first child knowing he will lead the way. If you just remember that right now you only have one child that you need to homeschool, things will look clearer. Yes, you have many children to parent, but truly only one to homeschool at this moment in time. And, I know you can homeschool this one precious child and mother the other ones this year! God will equip you!

So, I'd suggest getting underway with LHFHG, moving up to full-speed as soon as your oldest in ready. This will take the pressure off of you having to get your 4 year old up to speed to combine with an academically gifted older sibling, and it will just let your 4 year old be a 4 year old.

Only the Lord knows the future for any of us, so for now just take it one year at a time. Savor this time with your oldest child, letting him push on ahead and forge the way for the rest (rather than keeping him in a holding pattern waiting for the 4 year old to catch up enough to combine). This will help you see each of your children even more as individuals and meet their needs where they are right now. I think you will find this to be a huge relief!

Blessings,
Carrie

[amysue277]

Hi All,
Wow-I have been taking a few days to really ponder the advice of everyone-especially Julie and Carrie. I am so touched and grateful that the two of you would take time out of your busy lives to advise me...and I value your opinion more than you know.

I had honestly never thought about NOT combining #1 and #2. You have really given me some things to think and pray about. I spent a considerable amount of time last year praying on this very thing...whether or not to combine them. I felt that my oldest was definitely ready for LHFHG, and yet I knew there was a possiblity of my family growing and I came to the conclusion that it would be the best for everyone to combine them. They are 18 months apart. I also factored in that #3 and #4 are just 12 months apart, so I would eventually combine them down the road. Another thing is that my first and second are really joined at the hip. I honestly have no idea how I would tell my 4 year old that he wasn't "doing school" anymore, and take that away from him. I totally agree that it would take away a lot of my stress though...I just wish I would've started that way. He feels like such a big boy doing schoolwork and getting time with me. It might just break my heart to take that away from him. Mmmm....

Last year when I was considering all of this, I was thinking that this year (if a baby were to come)...it would be much simpler to do (in 2013-14) LHFHG (the complete book) with #1 and #2, rather than doing LHFHG with #2, and Beyond with #1. Wouldn't my life be easier to do option number 1? Of course I would keep my oldest challenged in math and reading. It makes complete sense for me to let my oldest soar and do his own guide (and everything else that Carrie mentioned) and yet I can't help but think it might be harder to run 2 guide next year (with a 1, 2,3 year old in the mix).

The only other option I can think of (and I sure wish I would've started this way) is to do the full LHFHG with my oldest this year, and nothing for my 4 year old. Then next year I could've done Beyond with my oldest and LHTH for my then 5 year old. Then the NEXT year I could do Bigger and LHFHG. Does that make sense? Then there would be 2 years between guides. Oh...I'm probably just thinking out loud here, sorry

Anyway, if anyone sees a clear answer here, feel free to chime in. I guess my options are to just forge ahead with my current plan, or to stop my 4 year olds school and do LHFHG in its entirety for my oldest. But he would miss everything up to Unit 4...is that okay?

Thanks and blessings,
Amy

[farmfamily]

I think if I were you I would continue to try to combine them, but I would save the Thornton Burgess books for next year, and do 2 days a week of the left side of the plans with your 4 and 5 year-olds. Continue with phonics/math daily with your oldest and work with your younger one on his letter sounds (one letter per week - could you do some of the activities from LHTH?). The reason I suggest this is that the activities on the left side of LHFHG are FUN! I think your two older ones will enjoy doing them together and they are not hard for you to do either. You could add any kind of reading from the library that your oldest is interested in, or that you have time for. The reason I suggest this is that it seems like by doing only the right side your school days would be less enjoyable. Thornton Burgess could be read every day next year and your could complete LHFHG next year by doing the left side three days a week. Your older one would probably be doing the right side of Beyond by then.

As far as your older one getting behind, I think you've had some excellent thoughts on that already. I would say that in general gifted kids are not well served by a classroom setting where they move at the pace of the slow/average learner. I think my own brother would have been considered gifted (he was able to do really well on tests while doing hardly any homework!), but he was so bored by school and acted up in consequence. I don't know whether my oldest would qualify as "gifted," but she's certainly smart and very advanced in reading. She is 8 and doing the left side of Beyond with her younger sister. She loves it, and I think great learning is taking place. Her math & English are on the level of a child just beginning with Preparing, and I am just working with her at that level. It works great for us. As long as your oldest keeps up with the 3Rs I think he would not be "behind" in any way.

I can't imagine how much work you have on your plate! I wonder whether as Julie suggests you could "think outside the box" for how to get a little help around the house. We have someone come to help clean the house, and it makes a MASSIVE difference for me. Saying a prayer for you today that God would give you peace as you seek His will in all of this!

[Carrie]

Amy,

You really could go several different directions here. One thing that you could consider would be if you did do your oldest in full-speed LHFHG right now, you could move your 4 year old down to LHTH. LHTH only takes 30 min. a day. You could even do LHTH more slowly if desired. This would allow both to have "school" without holding your older child back.

Then, next year, you could begin your then 5 year old in LHFHG at half-speed for a year. Half-speed can be as simple as doing the left side of the page one day and the right side of the page of plans the next day. We've done it this way ourselves! Half-speed LHFHG only takes 45 min. a day (which is not much longer than LHTH). This would give you time to work with your older child in Beyond next year.

Then, the following year, your older child would be in Bigger and your next child would finish LHFHG. At that point you could go full-speed in LHFHG if your then 6 year old was ready for it. Or, you could stay at half-speed LHFHG if that suited your child better. Either plan would work.

Then, you could plan for kiddos number 3 and 4 to be combined for the long haul. Number 5 might even be able to join in too.

Blessings,
Carrie