How to keep child's full attention during lesson?

[mommybelle]

I am really struggling with my dd5 (6 yrs in October). She can focus when she is interested in something, but if she is not interested, even the short lessons do not help. I read the following quote from Charlotte Mason's Inconstant Kitty story (Vol. 5), but I am very troubled with how to correct this problem.

"But do not let the lesson last more than ten minutes, and insist, with brisk, bright determination, on the child's full concentrated attention of eye and mind for the whole ten minutes. Do not allow a moment's dawdling at lessons."

So my question is how do you not allow even a moment's dawdling during lessons (even when keeping them at 10 minutes)? My daughter does not like learning to read AT ALL! It was painstaking for me this week as she read pages from The Reading Lesson. EVERY SINGLE WORD she read, she had to discuss it and use it in a sentence. I know reading comprehension is a wonderful thing, but we were only reading the words at this point and not the stories. And then, of course, she would constantly turn and look out the window. I would gently turn her head back to the lesson, but it didn't seem to help.

And the same thing goes with most any of the lessons. Any thoughts on whether this could be boredom or just a poor habit of attention? And how do I require the child's FULL concentrated attention for the 10 minute lessons?

It has been a rough week for both of us! When asked today by another family member if she was enjoying school, she got a sour look on her face, and she wouldn't respond. I am taking this very much to heart, and it really hurts me that she doesn't seem to be enjoying school.

[lissiejo]

This was a hard week for us too. Sometimes I can pinpoint why, but often I cannot. So know that you aren't alone

While I think the quote from Charlotte Mason is an ideal, we all have to accept that this won't happen every day with every subject. My daughter has a few subjects she has a hard time focusing on because she finds the work tedious, like handwriting. I will sometimes let her know a few details of an activity that I think she'll enjoy and give her something to look forward to. If there isn't anything in particular in the lesson I think will pull her forward mentally I'll come up with another activity, like baking cookies or playing a favorite game, to let her know that we'll get through it. Even just letting her know she'll have a break when she is done with that particular assignment gets her motivated.

Sometimes I take a few moments to remind her that I know everything we learn is not always going to be flashy and exciting, but we still have to learn those things. I'll also tell her about something I don't find much fun, but still recognize its importance. It seems to help her when I let her know there are some things I find not as much fun too, but I still have to do them.

I hate it when my girls' aren't having fun learning. I always stiffen when they are asked if they like their lessons by someone other than me or my husband because I never know how they'll respond. It feels like a reflection on me. I have to remember that it is okay if they don't always have fun and remember they are going to sometimes be bored or frustrated and not think what they are learning is fun. It's just part of learning sometimes!

Take heart, know you aren't alone, and keep pressing on! You are the best teacher for your daughter, created specifically for her

[mamayi]

I would take that quote from Charlotte Mason on 10 minutes of concentrated attention as a goal to work toward. Your dd may need to start with 2 or 3 minutes of focus and then build up to the 10 minutes over the course of time (a month, or six months, or a year- each child is different).
I vividly remember my oldest boy being how you described your dd and currently my newly 6 year old dd is similar. Some (and I would argue that MOST) children need to be taught to concentrate and accomplish tasks without dwadling. It's a skill that needs to be learned with consistent practice and training she'll get there!

[bethelmommy]

It was painstaking for me this week as she read pages from The Reading Lesson. EVERY SINGLE WORD she read, she had to discuss it and use it in a sentence. I know reading comprehension is a wonderful thing, but we were only reading the words at this point and not the stories.

This is exactly my dd. She likes to read, but when it comes to the actual lesson- especially the word lists, she has to discuss every word. Part of it may be personality and part of it maturity. For my dd, I feel like she is trying to verify what the words mean. Sometimes I give her leeway with words that sound like others or have multiple meanings. Other times I remind her to focus and only say the words so we can finish. Even though her reading level is quite a bit beyond where we are in The Reading Lesson, we still only do a page a day because it is rather tedious for me

We discuss character traits first thing in the morning along with our scripture reading and memory verse time. So, I like to refer back to those when she is having trouble. Are you being attentive, diligent, obedient, etc...? When she gets in a rut, I like to have something fun ready to do soon after so that she is more willing to stay focused and finish her work. She really likes "snack" math days and art projects in LHFHG, so it helps to let her know those activities are coming up when she struggles. The biggest help for dd is consistency. We have a fairly set routine everyday and as long as we stick to it, she is willing to work pretty hard during those short lessons.

[raindrops]

My ds (5) does that too. LOL!

We are 6 units into HOD and JUST got into unit 2 of the reading lesson. LOL. We are only doing a page at a time... although he is doing great and learning it is not his favorite subject.

He will read "at" and then use it in a sentence. "I am AT the store, need me to pick something up???" I think I might have said this actually, at (at! Haha) the beginning of the book... hmm. Is it possible that you did too? What if she read a word and then you modeled it in a sentence and now she thinks "that is the thing to do" so to speak, for every word from here on out?

But anyways, when he gets off track I just smile and simply say "yep" and what does this letter say? Try to get him back on track... wow, I really have to be careful! He watches me so closely... he knows how I hold my coffee cup as opposed to how dh does... and I think I must have modled word usage and now he is imating ME! So if I find it annoying... hey... then I am really annoying myself...

It is too late.

He will flop backwards too.

He is interesting.

Sounds like this is a common "problem" for this age. I wonder if it has to do with all their lives we have been saying "oh your so smart" "oh you know all about animals, princesses, tractors, whatever" and now they find themselves "in school" and suddenly they realize there is a whole lot they do not know and they're trying to "deal". Either by acting silly and if that doesn't work, they act uninterested and if that doesn't work how about a sour look or hiding under a pillow? LOL. Public school kids also give the sour look when talking 'bout school.

Well that is enough rambling for now! Sorry... eee..

[raindrops]

Just thought I would share something that helped us today. We did this.

Do you have a stuffed toy or doll... maybe a new one that only makes appearances during school time to cheer your daughter on? My son loves this sort of thing! We had a raccoon come sit in on his reading lesson and the raccoon was mighty impressed..! Ds had so much fun showing raccoon how he could read. We quickly got through 2 pages! Ds did great! Raccoon and I were wowed!

LOL

And doing the reading first helps a lot too. I know it is the last block... but I think we should start with their "weakest" area first, and save their favorite subject for last as motivation.

[Tansy]

Like raindrops I used to use a doll (and still do... oh man did I just admit that) for my 13 year old. I have her be the dolls part, so she reads as the doll, or the she gets a turn then the doll gets a turn with the child reading/doing both parts. It's more like play and less like work...

Some times she makes mistakes as the doll then corrects the doll as herself.

[mommybelle]

Thank you everyone for your wonderful responses! These have all been very, very helpful!

But anyways, when he gets off track I just smile and simply say "yep" and what does this letter say? Try to get him back on track... wow, I really have to be careful! He watches me so closely... he knows how I hold my coffee cup as opposed to how dh does... and I think I must have modled word usage and now he is imating ME! So if I find it annoying... hey... then I am really annoying myself...

raindrops...I read your post twice and laughed out loud both times! I am pretty sure you nailed my problem with her...she's JUST LIKE ME! That should explain the habit of attention as I get pretty distracted myself when it isn't something I really want to be doing. And, yes, I must be pretty annoying myself! LOL!

I hate it when my girls' aren't having fun learning. I always stiffen when they are asked if they like their lessons by someone other than me or my husband because I never know how they'll respond. It feels like a reflection on me. I have to remember that it is okay if they don't always have fun and remember they are going to sometimes be bored or frustrated and not think what they are learning is fun. It's just part of learning sometimes!

Take heart, know you aren't alone, and keep pressing on! You are the best teacher for your daughter, created specifically for her

lissiejo - This really spoke to my heart! I think I've been expecting everything in school to be fun for her, but that isn't always the case. Generally, she does enjoy most of the lessons. I am afraid that she is sensing my frustration with certain subjects, and that is turning her off from "loving" school. But, it is okay for her not to love everything! And it is good to know I'm not alone! Not that I want anyone else to struggle, but it is good to know that this is absolutely normal!

I did change things up a bit with her reading this week. I added more tactile involvement on her part, and she actually LOVED and smiled during the entire lesson and she did NOT want to stop! I pulled out the magnetic letters and we built the words together on the magnetic dry erase board. I have also read a simple chapter book to her, and I've stopped to let her read the words I know she knows or could sound out. When she became disinterested, I just continued reading without stopping for her to read. She LOVED this too!

And as for my struggles with her in math (which I was afraid was boredom because she knows much of the stuff we are studying), I tried to make every activity include food if at all possible! Success!!!

raindrops and Tansy - Hmmm...that's a thought! She used to want to do The Reading Lesson where she was the teacher, and I was the student (after we had initially completed the lesson with me as teacher first though), but we stopped that for some reason...probably because she dragged the lesson out forever as usual (when she really enjoys something)!

I also found this topic on the HOD forum that I wanted to share in case any of you are having the same problems. Julie's comments (along with some others) were very helpful as well!

viewtopic.php?f=6&t=6726&hilit=full+attention

Thanks again for all of your comments! This board has been such a blessing to me! I've only ever read encouraging comments on here, and that is so uplifting!

[raindrops]

I am so glad that your last reading lesson went well! What a good idea to use the moveable letters. I will have to try that as well.

Raccoon sat in on our lesson again today and ds did good. Only wanted to do one page though so we stopped. He did awesome on that one page though! I don't care if it takes us over a year to get through the book... I want him to learn to love to read more than just "learn to read".

Have you shown your daughter the bible she will be able to read to you next year?

I can't click that link you posted. What was the title of the thread? I will look it up.

[mommybelle]

raindrops - We actually already own The Beginner's Bible (which she also loves), but I haven't thought to tell her that she'll eventually be able to read it herself. That would probably encourage her. And great point on the "learning to love to read" instead of just "learning to read." Though that is my ultimate goal and I've always agreed with that notion, I sometimes forget that while dealing with the daily struggles. And I guess I feel that push sometimes to make sure she is where she is "supposed" to be academically as we have some family members I know who don't fully agree with our decision to homeschool. I need to step back and remember the One and only I am to be trusting and following.

I just realized the link didn't work...sorry about that! I don't know how to link it as "viewtopic" like everyone else always does, but I can link the entire web address to that particular topic. Does anyone know how to link threads differently?

viewtopic.php?f=6&t=6726&hilit=full+attention