Slightly OT - I have some habits to break! Can you relate?

[Heidi in AK]

Please see my blog entry. I, unfortunately, have a social tendency I have to address. That said, we have been consistent in getting our 2 units of LHFHG every month, which has been my goal.

I got some good encouragement from fellow homeschooling friends, but wanted to know if you could relate or had some feedback. WE LOVE HOD, and I know that I just have to change my focus to make sure I place adequate attention on our homeschool!

http://heidihovan.blogspot.com/2011/10/ ... -soul.html

[MelInKansas]

I must have a similar personality to yours, and last year when I started cutting off social engagements in order that we could get school done every day, I really suffered. I felt cut off from my friends (several of which only had preschoolers still so they were always getting together or doing activities when I couldn't because of school), and I felt myself slowly sliding into a little bit of a depression. Once I realized this, I realized that I needed to change one of two things - either make myself more social time when our normal school schedule allowed, or be more flexible with the school schedule so that the occasional morning outing would be okay. Especially when you have a younger one who needs to nap in the afternoon, nearly the only time you can do things with other people is in the morning, I totally get that. This year I made up two possible schedules, one for a day where we would be home at least until 12:30, and one for a day where we would want to do something else from 11-2. I have to say the schedule is a bit blown out of the water, we have found it difficult to get up and get going by the scheduled time each day. This seems to always happen to me actually right around the time of the time change, so when the time changes, it'll probably work out. But, having two possible schedules, or even before we start school I will just think through what we can get done before our other commitment (today it was taking Daddy to the airport at 10:30, so of course we HAD to do that), then what gets left for that afternoon slot while little sis sleeps.

And I read your follow up comment on the blog. Your other commenters were right, if you are getting your 3 days of school done each week, then you're doing just fine! I struggled with feeling like I wasn't doing a good job or I wasn't doing it right because our schedule would always get thrown off by other things. I think it really just made me feel off, that we didn't have a good routine and different things were happening each day. Sometimes it does seem to bother the kids too. But, overall, it's a good thing to be flexible and be able to adapt and I think the HOD curriculum makes this pretty easy. I just check off my boxes, check to see what else we need to do in the afternoon and we get it done. I really hate doing school in the afternoon BTW... I am hoping Friday will be a day where we can get it all done in the morning again because we're not doing anything unusual.

[KristinBeth]

Hi Heidi,
I think you have a problem that is common to a lot of homeschoolers I have met! Getting school done among the out-of-house activities. I agree that since your dd is only in K and she is not struggling with her learning, it's fine. We mix up our schedule fairly regularly too, with our trips out of state to see my family every couple of months, and when they come to visit us, things get all crazy.
The only caution I would have is in habit formation. Teaching that you can put off school for a social engagement may make things more difficult for you in the future, when you have more school to get through and you have to start competing for time. If you purposely schedule school three days per week, that's fine, but if you skip a planned school day for something else, it could lead to a de-valuing of school time, kwim?

[lmercon]

I am a very social person also, but I will say that I have had to make changes as my children have gotten older. Because both children are in separate programs, and because my ds is severely dyslexic, I have to spend a lot of my day with them doing school. In addition to HOD, both dc go to a hs gym and choir weekly. My dd is in ballet, and my ds is very involved in baseball. I also work one day a week. Needless to say, most of my days are filled with attending to the needs of my dc. This is just the season of my life right now. There will come a day when they will no longer be here needing my every minute - and I will miss it. I try to get together with girlfriends every once in a while - not as often as we like! We usually meet in the evening and talk long into the night. We are always the last out of the restaurant! As your children get older and need more time from you to attend to their schooling needs, you will have to adjust your social schedule, but that happens slowly. Enjoy the freedom in your schedule now with an understanding that things will change as a new season comes into your life.
hth,
Laura

[Carrie]

Such excellent advice in this thread! What a blessing this board is to so many readers!

Blessings,
Carrie

[MelInKansas]

Laura, thanks for sharing that. I need to hold onto that too, because we are gradually growing into the stage where we really do need the time at home, we need the consistency of a regular time to do school every day, and since this is where God has called me to be I can trust Him to fill my needs in other ways than I used to. Time with friends will look different, and actually there aren't nearly as many good daytime opportunities for activities once you have school-age children because... most children are in school so a lot of the storytimes and things are geared for much younger kids.

But we do have our co-op and fellowship with other homeschooling moms! Thankfully their schedules often look a lot like ours do.

[tnahid]

We are very social as well, but I feel the things we do are also very important for us all as well. What I usually do is that whatever they don't finish before we leave for our outing, they have to do when we get home. It's just the way it is. So, usually if we go somewhere in the afternoon, that is an extra motivation for them to move quicker and get more done before we leave, but if not, we just work til we're done. Yes, some days things get skipped, but I just add it to the next day. I really believe in the lifestyle of learning, so I am trying not to stress about things being done in the afternoon or early evening. I actually have a son, my oldest, who does BETTER work later in the day. So, go figure! It's working out for us. God will make a way for all the things HE wants you to be involved in. Just seek HIs wisdom and ask Him what is right for YOUR family. What is right for one may not be for another. Thus, the beauty of the homeschool! Your children are learning much from outings and extra-curricular activities as well, but just don't overdo it until you are all burnt out.

Bless you!

[my3sons]

I can relate! I wasn't sure if you'd ever seen my response in the week before's weekly check-in, but here it is in case you didn't get a chance to read it...


Heidi in AK wrote:
We are crawling along in Unit 4 of LHFHG. Please see my post about it. Mommy's trying to break some old habits!


Heidi - I enjoyed reading your blog. You obviously have such a love for your dc. Reading your blog made me think back to how I felt after I had our third baby. I was feeling very tired out after our third ds was born, running here and there, whether for errands or for appointments, and my dh began to travel and be gone for long periods of time. It helped me to choose certain days for these. For the past 4 years, I have done all my errands and appointments on the same two afternoons each week. It has helped so much! Because I know beforehand when I will be running errands or making appointments, when I have to make an appointment or set up an errand day, I know right when I will be doing it.

I wonder if it would be helpful to choose a "catch up with friends" day or two each week? Or maybe if it needs to be more flexible and change days due to certain social engagements you'd like to go to, you could just choose 1-2 things to attend each week, making sure to mark your calendar that 2 days are for social engagements, and 3 days are alloted for school? A physical trainer suggested I do this for exercising at home, and it made a big difference for how successful I was in actually exercising. It was just a simple 2 row by 7 column table, with the names of days of the week across the top, a row for me to pencil in a plan for the next 7 days for when I'd exercise and where, and another row under that for me to write what I did. I just made this out 1 week at a time, and it wasn't always the same days or the same routine. I'm not sure why, buy something about writing it down just made it happen more often. Sometimes something would come up, and I'd have to move Monday's exercise to Wednesday (which was going to be a day off), but all in all, I usually exercised 5 times a week then. Come to think of it, I NEED to do this with exercise again pronto! Anyway, I wonder if you could make a 7 day plan, jotting down 3 days' worth of school, and 4 days' worth of whatever else needs/wants to be done, and then see how that goes? That's just an idea you can try out or just forget. I will say that if I don't plan for school (or exercise) to get done, it just doesn't. So you are not alone in this! I hope something here can help!

In Christ,
Julie

Since I posted this, I started making my exercise chart again, and it's been working - so thanks for inspiring me to get moving again! Also, I wanted to add, I absolutely have to have one night out with a friend each week to wind down over a meal at a restaurant where someone else sets the table, makes the food, waits on me, and cleans up when we're done. I love never looking at my watch, and my friend and I talk late into the night. I NEED this time. I also NEED Sundays - they fill my "tank" up again - spiritually, mentally, and physically! I also NEED to have a date with my dh as time allows, usually once or twice a month. I think it's good to realize our needs and to plan for them. I try to keep this in balance with the rest of my responsibilities in life, like homeschooling, but when my needs are filled, I am a more happy, balanced person to be around - I'm probably a little more easy to love.

HTH - and I think you are doing just fine! We all search for balance within our lives, and I think you are reflecting on that and figuring out what will work best for you. That is the best way to come to the right answer. I really don't think there's one right way to go about balancing our lives, just one right way that's right for you. May the Lord help you find it!

In Christ,
Julie

[Heidi in AK]

Thanks, Julie! Your post and so many others give me confidence that I'm on the right track...and I love your idea of going to dinner with a friend! Being in the military, where all of us have little kids and often husbands are gone, we have a hard time grabbing that...and then meeting that right friend often takes a couple of years, to where you have a good year with them before you or they have to move! Oh well, I think we are doing ok too. We're doing LHFHG Unit 4-5 today even though it's a Saturday. I have just told myself that day might be one of the ones that always works right now, and that's why we homeschool. It's not like we're doing M-F straight and then doing "Saturday school" too!

Thank you! I was going to exercise early this morning after all of us went to bed super late...but DD is up now, so I'm not sure what our morning will bring!