Help!!!!

[GinainMD]

Hello to all! I am using Bigger this year with my two oldest. We are also using R&S english 3 and R&S math 3. I am noticing that my oldest dd is needing A LOT of hand holding. For example last week in R&S english I told them to copy sentences from the book circle the simple subject, underline the simple predicate and then diagram the sentence. These were easy sentences. ie Sarah giggled. So younger dd does this no problem and I know oldest dd can do them because we had been doing a bunch of examples aloud but she couldn't do these. When I sat next to her and said "Now write the sentence. Good, now what is the simple subject? Ok now underline the simple pred." etc. She was able to complete it all no problem. For what it's worth they each have their own book to look at and we're starting our fourth week. Is this cause for concern? What can I do to get her to follow several part instructions? This is her fourth grade year. Do I need to get tough or should I keep holding her hand? I am really struggling with knowing when to push her and when to stop. Any advice? TIA

[Tansy]

This age is usually when the problems start to pop up. I'm gonna throw out the old... did you get her eyes checked recently? Question. Cause its good to rule out a physical problem. And so often the way they see is the Norm for them and it might not be ideal. If she is having visual issues this is typical behavior. Does she have trouble copying other work? The hand holding you are doing may be just helping her focus on the page enough to do it.

Maybe a few sample sentences diagrammed on a white board. Have her come up to the board to do a part of it. Then sisters turn etc. You can check for fine motor skill vrs gross motor. The white board uses Gross motor skills, copying to paper uses fine.

[GinainMD]

Tansy, thanks for replying! She has had vision exams but not within the last year. We do a ton of practice on the white board. She has no problem with the copying. Her handwriting is beautiful, can't tell hers and mine apart at times. Motor skills are also excellent and have been for many years, gross and fine. Thanks for helping me trouble shoot. Any other ideas?

[LynnH]

Can she follow multiple step directions in things other than school? If she can then it may be that she has gotten very used to you doing hand holding. My ds can be like that. Maybe you can start by just telling her 2 directions and then once you check that give her the third. After doing that for awhile then add the third. The other thought I had is do you think she could be afraid of making a mistake so she wants to clarify at every step. My dd used to be like that and can still sometimes do that even at 16 because she is a perfectionist. If she struggles with following multiple step directions in all areas then she may have auditory processing or short term memory issues.

[tnahid]

My 10 year old is just like this. I find that when I go over the directions with him out loud prior to him doing a page, that he does MUCH better. But if I leave it to him to do on his own, he always misses some part of the direction or can't understand the direction at all! Anyway, I am finding that when he reads it at the same time I am reading it, he does much better. I do hope he will get better at this as he matures. But for now, I have just resigned myself to the fact that this is how he learns and processes the best way, and I need to do that for his sake. I really do think when he is more emotionally mature he will be able to follow the directions more closely. My 8 year old is the opposite and is fine reading directions on his own and doing it.

How can our children be SOOOOO different!? Our Lord certainly has a sense of humor! But also an original plan for each of them, that is very different. So I try to keep that in mind too.

Bless you... P.S. I am also finding that during the read-alouds, if I have my 10 year old sit by me and read along silently while I am reading aloud, he does much better as well at being able to narrate it back to me.

[Tansy]

This might be what is know in the PS as "Homeschool Syndrome". They just aren't used to doing independently. Lots of kids just like someone to sit next to them and tell them what to do next.

You could give them a warm up game to how to follow instructions tell them silly instructions like run to the door, touch the handle, turn around, close your eyes. or give me a hug, walk backward 3 steps, hop on one foot, touch your hair, sing lalalalalala...

Get there brain use to receiving 3-4 instructions in a fun way, then orally go over the school work , then walk away... We do this with our Spectrum child it really helps.

[GinainMD]

Thanks for all of the great ideas ladies! I think that she is being overwhelmed by so many instructions. I have decided to write out the instructions on the white board and number them for her. Also, I've had her repeat instructions back to me after I give them. Too soon to really tell but she seems more confident already. Thanks again for helping me think this through.

[my3sons]

Great discussion - great ideas! Some dc seem to just be wired to follow step-by-step directions than others. It helps my middle ds (who is more of a creative, less order-focused, child) to have him read the directions out loud to me in R & S English. I then do a few of them with him, with me doing the writing in his composition book to model how I want his work to look. Then, he finishes out the section in his composition book. I think it helps him to see my model written down in his book. I did it on markerboard with my oldest, and then he could just do it on his own after that, but with my middle ds, he seems to do better with a written example right in his composition book to look at. I only have him write 3-5 things at the most, and the rest we do orally.

On a side note, to help him learn to follow directions in general, I have him read through each box of plans in the guide in its entirety before beginning his work on a box. He then gets out the things he needs (and I help too), and I have him tell me what he'll be doing.
HTH!

In Christ,
Julie

[mamas4bugs]

Can she follow multiple step directions in things other than school? If she can then it may be that she has gotten very used to you doing hand holding. My ds can be like that. Maybe you can start by just telling her 2 directions and then once you check that give her the third. After doing that for awhile then add the third. The other thought I had is do you think she could be afraid of making a mistake so she wants to clarify at every step. My dd used to be like that and can still sometimes do that even at 16 because she is a perfectionist. If she struggles with following multiple step directions in all areas then she may have auditory processing or short term memory issues.

Or ADD or dyslexia/disgraphia. I was wondering the same thing--can she follow multiple step directions in other areas? For instance, can you tell her to rinse her plate, put it in the dishwasher, brush her teeth and put on her pj's? If so, then maybe she is just likes having you near. If not, there may be another cause.

[Mom2Monkeys]

I didn't read the others replies yet, but I have to have my 10yo read the directions herself and then tell me what she is to do. I have her start and then check after a couple minutes to make sure she is doing it right and not leaving anything out. She's had lots of difficulty following directions (verbal and written)...I'd say my almost 5yo is catching up to her. Her 7yo brother has surpassed her in this area. There's auditory processing issues to consider and we assume ADD (impulsiveness being the main culprit, she always has her mind on the next thing, ready to act without thinking through...barely skimming the surface of the words or situation before acting/reacting-- most all situations, including social.) It's really helped having her listen, read along, repeat or read aloud, and explain to me.