How to i break it to him that he's not going to Kindergarten

[rgrindle]

My 5-year-old went to a private preschool (3 half-days a week) last year. In January, we added on LHTH with him and his 4-year-old brother, doing 3 lessons a week or so. They love HOD, and we are continuing with LHTH (adding math and reading for the older). But my preschool graduate is now excited about starting Kindergarten, asking daily how much longer until school starts! He loves school. He loves learning. The kids in the neighborhood will be starting in less than two weeks, and I know he's going to be so hurt that he's not getting to finally ride that yellow bus and go to school like the big kids.

BTW - There is a home-school co-op that will meet once a week starting mid-September, but what do I do until then? We're new to the area and don't know any other HS families to plan activities with. And we've been doing LHTH, so I don't think that will be different and new enough to suffice...

[hobandrolly]

Boy, I have no idea~can you take him to lunch to break it to him, then take him shopping for new school supplies?? Maybe plan a special breakfast for the first morning?? That's a tough one! I hope someone pops on with some good ideas...

[my3sons]

My first thought when I read this is "Break out the party candles and cake!" Ds is blessed enough to be homeschooled by someone who loves him better and more than anyone else (save for other family members) in this world! That is a recipe for success.

I have found that, at least for my dc, it is 95% MY attitude and reaction to homeschooling that influences their attitudes and reactions to homeschooling. If I am excited, and certain about what we are doing, they are. If I am indecisive, acting like they are missing out on something, they feel that way too. So, the #1 thing you can do is be happy, excited, and certain about what you are doing yourself! That is certainly good news, as you have total control over what you say and do. Though you may be finishing out LHTH, you can still make things fresh by getting some new school supplies. That is always fun! When we first began homeschooling, I wrapped them like gifts and hid them around the house. We also often have donuts and hot cocoa the first day of school, or even eat out for lunch somewhere special... because WE CAN! Having total control over our day and what we do with our dc is such an incredible blessing. I try to point it out to my dc often. For example, when the bus comes at 7:00 AM to pick up the dc across the highway, and we are still in our pj's eating breakfast, I like to point out what a blessing a slower start to the day can be. When it is blizzarding outside, I like to point out what a perfect day it is to do school, and how unfortunate it is that school was called off for dc in ps, as they will need to do an extra day of school on a lovely day in spring. I also like to take Fridays to play with cousins. If I didn't have cousins, I'd actively look for 1 good friend or 1 family of dc to have over each Friday afternoon for my dc. Or, I'd make Friday a field trip day, or an eat out day, or an ice cream day, or a movie and popcorn day, or whatever is fun and different from the rest of the week.

If ds seems not to be excited about homeschooling, I wouldn't dwell on it. I'd just keep my cheerful, excited attitude, and eventually, he'll be cheerful and excited too. And if not, discipline can always be the next option. However, attitudes are catching, and most dc will choose a positive attitude if parents do. They know we have their best interests at heart. It doesn't hurt to explain why you are choosing to homeschool, and I have found it incredibly helpful to truly know those reasons myself. They are what have kept me happily homeschooling with confidence these past 9 years. I hope this helps out, but you are making such a wise decision to homeschool! Celebrate it - it's such a gift to give to our dc!

In Christ,
Julie

[Robbi]

Hi, I don't post much on here but I had to chime in and say I am right where you are!! Except my dd went to ps kinder (all day, everyday) last year and we are now homeschooling this year for 1st! My dh & I sat down w/ dd & explained in simple terms why she wasn't going back (its a far drive, gone all day & not learning bout Jesus)! Anyway now she is excited about homeschooling but says she wants to go back to ps for 5th grade so she can be a student crossing guard!! LOL. I just have to agree w/ pp that your attitude will make a difference & just keep pointing out the good in staying home!! It will work out!

God bless,

[Kims]

You need to make it a positive experience for him. Talk about how excited you are to have him home with you all day so you can teach him about Jesus and you won't miss him so much. Tell him about the co-op you are going to do and build that up to be something special.
Kids are very adaptable.

[christina101902]

All of the ideas given are wonderful. I would also suggest calling your local school board to find the contact for your local homeschool association/group. I never knew there were so many options out there, before I found my group. I also thought just like most people think homeschool kids just stay at home and solely depend on their immediate family for socialization. Boy was I wrong. My daughter is now signed up for Horse Riding classes, 4H, Girl Scouts, and Children in Action, and a Library Group(all of which are free). And whats even better is they occur when other children are still in school. My daughter asked the same questions , when I can I go and why can't I go? When I shared with her that in the ps, where her cousins will be attending, she could not learn about Jesus. She would have to get up at 6 and not see me again until 4 everyday. She was quick to change her mind. She has been not only content with hs but excited. LHFHG will make a big difference for him.

[Mom of Three]

Talk about the negatives of school.

A LOT.

"Look at those kids waiting for the school bus! 5 days EVERY week! Whether it's raining or snowing or hot or cold...they have to be dressed at this early hour and out there in the weather! Aren't you glad we're inside drinking hot chocolate?"

"Hey! We're at the park at 10 a.m.! If you went to a school, you would have to be sitting still at a desk. All morning. That would be boring, wouldn't it?"

"The kids at school get a 10 minute recess. I'm giving you 20!"

"The kids at school are there for four hours! And they bring homework home to do for an hour in the afternoon! Aren't you glad we're done with school in an hour?"

(I haven't done HOD kindergarten, so I don't know how long it takes)

Think about the benefits from a child's point of view. Spending more time with Mommy might not sound like a positive to a five year old who thinks school is just a chance to be with friends all morning.

[vjj4]

I agree with making school special -- we have always (nine years h/s) had a "not back to school day" on the first day of ps. We go somewhere special, or have a special treat or something to mark the day. My ds, 8, always wanted to ride the bus, but he hasn't mentioned it lately. My daughter always wanted to ride the bus, and never had an opportunity, but they get over that kind of stuff. Ironically, before my kids were born, my dad drove a school bus for years!

I am having a difficulty this year with family and with neighbor children trying to convince my ds that he is "missing out" by being homeschooled. This has happened several times, so I have had to ramp up my "homeschool benefits" speech. It really irritates me that people will not mind their own families. I have, so far, resisted in explaining what they are "missing out" on by not being homeschooled, but I may not resist much longer. I am about ready to let them all have it! We've not had this problem for a few years now, so I'm a little rusty in "defending" our lifestyle of learning. Not much in the mood to have to "defend" it at all...sorry, didn't mean to fuss so much.

[tnahid]

Wow! On a humorous side note...I have a son that is adamant AGAINST school that he says he NEVER wants to go again! He shudders and cringes when or if I ever even bring it up! Very closed to it, almost to the negative point. I don't really want him to be THIS adamant, but I guess it does have some advantages...

P.S. I think all this advice is wonderful! I wish I had done that with my middle son last year. He went to Kindergarten at a Christian school and really enjoyed it. But he is very laid back about things and adjusted well, although I think he missed certain aspects of it. I would say just to make it fun and still provide him with some social activities, extracurricular. He will adjust quickly I believe.

Blessings on your year! If I can help you in any way, please just ask!

[Shimmer]

I focus them on getting excited about the cool things WE get to do for our school. We celebrate the first day of school with a party (complete with balloons and special snacks). I wrap up their new school supplies as presents and we make school shirts. They are old enough to help plan how we'll celebrate. This year we went on a field trip right away. It's all very fun and we look forward to it.

I haven't had the issue of them feeling like they are "missing" anything yet, but I still want to remain positive even in that situation. While I would love to homeschool them all the way to graduation, I don't know what the future holds. I speak very positively about public school because I don't want them to dread the idea of going there in case homeschooling isn't a choice later. I also don't want them to have the impression that public school is a "bad" place so they don't speak negatively about it to their public school friends.

Good luck and enjoy your school time together.

[KristinBeth]

This too shall pass. My daughter was begging to go to preschool because that seemed to be where all the fun happened. After repeatedly talking with her about why we are keeping her home (not allowed to pray or learn about God at school, won't be together for 6 hours a day, have to sit still at a desk most of the day, etc.) now she doesn't want to go to school. The bus was never an issue for us because she was never going to take it, but I can see how that yellow roaring fun capsule would be appealing. He'll get over it. Our homeschool group is very important to celebrate holidays with other kids, field trips and park days to play. It helped us not feel like we were just at home or in rec classes (and she could make friends).

Maybe surprise him with a schultuete (a big posterboard cone filled with school supplies, small toys and small candies) and decorate the house for "first day of school" to make it festive? Have lunch out or the park after lessons. Good luck!

[deltagal]

I have not read this thread, BUT my dd went to a wonderful preschool for one year and was so excited about the next step. I was quaking in my boots that I was going to disappoint her and THEN I simply made up my mind to tell her that we had even better plans for her. We ordered her books, planned snacks and took time to get ready. We had no issues. She has done great. The bus stops at my front door (literally) and she doesn't even blink any more.

Have courage!

[girlboygirlboy]

We went through the same thing when my oldest went from preschool to homeschool. An online friend recommended the book Kandoo Kangaroo Hops into Homeschool http://www.amazon.com/Kandoo-Kangaroo-H ... 0890512906. It helped explain what it was going to be like and get her a little excited. I also told her about the field trips we were going to go on, co-ops/park days, and other "neat" things about hsing. All my worrying and it turned out to be a big non-issue once we got going.

Blessings to you as you start your adventure!

[MelInKansas]

I can relate to how you are feeling, because my oldest, though she never went to preschool of any kind, got it into her head that she really wanted to go to public school. The kids in our neighborhood don't ride a bus, because we live very close to the school, but of course we see them all the time and she wanted to ride it. We talked about why being homeschooled is better for her, and why we made that choice. Now she is all excited and always sharing about why she loves being homeschooled. We will be doing a co-op this year but this is the first year we are doing one. I am sure she will love it.

Yeah I would plan some fun things like park days or field trips and demonstrate that this is why being homeschooled is better. Not having to sit at a desk for most of the hour, and really, we have so much fun with HOD my kids love it and I don't think they would want anything else. At least until they get a little older.