My 8 yr old dd struggles with perfectionism -she ALWAYS has. I have worked with her to manage this throughout the years. I love HOD, however, art is usually a disaster for us. In fact, Charlotte Mason method is not natural AT ALL for her or I. We are not switching programs, i was wondering if you had any ideas to make this easier for us..
When it's time for the exercises, she has some preconceived idea of how it needs to look, and if not, then she is devastated and angry.
Now she is very creative- just if it's on her own, her way, her idea.
perfectionism
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ninipelley
- Posts: 57
- Joined: Fri May 21, 2010 5:29 pm
perfectionism
2011-2012 plan
9.5 yr dd Preparing
7 yr ds finishing LHFHG
4 yr dd learning letters
almost 3yr dd tagging along
9.5 yr dd Preparing
7 yr ds finishing LHFHG
4 yr dd learning letters
almost 3yr dd tagging along
Re: perfectionism
Open-ended activities, such as art or Charlotte Mason style learning, require higher level thinking, and they are just harder. This is especially hard for perfectionists, which is precisely why it is so important to have them do it. I know because I can tend to be one, a perfectionist that is, and my oldest ds unfortunately is prone to take after me. 
Perfectionism can rob us of joy. It helped my ds and I to have a switch in our thinking. In this kind of learning, it is so much more about the PROCESS than the PRODUCT. This was a 180 degree turn in thinking for us. 
So, when ds put salt instead of sugar in his recipe, we can learn that following a recipe carefully is important, and salty cookies don't taste as good as sugary ones. 
When ds forgets to wet down his watercolor painting and no surprise, it doesn't "blend" like it's supposed to, well, we remember to do that another time. CTC was a pivotal year for the two of us to leave our "perfectionist" shoes behind. Here is a post that shows what I am trying to say here, and it's the watercolor painting part that I am remembering vividly...
viewtopic.php?f=14&t=6100&p=44667
I hope this helps somewhat, but just know it is worth working through this habit of perfectionism, and replacing it with a habit of careful work that is accompanied by grace if something doesn't turn out. I'm picturing my perfectionist tendencies ds with his future wife someday, and hoping that if she burns dinner, he'll try to eat it without censure or say "Let's order pizza!" instead of making her feel like she failed. These are the lessons to teach now for our dc, and though they are TOUGH to teach, they are worthy of our effort.
In Christ,
Julie
Perfectionism can rob us of joy. It helped my ds and I to have a switch in our thinking. In this kind of learning, it is so much more about the PROCESS than the PRODUCT. This was a 180 degree turn in thinking for us. So, when ds put salt instead of sugar in his recipe, we can learn that following a recipe carefully is important, and salty cookies don't taste as good as sugary ones. When ds forgets to wet down his watercolor painting and no surprise, it doesn't "blend" like it's supposed to, well, we remember to do that another time. CTC was a pivotal year for the two of us to leave our "perfectionist" shoes behind. Here is a post that shows what I am trying to say here, and it's the watercolor painting part that I am remembering vividly...viewtopic.php?f=14&t=6100&p=44667
I hope this helps somewhat, but just know it is worth working through this habit of perfectionism, and replacing it with a habit of careful work that is accompanied by grace if something doesn't turn out. I'm picturing my perfectionist tendencies ds with his future wife someday, and hoping that if she burns dinner, he'll try to eat it without censure or say "Let's order pizza!" instead of making her feel like she failed. These are the lessons to teach now for our dc, and though they are TOUGH to teach, they are worthy of our effort.
In Christ,
Julie
Enjoyed LHTH to USII
Currently using USI
Wife to Rich for 28 years
Mother to 3 sons, ages 23, 20, and 16
Sister to Carrie
Currently using USI
Wife to Rich for 28 years
Mother to 3 sons, ages 23, 20, and 16
Sister to Carrie