Still not confident in placement of ds in Preparing

[tbarr12]

To Rebecca's questions - no, his issues with writing are not in formulating his thoughts - it's purely and simply that he hates the physical act of writing. It is really painstaking for him. the material is not over his head at all - he really likes it (although he wishes we were studying space instead of animals!!!) Science is HUGE for him!!! So that's why I cut down on the # of questions he has to answer for Science. He's at 2 right now - after around week 9 I'll move him up to 3, then 4, etc. It's just putting pencil to paper - we're doing a lot more of that this year, and he doesn't enjoy it.

I think he also doesn't like the fact that there's so much independent work. I have created a chart that I give the kids each week with their independent work, so they can work on it while I school their sister, and he doesn't seem to like that - he mentioned it specifically last night. I think it's a maturity thing - he still prefers that I am sitting right by him, telling him what to do and that he can do it! Again, it's not that he gives me any trouble, he's a really good boy. I can just tell that these changes are causing him anxiety. That's where it's difficult - is this just a big adjustment for him, or is he just not ready for it? I really believe he can do the work. So this is where I"m praying for wisdom. Once again, I really appreciate people taking time to give me their thoughtful input! I'm also going to look at those threads on half-speed.

[tbarr12]

My sweet dh gave me permission to order Bigger last night for ds, if I think that's what's best. I'm leaning in that direction. As I've prayed for wisdom and clarity on this issue, I've seen that the 2 hardest things for him are: the amt. of writing required, and the level of independence required. He even has told me those things himself, without any prompting from me. What I've realized is that it's not an issue of attitude or intelligence, just one of maturity (he's on the young side of 9). It is causing him so much stress - it's written all over his face. And it's causing lots of tension in our homeschool.

I've considered doing the bigger extensions with oldest dd, 11, but I think she needs the challenge of Preparing. She is ready to be challenged, and is doing fine with Preparing - finishing all her work with no problem. So I'm leaning towards sticking with that for her. It will be a challenge at first, doing 3, but I think I can do it - I've seen how smoothly things start to flow after a few weeks.

So, I'm going to sit on it a little while longer, but then most likely order Bigger later today.

[John'smom]

Just wanted to let you know I'm praying for perfect clarity for you today. I also wanted to say I can tell you're a good mother. You're being sensitive to your ds' stress level and are trying to do the right thing even if that means you put more workload upon yourself. Praying for you.

[tbarr12]

Edwena - your note was so sweet, it almost made me cry, because I often don't feel like a good mom, as his stress in school has often caused me to react to him with frustration, instead of gentleness!

I have to confess, I'm still not sure about switching to Bigger. I'm really going to go over that placement chart again. If I honestly feel he places better in Preparing, I'm either going to adjust the way I do Preparing with him, or do it half-speed with him. These are just my thoughts as we started school this morning. I need to be sure before I buy yet my 4th HOD curriculum for this year! As I said before, I'm sure his issues are not attitude or intelligence, but maturity. Now I just need to figure out if I need to adjust Preparing to better fit him, without changing too much, or go down to Bigger. But I'm going to be sure before I spend more money! Thanks again - it was so sweet.

[my3sons]

Tracey - I'm thinking with your 11 yo doing PHFHG, you could have your 11 yo read the history box on her own instead of doing it as a read-aloud, and then just be sure to do the follow-ups with her (which take about 5 min.). That would leave you time to instead do your ds's Bigger Hearts history reading instead, not really adding to your day that way. Also, I would just do 1 Storytime with the 2 of them, either PHFHG's or BHFHG's. If you choose to do BHFHG's Storytime, you could also have your 11 yo dd do her own PHFHG Storytime readings and just do the follow-ups with her (which took us 2-5 minutes). This again, would not really add more time to your day then. As far as science, that's independent in PHFHG - has he done well with reading it? If so, I'd have your ds read his own science for BHFHG, and again just be very sure you do the 5 minute follow-up with him. While he's reading that, you could knock out something from PHFHG with dd. I'm sure he's already been doing dictation, DITHOR, and R & S - so that will be the same. So, that will leave you with the rotating box for history, poetry box, corresponding music, and BIble study (and cursive if he's doing that or needing that) - that's maybe an hour, which I think you'd find he'd be able to do the work much more quickly than he'd been doing with PHFHG, and with your dd doing parts of PHFHG more independently, you'd have about that much time freed up anyway. I'm basing this advice on CM's thought that once dc are about 9 yo, they should be reading the bulk of their books themselves. Those are just a few ideas I had, but prayer will get you the best answers!

In Christ,
Julie

[Tree House Academy]

I am in prayer for you as you make the decision for your son. I know how hard it can be when you feel like you need to do something for them, but just aren't sure what.

My son is on they younger end for the guides (starting in Little Hearts when he was 5, turning 6 at the end of Sept), so he will actually be 8 turning 9 when we start Preparing too. I am interested to keep you with your sweet ds's progress because of this.

[tbarr12]

Again, I appreciate everyone's input and prayers. I made a tiny bit of progress with him yesterday. I think one thing that panics him is when I give him the independent assignments, and then just leave (maybe to go upstairs to do something in the kitchen, maybe to school dd 6). Anyway, I sat with him while he did his vocabulary lesson, as he is not strong in dictionary skills yet. I think that helped to lessen his stress a little. It struck me that maybe I just need to work with him more to train him in these independent skills, whereas dd 11 was READY! So I'm still not convinced I should move down to Bigger with him. Perhaps it's just a matter of bringing him along. Anyway, I'm still working through this process on these boards. I'm sure at some point it will be clear to me what I need to do - I just need to go through the process.

[Carrie]

Tracey,

Thanks so much for sharing an update as you ponder your options. I agree with you that it would be a good idea to give it some time (typically 4 weeks is a good trial period) to see if your sweet son can grow into the skills needed in Preparing Hearts. In order to help give him every opportunity to succeed, I agree that you should do as much hand-holding as needed for him to feel he can do it. Sit by him during the independent things, ready to help and guide. Think of it as a training period just for him.

I'm thinking from what you've shared recently that he may still grow into what is needed to do Preparing Hearts, but he may do it in baby steps. While you certainly don't want to pull him along all year, it is reasonable to expect a child on the younger age range of the guide to need more training and help in the early stages. If he's truly able to do what you're asking, the training will go a long way. If he's still really struggling after a month, I'd assess again.

Blessings,
Carrie

[tbarr12]

Carrie - thanks so much for your thoughts! What you said is pretty much what I've been thinking this week. It struck me yesterday that I'd never really given him good training in how to use a dictionary, to expect him to the vocab. all alone was too much! It also struck me that training him is okay - it's not a question of whether he is at this point the very first week we begin the curriculum, but whether he is at some point (hopefully more toward the middle than the end). These were revelations to me, and I really feel were given to me by the Lord as I've prayed for wisdom. Whew! This has been a learning experience for me, too! My oldest daughter is only technically one grade ahead of him, but really almost 2 years, and I think I just forget what a difference in maturity there is between the two of them. In addition, he's so cooperative - he does everything he's told, but the stress shows in his face and often his tears! I am happy to say that we've had no tears from him in 2 days, and that IS progress! He does seem a little less stressed, so I think he may be beginning to adjust to the work. I also think since I've begun to demonstrate to him that I'll help him wherever he needs it, instead of just throwing the work at him and leaving, that he may feel more secure. Also, I don't think it hurts that daddy set up a new trampoline right outside the schoolroom door, so whenever they take a break, they head out and jump off their energy!!! So I am feeling a little encouraged, and like there's hope for this curriculum to still work out for him.

Thanks again SO MUCH for everyone's input and prayers! I feel so cared about by a group of women who don't even know me!