1 thing took 1 hour off our PHFHG day

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my3sons
Posts: 10702
Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2007 7:08 pm
Location: South Dakota

Re: 1 thing took 1 hour off our PHFHG day

Post by my3sons » Sat Oct 15, 2011 9:53 am

mom23 wrote:Does anyone have problems with a dc who will just ignore the timer-daydreaming or doodling their time away until it goes off and they only have 2 math problems done with a whole margin filled with artwork, and lots of minutes spent in whining that they cannot do it? It's really not too hard-I kept backing her up to "easier" stuff as this year started to hopefully find something that she could get her feet under her and begin to move forward. She's now a 4th grader doing 2nd grade level math-the same stuff that she flew through at the beginning of last year. My husband has said not to move her back anymore. He's given her plenty of "principal" talks lately, and she's still giving me fits. We finally took the rest of this week off from schoolwork because we were all so burned out and frustrated with eachother, but now I'm dreading Monday...Any thoughts?
Hugs to ya mom23! I liked the ideas shared by holdinon already, so that may be good to try. I am wondering - would you say it is just mainly math? I really do think that some dc just need more direction and more constant monitoring. For math, I can't set the timer and walk away for one of my dc either. We just do my teaching part (the textbook) together, and then for his part (the workbook), I stay seated next to him, often working with my youngest ds on something like a puzzle or some coloring, and keep checking on his math work as he goes. If he is staring at his math paper and not making progress with a problem, I immediately talk through it with him. I find the same to be true with grammar with him. I do my teaching parts, and whatever I assigned him to do independently, I sit near him and work with my youngest again on something like his LHTH art project, and anytime I see pausing and no progress with the grammar, I help move him along. :D

Your dd sounds creative, as she likes to doodle and draw. My ds that is more distracted is this way as well. This need to draw and create is being filled beautifully for him with PHFHG "Draw and Write Through History", the notebooking assignments, and many of the history projects. He even loves drawing for the vocabulary cards, the timeline, and his procedures of his science labs. Maybe your dd can begin to look at times such as these in her day as her time to be creative and to draw? Sometimes as long as my dc know there are plans within the day that they will be coming to that will be "their thing" they especially love to do, they are content not to try to do "their thing" during the rest of the day when they shouldn't be doing it. :D (And if not, then discipline kicks in). :wink:

I am also wondering if she is a child that needs some breaks in her day? My oldest wants no breaks - but I still think it's healthy for him to have 1 break in the middle of his school day, and I like him to play with his youngest brother, so he still has one. My middle ds used to need more breaks. He did better actually starting his day by playing, and then starting school later. He then had another lengthy break in the middle, and one more before he was totally done. This used to work well for him. This year he has fewer breaks and is doing fine. Maybe it would help to give dd some blocks of work time, and some blocks of free time? You could try alternating work time and free time and see how that goes. :D

If the doodling is really a concern and happens often, perhaps you could just plan for three 15 min. breaks at some point in her day, and when you see her doodling instead of doing her math, you could say, "I see you are doodling, so we'll have you take 1 of your 3 fifteen minute breaks right now. I'll set the timer, and you can doodle here for 15 minutes, then we'll resume math." :D

One other thing I wondered about was whether she is a morning person or not? This is a good thing to figure out about dc I am finding. My youngest ds was set to do his phonics with me last thing of the day. Big mistake. Poor little guy was shot, and phonics was too. :lol: I just moved him to doing it first thing in the day with me, and it's improved his phonics incredibly. :D The funny thing is last year he absolutely needed to PLAY first in his day. Trying to do his school with him first thing last year did not work, and I remembered needing to move his school later in the day last year, which is why I started THIS year with it later in the day. Who knew the difference a year might make?!? So, I guess what I am trying to say is that what worked last year might not work this year.

I think I'd try out a few things, reflect on what you find out, and then make a few changes. I also think I'd resign myself to working right by dd's side for awhile, and training, training, training. Adding some specific rewards and consequences may be good to do too. I have had to do this, and it works better if I figured out what I'd do for a consequence or reward BEFORE we're in the middle of it. My temper can flare otherwise, and I can throw out consequences we both know I won't enforce. :oops: I hope something here helps, but keep on persevering. I know you personally, having had the pleasure of meeting you face to face at a book fair, and I am 100% confident in your abilities to continue to work through this, love your child through it, and get to the bottom of it. You are such a capable young lady - full of encouragement and joy for the Lord - she'll come around, she's in good company. :D

In Christ,
Julie
Enjoyed LHTH to USII
Currently using USI
Wife to Rich for 28 years
Mother to 3 sons, ages 23, 20, and 16
Sister to Carrie

mom23
Posts: 532
Joined: Thu Apr 08, 2010 10:10 am

Re: 1 thing took 1 hour off our PHFHG day

Post by mom23 » Sat Oct 15, 2011 5:23 pm

holdinon wrote: Setting a timer always worked great for most of my kiddos. They will glance at it occasionally and keep up with where they stand. HOWEVER, my oldest is my highly distractable dd. What worked well for her was two timers. One for the main time and one for intervals. It sounds complicated, but it really wasn't. And we only had to do this for a few weeks to see vast improvement. If an assignment was to take 20 minutes, I would set the "real" timer for 20 minutes. We would set the "other" timer for 7 minutes. At the end of 7 minutes, the one timer would go off and alarm her to the fact that she was not staying focused. She simply hit the reset button on that timer and got back to work. (It would automatically reset itself for another 7 minutes). And the process was repeated. It worked very well for several weeks. When the "interval" timer started interrupting her working (rather than her daydreaming), we knew it was time to do away with it. She is still a daydreamer, highly distractable little gal, but she has developed the self-discipline to reign it in at least enough to accomplish her tasks in a fairly reasonable amount of time.
Thank you! will definitely give it a try; have also been reading up on older posts dealing with teaching time management/character/attitude training so I've got some new courage to face Monday. :)
my3sons wrote:Hugs to ya mom23! I liked the ideas shared by holdinon already, so that may be good to try. I am wondering - would you say it is just mainly math? I really do think that some dc just need more direction and more constant monitoring. For math, I can't set the timer and walk away for one of my dc either. We just do my teaching part (the textbook) together, and then for his part (the workbook), I stay seated next to him, often working with my youngest ds on something like a puzzle or some coloring, and keep checking on his math work as he goes. If he is staring at his math paper and not making progress with a problem, I immediately talk through it with him. I find the same to be true with grammar with him. I do my teaching parts, and whatever I assigned him to do independently, I sit near him and work with my youngest again on something like his LHTH art project, and anytime I see pausing and no progress with the grammar, I help move him along.

Your dd sounds creative, as she likes to doodle and draw. My ds that is more distracted is this way as well. This need to draw and create is being filled beautifully for him with PHFHG "Draw and Write Through History", the notebooking assignments, and many of the history projects. He even loves drawing for the vocabulary cards, the timeline, and his procedures of his science labs. Maybe your dd can begin to look at times such as these in her day as her time to be creative and to draw? Sometimes as long as my dc know there are plans within the day that they will be coming to that will be "their thing" they especially love to do, they are content not to try to do "their thing" during the rest of the day when they shouldn't be doing it. (And if not, then discipline kicks in).

I am also wondering if she is a child that needs some breaks in her day? My oldest wants no breaks - but I still think it's healthy for him to have 1 break in the middle of his school day, and I like him to play with his youngest brother, so he still has one. My middle ds used to need more breaks. He did better actually starting his day by playing, and then starting school later. He then had another lengthy break in the middle, and one more before he was totally done. This used to work well for him. This year he has fewer breaks and is doing fine. Maybe it would help to give dd some blocks of work time, and some blocks of free time? You could try alternating work time and free time and see how that goes.

If the doodling is really a concern and happens often, perhaps you could just plan for three 15 min. breaks at some point in her day, and when you see her doodling instead of doing her math, you could say, "I see you are doodling, so we'll have you take 1 of your 3 fifteen minute breaks right now. I'll set the timer, and you can doodle here for 15 minutes, then we'll resume math."

One other thing I wondered about was whether she is a morning person or not? This is a good thing to figure out about dc I am finding. My youngest ds was set to do his phonics with me last thing of the day. Big mistake. Poor little guy was shot, and phonics was too. I just moved him to doing it first thing in the day with me, and it's improved his phonics incredibly. The funny thing is last year he absolutely needed to PLAY first in his day. Trying to do his school with him first thing last year did not work, and I remembered needing to move his school later in the day last year, which is why I started THIS year with it later in the day. Who knew the difference a year might make?!? So, I guess what I am trying to say is that what worked last year might not work this year.

I think I'd try out a few things, reflect on what you find out, and then make a few changes. I also think I'd resign myself to working right by dd's side for awhile, and training, training, training. Adding some specific rewards and consequences may be good to do too. I have had to do this, and it works better if I figured out what I'd do for a consequence or reward BEFORE we're in the middle of it. My temper can flare otherwise, and I can throw out consequences we both know I won't enforce. I hope something here helps, but keep on persevering. I know you personally, having had the pleasure of meeting you face to face at a book fair, and I am 100% confident in your abilities to continue to work through this, love your child through it, and get to the bottom of it. You are such a capable young lady - full of encouragement and joy for the Lord - she'll come around, she's in good company.


Thanks for your help as well, Julie! Sadly, I think you have me confused with someone else you met, although I'd love to meet you someday-in heaven if not before!! You've given me many great things to think on here. Yes, it's mainly math that is proving to be a struggle, although there's also some struggle with Bible as well-she just doesn't like to do the deeper thinking required there yet. I've honestly been trying to find a way around having to being right there with her to keep on task. This has been something I've tried to find a way around because my boys are in Little Hands and Little Hearts and both need Mom for everything, it's hard for me to find the mental energy to do everything with my oldest as well. We've been trying to have my ds7 and dd9 both at the table so I can do Little Hearts while I keep checking in on dd with Bigger, problems just come when she's so easily distracted by what her brother and I are doing...I might need to just resign myself to the fact that it's not working and pray for the energy to go through each program one at a time so she has the full attention she might be needing... :? Unfortunately training takes that time and focus, huh?! :oops: As I think back to last year when she was doing very well with math, she was normally separated from us working in a different area. Maybe I could take a week or two do go through each thing with her (I could find energy for 3 extra hrs. of school if I knew it was temporary) and train her with focus and time management, and then move her to her own space after that with scheduled checkpoints/interval timer, and rewards if she's working diligently. I think I'll do some more praying and see if we can schedule in some breaks for her, as well as a talk about her time to do "her thing" with history or science notebooking, and not during math.

We've not yet been able to find the best time of day for our schooling this year. I think the kids are sharper in the morning, but that's when dh is home. He leaves for work at noon and we have fewer distractions when Daddy's not there to play with, or need my help with something :wink:
Becky, married to my preacher-man and raising:
DD 12-7th grade public school
DS 10-Preparing
DS 8-Beyond
DS 3-Just doin' his thing

my3sons
Posts: 10702
Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2007 7:08 pm
Location: South Dakota

Re: 1 thing took 1 hour off our PHFHG day

Post by my3sons » Tue Oct 18, 2011 1:48 pm

So sorry I mistook you for someone else :oops: - I think the lady I met had a board name very similar to yours (i.e. momtothree). But, I'd love to meet you someday too! :D I hope you are getting a chance to try out some things and that you are seeing some fruits! :D

In Christ,
Julie
Enjoyed LHTH to USII
Currently using USI
Wife to Rich for 28 years
Mother to 3 sons, ages 23, 20, and 16
Sister to Carrie

water2wine
Posts: 2743
Joined: Mon Nov 26, 2007 7:24 pm
Location: GA

Re: 1 thing took 1 hour off our PHFHG day

Post by water2wine » Tue Oct 18, 2011 3:25 pm

Oh my gosh I use one too for my one child that will take all day to do one thing if you let her. It is a miracle what a timer will do. :P Makes me remember to check progress too. I have one of those cooking timers with three timers on it and it is very handy. :D
All your children shall be taught by the LORD, and great shall be the peace of your children. Isaiah 54:13
~Six lovies from God~4 by blessing of adoption
-MTMM (HS), Rev to Rev, CTC, DITHR
We LOVED LHFHG/Beyond/Bigger/Preparing/CTC/RTR/Rev to Rev (HS)

Carrie
Site Admin
Posts: 8128
Joined: Wed Aug 15, 2007 8:39 pm

Re: 1 thing took 1 hour off our PHFHG day

Post by Carrie » Thu Oct 20, 2011 4:08 pm

What a terrific thread! Thank you so much for helping and encouraging one another. :D This journey is not easy, and together we are better!

Blessings,
Carrie

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