Childhood Friendships?

MommyInTraining · Post by **MommyInTraining** » Fri May 23, 2008 8:28 am

I think my daughter is longing for a girl her own age to play with and I am not sure how to address it. She says she wants a big girl to play with. Sometimes I wish we could just adopt another 9 year girl for her

Do you have any ideas/suggestions?

Thanks so much!

mom2boys030507 · Post by **mom2boys030507** » Fri May 23, 2008 8:49 am

I am in the process of finding other homeschool families with kids the same age as my boys. I have one friend who also homeschools. Although she is quite busy as she has had her younger 2 in preschool this year.

Here is what I am doing. I invited my friend and a friend of hers over for a playdate. Next month I am having the playdate at a park and put out an invite on a yahoo group for MN Christian Homeschoolers. I am also trying to let others know that I would like to meet as many homeschool families as I can. I am really working hard to connect with families close to home as most groups I have found meet at least 30 min from my house and with gas prices that is tough to do.

I hope this will give you an idea of how to connect with others. I am just really starting on this process. In the fall we are also planning on being a part of the YMCA's homeschool gym and swim program.

Karen

crlacey · Post by **crlacey** » Fri May 23, 2008 9:23 am

I don't have any advice because I'm right there with you. My DD is dying to have a girl friend. So far, we can only find more boys that go to school. So if you find something that works, let me know! Good luck in your search.

Jessi · Post by **Jessi** » Fri May 23, 2008 12:49 pm

Is the trouble that there are just NO girls her age where you live, or is it that everyone she knows is in public school and busy through the evenings?

If it is the former...I really don't know what to tell you. Perhaps encourage her to get a pen pal. I know she can't play with the person, but I have heard of pen pals that are still close as adults. It would give her someone to share with and to send little gifts and receive gifts as well. Not to mention a great geography lesson.

If it is the latter, then it is time to get proactive. At least once a week, invite girls over her age. Perhaps you can start out doing simple activities such as tea parties for young ladies, spa party night (where all the girls get to soak their feet and pain their toes) a baking party, etc....

As they get closer, you won't have to plan activities for them to do and they'll naturally do things together. But to make parents comfortable, you might want to make it Mommy/Daughter play dates. Then everyone gets to know everyone.

Just my two cents...HTH!! Of course I am the planner for all activities with our friends, so this comes naturally to me.

netpea · Post by **netpea** » Fri May 23, 2008 2:43 pm

I hear you. Through our homeschool activities we've found friends for my daughter, but none for my son. Since he doesn't go to school, he doesn't know any of the children living in the big sub behind our house. I am still trying.

Have you searched the internet for homeschool groups anywhere near you? What about church youth groups or friends from sunday school? That's where we found friends for my daughter.

water2wine · Post by **water2wine** » Fri May 23, 2008 3:42 pm

Yes I have a suggestion...go ahead and adopt the 9 year old girl.

Seriously we adopted best friends of the same age and they are still best friends and I believe will be all their life.

But if that is not an option

I think the other ladies have some great ideas. What about maybe joining a Keepers of the Faith club in your area or something like that as a possible place to find a friend. And BTW we have this same issue for our son. He has a couple of friends but I wish for him he had a very close friend. Poor guy likes playing with girls better though. He's very boyish but they laugh at his jokes.

dolphingirl · Post by **dolphingirl** » Fri May 23, 2008 6:41 pm

If your daughter knows girls her age who attend school (and are girls that would make quality friends), perhaps find out when their school has days off or early-release days and be proactive in arranging playdates for her. This has helped us in maintaining my son's friendships with his friends who go to school.
As for homeschool friends, up until this year, my son really only had one homeschool friend. Fortunately, his mom and I met each other when our boys were only 3 yo at the library, talked about how we both planned to homeschool, and have kept our friendship and our son's friendships going. So we've always had that built-in homeschool playmate. There were lots of boys my son's age in our homeschool group, but other than a couple events each year, there really weren't enough chances to see kids enough to really become "friends." Thankfully, though, that has really changed this year! Moms in our area's homeschool support group have really taken the initiative this year to plan park dates, classes in which moms who have a particular interest (such as music) teach a class and invite other homeschoolers, bowling/ice skating outings, etc. Now the families and kids are really starting to get to know one another and form bonds of friendship. It's great to see! So I guess my suggestion would be to find out if there's any sort of homeschool group in your area. Look online to see if you can find something, ask the librarians at your library if other homeschoolers come in, etc. Unless you live in a very remote area, there most likely is a support group. Check out 4-H too. There is a huge club in our town that consists of mostly homeschooled kids. Once you've found a group, see if moms are interested in park dates, or organize a field trip to a local airport/factory/museum. If you have a bowling alley, ice rink, or roller rink nearby, find out if they will give homeschoolers discounted admission on a weekday and then have a bowling outing the first Monday of each month or something like that. The key that we have found for homeschoolers forming friendships is to get other moms enthused about getting the kids to meet others. If there's just a random activity here and there, it's likely the kids won't get to know each other well enough to form friendships. But if they consistently see one another because moms are making the effort to get them together, friendships will start to form. (I don't want to make it sound like we're constantly dashing off to one activity or another, because we are selective.) We just found that while before there were hardly any opportunities for homeschool kids to be together, once one mom got the ball rolling, others joined in with planning things, until eventually now there's quite a variety for families to pick and choose from and the kids anticipate being together.

Motherjoy · Post by **Motherjoy** » Fri May 23, 2008 9:10 pm

I don't go spend too much effort arranging friendships for my children.

Honestly, its not as important as tv shows and most parents make it. Teach her to be happy for the built in friends that God has given her, her siblings and parents. Then pray that God would bring like-minded folks into your life that could befriend your whole family.