Quiet time for an 8yo

[MomtoJGJE]

This is totally off topic, but I need some advice.

I have one child who is an extreme introvert. She's also very dramatic. We have been having trouble with physical fighting between the four older girls, and most of it involves the 8yo. I think we have at least found something that will keep them from fighting TODAY, but we have also decided that Grace needs a quiet time.

The trouble is, basically whatever we tell her to do during the quiet time will end up with fighting and whining "But I dont WANT to xyz!!"

I know we'll have her spend the quiet time either in her bed (their special place that is JUST THEIRS!) or outside when it gets warmer. But I don't know what to have as options for her to do. I could have her read a Bible verse, or read a book... but she totally doesn't like that, especially after school.

Do you think an 8yo would like to journal during a quiet time that is to help her calm down and breathe? I've explained that Mommy is the same way and I take a bath every day for my quiet time. And that's why I get so frustrated when they keep coming in some days to ask or tell me things. Because none of the other kids need it. Or rather, when they need space, they go and find space. And my other introverts are fine with family. Family doesn't wear them down. Penelope is going to be an extreme introvert like Grace and me, but she's not even three months old yet she takes her quiet time!

Basically, I don't really want her to do anything, at least right now, that involves deep thought or intense concentration. I don't want screens involved. And I don't want school or church work to be involved. I want it to be a calming time that lets her take deep breaths and recharge.

Any ideas?

[Kristen]

What if she takes a bath, like mommy does?

Kristen

[Gwenny]

What about stories on CD, does she knit or crochet or hand sew or cross stitch, something with her hands? What about paper dolls? stringing beads for little bracelets? Just a couple things off the top of my head..

[alydar]

Drawing/sketching/doodling? I can totally relate. I'm very much an introvert and NEED to get away sometime in my day so that I can continue to function. I don't do this now (so wish I could) but when I was younger I spent many hours drawing and doodling. It was quiet and peaceful and also offered an outlet. Just a thought.

[MomtoJGJE]

I gave her a notebook to use as a journal and told her she could write or draw or whatever it in, one page per day. I think I"m just going to give her time in her room, and she can do whatever as long as it's in her room. It's not going to be an extended time... just enough to let her breathe. Maybe 15-20 minutes to start with. I could see her easily becoming a recluse so I have to limit her alone time as well as making sure she gets it! A fine line, haha.

She does not like baths right now, so that's why that isn't an option.

[my3sons]

Books on tape are great! Bubble baths with a book to be read are fun (a book you don't care so much if it drops in the water ). Or, perler beads - one of our sons loved (and still loves) those. Latchhooking, erector sets (I know, more for boys though), simply reading in bed with calming music on like classical music (or Bible praise songs for our ds that likes happy praise music ), color by number books, dot-to-dots, etch-books where they scratch off the black with a wooden pointed dowel to reveal colors underneath are inexpensive and fun, wedgit building cards/Knex/Legos and step-by-step building directions if she's a builder, origami folding paper sets - those are a few of the ideas we've used for Quiet Times over the years that have been successful. Hope something here helps!

In Christ,
Julie

[MomtoJGJE]

Ooh.. Thank you for all those ideas! I can't do music because then it wouldn't be quiet time the girl loves her some singing!

No I'm just kidding... she got a guitar for her birthday. I'm thinking quiet time might be a great time for her to work on her chords!

[my3sons]

... I'm thinking quiet time might be a great time for her to work on her chords!

Great idea!!! I bet she would love that!

[lissiejo]

My 7 year old still does a quiet time and I intend to keep that for a long time She has 2 sisters and they all need time apart. She either reads a book of her choice, does a craft (like loom knitting, crochet, or pot holders, etc.) and usually listens to Adventures in Odyssey or Radio Theater from Focus on the Family. I would ask her what she wants to do during her quiet time. There is a need for independence at this age and freedom to choose might really help.

[MomtoJGJE]

If I ask her what she wants to do she'll drop to the floor and whine "I don't KNOW" Even if it's no where near time to do the quiet time.

Unfortunately today her quiet time consisted of sitting in her bed until she could write 50 kind things about Jayden But it still served the purpose of giving her a break.

[lissiejo]

If I ask her what she wants to do she'll drop to the floor and whine "I don't KNOW" Even if it's no where near time to do the quiet time.

Unfortunately today her quiet time consisted of sitting in her bed until she could write 50 kind things about Jayden But it still served the purpose of giving her a break.

Stick to it My daughter can be like that about other things. When she does that kind of stuff to me I tell her, "You're making this worse on yourself. I will win, and you will not. You can do it the easy way or the hard way." It may take days...more than likely a week or two, but eventually with consistency she cuts it out. I make sure she knows it isn't a punishment for her, but just what I think is best for her and all of us as a family. Hope it goes more smoothly for you both. I know how hard it can be.