Older child falling behind younger sibling

[TammyTE]

My 8yo son is a struggling reader. Well, actually, he is struggling with most everything. He is very hands on and has a great mechanical mind. He wins at most games that have to do with spacial awareness, strategy, shapes, puzzles...that sort of thing. But he still struggles sounding out the word CAT. He still enjoys learning and asks to read every day! But I do see that he is realizing that little sister (6yo) is passing him up. She passed him up in reading quite a while ago, and recently has passed him in our timed math drills.

When I look at the placement charts he fits in Beyond with everything except the reading/writing parts of it. He is mature enough for all the thinking just not the paperwork. I had them together with LHFHG last year but we took a break from HOD to get some things lined out. I am wanting to get back to HOD but am unsure where to place him. My 6yo dd would do fine finishing up LHFHG and probably be happy with it. I think she would also do fine with Beyond. I find more and more that *she* is helping *him* with things throughout the day. He will be looking through a book and trying to read to himself during quiet time and she will help him sound something out. Thankfully she is super sweet about it and doesn't rub it in.

I have him in a different phonics program so that he wouldn't notice she was so far ahead. I'm tempted to have him in different stuff across the board but I really think HOD would be good for him. I could leave dd in the workbook program I have had her doing and just let her listen in on his stuff but I think she would want to do what he was doing so why not let her? Sigh.....What would you do in a situation like this?

[psreit]

I don't think you should keep your dd from doing HOD for that reason. If you did LHFHG with your ds last year and he fits into Beyond, I would put him there. Let your dd finish LHFHG. That will give them some separate work. When it comes to the reading, just try to help your ds understand that God has given each one their own special abilities. Point out his strengths and abilities and dwell on those. I know reading is a MAJOR part of learning, so this is easier said than done. As long as your dd continues to be gracious about it, help your ds be thankful for such a loving sister.

I have a dd(23) who had spina bifida at birth. My 9yo had mild CP, including problems with her eyes. Her reading is taking time and Math is a very tough area for her. While others her age are doing multiplication, she is still on basic addition and subtraction. She has a cousin her age that has been reading very well since she started school. They spend a good deal of time together. Sometimes they play school and her cousin will do the reading. Angie pretends she is reading sometimes. But, I don't believe I have ever heard her once say anything unkind or be upset because her cousin can read well and she can't. I did mention something to her SS teacher when she moved to the next class, because I know she calls on them to read. That would be more intimidating. I think that seeing there are people a lot worse off then they are, helps them be more accepting of their weaknesses. I will admit that it bothers them sometimes that they can't do some things that others can do, but overall, they have a good attitude and both are very sociable girls. Relationships are very important.

So, while I think it will not hurt for your dd to help with a sweet spirit, maybe you could find something your ds does well that he could 'teach' your dd. The heart attitude is where you need to focus. If your dd would start 'rubbing it in' or if your son begins to show jealousy or resentment, then you need to deal with a spiritual matter. Try to avoid putting extra attention on the situation. If your ds knows it is bothering you, it may cause him to feel sorry for himself or like I said earlier, cause resentment toward his sister. Just teach him where he needs to be taught and treat it like an ordinary day.

Now, I admit that we had our problems with attitude and jealousy at times. I still have my moments of impatience. There are still areas we are all working on. We learn from our mistakes, so I hope that something I said will help. My goal is to raise my dc to love and serve the Lord with their whole heart, no matter how well they do academically. In the end, that is all that counts.

[TammyTE]

Thank you Pam. No neither one finished LHFHG. We switched to other things for that time. I agree that dd should do HOD, I guess I was just thinking out loud. I could put her in LHFHG and ds in Beyond but that would have me doing 3 levels plus my preschooler. As much as I want to do what is best for them I know myself. If I get them into 3 different levels then I'm not sure how much would get done. It would end up being more sporadic. That is part of the reason why we switched things earlier. (Not all, but part of it for sure.)

[TammyTE]

Hmmmm

The more I think about it. Maybe I *should* let my 6yo dd finish LHFHG or at least just work the rest of this year on it. I could get ds started with Beyond and he could work at his own pace and not be rushed by dd. Even if he is moving slower in math and reading he would still be progressing in Beyond enough that he would stay ahead of her in *something*.

Sigh....I just don't know if I can do 3 guides plus my prek and toddler. I am not at all organized by nature.

[psreit]

If you can manage it, I think that would be a good plan. there are many on this board who use more than two guides. Maybe they can help you get organized. I would have the same problem if I was in that situation. I'm not an organized person either. But, I definitely think giving your ds his own guide would be good. Maybe some others will offer advice.

[TammyTE]

Thanks Pam. I appreciate your insight. Honestly it might not be that much more work for me. I mean, I will have a bit more in preparation but actually doing it with them might go a bit smoother if they are separate from each other. Gotta think some more on it.

[my3sons]

I am really excited for this placement for you, for your dd, and especially for your ds! I want to encourage you that doing LHFHG and Beyond at the same time would not be difficult. I also think you would find ds would soar with his own thing, and dd could do her own thing. I think it would be better. This is something that could really affect ds's self-esteem eventually. I think it may be a good idea to stop the timed math tests or to do them completely at separate times so there is less comparison. Likewise, I'd have a heart to heart with dd that although she truly is trying to be helpful, and I am sure she really is doing it with a sweet spirit, it would be better to let ds learn to work out words in reading on his own. This will help him gain confidence, and it will keep their relationship close. Psreit had some truly excellent thoughts to ponder - such wisdom there. I think I'd start LHFHG with dd and Beyond with ds tomorrow, and get to enjoying your homeschooling days with HOD's help! We do 3 guides. It's not hard, and everyone is truly happy - me too. I have full confidence you would enjoy it too!

In Christ,
Julie

[TammyTE]

Thank you Julie. Yes, I think everything you said is right on target. I just finished switching around my living room and school room so that the school area and play area were separate. After 3 days (yes 3 days! LOL) I think I have it all organized.

Now if only I had just one more bookshelf...

[pjdobro]

Thank you Julie. Yes, I think everything you said is right on target. I just finished switching around my living room and school room so that the school area and play area were separate. After 3 days (yes 3 days! LOL) I think I have it all organized.

Now if only I had just one more bookshelf...

I had to chuckle at this. I'm always thinking that if I just had another bookshelf or two, I'd be set. In reality I could probably never have enough bookshelves to satisfy my love of books. I was just thinking today if I had one of those home makeover shows come to my house to do a remodel, a huge library with bookshelves on all the walls from floor to ceiling would be on my wish list.

[my3sons]

...Now if only I had just one more bookshelf...

This may very well be one of the most commonly said things by homeschool mamas! Me included! We have an old basement that I have lined the walls with particle board bookshelves from Walmart. It works, but I do still find myself saying...Now, if only I had just one more bookshelf!

In Christ,
Julie