Using HOD with child who has developmental delay

[inHistiming]

Hello, all. We have just learned that our 19-month-old has a developmental delay in her communication ability as well as adaptive ability (which involves feeding herself, dressing herself, etc.). She also failed the M-CHAT, which is a screening checklist for toddlers regarding risks for autism. The evaluators did say they are not concerned about that. They believe that she will improve and pass the next one that we will do at age 2. However, it still weighs heavily on my mind.

We are currently using Beyond....with my 8 yo and may get back to HOD with my 7th grader in the fall. My 'plan' has always been to get back to HOD for sure once my two youngest (19 months apart) were ready, and to combine them. Now, I'm wondering if that will be possible. I do realize this is still a ways down the road for us and we don't know what things will be like in a year or two, but I know there are several of you who have used or are using this program with special needs children, so I guess I'm just looking for recommendations, encouragement, any supportive words from those who have been or are currently traveling down this road.

[water2wine]

Hey there! Good to see you. You are going to be fine. This time of waiting to see how serious learning and developmental issues will be is hard. And when they are toddlers it is harder. The best advice I could give you is wait until your baby is 4-5 to worry about how she will fall into HOD. Truly that is where you can kind of know where they physical and mental delays will be. There is a lot of going back and forth and sort of holding your breath in between that time. Try if you can to give it up to God and not worry heavily about their guesses on how your child will do. My dd that has CP went through the same kind of issues and I really remember 4-5 being the magic time when I could kind of see where she would be physically and some intellectually. Even then you will see great changes a few years out.

Best advice I could give you is plan on homeschooling for sure. Do not fall for the claims that the experts can do it better. Get as much help in terms of OT,PT, and ST as she is growing and be very diligent in that. And when she is ready then decide where she will place. Where you are at is a very nerve wracking place of not knowing where your child will be with delays etc. It's be hard even with a toddler that was not struggling to project that far in advance. In your case I really think it is not possible. But I want to encourage you that you can do this no matter where your child lands and HOD really is a great program for working with kids that have learning and developmental delays because you are able to completely meet them at their level. That ends up really being huge.

Saying a prayer for you! I know how hard this stage can be. God has a perfect plan for your hsing when you get there. And yes absolutely you can do it!!!!

[LynnH]

I agree with everything that water2wine said above. My ds also has CP, dysgraphia and short term memory issues. HOD has been a wonderful fit for him. He was in ps up through 5th grade and they didn't know how to meet his needs because he didn't fit into any of their categories. He was strong in some areas and struggled in others. He had a 2nd grade teacher that made him feel like a failure because he needed someone to scribe his writing for him. When I brought him home in 5th grade we started right off with HOD. I have been able to adjust things as needed for him very easily and he is thriving. There are many people that use HOD with kids with delays of some sort. It will work out fine. As a Pediatric Physical Therapist in my pre-homeschooling life I also agree that at this point just get any therapies that are recommended and just keep enjoying your kiddo and working towards goals.

[inHistiming]

Thanks, ladies. I know it's way too early to try to plan anything. I guess I was just letting myself worry, when really worrying isn't going to accomplish anything!

My daughter already has her first therapy session set up for June 1st, which is a lot quicker than I expected, so that's a great thing. I'm going to try to take it one day at a time and just work on improving her abilities in the areas that are weak. Thanks so much for your honesty and your positive comments. I truly appreciate it.

[mrsrandolph]

I am in your boat. My daughter, 9, is a whiz kid. My son, 8, has learning delays. He didn't walk until 22 months, etc.

That said, I have kept them in the same guide. They do separate math, reading, and spelling. His copy work is less than hers.

As far as HOD goes, when they would normally would have to copy something into their science notebook, I write his, and she writes her own.

In order to keep him from feeling too "different", I explain that the differences in their work are attributed to the fact that she is a year older than him, and more is expected.

YOU SIMPLY MUST get the book "A Walk In The Rain With A Brain" by Ed Halllowell. Every child with a special need should have this book read to them. Every parent with a child with ANY kind of delay NEEDS this book!! Every TEACHER NEEDS this book.

[inHistiming]

Thanks, Shannon. I feel silly that I even asked the question because it's so far off, but I was feeling overwhelmed and worrying. I'm glad that you, as well as the pp's, have found success. I'm going to take all the advice given here and work on what I can now. We will think about combining, or not, when the time comes!

[chillin'inandover]

InHistiming,
I will share a little of my journey to offer hope and encouragement. After questioning my dd skills for 3 years (birth-3years) she finally received a full evaluation and received services for speech & autism. The school district provided services for 2 years of preschool. We withdrew her from IEP this fall to provide services at home & to homeschool. She has changed so much from that initial eval. I did LHTH for 2 years using 2 different levels each year & not doing the academics until 1/2 way into prek age 5 until Kinder age 6 year. In K year about 1/2 way I added R half of LHFHG. DD finished LHTH so I added L half of LHFHG. Since I am in 2 locations in LHFHG I will catch up L half over summer vacation. It is light & fun stuff (Bible, art, Science, and History) and only takes 30-45 minutes. I also have her read her little readers (Itty Bitty Books) and speech homework per ST recommendations. This will keep dd sharp and allow for some catch up too!
Initially upon receiving the news of her disability I was a bit anxious but seeing her progress I now have hope. I was an OT for 13 years & provided therapy for adults with autism. It has taken courage to proceed but I have been strengthened for this journey by the Lord. Skills have steadily improved in so many areas. Press on! I pray for God's Blessings on your journey. It can be done! God equips.
Tammy

[MicheleW]

I have a slightly different question on this topic:

My DS (13 in Aug; going into 7th) has Autism (which includes mild MR and developmental delays) and a mood disorder (read frequent tantums every day). We have homeschooled since 3rd grade at which time he couldn't really read at all. He does go to the PS for one hour a day and work with a special ed reading instructor which has helped dramatically. He is probably reading at a 2-3rd grade level now, but he still reads VERY slowly so he still can't read chapter books. I read the HOD books aloud to him.

We started HOD two years ago and have used Bigger and Preparing. He does not do most of the writing assignments and only some of the history readings as his attention is not long enough. He does Abeka math (one year behind) and does fairly well with that actually. He also does R&S grammar and dictation and does well with that as well. I have a DD 2 years (1 grade) younger and I have been just placing her and letting him learn along-side her. This puts them both doing CTC next year.

I have always just let him listen in and get as much as he is able (which is maybe half--or less). I feel like this has been fine so far. He is picking up some history and some science. However, as he gets closer to high school I am starting to worry about just letting him learn with his younger sister. For one thing, he is not advancing as fast as she is, so their gap is getting bigger. Also, if I just slow down and let him stay in younger guides, how do I justify that as high school education? Instead of beefing up guides, I would be lowering them. I'm really not sure what the requirements are when you are teaching a special needs student at home. Anyone advice?

[Gwenny]

If he were in public school special ed, he would get a high school diploma just like everyone else. He is doing the work that he can do. I spoke recently with a high school special ed teacher and that is what she told me. Those students are not doing "high school work" because they can't. You are the parent and can decide what is the level he can do and can "graduate" him when you see fit.
I think sometimes we forget that there are children graduating from high school that don't even know how to read! (and it's not just a handful either). They can graduate and say they've "done" the classes because they put in their time at school. It doesn't mean they learned it.
What you are doing for your son is awesome and he will probably be ahead and know more and understand more than many children who get left behind in a school of a bunch of children.
Blessings.

[my3sons]

InHistiming - I know how this can weigh heavily on a mama's heart and mind! Wyatt, my oldest ds, was born about 8 weeks early, and we needed to help him learn to roll over, crawl, etc. Everything that came naturally to others seemed to need to be taught to him. I tried not to compare, but my niece was born on exactly the same day, within 2 hours of Wyatt, and every time we got together, it seemed she was miles ahead of him. Wyatt was nearly 2 yo and still hadn't spoken a clear word other than "mama". I remember longing to hear him say "daddy", as he was our first ds and I ached for my dh to hear that sweet word. He qualified for in home speech therapy, and this really helped him so much. I believe the Lord blessed me with Wyatt so I knew for certain I wanted to homeschool. My Wyatt began his life at just 4 pounds 5 ounces with so many health concerns and developmental issues. Today he is 12 yo and 5 foot 5 inches tall, wearing a size 9 men's shoes, and doing so well in homeschooling. Don't believe all you hear - with a lot of prayer, love, and attention, dc can soar far above projected outcomes. Just take it one day at a time - the Lord chose you for this - ordained you for it, and this little sweetie is going to knock your socks off - just wait and see! Pray, pray, pray, and the Lord will walk you through it step by step one day at a time - He still is for me.

Love in Christ,
Julie

[inHistiming]

Julie and Tammy,

Thank you so much for the wonderful words of encouragement! I know God has been preparing me over the last year for this. Even if things improve greatly and we no longer need 'help', at the very least He has given me a greater understanding of what it is like to have a special needs child. I believe He has magnificent things in store for us, no matter what struggles we may have to look forward to. I truly appreciate that you both, as well as the other ladies, cared enough to take the time to respond with your testimonies of your successes and your faith in God. Thank you! I always know I can come here and get Godly wisdom, advice, and support, all with a little bit of love thrown in!

[MicheleW]

If he were in public school special ed, he would get a high school diploma just like everyone else. He is doing the work that he can do. I spoke recently with a high school special ed teacher and that is what she told me. Those students are not doing "high school work" because they can't. You are the parent and can decide what is the level he can do and can "graduate" him when you see fit.

Thank you for the encouragement. It's hard not to worry if you are doing this "right" or not.

And to inHistiming, I wanted to say that despite my own struggles with homeschooling DS, his standardized test scores (still very low) have come up every year that he has been home. He had a really great teacher his last year in PS and I'm sure the school was doing all they could, but he needed the individualized program, the one-on-one time for every subject, and the security of being at home with family to really be all he can be.