Needing encouragement...

[montanamom]

I have a 7, 4 and 2 y/o & am currently using Beyond and LHTH. I love the curriculum and some days are just great! But it seems like this year (we used LHFHG last year) there are more 'not so good' or even 'bad' days than 'good' days. I've tried to determine why we are having such a 'struggle'...but the exact reason(s) remain a mystery. I have planned activities for the 2 &4 y/o to do while I work with the 7 y/o which usely work well, but they don't take the whole time, and it's still disruptive to get them set up with the activity. I really want HOD to work for us, but I feel like I'm not giving the younger ones the attention/supervision that they need and taking more time than needed with the oldest because of all the distratctions. Is this normal? Does everyone feel this way? Should I be scheduling something structured for the younger one for the entire time that I am working with the older one? When a younger child is out of eyesight, how do you keep them out of 'trouble'? Sorry for all the questions...I'm just really discouraged right now and unsure what to do/try next? Thanks in advance for any insights/ ideas.

[MelInKansas]

I know how you feel! It has been rough to get into and stay in a good routine with all my kids, and I do feel like my 2YO especially gets quite a shuffle around. But the having planned activities for her to do, or at least a place for her to be, really helps. It is tough, when we get distracted or things get derailed with Beyond it sure seems like it can drag on forever! With my 2YO since she isn't doing any school yet, my special time with her is right before her naptime. We read, sing a song, snuggle, and she goes to bed. I do feel bad sometimes that she doesn't get much attention, but she seems to thrive with the routine and time with her sisters (each of the older ones have a short time where they play with the 2YO while I'm doing something with the other one).

To specifically answer your questions - I do have things sort of "planned" for the younger 2 while I'm working with the older one, and their unsupervised time together is VERY short. Not more than 20 minutes. Apart it's 20 or 30 minutes. I don't necessarily have activities planned as much as groups of things they can do during each block - my 2YO has things in her closet in her room that are specifically for her to play with while she is in there alone. Her room is fairly child proof, there's just not much wrong she can do in there besides jump on the bed which she usually doesn't do. There are some other good posts on here about people who have great stations set up for the younger kids to go around and do activities, I will go see if I can find one. If either of your kids like to color, draw on a chalk board, those could be something quiet they could do fairly close by and still hopefully not be disturbing you (this doesn't work for me, my 2YO thinks we have to be paying attention to her). Others use videos or computer games. I don't do this yet... my 6.5 YO would be insanely jealous of her sisters getting anything like that. Occasionally the 2YO gets to watch a video while school is going on but very very rarely.

One thing I have worked on is the transitions between the activities or blocks of time I have scheduled. Sometimes it could take forever for us to move from one thing to the next, because one or the other of the kids was being slow or just chatty. I try to keep it moving right along. I try to split up the seatwork things or things that require more focus (copywork, spelling, math, Emerging Readers, History, Storytime for example) with the things that are more active and "easier" (Bible verse/memory, poetry reading with actions, we also have a music time in our school period so the kids dance around during that). I do the rotating box and math at the end because those are fun and it doesn't matter what the younger ones are doing, my DD will keep going and finish it off because she wants to (she really likes math, I think this is opposite for some people).

When I am reading to the kids - for History, Storytime, devotional reading if that is in that day, my 2YO is in her room with a snack, music, and some toys that she really likes. She is not supposed to come out. Otherwise I don't know how I would get those things done. My 4.5 YO listens to the readings though, she has always done that with her older sister so she's used to it. The 6.5 YO and 4.5 YO munch their snacks while I read.

The 4.5 YO and 2 YO play together in one of our toy rooms while I do LA, spelling with my 6.5 YO. This is short, and right next door so I pop my head in as needed, but the interruptions if they come out or if I have to go intervene are sometimes disruptive. Thankfully now my 6.5 YO does copywork without needing too much of my prompting to continue, so an occasional break isn't too bad. We do this first in the morning, after Bible, because it is the thing that my DD has the worst attitude about. The earlier we do it the better it goes.

[Tracee]

I pray every morning with a friend, so I'll make sure we pray for you. Recently, I had an 18 month old in our home, and it was very difficult to get anything done. I forgot how hard it is to have toddlers around. I don't think it has anything to do with HOD, but more to do with the difficulty having little ones in the home. Does your little one take a nap? Maybe you could do the bulk of work while the little one naps. I don't have a lot of great advice for you, but I definitely empathize with your situation and will be praying for you.


Tracy

[montanamom]

Melissa, thanks for the reply. It is encouraging to see that you are making it work with similar age kids! We do similar things as far as my youngest (actually not quite 2) having highchair time and 4 y/o listening to a devotion tape in another room while I do Poetry and Bible with the 7 y/o. Then when we do Beyond's spelling/LA and math the youngest plays with toys in her crib and I try to have the 4 y/o do one of the LHTH table activities. You mentioned that you've worked on your transitions between boxes and I think we could use help there...because by the time I've got the younger ones set up with something, the oldest has lost her momentum or gotten fully distracted to some other activity. So, do you (or anyone else) have tips on how to deal with keeping the oldest on task while getting the others set up? Another challenge that I have is that my youngest 2 children share a bedroom, so if they are spending time on their own, then the baby gets her crib and my son goes to another room which means extra time for him to gather toys to have with him and then to return the toys and the end of the time...yes those transitions are definitely stressful! Also, does your youngest have any freetime while you're doing Beyond or is it all structured? Mine has both and during the small amount of freetime, she has recently been quick to find 'trouble' (i.e. eat toothpaste, pour milk on the carpet, etc)!

[sharonb]

I definitely know how you feel! To answer your last question, my younger dc do have free time when I'm working with the older children. I sometimes try to get them set up with a particular activity, but most of the time I tell them to play in the playroom, or sit at the table with playdough or coloring stuff. To be honest, much of the time structured activities flop (IMO) because it takes time to set them up, and then the dc tire of them too quickly for our liking. I prefer to let my dc choose what they want to do, and then they are less disruptive. It helps to find the best time for everything. I had been working with my LHTH dc first thing, and then giving them freetime to play, but they were disruptive to the older dc. I switched things around because the younger dc play together great right after breakfast, so I take that opportunity to work with my older dc. My oldest 2 (in Preparing) have plenty they can do independently, so they are able to keep working even when I'm occupied with younger dc. My Beyond child needs me for most everything, so I don't expect him to keep working when I have to get up for a minute. There are parts of math and phonics that he can do on his own after I get him started, but for the most part, I don't expect him to do a whole lot on his own. I'm a lot less stressed keeping things more laid-back; I expect that there will be interruptions, and I try not to let them bother me. All that being said, I do teach my dc that when I'm reading aloud they should not interrupt me; some days are better than others for that!

Oh, one more thing- my youngest still takes 2 naps a day, so we do a lot of school when he is asleep. When he is awake, he plays in his playpen quite a bit. I know from experience that in about 4 or 5 months things will get a lot more interesting, but we survived it before; we can survive it again!

[montanamom]

Sharonb, thanks for your comments...you are so positive! Unfortunately right now we don't have a 'playroom' (except the living room were we also do the majority of our 'school') and my 21 month old only takes one nap which is in the afternoon, yet my dd7 who does Beyond is much better for school in the morning, so we do a playtime in her crib for my youngest in the morning, but like you said, the stuctured activities take time to get set up. Thanks for reminding me of this...
[quote="sharonb"]I expect that there will be interruptions, and I try not to let them bother me. /quote] ... I can definitely work on that!

[MelInKansas]

To smooth transitions everything is already set up for these times they have in different places. We do have a playroom so that one's easy and that's where the 4YO and 2YO play together. Sometimes I get blocks out and put those in the middle of the room to encourage them to do that, or there are several different boxes of things that are up and they can only have when I get them down (dress up, polly pockets, some of the nicer toys that are in sets and I don't want spread all over the house, legos). So I might pull down one of those boxes, but otherwise it takes 1 minute because I usher them into the room, pull out a set for them to play with, and close the door. For your 4YO needing to have toys in a different area I would have him pick them and move them either right before you start school, send him off to do this by himself at the end of another block of time, or try to find an area that can be set up with just his stuff all the time so he doesn't have to pull them out. Same deal with my 2YO going in her room (which she is by herself), her toys are already all in the closet and I may pull a few out, but generally since she also has a snack her time is consumed with that, and she loves the music!

If I had to spend a lot of time (more than 1-2 minutes) setting anyone up then I would for sure lose my 6.5 YO too. Though I suppose one thing you could do (someone had suggested this to me) was either having her get out her things, or having her look over her reading (if you are doing Emerging Readers, didn't know if you are) before she reads, or something like that. The other transition problem was my 6.5 YO even wanting to dawdle between tasks, she does need a break too. The main break we take is when I am preparing their snack.

[sharonb]

Sharonb, thanks for your comments...you are so positive!

I'm glad I was able to help. I haven't always been this positive, but I've learned that I've got to relax a little and remember that "this too shall pass". I have tried to make schedules many times, but it took so much time and energy to make sure the younger dc were doing what I wanted them to do. So, in my house, we are checklist people. As long as it all gets done, I don't care what order it's done in. This is working great for us; my dc are getting all of their work done each day and are thriving.

[MelInKansas]

Oh my, I can relate to a youngest who is all trouble too! My 2 YO, if it's quiet and she's not with us, watch out! She is slowly learning boundaries but she is also one who likes to test them, so I definitely have to keep watch on her.

The free time she has by herself, or with her 4YO sister I am definitely in earshot and I know if she's leaving the area she's supposed to be in and going somewhere else. Otherwise... trouble! She gets into a lot of her trouble in the bathroom, unrolling TP, putting on lipstick, etc.

[AmandaNicole]

"This too shall pass" My kiddos are 7,6, and 4 and I so remember those days. I find that we still have issues with interrupting. I try very hard to make sure each child gets some mommy time throughout the day, but that is so easier said than done. My younger 2 also share a room, so while my oldest and I do the right side of Bigger, they are required to stay in thier room to play, usually after breakfast. Then my oldest will entertain the 4 year old in his room, reading books or coloring, puzzles, etc while my 6 yr old and I go through LHFHG, we do it all in one sitting. Then I let the bigger boys watch tv, play on Starfall or with the leapster while my little guy and I read books or just play together. Then we eat lunch and the younger 2 go down for naps, 6 yr old can look at books but will usually fall asleep, while we finish up bigger for the day.

I remember the days with 3 kids 3 and under, and thought how in the world will I survive this day! Your feelings are not alone, We all go through those times. We are only Human. Hang in there. You are a wonderful mommy, and your children are blessed to have you in thier lives.

[tollhousemom]

A couple of threads that might be really helpful...

viewtopic.php?f=6&t=10601&p=77197&hilit=toddler#p77197

viewtopic.php?f=6&t=8823&p=64908&hilit=toddler#p64908