follow-up for Bible Study in RTR

[deltagal]

How do you do follow-up with independent work?

I am thinking broadly, but have my mind more specifically on the Bible Study in RTR.

I feel confident that my son is simply glossing over it. And I'm wondering what more I could/should do to elevate/inspire his level of engagement with the Philippians Bible Study in particular. I know that he feels the book is childish for him (soon to be 15) and yet, I know from my own review that the content is quite good. Just wondering what I could/should do here.... Your thoughts?

[Heather4Him]

Florence, I don't have any suggestions right now, but I am curious for replies, too, because we are in a similar situation. DD thinks the book is too young for her, but I think the content is good and am still having her do it.

[deltagal]

Heather,

Thank you for chiming in. I initially made some adjustments for my son and substituted in material with an "older" feel, but I don't think that has made a difference AND I still like HOD's book choice better than mine content-wise. We begain this week with the HOD selection, yet I'm still trying to discern what is best. Hopefully, some others will offer their thoughts.

[Carrie]

Ladies,

This is a great question! I'll just share what I'm thinking from my perspective, but since we're talking about older kiddos beyond the guide's target age range here, your own perspective will matter more than mine.

With the Bible Quiet Time box found within any of our guides, one of our main focuses is getting kiddos into the habit of having a daily quiet time with the Lord. We desire for this time to be spent reading God's Word, praying, memorizing and hiding His Word in the heart, and singing praise to our Maker. These parts are all found within the Bible Quiet Time box.

Another thing that is important is for kiddos to be quiet before our Lord and think upon Him. If we turn the Bible Quiet Time into a Bible Study session, it then takes on a different focus with different goals. This is why each of our guides from CTC on up contains both a Bible Quiet Time box and a Bible Study box. They are two different things, with two different goals. One is focused on one-on-one time at our Savior's feet. Of course this time is also a time to dig into God's Word, but it is a time for the student to learn to do this on his/her own through a personal study of God's Word. The other is focused on talking about and sharing our faith with one another and coming to a better understanding of God's Word and what we believe.

With that in mind, since you have older children, how do we go about extending the Bible Quiet Time without turning it into a Bible Study that you as the parent takes over? One possible suggestion would be to have your student do the Bible Quiet Time box as written, but then also require your child to keep a journal for each day of the Bible Quiet Time. You could require an entry for each day along with the assignments in the Bible Quiet Time box. The entry could have several required parts for the student such as listing the Scripture studied for the day, copying part of the Scripture that stood out to you, summarizing the meaning of the studied Scripture, and writing a reflection of what that means to you or how it could be applied to your life. These are just my thoughts, but perhaps they will get you thinking of what you could do to encourage a higher level of application without making it a drudgery. I wouldn't recommend this for younger students, as it would be too much written work when paired with all of the other writing in the guide, but for older students it is one possibility.

I agree that the study appears to be for a younger crowd, but the Biblical truths wound within it are actually very meaty and are good for all ages. I gained much from going through the study as I planned it and it brought me to connect various Biblical passages in a different way. We have looked at so many Bible studies and found Evelyn Wheeler's studies to be accessible, to speak directly to the heart of the reader through God's Word, and to take students back to God's Word and His plan for salvation over and over. Her studies show students how to be joyful in times of trial, to expect hardship and seek the Lord's face, and to learn to live for Him in all that they do. She seeks for students to know and love our Lord, to stand in awe of His presence and power, and to know without a doubt that Jesus is God's Son. These are truths that I want my children to hear and know.

Blessings,
Carrie

[deltagal]

Hi Carrie,

Thank you for your reply. I'm realizing after reading your response and looking at the guide again that I had misunderstood the intent of the Philippians study and the Devotional study. You've helped clarify that for me. Thank you.

Now, I'm thinking back to my original question - which is how do you follow up with independent work? I feel quite confident that my son is not at all engaged in the Philippians study. As a result, I don't think he is completing the assignment (or interested in the assignment) as set forth in the guide. What can I do to encourage him in this area?

[water2wine]

With that in mind, since you have older children, how do we go about extending the Bible Quiet Time without turning it into a Bible Study? One possible suggestion would be to have your student do the Bible Quiet Time box as written, but then also require your child to keep a journal for each day of the Bible Quiet Time. You could require an entry for each day along with the assignments in the Bible Quiet Time box. The entry could have several required parts for the student such as listing the Scripture studied for the day, copying part of the Scripture that stood out to you, summarizing the meaning of the studied Scripture, and writing a reflection of what that means to you or how it could be applied to your life. These are just my thoughts, but perhaps they will get you thinking of what you could do to encourage a higher level of application without making it a drudgery. I wouldn't recommend this for younger students, as it would be too much written work when paired with all of the other writing in the guide, but for older students it is one possibility.

Ditto to that! I also have them orally narrate what they have read and then apply it to something we have seen in our life or directly to themselves. That has them writing, thinking and verbalizing with all those things. And from all that at that age you then see it being stored into their heart as well as applied to their life. Another thing is to do a prayer journal and rewrite the verses into prayer, then keep a list of how God answered that and go over with them/discuss it weekly.

[mmschool]

I don't have children old enough to really speak to teens, but I do know that it has taken me a while as an adult, to come to something that is comfortable to me in my quiet time with God. Maybe you could have a conversation with your son about what you do in quiet time with God (and maybe your husband too). If he perceived it as related to something his parents did - an adult thing, then he would be more invested in making it his own. How do you or your husband record insights into Scripture? If he could record his insights like that, rather than in his workbook, maybe it would feel more grown up, even if he was still following the meat of the program.

Lena

dd3-LHTH
ds1
ds - soon?

[deltagal]

So many good thoughts - thank you Lena, W2W, Carrie and Heather.

A little bit more background on this issue. I have found as this son has gotten older he has gone from a disciplined and devout enjoyment of scripture to it no longer interesting him. He has 2 great role models in his Dad and myself, who love the word and study it daily on a variety of levels. And yet, in his world there are no other teens that do this. In his case as he has moved more solidly into his teens there, quite frankly, are so many things that interest him more and so few examples to journey on this path. Although this is common I want to continue to encourage him to stay with a path where God's word illuminates each day. We've had a lot of great talks recently around this topic. Just last week he shared with me that it simply wasn't a priority for him and that he feels he's accomplishing more when he completes his notebook pages and independent history work. I had to chuckle and say I think that's a great example of real life - everything always will seem more important at a glance than study of God's word. I asked him if it would help if I did the Philipppians study with him. He said it would. And so we've begun at the beginning working through the material. I've re-established with him that THIS is the priority and that although his Dad and I do want him to complete his math, and dictation and grammar and chores each day for academic reasons. More importantly, we want him to be intentional with his engagement with the word of God, so he can once again re-connect and continue to grow in his love of the Lord. And so, we're journeying together with this. I've reminded him that the goal is for him to enjoy this time independently and when he's able and ready to do that to simply let me know and he is free to do that. So, that's where we are. Don't misunderstand - this is a great young man I'm talking about - disciplined, focused, respectful and responsible, but still growing (as we all are). And so, I find that I have personally an area of quandry - a longing to share this experience with him, but a desire for him to be independent. I don't necessarily want to add more to his or my day, but am pondering how to stay connected with him (and in turn with my others) especially in this area. Make sense?

[Heather4Him]

Thanks Carrie and all for the great input on this.
Florence, it sounds like you are "finding your groove" with your son. That's great!

I took Carrie's advice and told our dd that this particular Bible box was more about her having special time with the Lord each day, rather than being a deep dig into the Bible study portion. I told her to use the book as food for thought on what to talk to the Lord about in prayer, what to think on, etc.
We do deeper Bible study with the "Beautiful Girlhood", and also she is reading through the Bible on her own, so this box is great for being a "Quiet Time" box, without being overly "academic".

Thanks for clarifying the purpose, Carrie! Our dd is in the guide range for the extensions (13-14), and I think that the book still has great content, and we'll continue with it!

[water2wine]

Florence,

I really feel like Bible study habits and even the love for the Lord sometimes is made from muscle memory. So going through the steps does help to develop that love. I really believe that. Also as hard as it is for us as parents but statistically I have read kids that question their relationship and the why of it all as teens go on to stay with God as adults. I guess it is all part of making it real for those that grow up with faith. I was not raised that way so when I came to the Lord I completely got why I needed Him and why I need to be in the Word.

What you said and how you are planning things sounds really good to me. I think you are handling it great.

[anointedhsmom]

I'm really glad I noticed this thread even if it's a few days late. I've been having some similar concerns about my son and Florence, it's sounds as if our sons are very similar. My son was (and still is in many ways) growing by leaps and bounds. He stays in our church service and was growing and learning so much from the pastor that we had at that time. In the spring that pastor was called to plant a church in England and we have a new pastor. The new pastor is wonderful also but very different from the previous one and my son has lost interest in staying in service now and his growth appears to be slowing. This has me hyper aware of everything going on this child's life. I'll stick to the Bible Quiet Time in RtR.

I've thought of doing the study with him. Or having him do his quiet time at the same time as me so he can see me in action. I've failed at showing him that. I LOVE the Wheeler books and I think that if I do the book with him I can not only know exactly what he is reading/doing so we can talk about it but also I will grow too as Carrie spoke of in planning the books. I noticed that he was putting off the Quiet Time box until after he had done other things and we talked about it always being the FIRST thing he did. It was the most important thing he needed to do each day. If nothing else gets done one day then at least his quiet time did. So he's begun doing that but I don't think he's really applying himself. I feel it's more of a check off the list type of thing for him. This makes me sad.

I know something needs to change and it helps to know there are others dealing with the same things. I've been very sick for a week now but we are back to normal next week. I'm going to pray about the specific changes that need to happen where this is concerned. I'm looking forward to a new beginning next week.

[deltagal]

Thank you W2W and anointedhsmom,

As always this journey continues to be a grace-filled one. Yesterday I was forging into the day with other things and my 14 yo gently said, "we need to do Bible study." And so we did. The night before for the first time in years he volunteered to lead our evening prayers. For me the message I keep hearing from God is keep working "the plan" and trust that I will take care of everything else. And the plan is to be completely focused on discipleship.

We're going to continue with the Philippians study. And I'm excited about this! I've made some adjustments to the Devotional Bible Study that seem to be a better fit for him. And I'm excited about this, as well. God is good.

[my3sons]

God IS good, and may He do a mighty work in each of our dc's hearts! Florence, I'm so glad you've been encouraged by what you've seen lately with your ds's Bible study. I agree with water2wine's words...
I really feel like Bible study habits and even the love for the Lord sometimes is made from muscle memory.

It seems like things first started out of duty can over time grow into things we love. I would describe MY time spent in Bible quiet time in this way. I started it as a young married woman not sure how it should look, not sure what to do, and not extremely directed or inspired to do it to be honest. Now, it is like oxygen to me. That which was once a duty has become a delight. Reading God's Word is like that, it first gets into our heads and then (Lord willing) into our hearts. That is why I am so thankful that HOD is helping our dc to develop the habit of a daily Bible Quiet Time at a young age, and continuing on with it each year. I believe how we speak about it ourselves makes a big difference as well. For example, when I am praying in the morning, if my dc rush into interrupt me in my bedroom, I quietly let them know I am praying and this is my special time to talk to God, so they will need to wait. I try to let them know I DEPEND on my Bible Quiet Time to get my attitude right at the start of the day. If I have a poor attitude and it is due to my missing my Bible Quiet Time, I try to confess that to my dc. It's also great to share the JOY of doing it, and they eventually will understand that as well. I know you are full of joy and delight in God's Word, Florence, and that will surely convey itself to your ds in ways you didn't even plan for! Anyway, those thoughts came to mind as I read this thread, and I pray that the Lord keeps working in our dc's hearts and minds!

In Christ,
Julie