I need to find a new place to vent

[Heidi in AK]

So, I posted on my Facebook today that DD5 and I were at odds about handwriting. Before I go into it, I think it was a wilfulness issue and not an ability issue. She just confessed to me that she had sin in her heart.

However, what I hate is that Facebook is made up of lots of varied people from different paths of life, and some from other times when I wasn't walking with the Lord so closely. Some of them outright questioned my homeschooling and advocated me putting my DD into public school. One even insinuated that our situation at home wasn't "safe" by saying that she would be in a safe place with people she could trust if she went to a PS.

I'm so mad I could spit nails!!! Please forgive me for that unredeemed comment. I'm just really angry, not even so much at DD's and my goings-on today, but more at others' uneducated and unwelcome responses.

[lollie010]

I have made it a personal policy not to post anything about homeschooling or education on facebook. I post generic funny things that the kids say, but not about anything that points to homeschooling. My close friends know this is what we do and the others just don't need to know.

I don't have very thick skin and criticism really gets to me so I just decided to avoid having to defend my choices. I hope that you find peace in the situation. I totally understand the heartache.

[lharris]

Wow! I can understand why you are mad! To imply that your children are not safe with you because you homeschool is unforgiveable almost. I think because facebook should be a place where you can have "tea" with your friends, I would quietly "unfriend" some people. I had to do that with a classmate that posted an article criticizing people who read the Bible literally. I didn't have the strength to witness to her, thankfully someone else was, so I clicked the button. Pray for strength and courage and I hope you never have that kind of hostility again. I keep my facebook light too. You may feel free to befriend me
In Christ,
Laura

[mater est laetus]

Facebook "friends" .. they're quite a bunch.

Yes, it is a general rule that you only discuss problems in a supportive environment. That's not what Facebook is for. However, you can set your status to only be visible by certain people and in that way you could share with only appropriate groups according to what you're sharing.

Side note, I wouldn't have taken the comment about the safe environment to have any implication about the poster's thoughts on your home but rather their presumptions of your motives for homeschooling. That said, the comment is fallacious. I'm not saying that you can't have a safe environment with trustworthy people in PS but I will say that such a sweeping and absolute statement is groundless.

[Robbi]

Ugh!!! I feel your pain!!! Sometimes I get really fed up with Facebook! !!! I am even very careful who I friend!!! No old high school friends etc. ... and still I have a hard time saying much about homeschooling on fb. Maybe it's because we are just starting out. I don't know. My one suggestion would be to "unfriend" those people, if possible. My prayers go out to you!!! You ARE doing the right thing!!

[gotpeace91]

I'm sorry that happened today. You are doing a wonderful thing by homeschooling and don't forget that. We all have down days but there is no one who will love your child like you do. Stay strong! I have been rather picky about the friend requests that I will accept. Also, I have learned to set some of my statuses so that only certain people can see it. If you look just below the space where you type your status there is a little padlock. Click on that padlock and then choose customize in the little drop down menu.

[KristinBeth]

How did I miss this post earlier?
Grrrrr that is so frustrating! I don't talk about homeschooling on facebook either, because I just don't want to get into it with people who don't get it. I'm too wimpy in my resolve to deal with lots of criticism anyway. You are doing the right thing by your daughter, most of your FB friends won't understand your choices, especially if they are not following the path laid out by the Lord. You can save your vents for us, Heidi! We get it!

[Tansy]

I find the the little X button that appears when you hover over a comment is soooo useful... one click and you can delete it, ignore it, Hide it, stop that person from posting ever again.. wow if only real life was this way!

yes you had to read it once but it is your wall and your conversation.

That said lots of my FB friends support us as missionaries...(aka send us $$ every month so we can eat) many times my unsaved friends post inappropriate comments which I delete. And I TRY to never say anything on FB that I wouldn't write in my newsletter. I'm constantly editing myself.

As for PS being safe... Um where my child got kicked b/c she stayed in line and behaved? or where she was told daily Your Mom didn't want you, that's why your adopted, nobody likes you not even your real mom...

Oh yeah that's safe... really...

[Jessi]

Oh the joys and trials that is Facebook. I'm sorry for your "attack" on there today. As a rule I don't post a lot of personal family stuff online unless it is funny or sweet. Too often, people feel the need to insert themselves into others' lives and have every opinion imaginable. The trouble with Facebook is that it is a public platform for voicing everything you want to say. When you put it out in public, others feel they have a right to comment on it, good or bad. Sorry.

[Larissa]

I rarely post updates on facebook anymore. I don't have very thick skin either. I do enjoy having the ability to keep up with people that at one time I never thought I'd "see" again! I also have some "friends" that I pray for often who are making choices that are contrary to my beliefs. There are two things that I believe Christians need to be doing ... and those two things are what determine whether or not we are in God's will. 1. Love the Lord with all our hearts, soul, and mind. 2. Love our neighbor as ourself.

Love God. Love People.

Anytime I read an update that flies in the face of everything that I stand for ... I pray. Facebook can be a really amazing tool for prayer!

[christina101902]

I do not post anything negative about our hs day on facebook ever. However, I do share pics and updates, I use fb to keep my mom, who lives out of state, up to speed on her only granddaughters education. However I love sharing our many successes as I have a few naysayers to choosing hs over ps and it keeps their negative comments at bay. I want to show that I'm not ashamed of hs, I'm extremely proud of my daughter and HOD. It doesn't hurt to have the president of our local homeschool group on my fb friends list either . I try not to post negative comments period on fb about anything my child has done, thats what a phone call to my mom is for ( which she then reminds me that I was the same way when I was my daughters age )

[Kims]

I have a love/hate relationship with Fb too.
I do not post things about my intimate life on there either. I just post generic stuff and sometimes prayer requests. I really wish I never joined most days. Wonder why I don't deactivate.

So sorry this happened to you. I would not have been so nice. I would have pulled up all the articles about children being molested in school and shootings and posted them for your "friend"

[Busymomma1]

I've been debating the same thing. Loved FB at first, now might de-friend most and just keep up with family. Not sure... But one thing I'm realizing... it's a big time-waster for me, so I'm trying to just stay off most days.

[faithful2him]

I would probably agree with you that facebook may not be the best place to vent. However, that said, I would look at whom you have on facebook. I post about hoemschooling unashamedly. I even posted yesterday how wonderful it is that we can start at whatever time because we all slept in. Today, I posted that we were going to have a long lunch/recess and go swimming with friends.

My facebook settings are posted to be seen by friends only. I don't do the friends of friends because I want to choose who is a part of my life. I keep only friends and family who are uplifting and support my walk in the Lord on facebook. Does that mean they all agree 100% with my decision to homeschool? Most likely not. But, they don't question it.

Maybe a private message to your friend that you do not appreciate the comments and that it hurt. Tell her it might be best if she does not comment on your homeschooling. And, if that doesn't take care of it....I would unfriend.

Good luck!

[Heidi in AK]

I just have it set to friends too, but some of these "friends" I haven't seen in years. What I don't like is that MIL is also a friend, and on that post, as well as privately, wrote to me and told me I should put DD in public school because "at least she'd have a positive motivation" while at home. Oh well. It's a chance to bless those who persecute me, I guess. That's easier said than done, but the right thing to do, nonetheless.