Help with preparing!

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anne cochrane
Posts: 32
Joined: Sat Jun 11, 2011 4:59 am

Help with preparing!

Post by anne cochrane » Fri Jul 22, 2011 4:38 am

We have completed our first week. It has been exhausting because of my ds's behaviour issues connected with school!!! He seems to hate anything to do with school and has the attitude that he just wants to get it over and done with! And if I have to pull him into line he chucks a two year old tantrum in a ten year old body! He complains, distracts easily, makes annoying noises and finds it difficult to focus unless I am in the room or he is really interested in the activity! It isn't a reaction to HOD, he has been like this at the beginning of every term since we started this year. And I really need it to stop!

My dd really enjoyed her first day of HOD, but now feels like there is so much to do! This may have something to do with ds's behaviour creating a longer day. She doesn't like copywork, as she wants to write freely. She says she enjoyed the fill the blanks in at school! She is arty but finds the write and draw frustrating as she wants it to be perfect! And would rather do it her way! I think she feels too confined to copy and she isn't feeling the freedom to express herself!

I, on the other hand, love HOD! I see that it is biblically grounded, christ centred and just what I want for my family. I just want it to flow easier in my family. I am going to try doing work boxes next week. I just need prayer that ds will calm down and his disobedience issues will be overcome and conquered! And that we can be blessed through HOD plus we all settle into it well :)

Any advice welcome.

Thanks Anne
A newbie from Australia

dd (7) and ds(10) preparing
dd (4) LHTH
ds (1) trying to join in.

chillin'inandover

Re: Help with preparing!

Post by chillin'inandover » Fri Jul 22, 2011 6:47 am

Have you checked placement in guides. It is not recommended that a 7 year old do Preparing as it is a lot of work their little bodies aren't ready for. I just finished Preparing with my then 8 year old (9 on 7/6)and I had to tweak it although he was recommended age but not skill level (cursive, writing narratives, analysis of reading). Preparing has a lot of independent work that ds needed assistance with to complete successfully. We loved Preparing but ds is a young 3rd grade boy so we didn't get as much "meat" out of it so taking a step back next year so he will be ready for CTC in 5th grade. We have used DITHOR since it was written in 2001 so will be using that. Just MO!
Tammy
wife 21 years
dd 19
dd 17
ds 9
dd 5

arstephia
Posts: 286
Joined: Fri May 14, 2010 4:58 pm

Re: Help with preparing!

Post by arstephia » Fri Jul 22, 2011 6:50 am

Hello! I don't have advice specifically about your son other than keeping to the guide/schedule and continuing through. HOD (and homeschooling in general) is such a different world than the one your kids are used to. It will take some time for them to come out of that. Just don't give up. Even my kids, who have been homeschooled since day 1, struggled when we started HOD. They were used to a textbook approach, which they didn't particularly like but it was they were used to. I also got the "isn't there a worksheet I can do instead" complaints, but now there is no way they'd go back. It may take to Unit 12 before they start to soften up and maybe Unit 30 before they appreciate it. Just keep plugging away. It is worth it.
I've done all the guides now with at least one child and still feeling the HOD LOVE. LOL!
DD 9- Preparing
DD 13- Rev 2 Rev
DS 15- Geography

anne cochrane
Posts: 32
Joined: Sat Jun 11, 2011 4:59 am

Re: Help with preparing!

Post by anne cochrane » Fri Jul 22, 2011 3:48 pm

Hi thanks for replies. I was feeling very defeated yesterday!

Dd is very capable of doing the work and is proving that by steadily working her way through the activities. It was just comments that she made afterwards and she did get frustrated at the drawing of the man! And I was in two minds becasue she is 8 in 2 months, but I wanted to combine. Possibly I should have gone with the manual below but they are capable of the work. They are just still adjusting to this new way. but I will certainly keep an eye on her and when tax returns are in will reevaluate for her! So much appreciated. Maybe the length of the day is too much, so maybe I'll rethink.

I know they have to settle in and as I have discovered it isn't what I am doing which is the problem but the attitude of ds, I won't change again. I am sticking with HOD but I am desperate for a break through with my son. Thankyou for the encouragement :) I definately needed it.
A newbie from Australia

dd (7) and ds(10) preparing
dd (4) LHTH
ds (1) trying to join in.

my3sons
Posts: 10702
Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2007 7:08 pm
Location: South Dakota

Re: Help with preparing!

Post by my3sons » Fri Jul 22, 2011 7:56 pm

Hi Anne! :D It's going to be just fine - you have just started school, and it really is going to take some time to ease into it. We have all felt defeated before, so HUGS - but I know this is going to keep on improving every day. :D I will try to share a few thoughts I had in case any of them may be helpful. Do you think it would be a good idea to try to go half-speed for a week or two? You could look at it as a time to really focus on carefully teaching the routine of each box and working on modifying ds's behavior.

When it comes to helping my dc replace a poor habit with a good habit, I have found it really helps me to think through consequences when I am not in the heat of the moment of disciplining. For example, my ds would sometimes balk at me teaching the math and grammar lessons. He would talk over me and try to convince me he didn't need my help because he already knew it, but then he'd go on to make a bunch of mistakes and prove... no surprise to me - he DID need me to teach it but didn't want me too. Honestly, this made me angry and feel disrespected. I would throw out these silly consequences that he knew I wouldn't follow through on or that were just too delayed to make a difference, that we'd make no progress.

In a calmer moment, I decided I'd have a talk with him and explain the pattern of behavior that needed to change (i.e. I've noticed when I start to teach the grammar and math lessons, we argue. I know you want to do it yourself, but there are new skills you have not been taught that I need to teach. I can't have you talking over me or being unwilling to let me teach you these skills, as I am - in fact - the teacher and I deserve your respect. The Bible says that you are to "Honor your father and mother..." and you are not doing so when you are disobedient. I, in turn, am responsible for making sure I hold you accountable for what the Bible is asking you to do. So, if this happens again, I will first point out that you need to let me teach. If you continue to have an unteachable spirit, you will need to have a time out to change your attitude. I will also try to change my attitude if need be. I'll expect you to come back ready to learn with a better attitude, alright?"...

(This is the part of the plan I thought out further that I did not share with him, as we all know dc will "try" the plan to see what happens...)
...I expect a hug, and an "I'm sorry", and we will pray together about it. If you do not return with a more can-do-it cheerful manner, you will need to go to time out again. I may at this point have you stay in time out awhile, as I don't like to waste time. I may use your teaching time at this point to teach my other 2 dc, and you may then have to wait for me and get done with school later. At this point, if you cannot come back with a teachable spirit, you will have a consequence (i.e. go to bed 30 minutes early, or no dessert today, no computer time today, etc.).

This worked very well. I made sure to follow through on this every time this behavior crept up. It got to where I would start to say, "You're not letting me teach again" and he would interrupt quickly and say, "I'm sorry, Mom. I'm ready to listen now." He wanted to avoid the whole time-out, sorry, hug, prayer, later finish time, etc. :lol: I did too. Worked well! :D

I will say that boys in general do want to finish school in a very timely fashion. So, I wouldn't add anything to the day, draw out any discussions, or have perfectionist type expectations for work (all things I have done and learned not to do). :lol: The attitude of wanting to get things done is a good thing, the tantrums, complaints, noises are not and can be changed given time. :D

It's good your dd is artsy and creative, and HOD really does allow for that, though maybe your dd doesn't see how yet. I'd point out to her that the Draw and Write figure must be drawn step-by-step as that is the skill being taught, but that the entire background can be done in her own creative way. She can interpret the drawings for the timeline and the history and science notebooking and the science experiment's procedure in her own way and be very creative in that, as long as she's following the directions for showing what she's learned. Likewise, copywork must be copied as the skill is to copy worthy words as well as capture sentences in her memory so as to help her write and spell better on her own, but that the poetry creative writing will become more and more of a way to express her own creative ideas. The DITHOR Student Book is open-ended and allows for creative answers as well. The history projects allow for much creativity too - so she'll definitely have a chance to exercise her creativity, she just also has to show what she's learned, which means there will be guidelines to follow - though not exact results as every child's final assignment looks different from another's. :D Fill-in-the-blank assignments are easier, they're comfortable because they require little thinking and imagination. Really thinking about what was read and responding to it in a CMlike manner takes time to get used to. I think your dc will grow to love it given time!!! :D They'll certainly be learning more. :wink:

I hope that some ideas here will help, but just know that you are not alone in working through character issues with dc. When one bad habit is fixed, it often seems another arises. I find I am the same way! :lol: I believe it's called "sin", and boy do we all struggle with it. It is difficult to work on the same character issues with certain dc, but in truth though it can be frustrating, it is a blessing in disguise because we have time to truly work on them. HTH! :D

In Christ,
Julie
Enjoyed LHTH to USII
Currently using USI
Wife to Rich for 28 years
Mother to 3 sons, ages 23, 20, and 16
Sister to Carrie

Carrie
Site Admin
Posts: 8128
Joined: Wed Aug 15, 2007 8:39 pm

Re: Help with preparing!

Post by Carrie » Fri Jul 22, 2011 8:22 pm

Anne,

The ladies are giving you great advice! Just keep remembering that it will take time to train your kiddos in these new habits and new style of learning. Perhaps you could go half-speed to begin with and ease into the work load, really taking time to train the kiddos in each box as you go. You could also give your daughter the option of tracing the Draw and Write pictures with tracing paper for now and let her move away from that whenever she is comfortable. :D

Last, if your kiddos continue to struggle once you get to week 6, it may be a good idea to consider shifting them down to Bigger Hearts instead. You could always return any unused books and exchange for Bigger Hearts with extensions. You'll know by Unit 6 whether you have a fit. :D

Blessings,
Carrie

anne cochrane
Posts: 32
Joined: Sat Jun 11, 2011 4:59 am

Re: Help with preparing!

Post by anne cochrane » Mon Jul 25, 2011 3:31 pm

Thankyou for all the encouragement and advice.

Amazingly monday turned out to be fantastic!!! I think both hte kids and I relaxed. We enjoyed what we were doing in each box, taking our time to really enjoy it! We didn't worry about schedules and times, just getting a real enjoyment from the learning experience. I have decided to run every day like this, and then just pick up where we left off. It may take a little longer but we all will have a wondeful adventure on the way.

The kids loved doing the cool and warm colour collage (my 4 year old also became involved). They all made it their own being very creative how they arranged their collages. My 4 year old made her warm colours into a house with stairs and people! My other daughter made a mosiac picture with an A over the top and a bonfire with her warm colours. My son created a warm picture of the sun setting low over some mushrooms. They did this all out of paper.

We approached the science in a more careful way this week, and the kids created a lovely picture of the ox's layers plus my ds had to draw an ox with it's baby!

When we were reading Life in the great Ice Age, my ds, who had been unhappy about his extra readings (which I do with him now - mum/son time!), a switch went off! He became excited and shared what we had been reading together. He made a connection between the two readings :)

I hope today goes as well as yesterday! They are really excited about doing some painting today, so here we go....

Anne
A newbie from Australia

dd (7) and ds(10) preparing
dd (4) LHTH
ds (1) trying to join in.

LAB
Posts: 55
Joined: Mon Jun 27, 2011 8:50 pm

Re: Help with preparing!

Post by LAB » Mon Jul 25, 2011 4:39 pm

Your day sounds fantastic! I hope today is just as good! It makes me excited for next yr!
Laura, mommy to Christine (1-02), Nicole (5-03), both doing Bigger, Everett (4-09) and Alister (9-10)

moedertje
Posts: 761
Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2008 7:31 pm
Location: Sarasota, Fl

Re: Help with preparing!

Post by moedertje » Mon Jul 25, 2011 8:18 pm

Anne,

So glad your day went better and that you are giving yourself and the kids time to adjust to the guide, very wise. :D Sounds like you have creative ones at home. :P :P If you happen to take pictures you can post them at the end of the week under the "week in review" section of the board. No pressure :wink:
We are starting with Preparing in a week or two and my plan is to take it slow until ds and I are in the flow of things. :D :D
Success and I look forward to enjoying the journey with you and your family here on the board. :D
Raising Arrows; Psalms 127:4
ds17, Class of 2020, now at IHOPU
ds 15, WH
dd 13, MTMM
In year 1 of homeschooling it all started with LHTH for us.

anne cochrane
Posts: 32
Joined: Sat Jun 11, 2011 4:59 am

Re: Help with preparing!

Post by anne cochrane » Wed Jul 27, 2011 4:38 am

Thanks guys, I think pacing myself is a much better idea. I tried to cram in today and not a good idea!! pacing is good, as we enjoy all that we are doing no pressure to rush on to finish! I think I will adopt this approach from now on as we get more out of it and I don't get stressd and the kids don't get overwhelmed!! Unless I revert back like I did today!! Not a good idea and lots of stress!! I need to learn from my mistakes and not go back!!

I have posted photos on my blog of last week and monday this week. I am new to blogging, but here is the link if you want to take a look: http://anne-homeschooladventures.blogspot.com/.

I have been told it can take a year to find your rythm, so we will keep at it. And I love how God uses HOD in our lives. My son struggles with obedience and some of the stories we have read have really spoken to him. Also God has inspired me to use them to speak to Damon in a very gentle way about good and bad choices, letting sin destroy us, God wanting the best for us and consequences!! related to choices again. And Damon is responding. God truly moves within HOD. It is hard to write exactly how and what God ahs moved in my heart and my sons. But I am thankful for finding HOD and being able to teach from Gods word every day, and in every subject. It truly is a blessing.
A newbie from Australia

dd (7) and ds(10) preparing
dd (4) LHTH
ds (1) trying to join in.

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